July 2016 Moms

Every little thing scares me

hello ladies, I'm new to this app..anyway I'm a 32 yr FTM 22 weeks along with a boy. I'm so terrified something bad will happen. I have been having cramps and whenever I get another symptom I think the worst. I constantly look up things on the Internet and all that! I'm always thinking something is wrong. I'm driving my DH nuts as well as my mother and Drs. So far I had every appt every US go normal. My LO is right on track. Except during anatomy they couldn't see his heart right and they need more pics of it and of course I think they are lying and something is wrong and they don't want to scare me!!  Now my problem is because it took me forever to get pregnant that it scares me that this baby is my one and only chance to be the mom I always wanted to be. I keep thinking something is going to happen weather it be I go into labor super early, or something is wrong with him or something with the placenta. Uggg idk!! I'm going nuts!! Idk what my problem is. I'm already a worry wart and I feel pregnancy made it 1000000x worse!! I went out at 20 weeks to buy clothes for him and the entire time I was thinking horrible things!! I couldn't enjoy it! I can't enjoy anything about this pregnancy bc of my mind!! Idk if anyone else feels this way or not but please someone help me! And I know the mind is a crazy thing , mayb I'm making myself crampy and all that I'm feeling..but it's hard to believe bc il be sitting here watching tv and I get cramps. Uggg like I said I need help!! 

Re: Every little thing scares me

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  • Thank you for your response..I suffered from anxiety for 15 years and since pregnancy I had to stop taking my medicine. I think that might be part of the problem, but I do not want to be on medicine forever. Also yes I need someone to talk to bc this isn't normal I feel..who thinks all this bad when you should be happy?? I need coping skills and other tools to help me thru this and the next 18 years lol .
  • I have had mild anxiety for 15 years. I was on a medication called tegretol and celexa but as soon as I found out I was pregnant being that I wanted this baby so bad I stopped it immediately. My dr told me it could give baby defects but if the anxiety is so bad the Benifit of the med for me out weigh the bad. I will not take that. I really need to talk to my husband or my dr more about this..my husband just thinks I'm crazy and a hypercondriac (long word lol) and to stop thinking bad. Easy to say when your the one not carrying baby and get to continue life normal. Whenever I think of bad things I say a Hail Mary and try and put my mind on something else but it always comes back. I just need to see a therepist bc this is consuming my life.anxiety is no joke! 
  • Hello and welcome!
    *TW-Brief mention of miscarriage

    I'm also extremely anxious and nervous due to my miscarriage. I found this community to be very supportive and has eased my anxiety a lot. I have recommended before and I will recommend to you that pregnancy affirmations have really helped me relax.  Here is a link to some: https://www.thehealthybelly.com/healthy_body.php?sub_tab_id=13
    Also, I've been practicing the secret daily and attempting to do a few minutes of meditation. It has helped me find peace and serenity. I also worried and cried about not being able to enjoy this pregnancy because I'm constantly worried. It's something I deal with day by day. Just don't be so hard on yourself and remember to be kind to yourself :)

    Pregnancy Ticker

    July16 JULY siggy challenge



  • Totally agree with PP- just wanted to add: I also need to go back for more heart views because my little girl wouldn't move in a way which they could get all of the photos they needed. It's common and doesn't mean anything is wrong at all. 4 weeks is a lot of development and makes it easier to see more (that's how long between my a/s and follow up). As an anxiety sufferer myself- I urge you not to worry until you have a reason. 
  • Welcome! 

    Some degree of worrying is normal, but it sounds like your anxiety is impairing you a bit. I think you should talk to a therapist about this. They can help you to restructure your thoughts, tell you to set aside some time to worry, and help you manage the anxiety with out meds! 

    In the meantime, stay away from Dr. Google. He is evil. When you have cramps (without blood), lightning crotch, and RLP, just remeber that those are all normal things in pregnancy. Think about symptoms and give them a realistic reason WHY they are happening. There are soooo many changes happening in your body, it is unrealistic to think that there wouldn't be times that you are uncomfortable. 

    Good luck! 
  • I'll also add that since you're now out of first trimester, some medications that carry potential risks are safe now that you're in second trimester. Talk with you doctor about any meds you can take. There are LOTS of women on this board that are considered high-risk with other medical problems and are taking Class C medications (me being one of them). My high-risk OB even shared with me that he has patients that are taking Class D meds. There may be some options for you. Don't feel bad or ashamed about having to take medications for a mental illness...it's no different than the medication I have to take to breathe better.
  • Welcome! I'll jump on the worry and anxiety boat. It's hard not to worry about everything, especially since we know SO MUCH about what's possible. But like PP have said that worry will extend to our kids for the rest of our lives, no matter whether they're inside our bodies or across the country. We need to find a way to manage it now. I've also had a lot of success with my therapist, it's really helpful to have someone to talk to that can give me tools for coping with the stress and anxiety. And I try to stay away from Google, and when I need to, some of the loss/problem threads here. Take in as much as you can handle, and allow yourself to step away when you need to.

  • Anxiety and GAD are real. I agree that you need a good therapist to help with your coping skills. Also, a Dr can not lie to you. It is unethical and he can lose his license/job. Trust me, your Dr will tell you if they are worried or concerned.

    Also, stay away from google. Most of that information is wrong or not by medical professionals. 
    Thank God for Raid.

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  • I had a lot to say when I was first reading your post, but all the previous posters have hit the nail on the head. 

    I as as well struggle with severe anxiety and panic attacks. I honestly didn't know how I was going to make it through the pregnancy. 

    Once it started interfering with my day to day life I called a doctor right away. I am back on Zoloft, weekly therapy with a counselor and nightly meditation. 

    I feel like I have my life back. It's been 3 weeks and already feel sooooo much better. 

    There is is no reason to sit in the sickness of mental health. We are so fortunate in this time of age to have rescouces. Take advantage of them so you can get your life back. Xo ! 


  • Welcome!! 

    I agree with all PPs..

    I also deal with anxiety and almost always assume the worst. At every single one of my appointments whether it's an ultrasound or the fetal Doppler the anticipation of waiting to hear the heartbeat causes instant tears of relief. It is 100% normal to feel anxiety just try to not let it consume you and if it is consuming you don't hesitate to reach out to someone to help you.

     Definitely do not worry about about needing more pictures of the heart. Our babies heart in this stage is only the size of an adult fingernail (I was told by my doctor) so If baby isn't in the ideal position it is hard for them to be able to see all four chambers along with everything else they need to check for. Therefore it is extremely common to need an additional ultrasound.

  • I just want to say that I too suffer with extreme anxiety along with depression. It's horrible and I really feel for you. I think the other ladies had great suggestions and I just wanted to add that I joined a facebook anxiety group for pregnant and postpartum women really helped me as well. It was a great support and someone is usually there instantly to talk with who understands what you are going through. And get a plan ready with your doctor sooner than later so you are prepared for after the baby is here and have the support you may need. I know lack of rest is a huge trigger for me so it's good to have meals prepared ahead of time, books, movies, things to do outside the house ect. Planning for those things, making lists, cooking freezer meals, checking out local moms groups, are great things to keep your mind focused on all the positive things you have to look forward to when your little one gets here.
    Mom to Emma, Noah, Isaac, Asa, Asher, Jonah and expecting baby Alice 7/16


     



  • When I went for my anatomy scan the radiologist looked everything over before I was sent home and said everything looked fine. Then I met with my doctor a day later and asked again because I didn't think the radiologist was actually allowed to tell me if there was anything to be worried about. My doctor informed me that, no, they definitely would have told me there. I'm a FTM too so I really didn't know what to expect. Don't worry! If they said everything is fine and just need more pictures it's the truth! 
    I don't suffer from anxiety myself, but I have family that does. A regular exercise routine and regularly speaking with a therapist really helps them. I really do hope you see someone so you can relax and enjoy this pregnancy like you deserve! So much congrats to you!! You deserve to be so happy about this 
  • I've suffered from anxiety disorders my entire adult life, so I totally know where you're coming from.
    Also, many doctors had told me multiple times that my chances of getting pregnant were slim to none, but here I am today 20 weeks and 3 days along with only the help from mother nature! I had ALOT of anxiety during my first trimester but the women on this site and their advice have helped me feel so much stronger and empowered!
    I just keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason and that my body was designed to do this. I try not to stress myself out too much these days but if it becomes unbearable I would seek some advice/help from a professional or at least my mommy lol
    YOU GOT THIS GIRL! 
    <3

  • I highly recommend finding some coping mechanisms that work for you. In my experience with my own anxiety, meditation, yoga, 4/8 breathing, and mindful doodling (zentangling) have been really helpful ways to cope when I feel like I need go regain some control. This is a stressful and emotional time, especially when you have a history of anxiety! Just try to remember that self-care is especially important right now! 

    Good luck and we hope to see you on the board! 
  • I'll also add that since you're now out of first trimester, some medications that carry potential risks are safe now that you're in second trimester. Talk with you doctor about any meds you can take. There are LOTS of women on this board that are considered high-risk with other medical problems and are taking Class C medications (me being one of them). My high-risk OB even shared with me that he has patients that are taking Class D meds. There may be some options for you. Don't feel bad or ashamed about having to take medications for a mental illness...it's no different than the medication I have to take to breathe better.
    Yes to this so much! If the benefits outweigh any negatives then take the meds. Especially if your doc recommended it. I take steroids for my back, if I didn't I couldn't function. If you can't function because of anxiety it seems like a not brainer to me to take the meds. 
  • Taymiller said:
    I'll also add that since you're now out of first trimester, some medications that carry potential risks are safe now that you're in second trimester. Talk with you doctor about any meds you can take. There are LOTS of women on this board that are considered high-risk with other medical problems and are taking Class C medications (me being one of them). My high-risk OB even shared with me that he has patients that are taking Class D meds. There may be some options for you. Don't feel bad or ashamed about having to take medications for a mental illness...it's no different than the medication I have to take to breathe better.
    Yes to this so much! If the benefits outweigh any negatives then take the meds. Especially if your doc recommended it. I take steroids for my back, if I didn't I couldn't function. If you can't function because of anxiety it seems like a not brainer to me to take the meds. 
    ^^^WSS. Therapy and meds if recommended. It is important for you both to be healthy and since baby is already formed, the risk of birth defects from certain anti-anxiety meds (which can be a fraction of a % from day 1) have now passed. 
  • Welcome!
    I agree with all the PPs. While I no longer suffer from depression, my GAD likes to poke it's head in my brain every now and then, to which I tell it off. One of my best friends however had very, very bad anxiety and depression during her pregnancy. It took a lot of coaxing from me and family to get her to speak up to her doctor so she could get the help she needed. Yes, the medication she took was Class C, but she ended up delivering a beautiful baby boy. He is healthy and happy, and most importantly she is happy.
  • Thanks for the update and very happy to hear that you're getting the support you need!! That's awesome :)
  • I get anxious when I no longer have control over things in my life.... 

    With the pregnancy, since I have no hands on control over how the baby will look or how it's developing, I get very scared and anxious because I can't really prepare for it and ease my mind!!!! Argh!!
  • Nzamorw said:
    I get anxious when I no longer have control over things in my life.... 

    With the pregnancy, since I have no hands on control over how the baby will look or how it's developing, I get very scared and anxious because I can't really prepare for it and ease my mind!!!! Argh!!
    I seriously thought you didn't have hands for a second and was like well that's a very good reason to have anxiety 
  • Maybe I should have put a hyphen there ... HAHHAHA that made me laugh @PinkLady2015
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