What to expect at appointment?

JDMRS · March 2016

hello all-I found out Thursday that I had a "missed abortion"-what a terrible term- On Thursday at my first ultrasound baby measured 7 weeks and I should have been about 9-then the bleeding started. Went to the ER and after 7 hours, my husband and I got the bad news-no heart beat. Called the doctor's office this morning and I'm going in Wednesday. There are tons of articles and stories about what to expect at your first OB appointment but not too many about your first miscarriage appointment. None of my close friends have had miscarriages so I can't ask them. I'm just sort of lost or frozen or something-like I'm watching this happen to me from outside of my body. Should my husband come with me? Sorry it's sort of a rambling post-still in shock.

iceandsnowflakes29 · March 2016

I would call and ask if they would be willing to put you in a room to wait. Sitting in the waiting room with a bunch of hugely pregnant women looking at their ultrasound photos while I was actively miscarrying sucked.

I'm sorry for your loss. My final (hopefully) checkup is tomorrow.

My miscarriage went differently than yours. They might give you a scan to make sure you "passed" everything but, I'm not really sure.

SnobunnieMel · March 2016

i am so sorry for your loss. i second checking to wait in a room. I had to go in the day after my d&c for a rhogam injection and sitting in the waiting room was horrific. I started panicking and couldnt stop crying. All the pregnant women around me was too much too soon.

I highly recommend your husband coming. You both may have questions, and even if not, just the support and comfort of him being there is indescribable. They may check another ultrasound, some blood work and help come up with the best course forward for you from here. Hopefully it all goes well, we will be thinking of you wednesday.

fmannino85 · March 2016

I'm so sorry for your loss! Like PP said, I would definitely recommend bringing your husband. When I went to my doctor's appt, they did a vaginal u/s and took blood to get a baseline for my hcg levels. I also had to go back weekly to draw blood to make sure my hcg levels were going down. Once they were below 5 I didn't have to go anymore. I don't think any amount of research would have prepared me question wise for the visit. For my first MC, my dr said it was most likely due to a chromosome abnormality. It's been the hardest experiences for me, but you will find tons of support on this board! Wishing you all the best!

BrightenMySky · March 2016

I am so sorry for your loss. I would suggest that your husband join you, and I definitely agree with the others that you should see if you can wait in a room if possible. When I found out about my loss, my husband was not with me (we thought it would be a routine 11w scan and he was really tired, so I told him to stay home). After I found out from the ultrasound, I was in an exam room and asked to wait for my husband to arrive--they tried to get me to go to the waiting room, as if to make it the worst possible experience...yeah, that didn't happen.

Depending on whether the doctor thinks the miscarriage is complete or not from your bleeding, you might be given the options to let things happen naturally, take a medicine to help move things along (cytotec), or have a surgical procedure (d&c). There is a thread at the top where people have shared experiences with these options. Unless your doctor tells you there is some medical urgency, do not feel like you have to choose right away. It's fine to decide immediately, but also fine to go home, talk to your husband, and think through your options. Sending you hugs.

JDMRS · March 2016

Thank you all so much for answering my question. I am going to bring my husband and I am going to ask to be allowed to wait in a room, especially since my practice requires patients to arrive 30 minutes before their appointment. Last night a visibly pregnant woman got in line behind me at Wawa and I had to leave the store. I swear there are an exponentially greater number of pregnant women and babies around me this week.

@BrightenMySky Thank you for reminding me that I am not required to make an immediate decision if there isn't an immediate need for intervention.

Kirchetta · March 2016

I'm so sorry for you. I just miscarried last Sunday-Monday, after finding out the previous Thursday that there was an irregular heartbeat and there had been no growth. The days between that appointment and my official "confirmation" appointment were the hardest of my life. At my appointment, they confirmed that there had still been no growth and that there was no heartbeat this time. This was through an internal ultrasound. They took blood to check my hormone levels, and then I spoke to the doctor to discuss options. He said we could do a D&E to quickly close this chapter, or that I could wait up to three weeks for my body to miscarry naturally. After three weeks, he feared infection or complications, and would want to do the procedure. After a lot of research and reading boards like this, my husband and I decided to let my body do it naturally. My miscarriage began three days later. I go back in a week for my check up, where they will do another internal ultrasound to check my uterus for retained tissue. I am feeling pretty good physically, so I am hoping that my body completed this miscarriage on its own and I will not need the D&E procedure.

The one question that you definitely must ask is how long you can wait for your body to miscarry naturally. For my doctor, three weeks was his maximum.

Also, I see that you have already decided to take your husband, but that was going to be my other piece of advice. I had great difficulty speaking at my appointment...My husband picked up the slack and had the discussion with the doctor that I couldn't.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

ThePax89 · March 2016

So sorry for your loss. I went alone and it wasn't ideal. Write down your list of questions so that you remember to have them all answered.

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