Why do I do this to myself???

DinosaurJumper · March 2016

Had to stop myself just now because I was trolling on an old family friend's facebook who is about to have her fourth baby. She didn't pop up on my feed and I wasn't looking her up to see anything but baby related stuff. So I started to feel depressed and I closed the tab. I'm alright now, but I'm curious if anybody else does this to themselves. Look up pregnancy stuff or stare at their cycle tracking app until they freak out, overthink the moments of TTCAL and then go crazy. Am I alone in this self torture?

penelope4612 · March 2016

Nope you're not alone. I totally lurk places on the TheBump that I don't belong and plan for pregnancies that don't exist yet. FB pregnancies kill me though.

ThePax89 · March 2016

Ugh yes. It's masochistic and I always end up feeling like shit after. I immediately like and unfollow everyone who is pregnant on fb.

silentP · March 2016

Ugh, yes. I was thinking to myself "I bet so and so is pregnant again and/or had another baby." And yup. I was right. Then I had to get upset and angry over a person I never even see anymore. I feel like people are running laps around me when it comes to having children. It sucks. I'm sorry you found yourself in that place, too.

mylittleversailles · March 2016

Aside from one new friend, I don't know *anyone* who is pregnant. Exactly one of my childhood friends has a kid - and I'm not even young. However, if they did, I'm sure I'd do it to myself, as I have in some other regards. I'm really excellent about it now, but it was a lesson I learned over and over again with a particular fling and some old ex-friends - ending in anxiety attacks and days of sadness.

Knottie1459524222 · March 2016

I deleted my FB 3 weeks ago for this very reason. I needed some time away and it's been liberating! Not sure if and when I will ever get it back

I do stare at my cycle tracking app tho, as if it is some sort of a crystal ball and will give me clues to my future. No such luck yet

DinosaurJumper · March 2016

Glad to see I am not alone. I guess it's like playing a sad song knowing it'll make you sad.

@penelope4612 I did that when I first started on The Bump too. Got real depressing real fast. Now I'm here only for the community
@Knottie1458305956 I had to delete my app recently, it was only aiding the madness every time I checked my phone.

HLD3194 · March 2016

funny you posted this because I was just telling my friend how I'm an "emotional cutter"...it's like I test myself to see how much I can stand. I am planning on deleting facebook for a couple weeks to focus on myself, husband and family. Thanks for understanding ladies...people who haven't been in these situations just don't get it

dpjennifer · March 2016

Ugh I am right there with what other have said. @crazypt2285 I like the term "emotional cutter." It is so right on! As months have gone by since MC I've definitely gotten worse with lurking on boards I don't belong on and whatnot. Ugh! I need to stop.

mandi135 · March 2016

I do it, too - I have multiple FB friends who are due soon and quite a few IRL friends who are pregnant or just had a baby. The intentional ones I can usually handle, but there are so many 'oops babies' that just kill me. And yet I go through all their pictures and everything like a crazy person. DH doesn't get why I do it since it upsets me, but I'm glad I'm not alone. I have been limiting my FB time to try to manage it; only letting myself check X times a day.

catiecatp · March 2016

I do this too - I don't have any close friends pregnant but I do have a lot of friends with kids - and one with a newborn. But even worse there was a teen pregnancy story trending and I freakin' clicked on it to read. I need more self control...

MWoodside · March 2016

I don't seek it out, but I am off FB for March (or longer) b/c several of my friends had babies right around when my EDD was for my last loss (2/23/16). It felt really hard for me to see them snuggling sweet newborns in FB photos so I ended up deactivating to focus on my day to day life more and be happy with all the good stuff I have got going on in my life.

Knottie1459524222 · March 2016

@MWoodside I'm dreading my EDD for this miscarriage, I just don't know how I'm going to handle it. My coworker is pregnant, she is due 5 days after my EDD- every day I have to come to work and watch her enjoy her pregnancy and it's so difficult. All I can think about is how I am supposed to be exactly where she is. Her bump just popped out yesterday and she's already rubbing it all day, which even more difficult for me. Just a constant reminder of what I've lost

dpjennifer · March 2016

@Knottie1458305956 Sorry work is so difficult. I completely understand. One of our supervisors due date is about my EDD and every time I see her it's like a blow because that's where I should be and it's super depressing. Thankfully I don't see her every day, so I'm sorry that you have a daily reminder since that is so hard!!!
I also sympathize with the EDD coming up.

jatwal128 · March 2016

I find myself lurking on my old BMB which ends up being a horrible idea. I initially go to see how people are doing and end up getting the awful reminder of how I would be having those same feelings and some new symptoms and planning announcements and it's a giant spiral. I judge myself for doing it every time.

Kay6519 · March 2016

I used to be bad about doing that. But it would make me an emotional mess and caused alot of problems with DH. I do not allow myself to lurk my old BMBs or on pregnant people's FB pages I have no reason to be on.

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