January 2016 Moms

Breastfeeding is hard, and Jamie Oliver can suck it.

Did you guys hear about this? Jamie Oliver has taken it upon himself to mansplain that women need to breastfeed more. Here's his quote: “It’s easy, it’s more convenient, it’s more nutritious, it’s better, it’s free.”
Easy? EASY? EASY?
I have a few choice words for Mr. Oliver, and none of them are allowed on here.
I don't know if any of you are struggling, but don't let the die-hards brainwash you. It's freaking hard. Like--the hardest thing I've ever done.
We are so force-fed hype about breastfeeding that we can't see the forest for the trees. 
I'm so glad I tried to breastfeed--and stuck it out as long as I could. Here's the thing, though. Every situation is different. With mine? My LO had an undiagnosed tongue tie for several weeks. The first few days home she lost a pound and a half, because she was getting nothing from me. We ended up in the hospital with a dangerously dehydrated baby. All because I doubted myself, and my own instincts. I had been told over and over not to introduce a bottle for the first month--from our lactation consultant. Our doctor took one look at our daughter and insisted that we bottle feed until we figured out what the problem was. The issue was, though, that I could pump for an hour straight, and couldn't even get a half-ounce. That's an hour I can't spend with my daughter, or my husband, or my three stepsons. My daughter never did latch properly (again, our LC only had one method, and wasn't helpful.) 5 1/2 weeks in, I was still only getting a pittance and pumping for ridiculous amounts of time. Probably half of my waking time was being strapped to a pump. I had to return to work the next week, and I was sobbing on the couch--how was I supposed to do all this pumping when I was spending 8 hours away from my baby? Also, I just hated it. We were still trying to latch, and she was getting angry, I was bleeding. I. Just. Hated. It. Honestly, my LO and I were bonding better with that bottle than we were with her screaming at me in frustration, and me crying because I couldn't give her what she needed.

What am I getting at here? If you're breastfeeding, and it's glorious, good for you. But if you've tried everything, and are discouraged, and you want to quit--that's ok, too. Don't let anyone shame you into doing something that makes both you and LO miserable. I had so much guilt, guys. My husband finally asked if she was being nourished enough by formula, and if I felt bonded to her when bottle feeding. When I said yes, he then said that it was OK if I wanted to quit. (He would have supported me forever, and yes, I don't need his permission, but it felt nice to hear it.) When I expressed concern about the cost of formula, he told me that the cost of my being stressed and guilty all the time far outweighed the monetary cost.

I've said this in other post, but I'm saying it again.
What you find that works for you, is RIGHT for you and LO. No matter what the "experts" say. 

Re: Breastfeeding is hard, and Jamie Oliver can suck it.

  • Can i throat punch him?!?! As a chef i want to say thay most celebrity chefs are pretentious and i haaaate it! And until you have attempted to breast feed, shut the hell up. It is not easy. As long as baby and mom are happy and healthy that's all that matters.
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  • jrouge12 said:

    I feel like all of my clothes, my couch and more are covered in breastmilk. 
    Yes, me too!

    Easy?!?!?! That pisses me off. I'm in a great place with breastfeeding now, but I spent weeks crying and in horrible pain (bleeding, chapped, plugged ducts, and had thrush) while trying different things to make it work. Breastfeeding is HARD.
  • Unless you have breastfeed a baby you don't get an opinion of how "easy, convenient and free" it is. I had a friend whose never had kids get all judgemental with me when she found out I stopped BFing my daughter early on. Unless you've done it you don't get to sit on a high horse and talk about how much better it is and how you'll exclusively breastfeed for the first 6months and blah blah blah. men who push a breastfeeding agenda on new moms can suck it too. Its easy to push breast is best until you are experiencing pain, depression, anxiety, etc. as a result of breastfeeding. Breast is only best if it works best for mama and baby, the mothers health and wellbeing (including mental health) is valuable too. 
  • Unless you have breastfeed a baby you don't get an opinion of how "easy, convenient and free" it is. I had a friend whose never had kids get all judgemental with me when she found out I stopped BFing my daughter early on. Unless you've done it you don't get to sit on a high horse and talk about how much better it is and how you'll exclusively breastfeed for the first 6months and blah blah blah. men who push a breastfeeding agenda on new moms can suck it too. Its easy to push breast is best until you are experiencing pain, depression, anxiety, etc. as a result of breastfeeding. Breast is only best if it works best for mama and baby, the mothers health and wellbeing (including mental health) is valuable too. 
    Even if you HAVE breastfed, it doesn't give you permission to judge anyone else! Every situation is different. How many times did we all hear, "Nothing in pregnancy is normal," meaning it's different for everyone! 
  • It is definitely not easy OR free and that's precisely why my son is formula fed now. I mean, I also had postpartum depression/anxiety that went unchecked for a week and I thought I was going to go insane unless I went on medication. But, I mean that's a small detail, right?

    And hats off to women who push through and continue to breastfeed because it's SO hard. 
    Vincent 1.1.16 & Daniel 11.6.07
    In Memory of Barbara <3 , beloved mother and grandmother
  • @kaym6 I'm with you! Pumping sucks. Its so awkward. I feel like a damn cow lol. All moms rock! I look at my daughter all time and I'm like "I grew this. Holy sh**."
  • jrouge12 said:
     I feel like all of my clothes, my couch and more are covered in breastmilk. It makes me feel disgusted with myself.
    I was just thinking this the other day! How dare he call this easy.. Fed is best, however that needs to happen
  • Breastfeeding is hard. I'm still hanging in there despite a difficuky start, she had latch issues. It hurt so bad in the beginning. I still have low supply & I have to supplement with formula sometimes. I totally see why people stop. I've had times I've considered it. I think it should be states clearly by lactation classes & consultants that it's hard instead of trying to sell women this fantasy that it should be easy & painless. 
  • I will admit I think I was a little judgy about breastfeeding before having my little one, but holy sh!t is it hard. We had latching issues, tongue tied, poor oral tone, low supply, lost 13% of birth weight and took a month to get back to birth weight. Still having to supplement 6 oz of formula a day despite being on a pretty high dose of Domperidone, fenugreek, power pumping, oatmeal and enough brewer's yeast that my urine is now a microbrew IPA. I was so proud that we were down to so little supplementation when I got a condescending comment from my breastfeeding group about how I just need to pump more and let her cluster feed and I wouldn't need to supplement. Yeah, screw off lady, you don't know what I've been through or my kid.

    Me: 35, Hubbie: 33
    Married DH: 2013
    DD: Dec 2015
    BFP 8/14/17 --> Due 4/27/2018

    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker

  • MammaDoc said:
    I will admit I think I was a little judgy about breastfeeding before having my little one, but holy sh!t is it hard. We had latching issues, tongue tied, poor oral tone, low supply, lost 13% of birth weight and took a month to get back to birth weight. Still having to supplement 6 oz of formula a day despite being on a pretty high dose of Domperidone, fenugreek, power pumping, oatmeal and enough brewer's yeast that my urine is now a microbrew IPA. I was so proud that we were down to so little supplementation when I got a condescending comment from my breastfeeding group about how I just need to pump more and let her cluster feed and I wouldn't need to supplement. Yeah, screw off lady, you don't know what I've been through or my kid.
    Before I delivered, one of my friends said something along the line of, "Don't let those La Leche nazis push you around." (Disclaimer: The La Leche League does great things. However, there are a lot of unsupervised and unqualified people giving their opinion.) 
    We had a problem about 5 weeks in, where our LO was having MAJOR stomach issues, and we had just begun paced feeds. I put a line out to see if the two could be related, mentioning that the doctor had suggested Gripe Water, and that we had been using it.
    No answers to my actual question. Just aggressive links about how horrible you were if you were supplementing anything at all--even doctor directed. I think that was the point where I threw my hands up and said I was done.
    I made it to 6 weeks, and I'm impressed with that.
  • My LO is 12 weeks now and he's eating breast milk exclusively. I both BF and he eats from a bottle at times. Being 100% honest, I hate breastfeeding. It's awful, and truly so hard. One of the hardest things I've dealt with, without a doubt. When he was born he was tongue tied and the Dr did not want to clip it right away. So we went about a week attempting to get him to latch, and when he did latch I was in excruciating pain and I would wait until I couldn't take it anymore and I'd take him off the breast and then self express onto a spoon and spoon feed him. It was terrible. After my milk came in, I thought I'd down myself. I know it's a blessing at the same time to have a good milk supply, but that comes with its own headaches too. I'm constantly wearing nursing pads, I soak through the pads regularly, I soak through my bras and clothes and onto my couch, recliner, and bed. It makes me feel dirty in a way. I always have milk on me. My let downs are almost always too strong for my baby and that causes him to choke..I often pump some before or during a feeding. I've dealt with clogged ducts throughout the entire time. Which are so so painful. There are times my breasts feel like rocks. I'm still not comfortable with feeding or pumping in public, which I hate, so if we're going out I always bring a bottle. I'm so sick of women being shamed for breastfeeding in public, but then you turn around and your shamed for feeding them formula. I understand problems with BF from the other side too. When my sister had her son, her milk never really came in. She would pump hours a day and get a couple ounces. But she felt so much pressure to do what was "right", she tried and tried and tried for weeks. And I saw how hard that was on her and how disappointed and ashamed of herself. It was terrible. Like a PP said, fed is best. BF is not easy. It's not convenient. And it is definitely not free. It is hard for everyone, hopefully there are times where it's easier, but sometimes there aren't. It is not for everyone. And that is ok. Just feed your baby. Whatever works for you and your child.
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