About FMLA. The closest thing to balancing that out that some districts have (and this may just be for teachers) is a sick leave bank. So you donate like 2 days a year and then if you're out of sick days, you can use some from the bank. Idk the limit though. And I'm told FMLA is 60 consecutive days and I'm definitely the type to take 59 and then just request leave un-consecutively as I want.
@ButterMyBiscuit I hate lol. It's become an add-on to sentences and is completely pointless.
Also I agree that kids need to be exposed to A LOT of different foods, prepared different ways, many times. It's the only way they can consistently learn to like things and being exposed to a variety of flavors is important. And I agree that kids should not get to say they don't like it (or be told they don't like, which is way worse) before trying it.
My UO (maybe): I get really, really upset when people who are picky/on a diet tell others they have a food allergy. I have an actual food allergy, and people not taking me seriously when I say that at dinner parties/restaurants is a direct result of people lying and claiming allergy just because they don't like something. Which puts me at risk of exposure because the assumption is that I'm also just lying. Doing that is not only shitty, it's dangerous for others. I can't tell you how many times I've heard of waiters being told that someone has a "serious allergy" only for that customer to turn around and "decide to cheat" with a scoop of ice cream or a piece of cake or whatever. If you don't like garlic, say you would prefer not to have garlic in your dish, not that you're allergic. Same goes for dairy, gluten, nuts, etc.
I would like to think that I have a decent sense of humor and I'm not a prude by any means but I don't get the point of April Fools Day. The pranks are either way overdone or are just done in such poor taste it's ridiculous. Such a stupid day.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@kdm06c The attempts I've seen from other people were always really stupid and obvious. And I loathe the people who joke about being pregnant. Not funny.
I would like to think that I have a decent sense of humor and I'm not a prude by any means but I don't get the point of April Fools Day. The pranks are either way overdone or are just done in such poor taste it's ridiculous. Such a stupid day.
I completely agree with you on this one. Can't wait to see how many people are "pregnant" tomorrow...
I would like to think that I have a decent sense of humor and I'm not a prude by any means but I don't get the point of April Fools Day. The pranks are either way overdone or are just done in such poor taste it's ridiculous. Such a stupid day.
I completely agree with you on this one. Can't wait to see how many people are "pregnant" tomorrow...
I freaking hate that!!! Especially because so many women suffer with infertility and losses. Fake pregnancy is not funny.
About FMLA. The closest thing to balancing that out that some districts have (and this may just be for teachers) is a sick leave bank. So you donate like 2 days a year and then if you're out of sick days, you can use some from the bank. Idk the limit though. And I'm told FMLA is 60 consecutive days and I'm definitely the type to take 59 and then just request leave un-consecutively as I want.
Just because I had to start the paper work for FMLA yesterday, if I use it and STD, I know in NH it's 12 weeks for FMLA, STD is 6 weeks for me and doesn't go into affect till I give birth vaginally, they didn't even give me info if I have a c-section which I'm assuming would just be the designated 8. I also only have 15 days to apply for FMLA to see if I get approved for it from yesterday when I started correspondence. I can only use FMLA if my doctor feels I need to and signs off on it. If I wanted to take time before my due date or when I give birth I have to use PTO. Not just take FMLA because I want to.
Yes about the fake pregnancy. On my last BMB we had a mom lose her baby due to an undetected heart defect. Now she is TTC and is struggling a bit. She is stepping away from all social media tomorrow because she knows insensitive asshats are going to pull that crap. Its ridiculous.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
It bothers me that peops feel the need to explain why they've edited their posts here as if it is shameful cause umm couldn't care less and yeah go for that edit... Am I missing something people?
It bothers me that peops feel the need to explain why they've edited their posts here as if it is shameful cause umm couldn't care less and yeah go for that edit... Am I missing something people?
I too am curious about this! Just never thought to ask. Or even who to ask for that matter.
haha, I sorta wonder the same thing... I think it's meant more to be if you go back and edit your initial response or the meaning of the post or too add to it... If I catch a typo in my post, I'll change it and usually don't say I've edited because no one needs to know that I can't type for shit
I also typically after a typo. I use Siri dictation a lot which is notoriously unreliable. Another reason for editing would be clarity. If you reread and figure out that what you initially wrote is confusing, it often helps to elaborate.
The reason that people do this on posts here is because the dirty delete is highly frowned upon. This is also why we have the quote function.
So basically, I always write what I have edited force that people don't think that I wrote something awful to someone and then changed it. Sadly, I have seen that happen more times than I can count.
***I am leaving the typos to show why I would edit. English isn't THAT hard, but dictation screws it up.
UO: I'm collecting colostrum for my newborn starting a few days ago. It seems to be a super unpopular thing to do around TB, but my midwife, doula, and lactation consultant all support it and it's actually been a big relief for the boobs and very much a confidence-builder for DH and I. He's a crazy supportive breastfeeding partner! Should anything go wrong and supplementing be recommended, we won't have to use formula. And yes I've read the controversial and inconclusive evidence about antenatal expressing inducing early labor, but the medical professionals I'm working with and I feel confident that it won't be an issue and I can safely continue. Also I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a crazy breastfeeding advocate- fair warning!
UO: I'm collecting colostrum for my newborn starting a few days ago. It seems to be a super unpopular thing to do around TB, but my midwife, doula, and lactation consultant all support it and it's actually been a big relief for the boobs and very much a confidence-builder for DH and I. He's a crazy supportive breastfeeding partner! Should anything go wrong and supplementing be recommended, we won't have to use formula. And yes I've read the controversial and inconclusive evidence about antenatal expressing inducing early labor, but the medical professionals I'm working with and I feel confident that it won't be an issue and I can safely continue. Also I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a crazy breastfeeding advocate- fair warning!
Related(ish) question: when is the "normal" time to start producing colostrum? As of 23+2, I don't think my breasts have produced anything yet.
I think it's tacky to ask friends to help them move. If they offer that's one thing, but not outright ask what they're doing on Saturday and if they can move your shit into a new place.
I'm not above bribery. Is that tacky? Like "JUST FYI anyone available to help us move Friday gets free beer and pizza. Just sayin. No pressure."
UO: I'm collecting colostrum for my newborn starting a few days ago. It seems to be a super unpopular thing to do around TB, but my midwife, doula, and lactation consultant all support it and it's actually been a big relief for the boobs and very much a confidence-builder for DH and I. He's a crazy supportive breastfeeding partner! Should anything go wrong and supplementing be recommended, we won't have to use formula. And yes I've read the controversial and inconclusive evidence about antenatal expressing inducing early labor, but the medical professionals I'm working with and I feel confident that it won't be an issue and I can safely continue. Also I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a crazy breastfeeding advocate- fair warning!
Related(ish) question: when is the "normal" time to start producing colostrum? As of 23+2, I don't think my breasts have produced anything yet.
I don't know what the normal time is but IF i'm in the bath or shower and put too much pressure or squeeze my nipples (don't ask why I'd do that okay?) a very small amount will come out. But it's not like it's leaking into my bra or anything. I don't know if it'd even be enough to pump.
I am moving next week and totally asked my brother and his roommate to help. We are supplying pizza and beer but I had no problem asking the two of them to assist my husband with the heavy stuff.
It bothers me that peops feel the need to explain why they've edited their posts here as if it is shameful cause umm couldn't care less and yeah go for that edit... Am I missing something people?
I have always wondered too!!! I edit mine because my auto type sucks and sometimes I'll send things off without carefully reading it. And then I'll catch a mistake and it will bug the crap out of me.
UO: I'm collecting colostrum for my newborn starting a few days ago. It seems to be a super unpopular thing to do around TB, but my midwife, doula, and lactation consultant all support it and it's actually been a big relief for the boobs and very much a confidence-builder for DH and I. He's a crazy supportive breastfeeding partner! Should anything go wrong and supplementing be recommended, we won't have to use formula. And yes I've read the controversial and inconclusive evidence about antenatal expressing inducing early labor, but the medical professionals I'm working with and I feel confident that it won't be an issue and I can safely continue. Also I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a crazy breastfeeding advocate- fair warning!
Related(ish) question: when is the "normal" time to start producing colostrum? As of 23+2, I don't think my breasts have produced anything yet.
I don't know what the normal time is but IF i'm in the bath or shower and put too much pressure or squeeze my nipples (don't ask why I'd do that okay?) a very small amount will come out. But it's not like it's leaking into my bra or anything. I don't know if it'd even be enough to pump.
I was instructed that colostrum will never be enough to pump and pumping is not recommended. We're talking mL of colostrum, not oz and I was told to only hand-express as long as it's comfortable and relieving. I make about a tablespoon a day, but I was making that regardless and just wiping it up before. Collecting it seems like a no-brainer to me if I'm getting it out anyway. My boobs feel itchy and achey and I get "lightening tits" and that's how I can tell it needs to come out- feels like a relief when I hand-express almost like how popping a zit is a relief. No idea if any of this is normal, but it's interesting and controversial!
Mostly because people like to edit out stupid, offensive shit they have said and then try to explain it off or pretend it never happened which isn't actually allowed here on da Bump.
Otherwise I like to say why I edited because normally what I said before didn't make a lick of fucking sense and I want to announce that I'm not actually stupid, just pregnant.
@noelietrex - I love the term 'lightening tits'; that's exactly how it feels when you experience letdown, too. So it's like a little warning that your boobs are going to start spurting milk everywhere .
I think it's tacky to ask friends to help them move. If they offer that's one thing, but not outright ask what they're doing on Saturday and if they can move your shit into a new place.
I'm not above bribery. Is that tacky? Like "JUST FYI anyone available to help us move Friday gets free beer and pizza. Just sayin. No pressure."
IMHO, totes different because you're not putting anyone on the spot to help or even answer.
I think it's tacky to ask friends to help them move. If they offer that's one thing, but not outright ask what they're doing on Saturday and if they can move your shit into a new place.
I'm not above bribery. Is that tacky? Like "JUST FYI anyone available to help us move Friday gets free beer and pizza. Just sayin. No pressure."
IMHO, totes different because you're not putting anyone on the spot to help or even answer.
@jlgriff11 ah got it. I get lulled into complacency by the periods of calm bumping and forget it's a big bad war o words out here. I promise any past edits were hey typo b/c yeah phone bumping is tricky...
I always provide pizza and soda when I move. I'm horrible at moving because it's typically into a new upstairs apartment. I make an awesome unpacker and supervisor. Lol
I don't think this will be an UO here but it was with my husband and I've gotten mixed reactions from my three closest friends I've told this to. But I do not want to tell the grandparents about the baby arriving until after he/she is born. I don't want to be bombarded with texts requesting updates nor do I want my husband to be. He says I'm being mean and the grandparents have a right to know when I go into labor. He says he will be the one fielding calls, but I told him I don't want him to be distracted either. I'm going to be trying to be doing this drug-free with just him. I don't want outside distractions. If I had it totally my way we would have no visitors at the hospital and a week or so after we get home. But I know I won't win that battle.
There is nothing wrong with this. The way I see it, you only get to enjoy your child's delivery experience once. I didn't want anyone there when I had DD, and even though I mentioned that plenty of times, several family members were still saying they "didnt care" and were going to be there anyway. We went in stealth mode, unlisted at the hospital. Although my grandma was in town for a layover and I was torn between letting her leave that next morning without meeting her first great-grandkid, or letting a few people know so they could keep her here until baby was born and they could meet. I worried my grandma would go home, something would happen, and she would never get to meet DD. Even only telling a few people, they were still sending messages to find out what stage of labor I was in. And although MH was dealing with the text....he was distracted. After 28 hours of rough labor and a c-section, MH told my mom, aunt and grandma to stay put until we told them they could come in (since I was in recovery and then had to be moved back to my room and everything). It was around 2am in the morning, when the nurse came in to tell me "you are unlisted, but there are three ladies here looking for you....." Seriously?! Because it is that hard to just give me a whole hour in the recovery room and come in when we told them it was okay?! I wanted to go back to my room and start some skin-to-skin time (since I hadn't been able to get it yet), and instead, I was wheeled into my room to see three people in there, who then wanted to do fourth generation pictures when I couldn't even keep my eyes open and was feeling miserable. No skin-to-skin ended up happening that night, because I totally passed out by the time they left after 3am.
This time, I am having a RCS. My cousin (who is the best secret keeper), is going to be watching DD. My IL's (also amazing secret keepers) will have our dog. Our RCS will be scheduled, but we will be lying and telling everyone it is two days after when it really is, and then afterwards playing the "oh...they had an opening" card. I am delivering at a hospital further away (for a couple of reasons), and nobody else will be told. Our phones will be off, we will have the baby, I will do whatever bonding time I want with baby, my cousin will come in with DD to meet the baby...and spend as much time with him/her as she wants. IL's will get to come in next, since they were very patient and waited to visit when it came to DD. After that, we will tell everyone that the baby has arrived after we are ready for visitors. I want all of the things I didn't get with DD, to happen with this baby.
The grandparents don't have a "right" to know. If they have a "right" to know, then they had a right to know when you guys were having sex, and every other tidbit of your conception and pregnancy. And since they don't have a right to know about that, they don't have a right to know when you are pushing a baby out of your vagina. I think that a lot of men have their head in the clouds and are caught up in the excitement, when and in the process they are pushing aside the fact that their wife/spouse will be pretty much feeling like she was just drug behind a bus for 5 miles.
Let me preface this with I work in a restaurant and have a 9 year old daughter.
I totally side eye and judge parents that tell their kid(s) "you won't like that" when it comes to trying new foods. As a foodie and someone that has always fed my daughter everything we eat, and made sure to feed her the foods that we don't personally enjoy so she could try them, this infuriates me. Let the bambino decide what they do and don't like.
Even if they didn't like it once, doesn't mean they won't like it this time or next time. Science shows that it can take several exposures to a food to develop a taste for it.
Edited to add some clarification. Edited x 2 because I can't spell. I'm going back to bed.
I 100% agree with you. I feel the same way, I always have my kids try everything. On the other hand though, I guess I could understand a parent not wanting to waste their money on something they know their kids not going to eat. Other then that, I am a also a foodie and work at a restaurant and can totally understand what you are saying.:)
I won't be friends with picky eaters. We will just have nothing to talk about. Sorrynotsorry
DH was arguing with me about having GPIL waiting in the waiting room. I told him absouletly not. They can come meet the baby after I'm settled at home recovering from my repeat CS. He told me he was just going to invite them then. I told him that then I wasn't going to tell him when I'm having this baby and I'll have my sister take me. He will come home one day and I'll be home with the baby. He shut up really quick.
Also, all people not present at the birth (me, husband, birth professionals) will find out after the baby is born and we're ready to share. Mums the word when I go into labor.
While I think that FMLA or the state equivalent for smaller businesses is a good idea, I am completely fine with people not getting paid maternity leave in this country. I think it is a great thing for large companies to be able to do though. I decided to have a baby and I don't expect the tax paying public to underwrite the cost of my leave. Sorry, not sorry.
And no, I don't get any paid maternity leave myself.
I'll take my year of paid leave and not feel one bit of guilt for taxes helping me stay home! But as others have mentioned, with the Canadian system it's money back that we've paid in. I've worked many years paying into EI and the only time I've ever used it is for DD and upcoming for this baby. I don't get the "top up" (employer paid) this time because I'm not a permanent employee, but I got that last time and it was awesome. I was making almost 100% of my wages for the first 5 months until we moved and I had to quit my job.
I believe in unemployment pay and disability/short term disability. I also believe in family sick leave. I just don't believe that maternity/paternity leave should be taxpayer funded as (unlike being ill or laid off) pregnancy is a choice in almost all cases. I also feel very strongly that whatever a company or the government grants to mothers should also be granted to fathers and same-sex couples adopting.
I agree that FMLA falls short in protecting the jobs of people in companies with less than 50 people. I hope that States work on protecting employees not covered under FMLA.
I know it is an UO.
Totally agree with the bolded! In Canada this is included. DH could have taken a full year with DD, and actually would have gotten better coverage from his employer than me (he would have been topped up to almost 100% his usual wages for the entire year, my employer topped up to 80ish% for part of the leave, then just the EI for the rest which I think is about 60% of usual wages but I can't remember for sure). The only catch is that whatever time he took off was subtracted from mine, so we couldn't both take a year. We could stagger leaves, take shorter length leave together, or one of us could take the full leave. Ultimately we could manage with the pay cut and I wanted to be home more and was breastfeeding, so he didn't take any leave.
There is also adoption parental leave and I believe it's equivalent in benefits and length to maternity/paternity leave.
Employers are required to hold the job for a year, but not required to top up the EI. Whether there's a top up varies from employer to employer. DH and I are both union and most union jobs do have the top up I believe.
Re: UO Thursday
Also I agree that kids need to be exposed to A LOT of different foods, prepared different ways, many times. It's the only way they can consistently learn to like things and being exposed to a variety of flavors is important. And I agree that kids should not get to say they don't like it (or be told they don't like, which is way worse) before trying it.
My UO (maybe): I get really, really upset when people who are picky/on a diet tell others they have a food allergy. I have an actual food allergy, and people not taking me seriously when I say that at dinner parties/restaurants is a direct result of people lying and claiming allergy just because they don't like something. Which puts me at risk of exposure because the assumption is that I'm also just lying. Doing that is not only shitty, it's dangerous for others. I can't tell you how many times I've heard of waiters being told that someone has a "serious allergy" only for that customer to turn around and "decide to cheat" with a scoop of ice cream or a piece of cake or whatever. If you don't like garlic, say you would prefer not to have garlic in your dish, not that you're allergic. Same goes for dairy, gluten, nuts, etc.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Yes about the fake pregnancy. On my last BMB we had a mom lose her baby due to an undetected heart defect. Now she is TTC and is struggling a bit. She is stepping away from all social media tomorrow because she knows insensitive asshats are going to pull that crap. Its ridiculous.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
This is what my husband is doing at work tomorrow for April Fools. THIS is funny, fake pregnancy is not.
haha, I sorta wonder the same thing... I think it's meant more to be if you go back and edit your initial response or the meaning of the post or too add to it... If I catch a typo in my post, I'll change it and usually don't say I've edited because no one needs to know that I can't type for shit
So basically, I always write what I have edited force that people don't think that I wrote something awful to someone and then changed it. Sadly, I have seen that happen more times than I can count.
***I am leaving the typos to show why I would edit. English isn't THAT hard, but dictation screws it up.
I don't know what the normal time is but IF i'm in the bath or shower and put too much pressure or squeeze my nipples (don't ask why I'd do that okay?) a very small amount will come out. But it's not like it's leaking into my bra or anything. I don't know if it'd even be enough to pump.
July16 JULY siggy challenge
Otherwise I like to say why I edited because normally what I said before didn't make a lick of fucking sense and I want to announce that I'm not actually stupid, just pregnant.
DD #2: EDD July 2016
This time, I am having a RCS. My cousin (who is the best secret keeper), is going to be watching DD. My IL's (also amazing secret keepers) will have our dog. Our RCS will be scheduled, but we will be lying and telling everyone it is two days after when it really is, and then afterwards playing the "oh...they had an opening" card. I am delivering at a hospital further away (for a couple of reasons), and nobody else will be told. Our phones will be off, we will have the baby, I will do whatever bonding time I want with baby, my cousin will come in with DD to meet the baby...and spend as much time with him/her as she wants. IL's will get to come in next, since they were very patient and waited to visit when it came to DD. After that, we will tell everyone that the baby has arrived after we are ready for visitors. I want all of the things I didn't get with DD, to happen with this baby.
The grandparents don't have a "right" to know. If they have a "right" to know, then they had a right to know when you guys were having sex, and every other tidbit of your conception and pregnancy. And since they don't have a right to know about that, they don't have a right to know when you are pushing a baby out of your vagina. I think that a lot of men have their head in the clouds and are caught up in the excitement, when and in the process they are pushing aside the fact that their wife/spouse will be pretty much feeling like she was just drug behind a bus for 5 miles.
DH was arguing with me about having GPIL waiting in the waiting room. I told him absouletly not. They can come meet the baby after I'm settled at home recovering from my repeat CS. He told me he was just going to invite them then. I told him that then I wasn't going to tell him when I'm having this baby and I'll have my sister take me. He will come home one day and I'll be home with the baby. He shut up really quick.
Also, all people not present at the birth (me, husband, birth professionals) will find out after the baby is born and we're ready to share. Mums the word when I go into labor.
There is also adoption parental leave and I believe it's equivalent in benefits and length to maternity/paternity leave.
Employers are required to hold the job for a year, but not required to top up the EI. Whether there's a top up varies from employer to employer. DH and I are both union and most union jobs do have the top up I believe.