Holidays...how do you get through?

CoonMom · March 2016

I loss my baby at six weeks in December (a week before Christmas). I never really "felt" pregnant but I knew I was, only from a BFP but still my heart was so invested from day one. I would have been 21 weeks Tuesday most likely sharing the baby's gender at Easter activities today. Christmas was hard because of obvious reasons. I know Mother's day with be very difficult this year. I guess I didn't expect Easter to be so painful.

Are all holidays rough? Do they get easier with time? How do you get through?

DinosaurJumper · March 2016

I understand, it was kind of painful to scroll through my FB wall today, and see all of the beautiful little families posting photos of their happy easter sunday. I don't really know if the holidays get "easier" really. I think the grief of a loss can fade overtime, but I don't know if the pain of wishing for a family that you can't seem to have goes away. I'm there too. I hope your day gets better!

MooFish2364 · March 2016

Yesterday was hard for me as well. I guess I didn't really think about it and didn't mentally prepare myself for the day. I got on fb and kept seeing all of these photos of kids with their Easter baskets and with the Easter bunny. After 10 minutes I got off fb and never got back on. I was also looking forward to spending my first holiday pregnant (well I was pregnant on New Year's Eve but I had just found out) and it just made the loss seem even more real.

Spartanrd4 · March 2016

I agree- Easter was hard, I had to stay away from fb and knowing that I would be 13 weeks now and be announcing my pregnancy just hurt so badly. I think mother's day will be hard as well.

dpjennifer · March 2016

I don't think the holidays get 'easier' over time. But maybe we can be more prepared for them? I guess I just try to prepare myself ahead of time that there will be a lot of FB posts and images that are going to make me feel pain, and that I can't stop it. So I try to mentally prepare myself that parts of the day will be rough, and that I may feel pangs of sadness here and there and that's ok to feel. I've also been trying to keep a positive mindset of appreciating that hopefully next year (or the next holiday) that that will be me that's pregnant or with a baby or whatnot. Also, as people have said in other threads, you don't know their situations either, and I've been trying to give those posting the happy family pictures, etc. the benefit of the doubt as well. Maybe they spent many holidays having trouble TTC or being post-MC or any one of a tons of situations, and now they finally have their moment, and hopefully mine will come soon.

valleric · March 2016

It gets a little easier. My loss was last April 19. The worst holiday for me was Mother's Day last year. This year it happens to also be my birthday. It sucks.

MWoodside · March 2016

Honest answer: drinking and glueing myself to my favorite relative or IL at the event.

I want to clarify that I do not have a drinking problem and don't drink very often so I am not encouraging addiction with this answer. I am just being truthful. Holidays were the hardest for me when we were dealing with IF b/c of the inevitable "When are you guys going to start a family?" questions. We weren't an open book about IF. Neither of my losses were near a holiday that involves celebration (they were 2/13 so close to Valentine's Day, but obviously no celebrations with family, and then 7/23) so I was not put in a situation where I had to fake a happy face right after a loss around family.

Really, I just tried to have fun by hanging around the person I felt most comfortable around, politely avoiding those I didn't want to be around and enjoying a few drinks.

ThePax89 · March 2016

Holidays are excruciating. On Christmas, I was 7 weeks pregnant and sick as a dog. I was pregnant with my rainbow and we were excited to make our announcement. My m/c started right after Christmas.

Tennis11785 · March 2016

I was not expecting Easter to be so hard. A beautiful family came and sat two rows in front of us at church. About my age, had a baby - looked to be about 18 months - and the mom was clearly pregnant again. When they sat down, my husband hugged me, gave me a kiss and said "that will be us one day." I nearly lost it. Just kidding...I did lose it. We left church before it even started.

BaylieGirl · March 2016

I just skipped the Easter holiday this year. I found out about my misscarrage a day before Christmas and it just sucked all the joy out of my holiday spirit. I also got my period on Easter Sunday which made me even more depressed because every time I get AF I feel the loss of the misscarrage again. I just couldn't put on a happy face and be around my family (sister-in-law is pregnant and they just bought a house). So my husband went to see his family while I spent the day in bed with the dog eating Junkfood and binge watching Izomie on Netflix. I can't wait to get off this emotional roller coaster.

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