When should DH come home/stay home?

tara4910 · March 2016

So I'm not currently in labor, but I have had a few instances over the past week or two where I have contractions for a couple hours and I wonder if it's the real thing before it fizzles out. I'm wondering when others are planning to ask their SO to come home or stay home from work while in labor. Is this another situation where I will "just know" and I'm worrying unnecessarily??! I don't want my husband to miss work if it's not the real deal, but I also don't want to be laboring on my own at home. My doctor says I don't need to go to the hospital until my contractions are 3-5 minutes apart, but I don't imagine I will want to be at home alone at that point. STMs, what did you do in the past and FTMs, what is your plan?

yodiggity · March 2016

FTM here. I am working up until labor. I am 38w5d - I *envision* going into labor in the evening and SO will be home and everything will be perfectly fine.

Reality, I'll probably be at work and so will SO. I am hoping, if I do start into labor at work, it will be slow enough that I can drive home and SO can meet me there. If not, I will most likely labor at work until SO can come pick me up.

Maybe I'm being naive to think that I'll be capable of driving while having contractions. lol

yodiggity · March 2016

If you're 40 weeks, I'd say your DH's boss should be aware that at any moment he could get the call. Does he work far away?

tara4910 · March 2016

@yodiggity he works close and can leave whenever I ask him to come home. I'm sure I'm overthinking things, but I'm worried I will tell him to come home and it will be a false alarm or I will wait until I desperately need him and he will be at a lunch meeting or something. I think your plan is good though, most people go into labor at night!

momofmanyinthemitten · March 2016

My labors have always started at night, so DH was already home, but I personally would wait until contrax are getting stronger/longer/getting harder to talk through. However, DH works minutes from home, our doula lives 3 blocks away, and our hospital is a block from our house.

olivemomma · March 2016

My DH was working when I went into labor with my first. I kept him updated throughout the day on the timing of my contractions so he could give his coworkers a heads up as well. When I was pretty sure they were the real deal and I was about 6 minutes apart, consistent, and they were growing in length and intensity I told him to come on home. i do think for the most part you will just know. And honestly, laboring by yourself for a while is not a big deal - I went grocery shopping and ran some other errands as things progressed as I found just sitting around infuriating. We waited until I was about 4 minutes apart to go to the hospital but he just sat there with me - there's not much they can really do! As long as he doesn't work too far from home and you don't live far from the hospital just be in contact with him and see what feels comfortable for both of you at the time. You may be more calm than you imagine.

Daniep08 · March 2016

With baby 2, by the time I realized I was in active labor contractions were about 3mins apart and it was in the evening. Hubby worked 2nd shift and his job was about 20mins away. My mom lives 5 mins from us and came and took me to the hospital and he met us there, I don't know if I could have waited for him as she was born less than an hour later. Now this time his job he works from home but travels for appointments up to 3hrs away almost daily. I can't ask him not
to take any appointments for the next 2-3weeks since I always go
overdue. I'm praying I go into labor at night so that he isn't 2-3hrs away when it's go time!

AK118 · March 2016

My husband's job knows he can get a call and have to leave. He's about 10 minutes away from home, but works noon to midnight. If I think something is happening, he's getting a call.

wildtot · March 2016

FTM and DH works about 20 mins away in good traffic. He checks in on me throughout the day and he has told his boss it can be any time now. My only back up is a friend/coworker who lives/works near me. Our preterm scare has had DH boss prepared for his leave at anytime.

Ready4theParty · March 2016

What is your DH comfortable with? DH wants to know any little change in contractions and gets mad when he doesn't get up dates. He works from home I work 45 miles away, but 20 from our hospital. We both like to be prepared. If the roles were reversed I'd probably wait to have him come home until contractions were constantly 10 mins apart. Work and coworkers understand babies are unpredictable.

Missingchampagne · March 2016

I think if your husband isn't far from you, then yeah you're overthinking a little

As long as he has an understanding employer, he just has to treat it like an on-call situation and know that keeping his phone on a super LOUD setting at meetings, near him at all times, is part of the game plan at this point. My husband is about 15 minutes away, hospital is about the same, so I plan on just letting him know when it's happening and keeping him posted as things progressed. If they're happening very fast, I'll tell him "you need to get here immediately". If they are touch-and-go, maybe he will finish work, come home, and go with me to the hospital later in the day. If you had a situation where he frequently traveled and needed to stop doing so, I would think there would be more planning involved. But I think for your case, a play-by-ear plan will be just fine.

Disneygirl921 · March 2016

My DH can work from home so he is taking advantage of that and working at home now that I'm 39 weeks. We live over an hour away from the hospital and an hour from his office so it just makes me feel a lot better having him here

sarahufl · March 2016

Disneygirl921 said:

My DH can work from home so he is taking advantage of that and working at home now that I'm 39 weeks. We live over an hour away from the hospital and an hour from his office so it just makes me feel a lot better having him here

Mine is (thankfully) able to do the same. I think we are both a bit on edge

shani12345 · March 2016

I imagine dh will just appear in a puff of smoke when I really need him and we be my superman because that's just how it's gotta be!!

pinottoparenthood · March 2016

Yeah, when I got close to my due date my husband knew to have his phone on him at all times. It's also really easy for me to get in touch with him via his work email if he wasn't on his phone or was on the phone with a client. I ended up being induced though so it didn't matter.

I'm much more nervous this time as my husband is working out of town a lot for a new position and will be out of town for a few days next week (I will be 39 weeks). after that he will be working from our current hometown until baby comes and will luckily only be five minutes from me!

cmjenkies · March 2016

I was induced with my first so this is a new ballgame for me. DH works swing shift 5P-3A, but his FMLA is approved so if I call, he can leave. Problem is DS will be home and my inlaws who plan on taking him live across town about 30 mins away. We're only 5 from the hospital. My sister doesn't live too far away either. I don't really know what we will do when it comes down to it though. I live 2-3 miles from the hospital.

JadaBlue · March 2016

My husband has been out of touch in Borneo on a river cruise for a few days, so I can relate (I'm only 36 plus 3 or he wouldn't be doing this). He'll also be in another country (but not far) until 10 days before my due date.

That being said, maybe I'm needy or it reflects trying to go med free, but I found him essential during my first labor. He was with me through every contraction with encouragement, breathing reminders, and even holding my hands and eye contact helped. To each their own, but I disagree with the idea that there isn't a role for your partner if you want him to be part of it.

helleebellee · March 2016

Dh can only be home on the weekends, so if it happens during the week, then I'm on my own. All I can do is hope I go into labor on a weekend or closer to so he's here by the time I head home from the hospital. With the others he worked closer and was always within an hour to home. Right now he is at least 20 hours away, and will be for the next 10 days. He'll be home the weekend of the 9th, and then he's right back to work. I sure wish he had a job closer to home.

When should DH come home/stay home?

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