When to tell people

mj7704 · March 2016

hello ladies,

I am pregnant with my first child. Very excited however nervous. I am 4-5 weeks. When do you I tell family/friends? I am a drinker. Not a heavy drinker. But family and friends know I like to drink my glass of wine or port wine. Recently I've been sick so have had the excuse or not feeling well but in time that excuse will get old. Is it ok to tell people soon? I don't think I will be able to hold this much longer and We want to tell people vs them figuring out on their own!

PugsandKisses · March 2016

Do a search, you will find a plethora of information out there.

But to answer your question, there is no rule of when to tellm each person is different.

The reasoning behind waiting was to protect yourself from the pain of telling people you lost the baby, if you lost him/her.

If you are comfortable in being able to have to 'untell' if necessary, then go ahead.

sarahufl · March 2016

Tell them when you want. Personally, I waited till about 16/17 weeks to tell anyone but H and my sister. I told my parents they could tell extended family/friends around 20. I was about 22 weeks before I told work and that is only because someone asked me.

I think that's a bit later than most people, but I wasn't comfortable till then. Hell, I'm 36 weeks and there are still people I haven't told.

Glow360 · March 2016

I agree with pugsandkisses, best answer.

AandDM2014 · March 2016

DH and I have been trying to have a baby for almost 2 years, so with seeing an RE and going through IUI and IVF I decided to blog about it. That means that the day I got a positive blood test, 10dp5dt, I let everyone who reads my blog know. I don't outright post about it on Facebook, as I know the heartache of seeing other people post pregnancy announcements when we had been trying so hard and spending so much money and not be pregnant, but anyone who clicks on or subscribes to my blog knew. It would have put me right at about 4 weeks, 1 day pregnant. I have had to rescind a pregnancy announcement before as it was discovered that it was not viable, and that was really really hard, but this time around I had a terrific first beta so it hasn't been as bad/scary.

goldie987 · March 2016

We told my in-laws just after 4 weeks because they were in town and we couldn't keep it from them. Called my parents to tell them at 6 weeks amd told my extended family at 14 weeks. I told my boss right when I found out, mostly because I work with teratogens which can cause birth defects and needed to stop being in close contact with those. Otherwise, we're telling people as we get around to it. I'm almost 25 weeks and haven't told a lot of friends who live further away because I just don't see the rush. Them knowing isn't going to make the baby come any faster or anything...

SarahFoley725 · March 2016

I was also a pretty social drinker. I told my family when I found out at 4 weeks. I waited until 6 to tell my friends because I knew they'd call me out on it the first time I passed on a margarita at dinner. We chose to announce on Facebook at 9 weeks which is earlier than most people choose to. Just do what is most comfortable for you. There's no right or wrong answer.

Lemere · March 2016

I agree with all the ladies. It is up to you and what you are comfortable with. Right now only immediate family knows and my boss since I have been dealing with some morning sickness and had to be on early bed rest (which I am now off). I am in the middle of my first trimester. We probably won't tell anyone else until I start to show-and even then I may see if anyone just asks if I am gaining weight! LOL! Enjoy this time. Congratulations and best wishes!

elizabethannette85 · March 2016

I agree with everyone, it's all about what you're comfortable with.

I told my sister before I told my SO; pretty much the second I got my BFP. Told him the next day and my mom the day after that. Announced my pregnancy on Facebook at 8-9 weeks.

fourtsixand2 · March 2016

There is no right or wrong time to tell people, but other than family we waited to 'announce' until after our 12 week sonogram.

kimberdubs · March 2016

We're telling only our immediate families next weekend (7 weeks) and after that only as needed until we're ready. DH is still reluctant to tell family yet, but when I told him how much I/we will need their support if something happened, he agreed. We'll also be having a strict no social media talk with our family members until we are ready to make an announcement ourselves, probably closer to the end of the first trimester. I'm also a social drinker, so we're making excuses for me to be gone or he's going alone to events unless we're sure there's no alcohol at the event.

CaramelF · March 2016

I'm 7 weeks pregnant and we've told his parents, my adopted mom and my best friend. I'm going to have to tell my boss soon so I could get time off for appointments. I'm so excited, it's hard to keep it secret.

sarahufl · March 2016

kimberdubs said:

We're telling only our immediate families next weekend (7 weeks) and after that only as needed until we're ready. DH is still reluctant to tell family yet, but when I told him how much I/we will need their support if something happened, he agreed. We'll also be having a strict no social media talk with our family members until we are ready to make an announcement ourselves, probably closer to the end of the first trimester. I'm also a social drinker, so we're making excuses for me to be gone or he's going alone to events unless we're sure there's no alcohol at the event.

My announcement will come in the form of "we had a baby!" I will be 38 weeks on Monday and not a peep on social media- I recommend it!

VolGirl07 · March 2016

One way to pass on drinks is to say you are on antibiotics since you've been feeling sick anyways. We are waiting to tell close family until 8 weeks and friends/extended family around 12-13 at the end of the first trimester. My best friend is also pregnant and told me at 10 weeks and everyone else at nearly 16. I've known some people that have told the world via social media at 5 and even 7 weeks though so to each their own! I'm just scared to say anything that early in because its so early and miscarriage is more likely in the first trimester. My doctor recommended waiting until at least 8-10 weeks.

britters314 · March 2016

sarahufl said:

kimberdubs said:

We're telling only our immediate families next weekend (7 weeks) and after that only as needed until we're ready. DH is still reluctant to tell family yet, but when I told him how much I/we will need their support if something happened, he agreed. We'll also be having a strict no social media talk with our family members until we are ready to make an announcement ourselves, probably closer to the end of the first trimester. I'm also a social drinker, so we're making excuses for me to be gone or he's going alone to events unless we're sure there's no alcohol at the event.

My announcement will come in the form of "we had a baby!" I will be 38 weeks on Monday and not a peep on social media- I recommend it!

Haha, this is what my husband wants to do once we're expecting. I doubt I'll be able to stop my family from posting, though..

taysun · March 2016

We told some people right away at four weeks, our best friends and his grandfather. Our parents were told at 14ish weeks. I announced at 21weeks on Facebook.

sarahufl · March 2016

britters314 said:

sarahufl said:

kimberdubs said:

We're telling only our immediate families next weekend (7 weeks) and after that only as needed until we're ready. DH is still reluctant to tell family yet, but when I told him how much I/we will need their support if something happened, he agreed. We'll also be having a strict no social media talk with our family members until we are ready to make an announcement ourselves, probably closer to the end of the first trimester. I'm also a social drinker, so we're making excuses for me to be gone or he's going alone to events unless we're sure there's no alcohol at the event.

My announcement will come in the form of "we had a baby!" I will be 38 weeks on Monday and not a peep on social media- I recommend it!

Haha, this is what my husband wants to do once we're expecting. I doubt I'll be able to stop my family from posting, though..

Not their news to share

britters314 · March 2016

@sarahufl My parents would be becoming grandparents for the first time. I think it's also their news that they would like to share with their friends. I can completely understand them wanting to tell others about it.

TheBorg7of9 · March 2016

britters314 said:

@sarahufl My parents would be becoming grandparents for the first time. I think it's also their news that they would like to share with their friends. I can completely understand them wanting to tell others about it.

Of course they want to share, but it's still your baby and your decision who to tell and when.

Alygohome · March 2016

Other than family I wait until my NT scan is back. So 12-14 weeks.

taysun · March 2016

britters314 said:

@sarahufl My parents would be becoming grandparents for the first time. I think it's also their news that they would like to share with their friends. I can completely understand them wanting to tell others about it.

If you care about it, talk to them. My mother announced for me and while it was annoying, I never told her she couldn't so I decided to let it go. I did however tell her in the future I would like her to let me know before posting pictures of DD on social media.

sarahufl · March 2016

britters314 said:

@sarahufl My parents would be becoming grandparents for the first time. I think it's also their news that they would like to share with their friends. I can completely understand them wanting to tell others about it.

Oh, that is great if you want them to share. But if you don't, they need to understand.

This is my parent's fifth grandchild and I made them wait 22 weeks to tell any of their friends with the strict rule that nothing goes on social media. I know it was killing my mom because 4 of her friends were also expecting grand children at the same time and I'm sure she wanted to tell people.

But she didn't because I asked her not to.

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