Please tell me I'm being BSC

chloe97 · March 2016

I had a MMC in November at 10 weeks. I woke up today crying because I've just become so convinced that this pregnancy is not progressing, even though my beta was good last week. I'm 5 weeks 3 days today, but I've lost all of my very mild symptoms-boob tenderness, slight nausea after I eat, and fatigue. I go to bed early, but only sleep until like 4 am. Even my crazy dreams seem to be going away. I've had no spotting and a little cramping here and there, but no much else. My first u/s isn't until 4/4 and I've all but convinced myself there will be no heartbeat. How can I make this stop? I so want to be positive this pregnancy, but I just can't shake this feeling that sometime is wrong. All I can think about is how devastating it will be to go through another MMC.

Has as anyone been through this and gotten out the other side?

Wishilivedinflorida · March 2016

I feel like I'm not out of the woods myself since I'm spotting and measuring behind, but I wanted to indulge your request and tell you that you're likely BSC. I've learned that every pregnancy is different! And it's perfectly normal for symptoms to come and go. (Or not have many symptoms at all!) I was convinced that something was wrong because I had no symptoms and I still saw a baby and heartbeat last week! Try to relax, find some distractions (this was key for me), and time will pass. Just remember you are more likely to have a healthy baby than not (even though some days it doesn't feel like the odds will be in your favor). Hugs for you. Today, you are pregnant!

BabyBoyH92016 · March 2016

I'm sorry you are so upset. I spent many hours in my first trimester googling "loss of symptoms at X weeks" (i'll be 17 weeks tomorrow). My pregnancy symptoms overall are pretty mild, and come and go with no rhyme or reason. Please don't look too much into your lack of symptoms. I know how stressful and long the wait is for that first ultrasound, but it will be here soon enough. Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy.

Pompomlove · March 2016

I'm going through this right now. I have moments where I feel like I'm waiting to miscarry. I woke up this morning from a dream that I went to the bathroom an found blood.

My timing is very similar to yours. MMC found at 12+4 in November and currently 6+4. To make my anxiety worse, I blindly followed my OB referral for an early trams vaginal ultrasound last week where we measured 5+2 (at 5+4) and all they found was the gestational sac.

My way to minimize my negative spiraling is to remind myself that it is out of my control and worrying won't help. I'm pregnant today and if a MC occurs, I can worry about that then. For now, I'm pregnant! We never know what goes on inside our bodies. It's like driving ourselves crazy during the 2WW.

The other thing I think about is the fact that life is so prescious and I musn't take anyone or anything for granted. We manage to not walk around fearing other types of loss so I'll try and squash the fear but also realise it is totally understandable after what we experienced.

Sorry the ramble. I hope you feel more comfortable soon and you get your rainbow baby.

UponAStar16 · March 2016

I think we all have our moments/days/weeks in this PGAL process that can make us BSC. I try to remind myself that, when I feel like everything is wrong, that doesn't mean it's necessarily true and it's not a permanent feeling. Unless you have a way to get in early to see your doctor, definitely what was suggested about distractions should help. Either way, what will happen will happen regardless of whether or not we are upset so, try to take care of yourself because you need and deserve it right now

I'm sorry you're having a rough time

chloe97 · March 2016

Thank you everyone! This is helpful and encouraging and what I need to hear. I'm a planner, so I'm actually finding myself already plotting my next move after I lose this baby.

My H is at his wits end with me. He honestly doesn't know what to do when I'm like this and it's putting a severe strain on our marriage because he sees me as pessimistic and I see myself as protecting myself.

@Pompomlove I'm sorry that they didn't find more than the gestational sac. Fx for a heartbeat at you next u/s. When do you go back?

@wishilivedinflorida Yay for a heartbeat!! I'm so glad to hear that everything is going well.

@uponastar16 and babyboyh92016 Thank you for sharing your insights.

carrieandr · March 2016

@chloe97 I thought I was losing this pregnancy at 4 wks (temp drop and loss of symptoms), 5 wks (cramps and cervical pinching/pressure) and 10 wks (spotting). And waking up at 4am has been a symptom for me on and off during the whole pregnancy. I hope that gives you a little reassurance.

Pompomlove · March 2016

I have amp OB appointment today (Australian time) and they've told me they'll send me for a trans vaginal u/s next week sometime. I'm Anxious about today but am just telling myself not to worry until next week...

It's all pretty hard but we are stronger than we know. I remember walking into hospital for my D&C about to lose it and repeating to myself that "I am a farce warrior and I can handle what life throws at me." I'll probably need this mantra over the next few weeks.

Pompomlove · March 2016

We have a heartbeat! One milestone down.

chloe97 · March 2016

Well I got in for a u/s today. They saw a sac measuring 4 days behind, which is the day I lost my symptoms. She wanted to wait until bloodwork came back, but I'm not feeling too optimistic. I got my BFP on 3/8 at 10 DPO. For me to be measuring so late means I got a positive pregnancy test at 2 weeks 6 days or 6 DPO. That's pretty much impossible. I hate being stuck in limbo, I'm just ready to move on. Am I crazy to be giving up hope?

BabyBoyH92016 · March 2016

Ugh I'm so sorry to hear that you are stuck in limbo. Sometimes those super early appointments cause more stress then reassurance. Its just so early and the baby is so tiny. 1 or 2 days can make a huge difference in what you will see on an ultrasound. I truly hope your doctor gives you some good news regarding the blood work.

Pompomlove · March 2016

Don't forget we aren't machines. I think sometimes you can measure behind not only because of discrepancies in O but how long you take to implant. I'm really sorry you're in limbo. It really sucks.

Fx for a growth spurt.

Eta you're only 5+ something? If so, like I was told last week when in limbo, 5 + anything is still very early.

chloe97 · March 2016

I'm 5 weeks and 5 days, measuring 5 weeks, 1 day. I'm basing my ovulation day on the day that the OPK was positive (my BBT charting had me o-ing the day before). I guess I could have ovulated 2 days later making me 5 weeks, 3 days, but if that's the case I still would have gotten a BFP at 8dpo and still be measuring 2 days behind.

Because my symptoms stopped the day after I would have been 5wks,1day I guess it just seems more likely that is when the baby stopped growing than I'm measuring late. I'm hoping for some definitive answers tomorrow with the bloodwork.

Pompomlove · March 2016

I don't know if you saw my other post but we were 5+4 measuring 5+2 with only the gestational sac showing. I googled a lot and found that an empty sac measuring more than 5+4 (not gestational age) is generally where news is bad. I know you are measuring a couple of days smaller against but you aren't out.

Symptoms will fluctuate. I threw up on Monday but haven't since (ultrasound showing h/b was Wednesday.)

also, some tests are incredibly sensitive. Was your line a squinter or strong?? After MC, I was getting squinters to around HCG of 5 or 6.

Not it trying to give false hope at all and I totally understand why you're concerned based on your timeline, it's just not over until it's over.

Either way, I hope you have your answer soon.

chloe97 · March 2016

Thanks @Pompomlove! I appreciate the pep talk. The one "symptom" that I'm having that I've neglected to mention is the same feeling that I had between when my last baby stopped growing and my u/s showing the hearts stopped beating. The feeling is hard to describe, but basically it's a feeling of my hormones dropping? I get the same feeling a couple days into my period- it's like a feeling of relief? I hate to describe it as that because in this case it's anything but relief.

***TW Update*****

My doctors not ready to call it yet, but my HCG should be at 3800 based on the minimum 60% increase every 48 hrs or preferably if it had doubled to be at 9600, it was 2888. My progesterone was 10. It was 14 on 7 DPO. I'm supposed to repeat bloodwork Saturday, but I'm positive that this is it. My cramping is getting a little bit more intense and persistent so I'm hoping things start naturally this weekend. I wish you all very happy and healthy pregnancies. Take care!

carrieandr · March 2016

I'm so sorry things aren't looking good, @chloe97. Hugs to you. I hope you're back here soon.

Pompomlove · March 2016

So sorry for this crappy, stressful situation. Wishing you all the best.

Af2013nl · March 2016

So sorry @chloe97 that your numbers aren't rising as you had hoped. It's such a roller coaster of a journey. Thinking of you!

EmmieAnn22 · March 2016

@chloe97 I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. I'll keep you and your husband in my thoughts. *hugs*. Be kind to yourself.

Please tell me I'm being BSC

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