Did you guys hear about this? Jamie Oliver has taken it upon himself to mansplain that women need to breastfeed more. Here's his quote: “It’s easy, it’s more convenient, it’s more nutritious, it’s better, it’s free.” Easy? EASY? EASY? I have a few choice words for Mr. Oliver, and none of them are allowed on here. I don't know if any of you are struggling, but don't let the die-hards brainwash you. It's freaking hard. Like--the hardest thing I've ever done. We are so force-fed hype about breastfeeding that we can't see the forest for the trees. I'm so glad I tried to breastfeed--and stuck it out as long as I could. Here's the thing, though. Every situation is different. With mine? My LO had an undiagnosed tongue tie for several weeks. The first few days home she lost a pound and a half, because she was getting nothing from me. We ended up in the hospital with a dangerously dehydrated baby. All because I doubted myself, and my own instincts. I had been told over and over not to introduce a bottle for the first month--from our lactation consultant. Our doctor took one look at our daughter and insisted that we bottle feed until we figured out what the problem was. The issue was, though, that I could pump for an hour straight, and couldn't even get a half-ounce. That's an hour I can't spend with my daughter, or my husband, or my three stepsons. My daughter never did latch properly (again, our LC only had one method, and wasn't helpful.) 5 1/2 weeks in, I was still only getting a pittance and pumping for ridiculous amounts of time. Probably half of my waking time was being strapped to a pump. I had to return to work the next week, and I was sobbing on the couch--how was I supposed to do all this pumping when I was spending 8 hours away from my baby? Also, I just hated it. We were still trying to latch, and she was getting angry, I was bleeding. I. Just. Hated. It. Honestly, my LO and I were bonding better with that bottle than we were with her screaming at me in frustration, and me crying because I couldn't give her what she needed.
What am I getting at here? If you're breastfeeding, and it's glorious, good for you. But if you've tried everything, and are discouraged, and you want to quit--that's ok, too. Don't let anyone shame you into doing something that makes both you and LO miserable. I had so much guilt, guys. My husband finally asked if she was being nourished enough by formula, and if I felt bonded to her when bottle feeding. When I said yes, he then said that it was OK if I wanted to quit. (He would have supported me forever, and yes, I don't need his permission, but it felt nice to hear it.) When I expressed concern about the cost of formula, he told me that the cost of my being stressed and guilty all the time far outweighed the monetary cost.
I've said this in other post, but I'm saying it again. What you find that works for you, is RIGHT for you and LO. No matter what the "experts" say.
Can i throat punch him?!?! As a chef i want to say thay most celebrity chefs are pretentious and i haaaate it! And until you have attempted to breast feed, shut the hell up. It is not easy. As long as baby and mom are happy and healthy that's all that matters.
I can't even explain how many times I cried when we first came home at how difficult breastfeeding is. My DH and I took a class and they just didn't prep us at all for how extremely hard the first few days are and beyond. The LC at the hospital made me feel like I would be top fail mom of the year if we tried a pacifier with LO (she would insist on sleeping with my boob in her mouth, I was so sore and sleep deprived). I trusted my instinct and gave her one. I would have given up breastfeeding before the first week was over if I hadn't given the binky. It's incredible how the people who are supposed to help can make us feel guilty, then a male celebrity feels the need to chime in. I've had male in-laws give me the same shpeel Oliver dished out. I mean, what gives a man any right to say something is easy when they will literally never experience the process?
I am still breastfeeding (mainly exclusively pumping) and "easy and convenient" is not the word I would use. I leak constantly and need to be wearing breastpads 24/7. I feel like all of my clothes, my couch and more are covered in breastmilk. It makes me feel disgusted with myself. My boobs hurt (from pumping and let down). I feel chained to a pump (or washing and sterilizing pump parts). I feel guilty when the baby actually sleeps and I oversleep the time I should pump lest I hurt supply. I'm done at 6 months. And I know according to experts my baby will never graduate from Harvard or lead a fulfilled life unless I exclusively breastfeed for at least year. But then again I'm still on maternity leave, maybe the "easy, convenient" part happens when I go back to work?
Why can't our culture just lift moms up? We're all doing our best and that's what is best for baby.
Yeah, a lot of the breastfeeding hype really disregards the needs and well-being of women. Breastfeeding is only free and easy if women's time and desires are worth nothing. I can imagine it certainly would be convenient for Jamie Oliver to have his baby fed in a way that requires absolutely nothing of him, though.
Besides what PP have said, breast milk is definitely NOT free. Sure, you might not pay $19/can for it but it sure as hell isnt free. Some hidden costs of breast milk: increased appetite of mom (approximately $10/week for extra meat, produce, dairy to keep up supply), time spent pumping and cleaning parts (conservatively 4hrs/day at minimum wage $7.25 is $29/day, $203/week), and mental health of mom ($0-$100s depending on co-pay amount). Breast feeding is hard work and by calling it "free" makes the value of a woman's time worthless. It's ridiculous. Women have worth.
I feel like all of my clothes, my couch and more are covered in breastmilk.
Yes, me too!
Easy?!?!?! That pisses me off. I'm in a great place with breastfeeding now, but I spent weeks crying and in horrible pain (bleeding, chapped, plugged ducts, and had thrush) while trying different things to make it work. Breastfeeding is HARD.
Unless you have breastfeed a baby you don't get an opinion of how "easy, convenient and free" it is. I had a friend whose never had kids get all judgemental with me when she found out I stopped BFing my daughter early on. Unless you've done it you don't get to sit on a high horse and talk about how much better it is and how you'll exclusively breastfeed for the first 6months and blah blah blah. men who push a breastfeeding agenda on new moms can suck it too. Its easy to push breast is best until you are experiencing pain, depression, anxiety, etc. as a result of breastfeeding. Breast is only best if it works best for mama and baby, the mothers health and wellbeing (including mental health) is valuable too.
Unless you have breastfeed a baby you don't get an opinion of how "easy, convenient and free" it is. I had a friend whose never had kids get all judgemental with me when she found out I stopped BFing my daughter early on. Unless you've done it you don't get to sit on a high horse and talk about how much better it is and how you'll exclusively breastfeed for the first 6months and blah blah blah. men who push a breastfeeding agenda on new moms can suck it too. Its easy to push breast is best until you are experiencing pain, depression, anxiety, etc. as a result of breastfeeding. Breast is only best if it works best for mama and baby, the mothers health and wellbeing (including mental health) is valuable too.
Even if you HAVE breastfed, it doesn't give you permission to judge anyone else! Every situation is different. How many times did we all hear, "Nothing in pregnancy is normal," meaning it's different for everyone!
I have been lucky enough with this baby to be able to breastfeed, but with my first, we had latching issues, thrush, constant plugging, and he bit from day one. I was in massive amounts of pain, he was not happy, and eventually it all became too much. I exclusively pumped for my first son and when I brought out the pump the very first time I cried my head off. The guilt, anxiety, stress and everything made me question my ability to be a mother and whether I should just leave my new son and husband since they would be better off without me. Depression is a hell of a thing. I ended up getting the odd comment about what was in the bottles ("That's pumped milk, right?") and the only thing I could think was "is that really any of your damn business?" I worked hard to pump enough milk for my son. I worked hard to maintain supply. I worked damn hard to do what I felt was best for my son. In no way does ANYONE get to judge me. In some ways, pumping was easier. I could let someone else feed him while I ate or bathed. In some ways, it was awful. I didn't feel like I was capable of properly caring for my son, and I felt like a dairy cow while I tried. Now with this baby we are managing to make breastfeeding work, but it is WORK. No one else can feed him. No one else can soothe him. It hurts to watch my husband run around the house with our first son while I'm stuck in a chair feeding because son #2 is cluster feeding again and my boobs are running low. It's stressful to not know how much my son is eating. It's lonely to go to my parent's house or my in-law's and have to hang out by myself in a back room to feed him because he hates a cover and I'm overly modest. Easy? Convenient? Cheap? These are not words that can EVER be applied to children.
It is definitely not easy OR free and that's precisely why my son is formula fed now. I mean, I also had postpartum depression/anxiety that went unchecked for a week and I thought I was going to go insane unless I went on medication. But, I mean that's a small detail, right?
And hats off to women who push through and continue to breastfeed because it's SO hard.
Vincent 1.1.16 & Daniel 11.6.07
In Memory of Barbara , beloved mother and grandmother
I just feel constantly disgusting and damp, even with using breast pads. I get out of the shower and the first thing I notice is a trickle of breast milk running down both sides of my body.
I literally couldn't care less how anyone feeds their baby. How is that anyone's business but the mother and the baby.
I would like to add you ladies that pump and feed your babies are my heroes because I breastfeed and dread pumping. I truly don't think I could EP.
Secondly moms that breast and formula feed their babies are also my heroes because this mom thing is hard and we're all awesome. We literally grew a human. Still so crazy to me lol
@kaym6 I'm with you! Pumping sucks. Its so awkward. I feel like a damn cow lol. All moms rock! I look at my daughter all time and I'm like "I grew this. Holy sh**."
Breastfeeding is hard. I'm still hanging in there despite a difficuky start, she had latch issues. It hurt so bad in the beginning. I still have low supply & I have to supplement with formula sometimes. I totally see why people stop. I've had times I've considered it. I think it should be states clearly by lactation classes & consultants that it's hard instead of trying to sell women this fantasy that it should be easy & painless.
I will admit I think I was a little judgy about breastfeeding before having my little one, but holy sh!t is it hard. We had latching issues, tongue tied, poor oral tone, low supply, lost 13% of birth weight and took a month to get back to birth weight. Still having to supplement 6 oz of formula a day despite being on a pretty high dose of Domperidone, fenugreek, power pumping, oatmeal and enough brewer's yeast that my urine is now a microbrew IPA. I was so proud that we were down to so little supplementation when I got a condescending comment from my breastfeeding group about how I just need to pump more and let her cluster feed and I wouldn't need to supplement. Yeah, screw off lady, you don't know what I've been through or my kid.
Me: 35, Hubbie: 33 Married DH: 2013 DD: Dec 2015 BFP 8/14/17 --> Due 4/27/2018
I will admit I think I was a little judgy about breastfeeding before having my little one, but holy sh!t is it hard. We had latching issues, tongue tied, poor oral tone, low supply, lost 13% of birth weight and took a month to get back to birth weight. Still having to supplement 6 oz of formula a day despite being on a pretty high dose of Domperidone, fenugreek, power pumping, oatmeal and enough brewer's yeast that my urine is now a microbrew IPA. I was so proud that we were down to so little supplementation when I got a condescending comment from my breastfeeding group about how I just need to pump more and let her cluster feed and I wouldn't need to supplement. Yeah, screw off lady, you don't know what I've been through or my kid.
Before I delivered, one of my friends said something along the line of, "Don't let those La Leche nazis push you around." (Disclaimer: The La Leche League does great things. However, there are a lot of unsupervised and unqualified people giving their opinion.) We had a problem about 5 weeks in, where our LO was having MAJOR stomach issues, and we had just begun paced feeds. I put a line out to see if the two could be related, mentioning that the doctor had suggested Gripe Water, and that we had been using it. No answers to my actual question. Just aggressive links about how horrible you were if you were supplementing anything at all--even doctor directed. I think that was the point where I threw my hands up and said I was done. I made it to 6 weeks, and I'm impressed with that.
My LO is 12 weeks now and he's eating breast milk exclusively. I both BF and he eats from a bottle at times. Being 100% honest, I hate breastfeeding. It's awful, and truly so hard. One of the hardest things I've dealt with, without a doubt. When he was born he was tongue tied and the Dr did not want to clip it right away. So we went about a week attempting to get him to latch, and when he did latch I was in excruciating pain and I would wait until I couldn't take it anymore and I'd take him off the breast and then self express onto a spoon and spoon feed him. It was terrible. After my milk came in, I thought I'd down myself. I know it's a blessing at the same time to have a good milk supply, but that comes with its own headaches too. I'm constantly wearing nursing pads, I soak through the pads regularly, I soak through my bras and clothes and onto my couch, recliner, and bed. It makes me feel dirty in a way. I always have milk on me. My let downs are almost always too strong for my baby and that causes him to choke..I often pump some before or during a feeding. I've dealt with clogged ducts throughout the entire time. Which are so so painful. There are times my breasts feel like rocks. I'm still not comfortable with feeding or pumping in public, which I hate, so if we're going out I always bring a bottle. I'm so sick of women being shamed for breastfeeding in public, but then you turn around and your shamed for feeding them formula. I understand problems with BF from the other side too. When my sister had her son, her milk never really came in. She would pump hours a day and get a couple ounces. But she felt so much pressure to do what was "right", she tried and tried and tried for weeks. And I saw how hard that was on her and how disappointed and ashamed of herself. It was terrible. Like a PP said, fed is best. BF is not easy. It's not convenient. And it is definitely not free. It is hard for everyone, hopefully there are times where it's easier, but sometimes there aren't. It is not for everyone. And that is ok. Just feed your baby. Whatever works for you and your child.
Re: Breastfeeding is hard, and Jamie Oliver can suck it.
I am still breastfeeding (mainly exclusively pumping) and "easy and convenient" is not the word I would use. I leak constantly and need to be wearing breastpads 24/7. I feel like all of my clothes, my couch and more are covered in breastmilk. It makes me feel disgusted with myself. My boobs hurt (from pumping and let down). I feel chained to a pump (or washing and sterilizing pump parts). I feel guilty when the baby actually sleeps and I oversleep the time I should pump lest I hurt supply. I'm done at 6 months. And I know according to experts my baby will never graduate from Harvard or lead a fulfilled life unless I exclusively breastfeed for at least year. But then again I'm still on maternity leave, maybe the "easy, convenient" part happens when I go back to work?
Why can't our culture just lift moms up? We're all doing our best and that's what is best for baby.
Easy?!?!?! That pisses me off. I'm in a great place with breastfeeding now, but I spent weeks crying and in horrible pain (bleeding, chapped, plugged ducts, and had thrush) while trying different things to make it work. Breastfeeding is HARD.
Sorry for the novel, apparently I needed to rant.
And hats off to women who push through and continue to breastfeed because it's SO hard.
I would like to add you ladies that pump and feed your babies are my heroes because I breastfeed and dread pumping. I truly don't think I could EP.
Secondly moms that breast and formula feed their babies are also my heroes because this mom thing is hard and we're all awesome. We literally grew a human. Still so crazy to me lol
Married DH: 2013
DD: Dec 2015
BFP 8/14/17 --> Due 4/27/2018
We had a problem about 5 weeks in, where our LO was having MAJOR stomach issues, and we had just begun paced feeds. I put a line out to see if the two could be related, mentioning that the doctor had suggested Gripe Water, and that we had been using it.
No answers to my actual question. Just aggressive links about how horrible you were if you were supplementing anything at all--even doctor directed. I think that was the point where I threw my hands up and said I was done.
I made it to 6 weeks, and I'm impressed with that.