LO is a Horrible Sleeper — The Bump
Babies: 6 - 9 Months

LO is a Horrible Sleeper

Ok, I have had this issue since LO was born, he is an unbelievably light sleeper. When we brought him home I would swaddle and nurse him to sleep and about 10 mins or so of him sleeping I would try to put him in his crib. He always woke up and once he did this he was fully awake until I nursed him to sleep again. After a while I would try to put him in his crib while he was drowsy and tried to get him to fall asleep on his own but he would not. I let him cry it out once and it went on for over an hour. I do not want to go through that again. So to save my sanity and to get any kind of sleep I just started co-sleeping. My LO is almost 8 months now and the entire time we have had a horrible, horrible time sleeping. He has only slept for a 4 hour stretch once in this whole time, the rest of the time he wakes every 2 hours. He will not sleep unless I am right there and he is in my arms. If I am out of his eyesight for even a second during the evening he screams (I'm a BF-ing SAHM). I have tried to have my DH, my mother and my mother-in-law all to help getting LO out of my arms and into a crib and they have had no success either. Another issue is what time he sleeps. At first I tried about 7:30 as a set bedtime with a little bath and a book. LO was way too excited after the bath and book, woke every hour and stayed awake at 4. So I stopped the bath and just tried 7:30. Same issue. Since then I tried an hour later till I finally got to 11 (which I feel is way too late for a baby). If he lays down at 11 he only wakes every 1.5-2 hours until 7-8. He also will not let me move even slightly while we are in bed. If I move at all he wakes and starts screaming. I feel I am reaching my breaking point with so little sleep, bad sleep when I do sleep and 0 time to myself. I have read all over and cannot seem to find anyone that has a LO like this. He is a fairly happy baby during the day but once he gets tired all bets are off. What I wanna know is, are there other moms out there with this issue and has it gotten any easier or am I doomed to wait until he's 24+ months for it to get better? Me and my DH have both tried to let him CIO but he gets so riled up he gets very red, sweaty, tears every where, snotty nose and almost pukes. Idk if it's separation anxiety or what but I need a little relief.

Re: LO is a Horrible Sleeper

  • How old was he when you've tried CIO and which CIO method did you use? Do you EBF or have you offered bottles?
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  • I tried at 1 month, 4 months, 6 months and again this month. At first I tried the whole, "only touching and reassuring but not actually picking him up" approach but when that still didn't work at 6 months I tried the just letting him cry until he tired himself out and that is when he had the meltdown. I don't really know about any other methods. I do EBF because he has refused all nipples (even pacifiers) since day one. When I try to put a bottle in his mouth he chokes and gags on it.
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  • I tried at 1 month, 4 months, 6 months and again this month. At first I tried the whole, "only touching and reassuring but not actually picking him up" approach but when that still didn't work at 6 months I tried the just letting him cry until he tired himself out and that is when he had the meltdown. I don't really know about any other methods. I do EBF because he has refused all nipples (even pacifiers) since day one. When I try to put a bottle in his mouth he chokes and gags on it.

    You really should read up on some other methods because there are plenty.

    I'm betting at this point your LO is very, very attached to you and he knows that no matter what, he just has to cry and you'll cave in. Being attached isn't a bad thing but you definitely have to lay down some ground rules for a new routine/schedule and stick to it. If want any chance in hell of starting to get good sleep you have to be 100% consistent night after night.

    What are naps like? Where does he sleep for naps?

    From my experience, if a baby doesn't nap well then night time sleep is complete garbage. It sounds like sleep started out bad, probably because you attempted the crib and babies hate sleeping flat. Neither of my kids could go in their crib until around 4 months old.

    At this point you can't just leave your LO to cry in his crib when you think he should go to bed because that will just confuse him. He has always slept with you so it's going to take hard work to break him of that. You have to determine what his bedtime should be and try not to put him down when he's overly tired. My youngest is now 16 months old but she has always gone to bed between 6-7pm. That's just what works for her.

    This is tough because of the age he is at but I suggest trying other sleep training methods like the no cry sleep solution, doing interval checks, sleep lady shuffle, something! But nothing will work without consistency.  

    beemaya83
  • He will only nap in my arms. I've managed to get him into the crib a handful of times and every time he only slept for about 5 mins after I set him in and was horribly cranky afterwards. If I hold him he sleeps for about 1-2 hours about 2-3 times a day.
    I will check out the methods you mentioned.
    beemaya83
  • He will only nap in my arms. I've managed to get him into the crib a handful of times and every time he only slept for about 5 mins after I set him in and was horribly cranky afterwards. If I hold him he sleeps for about 1-2 hours about 2-3 times a day.
    I will check out the methods you mentioned.


    In your arms?! Ugh. That's not good for either of you. I feel your frustration.

    Can you try a swing? That worked really well for my first kid until he got used to the crib. Or if not a swing, something else that's angled? It's tough because at that age I'm sure he's mobile so you are pretty limited with where you can put him that's safe.

    Are you keeping the room dark? Using white noise or maybe a loud fan?

    I have a feeling you are going to have to bite the bullet and be tough about this if you want something to work.

    beemaya83
  • Yeah, even though it is so sweet and I love cuddling with him, I can't use his nap time to get anything else done or get rest myself so it's a little frustrating.

    I did not try a swing because my pediatrician told me it was dangerous for him to sleep in when he was so young and now that he's older he does not fit into the swing anymore. I could see if we can get something different when we get the money. 

    I have been keeping the room dark and I have used a small fan on low and a white noise machine my mother in law gave me that worked with her other grandbaby. Neither seemed to make much of a difference, although maybe once I can get him to get in the crib I can use them to get him to stay.

    I do feel like I am running out of options, I've looked up several things on the web and read articles and asked other mothers I know but nothing has worked.
  • Yeah, even though it is so sweet and I love cuddling with him, I can't use his nap time to get anything else done or get rest myself so it's a little frustrating.

    I did not try a swing because my pediatrician told me it was dangerous for him to sleep in when he was so young and now that he's older he does not fit into the swing anymore. I could see if we can get something different when we get the money. 

    I have been keeping the room dark and I have used a small fan on low and a white noise machine my mother in law gave me that worked with her other grandbaby. Neither seemed to make much of a difference, although maybe once I can get him to get in the crib I can use them to get him to stay.

    I do feel like I am running out of options, I've looked up several things on the web and read articles and asked other mothers I know but nothing has worked.


    How long are you letting him cry when you do leave him? Usually parents give up too quickly and that can be the problem.

    Also, are you getting out some and leaving your LO with your H so you can get a break, but more importantly your LO gets used to having someone besides you care for him?

  • I let him cry for about 30 mins and once an hour but it was horrible. 
    I keep trying to get out more but H says he can't take care of LO like I can and since he is a BF baby he needs me. LO has not really taken to solids so that has been hard as well. I have demanded an hour to myself before H goes to work but it never feels like enough.
  • I let him cry for about 30 mins and once an hour but it was horrible. 
    I keep trying to get out more but H says he can't take care of LO like I can and since he is a BF baby he needs me. LO has not really taken to solids so that has been hard as well. I have demanded an hour to myself before H goes to work but it never feels like enough.
    Whoa, whoa, whoa. Huh?! Husband needs to step up and let you have more of a break. Besides, your LO should be used to other people, including dad, taking care of him. Breastfeeding isn't a prison sentence...you can still have freedom. You should talk to your H.
    HeartxshapedxboxieSynnovus
  • I have a 6.5 month old and am in the same sleep situation! I'm also a BF SAHM and I have let him CIO up until he starts getting sick (around an hour). And it's like the longer I leave him the longer it takes to calm him down after I do pick him up....it like energizes him instead of wearing him out. I have tried the pick up put down method, gone in and not picked up but soothed every so often, etc. I can sometimes get a half hour out of him for naps in the crib so long as I get him sound asleep first then put him in, on his side, with a binky as soon as he cries when I put him down. I have a projector mobile/sound machine but I don't think it's makes a difference. As soon as he wakes up he gets on all fours (and now starting to pull himself up to stand) and starts screaming. I am wearing down too and so jealous of people who can actually use their baby monitors....I feel like ours are just going to waste! So in other words, your not alone.
    Heartxshapedxboxie
  • @Bigboobsmcgee  you are right, I am going to talk to H this weekend and tell him how confined I feel. I am so thankful for your advice! Hoping he responds well. It really does feel like a prison sentence at times.

    @tabbiekat13 I am so glad you responded! I hate that you're going through this but so happy you say you know what I am talking about! Having someone who is going through the same thing makes it a lil easier even if its a super hard thing you would not wish on anyone. Here's to hoping we both get a break soon!
    Bigboobsmcgeetabbiekat13
  • @Bigboobsmcgee  you are right, I am going to talk to H this weekend and tell him how confined I feel. I am so thankful for your advice! Hoping he responds well. It really does feel like a prison sentence at times.

    @tabbiekat13 I am so glad you responded! I hate that you're going through this but so happy you say you know what I am talking about! Having someone who is going through the same thing makes it a lil easier even if its a super hard thing you would not wish on anyone. Here's to hoping we both get a break soon!

    I'm glad! IMO, men need to be told exactly what to do with babies otherwise they just assume mom has it handled. Good luck to you :)
  • You are so right! I keep thinking its obvious that I am struggling a bit but H thinks I have it down lol. Thank you so much for all your help!
    Bigboobsmcgee
  • @Bigboobsmcgee  you are right, I am going to talk to H this weekend and tell him how confined I feel. I am so thankful for your advice! Hoping he responds well. It really does feel like a prison sentence at times.

    @tabbiekat13 I am so glad you responded! I hate that you're going through this but so happy you say you know what I am talking about! Having someone who is going through the same thing makes it a lil easier even if its a super hard thing you would not wish on anyone. Here's to hoping we both get a break soon!

    I'm glad! IMO, men need to be told exactly what to do with babies otherwise they just assume mom has it handled. Good luck to you :)
    Yes yes yes men need step by step detailed instructions!  My husband is home alone with baby 1 or 2 nights a week while I work. I tried to tell him what to do and he just snapped at me "I'm not stupid I can take care of a baby!" He had 1 horrible night after another and after a couple weeks I was like uh you ready to humble yourself and listen to my instructions? ? Then he started having better nights...until the sleep regression...and again now with teething and outgrown the bassinet thing. He's been in his crib for an hour.  Napped good today so I figured it was a good night to try again with the crib. Definitely feeling sleep deprivation pains! 
    Bigboobsmcgee
  • momma2charmomma2char member
    edited March 2016
    I'm sorry you're going through this :( I did the pick-up/put-down method with my girl (at 5months) as she was waking every 45min-1h for 2 months at night and fighting naps like crazy (kicking punching scratching screaming). I started by getting her used to nursing 20-30minutes before sleeping to break that sleep association and whenever she would fuss I would stick her thumb in her mouth to show her she can suck on that to self-soothe (if you don't mind having a thumb sucker- I found that if she can soothe herself, I don't care if she's a thumb sucker for a couple years). She was not happy with the pick up put down method the first night but within 2 days she was going down in her crib without a fuss wide awake and would fall asleep on her own because we taught her that her crib is for sleeping- I won't let her nap anywhere else at home unless we're on a walk or in her car seat during car rides. I'm not sure if it would work for you but I thought I'd mention it! I felt better too that I was there while she was crying to show her that it's okay to cry- it's a hard thing to learn how to sleep by yourself. There will be a lot of tears like in CIO, just with the added comfort of you being there while baby figures it out. These are the rules I followed here:

    https://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/01/pupd-tbw.html?m=1

    I did however hold her for a few extra seconds after she stopped crying to give her some kisses :smile: 

    ETA: if you think this method might work for you guys, I would really recommend making sure your hubby is on board and that he helps out with this sleep training because this method is honestly so exhausting 
    Heartxshapedxboxievirginiaunicorn11
  • I'll give this a shot thank you!
  • My son was exactly like this. He only slept in my arms during the day except he would fall asleep in his car seat and stay asleep if the car was moving. I drove around my neighborhood a lot! We co-slept at night and he woke every 2 hours ( a least) to nurse. He was about 2 before I could get him to sleep during the day and sneak away during nap time. I tried everything and finally just gave up. I swear I was happier once I just realized it was just his personality and nothing I was going to do really changed it. Fortunately my daughter is a lot more laid back, but she is definitely not a great sleeper either.
    I know it's so hard, but the time does pass quickly and he will sleep one day I promise!

    imageimage

    TTC #1 January 2009
    January 2010 SA results: Count 16 million, Motility 40%, Morphology 2%
    January 2010- Surprise BFP! DS born 10/1/2010 :)
    January 2013 TTC #2
    September 2013 Repeat SA: Count= 1.7 million, Motility= 24%, Morphology= 2%
    November 6th 1st Appointment with RE: diagnosed with severe MFI
    Testing to try to determine a cause & possible treatment for MFI
    CD 3 blood work for me. RE does not want to repeat my HSG/lap at this point,
    but may want to before moving forward with any fertility treatments.
    After seeing the uro, DH is currently taking lots of supplements and clomid to try to boost his count. We will have a repeat SA in February to see if it works.
    Follow up SA numbers are: Count= 4 million, Motility= 40%, Morphology= 1%
    Uro wants us to have another follow up SA 5/9 to see if we see further improvement than we are back to the RE to make a game plan.

    SA 5/9/2014 Count: 12 Million, Motility: 60%, and Morphology 2%. We will be doing iui #1 in late June

    IUI #1 6/28 clomid + ovidrel, post wash count 3 million total sperm= BFN

    IUI # 2 7/21 clomid+ ovidrel. post wash count 900,000 total sperm= BFN

    IVF planned for early November- cancelled due to cyst

    December IVF #1- 22 eggs, 20 mature,16 fertilized

    12/9 Transferred 1 4AA Blast, 6 frosties


    *****Everyone is welcome******

    Heartxshapedxboxiekdoak2015
  • My sister's baby was exactly like yours. When he turned 6 months she did the FERBER CIO method. It worked miracles for her. Try it out. As prior posts said, consistency is key. Will it be easy? No! But I think he knows how to get away with things by crying. Its so hard not to cave in.

    I currently co-sleep with my almost 9 month old son. He used to tolerate the crib but now hates it. He does go down easily in my bed and will only wake up once through the night. This works for us now, as he gets a little older, I'll try to put him back in his crib. Since this momma is getting her sleep, I give zero fu**cks about those who say co-sleeping is a no no.

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    Heartxshapedxboxie
  • beemaya83 said:

    My sister's baby was exactly like yours. When he turned 6 months she did the FERBER CIO method. It worked miracles for her. Try it out. As prior posts said, consistency is key. Will it be easy? No! But I think he knows how to get away with things by crying. Its so hard not to cave in.

    I currently co-sleep with my almost 9 month old son. He used to tolerate the crib but now hates it. He does go down easily in my bed and will only wake up once through the night. This works for us now, as he gets a little older, I'll try to put him back in his crib. Since this momma is getting her sleep, I give zero fu**cks about those who say co-sleeping is a no no.

    Amen sister. Do what works.
    Heartxshapedxboxie
  • I am so glad to hear  this! I am having the same experience with my daughter and it's nice to know I'm not alone.  I have never been able to put her down awake and have her go to sleep.  We also don't let her cry long because she is beyond persistent and it only makes it worse in the end. 

    For naps she will usually fall asleep either while nursing or having a bottle, or in the car seat, stroller, or baby carrier.  She prefers to sleep in our arms but we usually  put her in her crib once she is asleep. Some days she naps for like a half hour, other times she'll go for up to 3-4 hours.

    At night she will only nurse or bottle feed to sleep (no we don't lay her down with the bottle I am aware of bottle rot) and she completely rages if we try any other method.  Like you, we have tried different routines and bedtimes to see if anything is more successful.  Nothing has made a difference. we started putting her to bed when we go to bed at 10 or 11 because then at least she would not get up for good until around 9:30, despite waking several times during the night to nurse.  She has slept through the night 4 times ever.  For awhile she was on a good run of only waking 1-2 times a night and then going back to sleep quickly (with nursing) and then having a good solid stretch from 3am until the morning.  However, in the last 2 weeks she will not stay asleep AT ALL and wakes every time we try to crib her.  She also wants to comfort suck all through the night and so remains very restless as she wants to keep that nip in her mouth all the time.  She also refuses a pacifier.  She did take the soothies for the first couple months of her life (which was a life saver) and then one day decided she hates them. In fact, it sends her in to complete rage if you try to sneak one in.  I am hoping this just has to do with teething, she has 4 teeth coming in at once, ouch.  I gave her teething tablets last night with the baby orajel and that did nothing.  This is also the age of separation anxiety which probably is adding to it.

    Now she has been spending more time back in our bed then the crib, we are just to exhausted to do anything else.  My husband tries to walk her around or rock her when she wakes up but she wants one thing and one thing only...the boob!  I try not to worry about it too much because at the end of the day it's only natural that a baby should want to be with their mom all the time at this age.  I'm hoping she will naturally out grow it.  And I just keep reminding myself that "the days are long but the years are short".  One day she will be all grown up and i'll be missing her in my arms.

    SO yeah, I don't have any advise but just know you aren't alone! 

    Heartxshapedxboxie
  • @RandiCallow Its always nice to know that you're not alone! And you're right I have been trying to tell myself that these days will be gone one day and my LO will not want me around so much. Good luck girl!
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