September 2015 Moms
FRabba
member
Regrets and Repeats
FRabba
member
Alright ladies, as the title suggests, state things you regret doing with your LOs, whether it be a technique, a purchase, a habit, etc.
Also, what are some things that worked really well, that you are either really proud of and/or are planning to continue with future children.
I am really looking forward to reading your posts as I am sure I will learn a lot!
I'll get us started - my biggest technique regret is not continuously using a bottle. I EBF. My LO switched from bottle to breast with ease, and for the first 2 months I did just that. But then I got tired of pumping and found it easier to only nurse and drop the bottle. It never crossed my mind that he would FORGET how to use one! I mean, bottle + baby, right? Don't the two just magically always fit? Well now, I desperately wish he would take a bottle so that I could gain some freedom. BIGGEST REGRET!
Some purchase regrets are baby shoes (never used them), patterned onesies that go under clothes/hold the diaper - I prefer just plain white as it matches all his clothes for when his shirts rise (which is always), bibs as he never uses them, a baby swing as I did not want him to get used to the motion to fall asleep so I rarely used it, bumbo chair - a high chair was so much better for us, and the baby bullet as any blender does the job.
On the bright side, things I am super proud of that I would like to re-do for future children is not swaddling past 2 months (made the work easier to stop before I HAD to), sleep training as now my LO sleeps on his own in his crib, getting him used to sleeping in loud noises and in random places (as in a different bed and car seat), and having somewhat of a schedule as it makes my days more predictable and I can plan around his naps.
Purchases that were a must have for me are a breast pump, baby carrier, on the go changing mat, an easily washable feeding bib (rubber/plastic material), nursing pillow, exercise jumper, play pen, car seat canopy, and a high chair. All were very useful and so worth the money.
Your turn!
Also, what are some things that worked really well, that you are either really proud of and/or are planning to continue with future children.
I am really looking forward to reading your posts as I am sure I will learn a lot!
I'll get us started - my biggest technique regret is not continuously using a bottle. I EBF. My LO switched from bottle to breast with ease, and for the first 2 months I did just that. But then I got tired of pumping and found it easier to only nurse and drop the bottle. It never crossed my mind that he would FORGET how to use one! I mean, bottle + baby, right? Don't the two just magically always fit? Well now, I desperately wish he would take a bottle so that I could gain some freedom. BIGGEST REGRET!
Some purchase regrets are baby shoes (never used them), patterned onesies that go under clothes/hold the diaper - I prefer just plain white as it matches all his clothes for when his shirts rise (which is always), bibs as he never uses them, a baby swing as I did not want him to get used to the motion to fall asleep so I rarely used it, bumbo chair - a high chair was so much better for us, and the baby bullet as any blender does the job.
On the bright side, things I am super proud of that I would like to re-do for future children is not swaddling past 2 months (made the work easier to stop before I HAD to), sleep training as now my LO sleeps on his own in his crib, getting him used to sleeping in loud noises and in random places (as in a different bed and car seat), and having somewhat of a schedule as it makes my days more predictable and I can plan around his naps.
Purchases that were a must have for me are a breast pump, baby carrier, on the go changing mat, an easily washable feeding bib (rubber/plastic material), nursing pillow, exercise jumper, play pen, car seat canopy, and a high chair. All were very useful and so worth the money.
Your turn!
Re: Regrets and Repeats
I regret not speaking up about having constant visitors when LO was born. I had 15 days of constant visitors. It really impacted my breastfeeding/pumping schedule. I feel I would still be breastfeeding and it would have worked out if I did set a strict schedule with it. If it went well, I think PPD might not have happened like it did. I regret not setting aside the money for formula in case breastfeeding didn't work out. I don't regret anything with my son though. We're both new to this and it's a learning experience. He's happy, he's healthy and that's all I care about
Purchase regrets:
Omg like everything lol. All his baby shoes. Sit me up floor seat, his thighs are too chubby and I used it only a handful of times. Portable swing, never used it. The million receiving blankets. Buying bulk clothes for 0-3 month size. I thought he'd be in that size the longest and boy was I wrong! All Johnson&Johnson products. Walmart brand wipes. Backseat mirror. There's so many more lol I felt I needed every single item on the BRU registry checklist and haven't used half of it
Proud of:
I'm proud that I wasted no time when I knew I had PPD. I made a doctors appointment 24 hours after it started and got medication immediately. I'm proud of voicing how I was feeling and not trying to battle it alone. I'm proud of myself for not reading "how to" books throughout my pregnancy and just wanting to experience this for myself and not have any expectations. I'm proud of the mother and the person I've become. I'm proud of sticking to my gut instincts and them proving to be right, it makes me so confident and I love it. I love that my body just knows what to do. I'm proud of how much my beautiful little man is thriving and I'm so proud of myself for creating such a perfect human being. I'm not a confident person but I'm damn proud of my body for making that little boy
Must haves:
Munchkin sound machine and projector, it's the best invention ever! Avent bottles. Gripe water = life saver. Rainforest jumperoo...worth Every. Single. Penny. He'd be so lost without that thing. Graco click connect stroller and car seat, I'm definitely saving them for the next baby. Pampers sensitive wipes. Dove sensitive body wash! I'm definitely not wasting money on baby body wash and shampoos next time, I just share my body wash and shampoo with him. Money saver!
Regrets- 1) Not fighting harder to breastfeed. I exclusively pump and it sucks! He was 3 weeks early and was not a great latcher. Went to an LC a few times but quit because I hated taking him out and about so young. I plan to go 12 months and I think it would be much easier if he would take the breast occasionally. 2) not taking monthly baby pics. I thought, he's a boy, he won't care. But didn't think it was for me, not him. I have a million pics of him but it would be fun to have him posed the same way each month and reflect on his growth. And I feel like I can't do that with my next child now because I didn't with him so it wouldn't be fair? 3) not being as strict about diet and working out. Still not to my PP weight and it's annoying. I could have done better but I made the excuse that it's the first time in my life that I didn't have to diet so I earned it. Not true. I think I gained probably 35-40 lbs
Proud of- 1) not quitting and sticking to just breast milk. It's a pain in the ass but he is so worth it. 2) Being a full time working mom and finding the time to juggle everything. It's been so rewarding. I feel like a rockstar. This mom stuff is NO JOKE.
Purchase regrets- 1) I didn't buy it but I registered for it... A stroller. Used it once. It was to jarring and I hated it. I wear him anytime we leave home so it was pointless. And of course it HAD to connect to our graco car seat. Should have gotten a jogging stroller instead. I think I will do that for #2. 2) Newborn outfits. Not worth it. He wore some once and didn't even wear some others.
Best purchases- 1) Snuza baby alarm. So much peace of mind. Getting the owlet for the next kid and sending the snuza to the sitter for naps. I will buy this for any baby shower I go to forever. 2) nosefrida. 3) halo sleep sacks. 4) graco sous chef 5 in 1 high chair. 5) a Shusher. 6) Baby Brezza, love it and it makes making baby food way too easy not to do it.
Cant wait to see what everyone else says!!
I didn't purchase anything impractical because she is my 3rd girl so I already knew better
I wish I had enjoyed maternity leave more. We never went for a walk or anything in my 4 months off! I was more concerned about balancing the other two kids.
Love my high chair (svan wooden high chair) and using the jogger as a stroller. Pneumatic tires are the best.
Regrets:
1. My whole breastfeeding experience. We saw an lc several times, but I just never could get it right on our own. We used a shield for 6 weeks. He wasn't gaining his weight and was extremely colicky. I gave in and gave him formula at 6 weeks. I don't regret formula, in fact I wish I had started supplementing when he first had issues gaining. But I do wish bfing would have worked out.
2. Wish I had listened to my gut about his dr. Every time I'd bring up a concern he'd brush it off and say all babies do that. My baby was so unhappy for about 2 months bc he had reflux and his dr wouldn't listen. I finally switched him to another dr and life got better.
3. Not using a baby carrier from the start. We had one but I was too lazy to put it together. By the time I was desperate and tried to use it at 4 weeks he wasn't having it. I feel he would have taken to it if I'd tried at the beginning.
Purchases:
Regrets: too many 0-3 mo clothes, cute clothes that weren't practical, too many play mats. He had a fp rainforest mat, tummy time mat, and kick n play piano. Only needed one.
Good ones: fp kick n play piano, fp cradle n swing, fp sit me up, graco pack n play, nosefrida, gripe water, gas drops, dr Brown's formula pitcher, munchkin sounds machine and projector, this stroller sun visor from bbb.
Proud: just having made this little man and loving him more everyday. I remember mom's saying you don't know love until you've had a child. I didn't buy it but it's so true. I can't believe I can love someone this much. Best feeling ever.
No purchase regrets this time-second girl. For DD1, I regret buying a crib. Neither child used it enough to justify the expense.
I'm proud of ignoring guilt and only using the things I like. I don't even use clothes on LO unless I love them. The stage is so short, I'm only going to use my favourite outfits, toys, carriers, blankets, etc.
I'm proud of EBFing to 6 months before starting solids. Not a drop of anything else. It was a personal goal
Repeat: Fave things are Graco travel lite pnp, ring sling, Storchenweige woven wrap, Chimparoo Trek, Rumparooz diaper covers, Sloomb basewoolies, handmade knit bonnets and our montessori infant space.
Proud of: Asking my job to move from full-time (40 hours) to part-time (32 hours) so I could have one more day with baby during the week. Best decision ever. When I was three weeks away from going back to work I started to get really sad thinking about how I would only have two full days a week with him. I was really nervous to ask my employer, but they graciously accepted my offer and now I am loving that mommy and baby day every week.
Breastfeeding and pumping at work. At times it's been stressful trying to make enough milk for LO while pumping at work, and I've had my share of struggles (mastitis, needing to use those tricks to increase milk supply, pumping on weekend mornings to make enough for the next week, etc.), but here we are at 7 months and now I'm confident I'll be able to go the full year.
Purchases:
Regrets:
Buying too many bottles before knowing if they would work for baby. First time we tried them out (Philips Avent Natural), we realized the flow was way too fast. Switched to Munchkin Latch and never went back. Thankfully I was able to return all the bottles I never used or opened.
Plain white onesies: We kept gender a surprise, so we didn't have many clothes on the registry and registered for some plain white onesies. Never used them. He's been living in funny-sayings onesies and sleep and plays since he was born ... tried a few normal shirts but they always ride up over his milk gut, so onesies have been our best friend, but white was just too boring.
Other little items, but never opened them so I was able to return them all.
Best Purchases:
- Snuza breathing monitor
- Swing
- Rainforest jumperoo (he loves this thing!)
- Fisher Price 4-in-1 Tub (this has been amazing as it has grown with him through the stages)
- 31 Zip Top Utility Tote (to store and carry all my pumping supplies to and from work)
- Graco Click Connect Travel System with car seat and stroller ... got a lot of use after baby was born and stroller will be used almost daily once Spring is here
- Bouncer and Infant-to-Toddler Rocker - so I can take a shower!
- Costco diapers: Love them and work so much better than Pampers for us (no more up-the-back explosions!), plus they're cheaper
- Water Wipes: Started out using Pampers Sensitive but they gave LO a rash. Switched to water wipes (99% water, 1% fruit extract) and no issues since. Plus, we use them to clean off his mouth and hands after meals too.
- IKEA Cube Shelves for toy/blanket/books/etc. storage
- Dohm sound machine
- Elephant Slumber Projector and Music toy
- Chicco NextFit Convertible Car Seat
- Teethers, and lots of them, from Amazon in all different styles
- Bibs: Drooly baby ... these are a must-have. (Regret: We used the bandana bibs for awhile and loved them at first, but then baby got a rash from the wetness sitting on his chin, so we're back to using regular cotton bibs)
- Buying as much as I can on local Facebook garage sale site, including bouncers, jumparoo, infant-to-toddler seat, fleece onesies when they were no longer available in store and out of season, etc. This has saved me tons of money!
--Maybe not sticking with sleep training while my husband was out of town. It was just much easier to co sleep! ----The other thing I regret was not getting a video monitor for DD1. LOVE it.
--I REALLY wish I had spent more energy potty training DD1 before DD2 was born. I know she may have regressed a little, but now she's being a little stubborn about it.
Repeats:
--Buying more white onesies. My girls are off season, so I've loved having long sleeved white onesies to go under the cute short sleeved ones.
--A huge bottle of oxyclean.
--Medela PISA. I bought it with my first, before insurance provided double electric pumps, but I'm glad because it works SO well.
--Love the Bumbo, Exersaucer, on the go change bad, and Lillebaby carrier
The pacifier to sleep situation has gotten ridiculous in our house. Should have skipped it.
Not having my drivers license! I still don't have it and we miss out on a lot of play dates and activities because taking the bus is too daunting hauling baby and my pumping stuff.
proud: I'm proud I did eventually figure out my sons tongue tie issue. He's sleeping better and has less gas and I feel like he's taking solids way better than he would have if he were still tied.
Im so proud of the beautiful little man that my body made! He's so smart and loving, and so good with strangers. He already gives people kisses (grabs both sides of the face and open mouth gloms onto their faces, sooooo adorable). I love him to pieces.
Purchases: not sure we'll be having more, but I'm definitely hanging on to the white noise machine, the pack n play and mattress, the ergo carrier, and the 3dflip stroller. I'll probably have to hide them at my moms house lol. I've also loved cloth diapering and got most of my stash used and cheap or free.
-with DD was not enjoying her baby stage enough because i was too busy waiting for her to reach her milestones.
-with the twins getting them used to side lying bottle feed. They drink their bottles laying on their side on a boppy pillow as if i were to breast feed except with a bottle. That was the only way they were able to eat & leave the NICU & now trying to feed them like a "regular" baby in my arms is impossible.
Purchase regrets:
-none. Ive used everything i have bought & everything that was bought for all 3 of my kids.
I do not regret getting 2 of everything for my twins. It is handy for each to have their own things.
Proud:
- to finally be able to say that i got the whole being a mom of 3 under control.
-Its amazing to see my kids love eachother & even though DD was an only child for 5 years she does such an amazing job with her brothers.
- Im proud to have pumped for 6 months. Exclusively Pumping & having 2 babies is no joke.
Repeats:
None! All done. Baby factory was closed 10 hours after the twins were born!
My regrets:
- allowing the habit of napping only in my arms to continue this long. I feel like there is no fixing it now. I've just accepted I won't be able to do anything during her naps.
- ever using the stupid nipple shield. Going on 7.5 months and still refuses to nurse without that thing. I guess reading previous posts I should be grateful she nurses at all. Definitely something I would pass on with a future baby. I let a subpar LC at the hospital tell me my nipples were too flat (they're not that flat), and even though she was latching without it to start using it.
- letting myself gain so much while breastfeeding (I assumed, stupidly, like every other woman that I would lose weight naturally. But my appetite was/is out of control while nursing.) I never feel full. Sigh. I was 5 lb away from pre pregnancy weight when I left the hospital and I ended up gaining more after than I did while I was pregnant. Working on it now. Seeing progress but wish I would have avoided it.
Buyer regrets:
- too many nb onesies. She didn't wear a lot of them.
- playpen - she has never been in it. Spends her playtime on the floor. Sleeps in her crib. Never spent the night away from home. No way we could get her to nap in it. Trying to think of a way to use it for the sake of using it.
- scratch mitts. Ended up not wanting to put them on her since I wanted to allow her access to her bare hands.
- stroller-- we did use it a couple of times and will probably get more use out of it now that the weather is warming up. But we definitely didn't need it right away.
-ergo and moby --used the moby a fair amount in the beginning. But I have a bad back (disc issues), and can't baby wear at all anymore.
Glad I:
-stopped swaddling before it became an issue (3ish months).
-didn't use a pacifier. She hasn't become a thumb sucker. She eats all her fingers for self soothing. It has worked out well.
-transitioned from Moses basket by my side to crib in her nursery at 5 months. I wanted to wait until 6 months, but she was too crammed in the basket and bed sharing wasn't comfortable for any of us. The transition went by without a hitch. She loves her crib.
-stuck out breastfeeding even though it was a huge struggle at first and we did need to supplement in the beginning. Supplementing can be a slippery slope as I've seen with IRL friends. My milk didn't come in until 7 days and she was severely jaundiced (bilirubin levels hit 22!) so supplementing was undoubtedly necessary and I definitely don't regret it.
- didn't buy a lot of baby gear like mamaroos and walkers and jumpers and a bumbo. My baby doesn't need them.
Gear I love and use a lot:
- my spectra pump
- my buckwheat nesting pillow.
- baby bjorn bouncer. She loves bouncing herself in it. It's easily portable. Worth every penny. Made housework and showers possible with a baby that can't be put down for naps.
- stokke Tripp trapp high chair --we wavered because it's pricey but went for it with the baby seat and tray. She loves it and can sit in it playing with her toys for long periods of time.
- Haba wooden toys. This brand seems to be her favorite. She loves all their toys.
-corkimat. Pricey but worth it. I had a hard time finding a playmat I was comfortable with and this one is amazing.
- this isn't baby gear but a system that I found easiest for making baby food--pureeing with a hand held blender in a mason jar. I can store it in the mason jar before freezing in ice cube trays. Least amount of mess since the hand held blender is so easy to clean. I also use the jam sized (4 oz) mason jars for freezing breastmilk and carrying her baby food on the go. I use a lot of mason jars of all different sizes. Love em.
- video monitor - I see her better through the monitor than I did while she was sleeping next to me lol. We bought the infant optics dxr8 because I wanted a non-wifi monitor. It's awesome. Gives a paranoid mom like me the peace of mind she needs. I wake up many times at night just to look at the screen and watch her belly moving up and down.
- boon drying rack lawn and avent bottle sterilizer. For pumping gear and bottles. They have been used A LOT. I pump twice a day so sterilizing is not too much of a hassle. It's actually easier than washing by hand. I just rinse really well, throw everything in the sterilizer and it's ready for use within 10 minutes. I love the rack. Looks nice on the counter for her little baby things.
- como tomo bottles. We went through a brief period of bottle rejection. We bought these bottles. She takes them like a champ. They are super easy to clean because they're wide mouthed. Love the soft silicone feel.
- yoga ball. Bouncing on it will usually calm her when nothing else is working. She's not a fan of the rocking motion. She likes to bounce.
Wow that was long winded. There might be more but I'll stop there lol.
BFP September 2013 - MMC at 12 weeks
BFP February 2014 - early loss/CP at 4.5 weeks
BFP May 2014 - MMC/ complete molar pregnancy at 11 weeks
BFP December 2015 - DD born 8/18/2015
BFP November 2016 - pending...
1. not it allowing any visitors for the first week and really limiting visits after that: it was wonderful to be able to sit around topless all day and not have to worry about privacy, plus I loved the chance DH and I had to bond with lo and adjust to being a family of 3.
2. Getting my tubes tied during my c-section. We knew we were 1 and done and I love not having to worry about bc.
3. Being a SAHM. Sometimes I really miss working, but I love being home with baby.
4. Letting her nap on me. She does most of her naps in her crib, but I love the closeness of sleeping baby snuggles, especially because now she loves to be held, but she wants to play rather than cuddle.
4. Borrowing and buying as much stuff used as I can, we saved soooo much money this way.
Regrets:
1. Not being able to breast feed. It didn't work out, I don't regret stopping because that was the best choice for her, but I really wish we had been successful.
2. Not having a support system. Again that can't be helped, but I wish that we had had grandma's who I could have called when I really needed help after DH went back to work.
Good buys:
1. Rock n play. I cart that thing all over the house. My dog would not hesitate to run lo down so it's nice to have a portable place to set her down.
2. Fisher price kick and play piano, excersaucer, all the books and toys.
3. Lots of used sleep and plays: she lived in these her first 6 months and they were so much easier than messing with outfits.
4. Infant seat cover because what baby likes to be bundled up in a snowsuit. This way I put her in the car seat and zipped up the cover.
5. An extra bottle warmer so we don't have to go downstairs in the middle of the night to warm up a bottle.
6. A good stroller with pneumatic tires. We bought a Bob motion. I love that it works on all terrains and that I can take it through doorways easily when we are out and about. I can't stress enough to friends how important it is to buy a really good stroller.
Regrets:
1. The jumper for the doorway. I got it used for 10 bucks so it wasn't a huge waste of money, but lo doesn't understand that it's for bouncing and not swinging head first into the door frame.
2. Regular sleep sacks. The halos were great when she was a newborn, but now the sleep sacks gets all bunched up around her legs.
So...here I go!
Regrets:
-I didnt take any maternity or newborn pictures! I am a lover of pictures, but with my mother's diagnosis, surgery, treatment, and then having a newborn on top of that time was just not on my side. I take a lot of photos of her daily, so I'm sure that it will be okay.
- maternity leave. I went back to work (part-time) when she was 8 weeks old. I didn't think I would want to spend every waking moment of my day with her when I was pregnant! Did not realize how fast time would fly by or how fast she would grow. I wish that I would have taken more time off even though I would have been unpaid. Lesson learned though.
- kind of personal, but I wish I would have tried harder to give her the family I didn't/don't have. I love being a mom, but being a single mom is hard for odd reasons. One being I have no one to share the joys of being her mom (parent) on a daily basis.
I don't know (remember) if I gave the situation all the thought I needed to at the time when her dad and I separated. Although my reasons/issues were valid; I wonder every day if they could have been corrected or fixed with time?
Things I do not regret:
- I love all of my purchases! I did not buy much in advance which I thought was stupid at the time. But it's actually worked out great. I've bought clothes as she's needed it for the most part so I've been right on time with seasons and sizes. I've also learned what I needed versus didn't really need!
-Breastfeeding! It's been the hardest task as a new mom yet. Yes, harder than sleepless nights! But I love the bond! It's truly easy now! I fought for this, so I'm really proud. We battled a tongue tie for 3 months before revision, and a poor latch. Some days I can't believe I'm still breastfeeding! If I can get past the next couple of months I'm sure I will make it to 1 year!
-co-sleeping! I love this as well! Waking up to her smile every morning is the best part of my morning usually! Bonus is never having to get up in the middle of the night!
My favorite purchases, Hygeia pump, city mini baby jogger, peg perego siesta high chair, and Dr. Brown's bottles!
regret the revolving door of people for the first 3 weeks. Horrible. Never again.
Purchase regret = none! 90% of our stuff has been hand me downs, or given to us new. Honestly, we have hardly spent any money on LO. I almost feel guilty about it.
proud of: all the books, flash cards and time I give this baby.
Best baby items:
BOB jogging stroller
Bjorn
Jumper
bouncer chair(life saver only place he would nap forever)
aquarium mobile for crib
moses basket(sleeps in it, between DH and I, every night)
BOOKS!
monthly pictures by me, and professional pictures. So far NB, 3,6 month
halo sleep sacks
- lots of visitors in the hospital and during the first week; next time I will be standing up for myself
- not getting formal maternity pictures; I took lots of ones myself but I really wanted formal ones but never got them done
Purchase Regrets
- Bumbo chair (LOs legs were too chubby to use it comfortably); this was a gift though
Repeats
- EBF till 6 months and still nursing strong after introducing some solids
- cloth diapering; big money save!
- not introducing a pacifier; it's worked for us with LOs temperment
- waiting for LOs cue regarding sleep and milestones
-Too many visitors that first week!!! Omg I was so tired and my husband was gone for work so he couldn't play referee. I wore myself out.
-no maternity/newborn pictures! I had no idea how much I would cherish every snapshot of her in those early days
-Obsessing and killing myself breastfeeding and pumping. It was too much, especially after going back to work. My child is as healthy and happy (if not more so) on formula than she was exclusively breast feeding. I wish I had known.
-I really have no regrets with clothes because my LO wore all her clothes many times in those early months, but I do regret not stocking up more on larger sizes in clothes AND diapers! We had lots of newborns but not near enough ones or twos, and had to do a lot of emergency diaper runs before I signed up with Amazon mom/subscriptions!
Repeats:
-Finding a great pediatrician and bugging them with every little question!!!
-Cosleeping and more specifically, bed sharing. My sister has this great bassinet that can fit on the bed between her and her hubby that I'm absolutely getting if we have another one! We usually just pulled LO in bed with us, and we're very lucky, because we didn't observe a lot of the best practices for bed sharing out of sheer exhaustion, but it had so many benefits for us and for breastfeeding that there is no way I wouldn't do it again!
-Amazon mom!
-Instead of buying nighttime diapers, buying a small package of our usual diapers a size up. It's really nice, because there is no leaking at night if we don't change her and we don't have to interrupt sleep. Before, anytime we changed her, she would wake up for what seemed like hours, no matter go quiet and careful we were. Our area doesn't even sell nighttime diapers and it is a much cheaper option!
Products I Love:
-The Bloomin' Baby Bath. I had heard mixed reviews but it made my LO love baths (we tried with a traditional tub first and it was traumatic for everyone!) It is so nice and cozy and I didn't worry about every letting her slip and her bonking her head. We probably used it waay past her being too big for the kitchen sink.
-Kirkland wipes
-Aquaphor. I balked at the price at first, and figured A&D would do the same thing...WRONG! My daughter has never had a diaper rash, ever!
-Not taking more pictures of me and baby, especially in the hospital
-I wish I newborn picture in the same way I've been taking the monthly ones
-using a nipple shield, it ended up being more painful than helpful in the end
Purchase Regrets
-a crib and pack and play. We ended up co sleeping by 6 weeks and will probably continue until she's in a toddler bed.
-a travel system stroller. I barely used it and prefer baby wearing or using a jogging stroller
-baby bath tub. I used it twice and now she just showers with me.
- tons and tons of swaddling blankets. After 2 weeks she hated it and I never found ones I liked as good as the hospital blankets
Repeats
- just going with her cues and not following a strict schedule
-cosleeping, so much easier to just open my eyes to check on her than get up in the middle of the night
-waiting until 6 months until we start solids, not loving this new poop! Lol
Purchase Repeats
-ergo baby. That thing is a life saver for a high needs baby
-rock and play. Super easy to move her room to room
-getting a second food processor just for baby. Not necessary, but nice not having to worry about mine being clean all the time when I want to make her baby food
1.) Not getting her tongue tie looked at in the hospital. Instead we went over a month with a severe tongue tie and she tore my nipple up and a feeding took so long because she would pop off and on to eat.
2.) Not purchasing the City Select double stroller earlier. It has been a life saver.
3.) not asking for help more often. With 3 children and the baby had colic for the first 4 months. I felt like I had to do it all on my own since I was an experienced mother. But I had never had experience with colic and was stressed all the time.
4.) Never taking maternity pictures. I didn't take them with any of my pregnancies. I always felt huge and never beautiful in pictures so I didn't. It makes me sad that we don't have those to look back over.
5.) Newborn Cloth diaper AIO babe outgrew the absorbency so quickly. I should have just stuck to prefolds the first few weeks.
Repeats:
1.) I am so happy we chose to skip the infant car seat and go straight to the convertible seat.
2.) My Ergo and Moby wraps were a life saver.
3.) City select double stroller. Life saver. With a 3 year old and the baby it has made outings so much easier.
4.) This is a purchase from our 3 year old but The Buggy Bagg Elite shopping cart cover. I have used it many times over the past 3 years and it's been a blessing to have.
5.) our cloth diapers. We cloth our 3 year old and she was potty trained before the baby was born.
6.) co-sleeping. I've done it with al my babies until about 6 months old. It's the only way I was ever able to get sleep.
7.) Our 3 girl so we were able to reuse all the clothes from before. Only having to purchase a few outfits.
8.) Purchaed for the 2nd child was a Cradle swing that plugs in to the wall. Best purchase ever since it was used for both babies and was the only thing I could lay both of them down in and get a few things done.
Proud of...
-Sticking with breastfeeding/pumping. It took 9 weeks for us to get good at it and now at 6 months we're still going. I've wanted to stop a billion times, but I haven't and I'm really proud of it.
-"Sharing the baby". Being open to let others hold and play with him. I feel a lot of moms are too strict with this. Everyone wants to love him and he loves the attention!
-Not buying stuff. I don't even have a list of stuff that I regret buying. I borrowed a ton from family and friends and returned a lot of outfits to buy diapers and wipes.
Repeats...
-Putting baby down awake but drowsy
-Being on an Eat, Activity, Sleep rotation. No schedule
-Letting baby get used to sleeping in noisy places
-Not going crazy cleaning stuff. LO hasn't been sick yet and I think he's getting a great immune system.
-Not using a swing
-Reading "The baby whisperer" and no other parenting books.
-No nursing to sleep
-Car seat/stroller combo
-Not finding out the sex of baby. Everything we have is gender neutral - ready for baby #2!
-Making time for me and DH
-Giving DH a break
-Asking DH to give me a break
-Going back to work
-Bouncer chair, playmat
-No sleeping in rock and play
-Only sleeping on firm flat surface
-No warming bottles
-No warming wipes
-Baths only 2-3 times per week
-Vaginal birth (if possible)
-Nursing pillow
Regrets...
-Too many people at our house when baby came home
-Not having everything ready to go when LO was born (he was born 4 weeks early)
-Not planning more help the first 2 weeks home. I should have had someone to spend the night.
Repeats - Unmedicated birth with no interventions, having a great OB and doula, exclusive breastfeeding on demand, bed sharing.
Purchase regrets - Ring sling. I find it so uncomfortable and couldn't ever get either LO in it comfortably. Cloth diapers. We had a terrible experience with the ones we bought.
Purchase repeats - pretty much everything else
Regret having MIL stay with us for 3.5 weeks. She stresses me out on a good day so as a new mom I really could have used that additional time to adjust on my own. 3.5 weeks was just way too long. And she left on Saturday and I returned to work on Monday, so it really did a number on me emotionally that I didn't get any recovery time with just baby before going back to work.
Regret no maternity/newborn pics of me with baby. Hubby is a terrible photographer so all the photos with me and baby are fuzzy, washed out, or in some other way just really not good. On the bright side we have tons of great pics of baby and hubby. Those two are just so darned cute.
Not a regret, but I really do wish I could stay home with baby more - maybe work part time instead of full time. We just can't make that happen right now, but we are super lucky to have loving family care for him while I work.
Proud of sticking it out with nursing. We had such a miserable experience and I so 100% don't blame any mama who couldn't make it work, but I'm really proud/glad that we were able to. We have such a beautiful nursing relationship now.
Proud of my own stubbornness when it comes to parenting styles. We just go with the flow and I could not care less what other people think. Either we are the perfect parents, or people can see that I don't care so they keep their mouths shut. Whatever the reason, I haven't gotten a single side eye or nasty comment (or maybe I have and I just don't hear it?).
Bad purchases - swaddles (baby loved them, so hubby went out and bought more, only to have baby completely reject them a week later). That's literally it. Everything else we either borrowed, bought used, or use so often that it was totally worth the price. And we didn't know the sex, so at least the newborn - 3 month stuff is ready to go for baby #2!
Must haves - baby wearing gear (we have a couple different kids of wraps), jogging stroller, Dr. Brown bottles, the grass drying rack thing, billions of binkys (baby doesn't even suck on them - he just chews and chews on them as a teether), floor mat play gym, boppy pillow, Phil & Ted's lobster claw high chair, diaper service (ok, we don't have to have this one, and once grandma stops paying for it I'll be washing the diapers myself, my but the service is super convenient and I love it).
Things I'd change - don't want to rely so heavily on swings next time (we've developed a bit of a flat head issue due to our heavy use of swings early on).
Blankets. I bought one blanket - and it's by far our favorite - but we have so. many. blankets. Hand quilted blankets. Hand knitted blankets. Mama's blankets from when she was a baby. This blanket because friend's baby is obsessed with his. That blanket because grandma just thought it was so darn cute. Another blanket because somebody went on a trip somewhere...
Married 2013
Kiddo #1: Sept 2015
BFP: 1/19, EDD: 9/30
"I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly just grapes, actually. Ok all grapes. Fermented grapes. Fine, I'm having wine for dinner."
1. I really regret not taking monthly pregnancy pictures of my bump! My friend has beautiful pictures of her entire pregnancy, and I have random pictures that other people took
2. Not trying harder to save money before DD was born so I could be off work longer/ having too many loans from pre-baby days that mean I had to move to working four days instead of three due to financial strain.
3. Munchkin bottles. There are SO many parts to clean! DD ended up switching from breast to pacifier to any type of bottle and back again with zero problems.
4. Not getting a bottle warmer. It seems to take forever to warm boob dairy by setting the bottle in a glass of warm water.
My Loves:
1. My beautiful, happy, smart baby girl!
2. Having a diaper party and having a diaper raffle at my shower; six months in and we still have not had to buy diapers.
3. Boppy. I originally didn't want one, but my friends convinced me to get one, and it was a life saver for everything from breastfeeding to propping up DD before she could sit unassisted.
4. The Summer Infant version of the Bumbo with the activity tray. DD is so entertained I can get a ton of stuff done while she's in it.
5. Taking short videos of DD on my phone since birth. I was able to use Google Photos to create a photo/video compilation of her first six months that made me cry when I watched it
6. I so loved, and so miss, the hours I would spend holding, rocking, nursing and just looking at DD when i was on FMLA. She is the greatest thing I've ever done and she continues to amaze me every day!
7. I love breastfeeding, and am so thankful I did not have difficulties or unforseen problems.
Future:
1. More preggo selfies!
2. Less complicated bottles and a bottle warmer!
3. Diaper party!
4. Lots of videos and pictures!
5. Be financially stable enough for me to quit my job and not go back to work until LO2 is in pre-school! (But this would require winning the lottery lol)
Painting and decorating an adorable nursery, because we ended up buying a new house and moving when he was three months old...I was happy to get a bigger house, but leaving his little room behind was emotionally hard.
Not taking the semester off from grad school the semester he was born. Going back to classes two weeks postpartum was unpleasant.
Not making a stink in the hospital when I told the nurses that what I was feeling post-laceration repair felt a UTI. They poo pooled me, and sent me home...with a UTI...and I ended up in the ER. Should have been more forceful.
Not stocking up on nb-sized diapers, because everyone said he'd be in them for such a short time period...um, almost three months.
Repeats:
Genetic screening. I'm AMA, and it was worthwhile to decrease my stress and worries, and also to gain knowledge.
Breastfeeding
Halo sleep sack swaddle...used up through four months, all use the fleece version in arms-out mode when it's cold.
Buying a few of the Baby Bella portraits taken in the hospital when he was less than 24-hours old. I was in no condition to be taking pics, and I'm glad I have these special portraits.
Relying on hand-me-downs. He has twin cousins a year older, and we've gotten about 90% of his attire from them...most of it barely worn.
Receiving books instead of cards at a shower. He already loves his library.
Baby Bullet and making food from fresh produce.
Buying carseat/stroller travel system at the PX...tax free!
Ask for the help I really need, don't allow others' opinions to stress me out, don't mentally beat myself up when things didn't go as expected.
Celebration: Through PPA, and all the typical BF challenges, I stuck through it and we're still EBF at 6.5 months. I almost gave up but kept pushing. Reading as much as I can to learn what I want to know but also challenging myself to be in the moment too. Being a good mom (I think I can finally say this now, I think I'm doing a bang up job and it feels good to acknowledge it!).
Must haves: as much as I hate to say it, that effing Rock N Play saved us. It was tough to wean but she wouldn't have slept without it!
not sticking up for myself in the delivery room. I talked to my husband about the fact that I did NOT want people coming in and out and he agreed with me. Then while I was lying down in painful labor he decides to say screw what she wants and brings HIS FATHER into the delivery room. Where I have a catheter and they are rolling me around trying to get to progress so my butt is out. Then his step mother. I was seeing red but really in too much pain to say much. Never again. Next time I'll throw them out if I have to.
my second regret is that my husbands grandmother lives with us. She is nice and everything but honestly I hated being here with her. I spent my first few weeks locked in my room not wanting to see her at all. She is one of those people who really just imposes and tries to take over whenever they can. She acts like she is my daughters parent. Having her here 24/7 has really made me just resent her and not like being around her.
Purchase regrets:
we bought a travel system before she was born and absolutely hated the thing. It was awful. Then at 2 months I got fed-up and bought a new carrier and jogging stroller. Love them but I had a fast growing baby who got very long very fast and her head was touching the top of the carrier at 5 months. So I feel like I wasted the money on the new carrier because we had to switch to a graco 4ever.
loves:
the diaper genie, she sure is a stinky pooper. avent natural bottles. They're the absolute best. Boon lawn drying rack, I love how functional & cute it is.
the rock & play!!!! Literally a life saver. I recommend these things to everyone I see!!! The Graco 4-ever car seat. I love this seat and so does LO! Best purchase yet!
Worked well/proud of:
BREASTFEEDING - holy moly was this harder than anything I could have expected. I am SO glad that I stuck with it, and believe I've been able to because of delivering at a hospital that really supports it and has an amazing lactation consultant (who was able to help me through a flat nipple, and then very sore and chapped nipples). She also told me about a local BF support group that has a Facebook group, which has helped with extra support. We are almost at 7-months strong and I adore this special time with my daughter.
Along that theme I really like my pump (Medela PISA), nursing tanks from Target, and coconut oil.
Love both my ERGO and Infantino baby carriers. My LO LOVES to be carried facing outward, especially if we are in the grocery store, Costco, etc. The carriers also helped me travel with her by air several times by myself. It would have been a lot harder going through the airports without the carriers. It also would have been a lot harder to get household chores done on days when she just wanted to be close to me. I think I'm going to look into getting a Lillebaby Airflow for the summer months.
Best toy by far has been the FP Kick & Play. Boy does she love that thing, even still. I got it for Christmas and ended up giving it to her early (right after Thanksgiving) thinking she would only have a small window when it would interest her. It's still going strong - now she sits up and plays with the toys from that angle, and she loves it.
Love Pampers Swaddlers and Kirkland brand wipes from Costco.
Love Aveeno bath soap/shampoo and that it's lightly scented.
Regrets
I have some minor L&D related regrets - like allowing them to give me Statol (sp?) without really understanding how it would make me feel (like a prisoner in my own body), and not kicking my in-laws out when they interrupted our first BF session and visited during the "golden hour" after she was born. I don't know how I kept my cool, but honestly I regret not asking them to leave.
Do NOT like Kirkland brand diapers, or Walmart brand diapers. She smelled like pee the entire time she wore them. I'm glad Costco has such a great return policy.
Not happy w/ the Britax carseat. First it was recalled, and now I am having issues with the chest part staying clasped. I would look into another brand if I had to do it again.
And the Merlin sleepsuit wasn't so magical for us. I would probably work on sleeping a bit sooner - not in terms of "training" per se but helping her develop ways to fall asleep that don't require my boobs. I like the "no cry sleep solution" book methods.
Agree with OP that I should have consistently given my LO a bottle - I was good about it for the first few months, then I got lazy, and when I got a stomach bug and my supply tanked, well, we had a problem. Fortunately we've worked through that and she now takes a bottle once a day or every other day from someone other than me.
My biggest regret is not getting good pictures of my daughter with my parents right after she was born when they came to visit. My dad got very sick while visiting, and subsequently was diagnosed with very advanced cancer. He passed away a couple of months ago. While I have pictures of them together after he was sick, I have a strong regret of not having really any pictures of them together before he is wearing a hospital gown and has a feeding tube. If I could suggest one and only thing to new moms, it would be to get pictures of those you love with your babies, because you truly don't know when you'll lose them. This makes all of my other regrets seem really trivial, and they are, in comparison.
-Not taking a labor course. My epidural failed and I was unprepared for labor pain.
-Rock 'n play. My baby never really used it; he much preferred his swing. Actually, my cat ended up sleeping in it the most! We call it his expensive cat bed.
-We have a lot of photos/videos of LO, but I'd take even more next time, especially in the hospital.
-Too many white onesies. Never used them much, as I preferred the footed pajamas at the beginning, and when he did wear onesies, I preferred the colorful ones.
-Not using gripe water earlier. It took one night of crying for hours before my husband went out to find something at a 24-hour pharmacy. Colic Calm helped a lot!
Repeats:
-Professional newborn photos done at hospital. Love them!
-Bed-sharing. We've done it from the beginning and it's been great having LO right next to me.
-Staying home with LO; I've loved spending all this time with him.
Repeat products:
-Swing. He uses it every day for naps.
-Bambo Nature diapers. They're eco-friendly, skin-friendly, and top rated. Love them! We get them at a discount via Amazon's monthly delivery program.
-Snuzza monitor. It's great for peace of mind, although I may try a different kind next time (I know a sock monitor came out soon after he was born; I'm sure a sock would be less bulky than the Snuzza...).
-Sophie la girafe. She is too cute and LO loves chewing on her.
-My Brest Friend nursing pillow. It is so much easier to nurse him using this pillow than it is to nurse him without.
-Snoogle pillow. Helped a lot during pregnancy and I still use it.
-Lamaze Clip & Go Firefly Freddie. This was a gift, but LO LOVES it. It was his first favorite toy.
-Ergo carrier. It makes carrying LO much easier and I've been using it for walks more than his stroller.
Proud/happy about:
-LO is over 6 months and I am still breastfeeding! He gets formula, too, but breastfeeding has been challenging for us, so I'm happy he's still getting some breast milk. Not sure how much longer it will last, but I'm happy to have made it this far.
-Getting a memory foam mattress before he was born. We got it due to my hip pain during pregnancy, and it's wonderful. It's made sleep postpartum, no matter how little I get, quality.
-Boon Lawn or Grass drying rack for bottles and pumping supplies. Highly recommend if you have counter space, because it keeps small parts from pumps, etc. from getting lost, falling through draining baskets, etc., and looks cute to boot.
-Gas drops. We don't need them anymore, but they were crucial for his comfort the first three months.
Regret. Not buying enough bottles. So if any of you ladies have extra you want to get rid of let me know. I will gladly take them off your hands.