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November 2016 Moms
banfrog
member
Snarky comebacks requested
banfrog
member
I am expecting my 5th. I am not going to announce my pregnancy and just tell people as it becomes relevant to tell them or if I'm asked. I expect the dumb comment from strangers who don't know any better, but my last pregnancy taught me that those closest feel even more entitled to be rude. I intend to meet these comments with some sass instead of being made to feel like I should be ashamed of our choice to continue our family this time. I would like some help compiling some snarky comebacks.
The 2 main comments I expect are "was it planned?" and "don't you know how that happens?/don't you know what birth control is?"
I was forced to tell a friend I was expecting before I wanted to have to tell anyone and she went straight to the "was it planned?" I wasn't prepared, since she knows the struggles we've had and that we wanted to try for one more.
As it came relevant I told my brother and he went for the "don't you know what birth control is?" I was more on my game this time and quipped back "well I have to start raising up an army to take over the world sooner or later."
Bring on the comebacks
The 2 main comments I expect are "was it planned?" and "don't you know how that happens?/don't you know what birth control is?"
I was forced to tell a friend I was expecting before I wanted to have to tell anyone and she went straight to the "was it planned?" I wasn't prepared, since she knows the struggles we've had and that we wanted to try for one more.
As it came relevant I told my brother and he went for the "don't you know what birth control is?" I was more on my game this time and quipped back "well I have to start raising up an army to take over the world sooner or later."
Bring on the comebacks
Re: Snarky comebacks requested
Let me know what happens!
Awesome Kid #2: Due November 2016!
or for the don't you know how it happens: are you asking me for a birds and the bees talk?
"yeah. And I'm really good at it."
Son, K, 9 | Daughter, C, 5 | Daughter, M, expected November 7, 2016
You do you. Tell them you make cute babies, tell them it's more of a family around the children you have. Tell them 5 is an expert level. Tell them you'll keep going until it's right for you and your family. Tell them you feel like you had one more beautiful little soul to make and meet.
It might not be for everyone? But it's for some. Then stare hard and hold it until they look away. Subject change!
I like your comment about raising an army. What about something about a basketball team? You need 5 players, after all.
- "Don't you know how that happens? / Don't you know what birth control is?"
- "Don't you know what TACT is?"
That's all I got...
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
https://nickandzuzu.com/2016/03/stroller/
You: I've never been sure how to respond to insensitive comments and questions, so I don't know how to answer your question.
And look them right in the eye and keep looking until they apologize.
It would work with family, friends, and strangers. It's not angry or rude, it's honest and let's them know it's never OK to say those things in the future.
IUI #1 Feb 2012= DS1 born 11/2012
Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle)=DS2 born 9/2014
Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle again)= EDD 11/2016
**TW**
Losses:
#1: 8wks MMC 4/16
#2: 13+4 T21 + Hydrops 3/17
Jan 10, 2016: Cycle 16. Femara 5mg + IUI #3 - BFN.
Feb 10, 2016: Cycle 17. No IUI or meds. Taking a break - Natural BFP Mar 5, 2016!!!! EDD Nov 16, 2016
Moving to IVF March 2016
Beta at 10dpo: 21, Beta at 12dpo: 98, Beta at 14dpo: 264, Beta at 16dpo: 745
U/S 6w6d: single beautiful heartbeat of 121bpm - It's a boy!!!!
Nov 3, 2016: Our family became complete. Welcome DS #2.
Have you put any a-holes in their place? Update please! ♥
I didn't get to tell friends because the friend I mentioned in my op already spread it. Needless to say, our friendship is now strained.
We haven't told DH's family yet. We'll see how that goes.
Thanks for asking!
I'd probably innocently say "what do you mean? Are you asking how much I have sex? That's kind of weird" and stare at them creepily until they back down. I liked others' ideas better though.
In particular, one kid is adopted and a different race from the others, but ironically looks the most like her because they're white and the others take after her Filipino husband. That REALLY gets people confused. She's thought about handing out cards explaining that it's awfully hurtful to the kids to hear people ask if they all have the same dad, are they planned, wtfever.
BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16
"Were you?!" Hand on the hip, scrutinizing look,
And if they have the audacity to respond with;
Yes - "well that didn't turn out so well for your parents, now did it?"
No - " well I don't feel like I need to be judged by an accident" (to which if they feel offended, I would respond with the fact that I will always respond to rude questions with rude answers)
I'm not sure/I don't know - "and you know why you don't know? Because nobody ever felt the urge to ask the dumbest question on the planet to a happy expectant mother. If they had, they didn't live to tell anyone about it"
3/6/16 BFP
EDD: 11/14/16
I'm trying to tilt the balance away from stupid people in this world. Evidently it's not working fast enough.
OP-- I'm sorry people suck. I'm anticipating dealing with some amount of crap since thus is our 3rd.
I thought I'd get this question because it's our third, and I really haven't. Maybe two reasons: 1) in Texas, lots of people have big families, 2) I've only told cool people so far, not randoms.
I will say, almost everyone asks "were you surprised!?" Which is basically the same thing as "was this planned?" But (strangely?) I don't care, as long as it's not said in a "I can't believe you're having another baby!" way. Which is OP's problem.
IUI #1 Feb 2012= DS1 born 11/2012
Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle)=DS2 born 9/2014
Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle again)= EDD 11/2016
And truthfully DH was done after 2, so even though I wasn't, if not for an accident I wouldn't be in this position. But...not their business.
MMC 01/26/12
MC 12/25/12, D&C 01/05/13
BFP 03/05/13, EDD 11/12/13. HB 175 @ 9w2d. Its a Girl!
DX with EA/TEF Type C & Tracheomalaysia
MC @ 13wks 01/15/15
BFP 1/11/18, EDD 9/21/18
It's one thing when people are surprised and say something dumb because they don't really know what to say but it's another when the rude questions and comments are made from people who should know better. Even worse, when they say these things "out of concern" for you.
It's really: so you are reserving the right to judge DH and I our choice of continuing to procreate because you couldn't handle as many kids as we have and assume that we can't but are too stupid to use birth control, and you chose to completely ignore the physical proof that we are managing just fine without you.
*Sorry that got ranty. Stupid family drama reared up in the midst of all this and I am ready to be done with them.
––
I'm sorry that you even have to even deal with those reactions. It's..... weird? unsettling? Why should they care about whether or not it was planned? Why should they be nothing but excited?! Now I'm getting defensive for you, haha.
Edit - autocorrect fail