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BornReady · March 2016

It's Friday, again! Does anyone else feel like TTC time goes simultaneously super fast and super slow? I feel like I'm constantly waiting to do something, but the months just fly by.

What is everyone up to? Any big plans? Any little plans?

I am headed to my parent's for the weekend about an hour and a half away. My brother is visiting with his family and there is also a huge pop-up consignment sale going on and I love that sort of thing. I feel like so many clothes are so poorly made these days, that I find the best quality consignment or on Ebay.

On an amusing note, I went to drop a cake off at my grandfather's nursing home yesterday. He and a family friend both have a room together, but when I arrived both were sleeping in their wheelchairs and didn't wake up when I tried (Still alive though!). Anyways, I wrote a note and left the cake on my grandfather's table in front of him with a note for them both to enjoy the cake, two plates and two forks. Well apparently my 88 year old grandfather woke up and ate the entire cake before his roommate could have a chance. The roommate sent me a text message that my grandfather had laughed the whole day, proud of his feat and happy to have had the cake to himself. I hope I"m still eating entire albeit small cakes at 88.

Have a good weekend everyone!

MooFish2364 · March 2016

@BornReady that story about your grandfather is halarious! I hope I'm that spunky when I'm his age. I love how he and a friend get to share a room together. I picture them getting alongnblike college kids in a dorm :-)

I don't have any plans yet this weekend...just playing it by ear. My niece will be around this weekend so I'm looking forward to spending some time with her.

I I hope everyone has an awesome weekend!

roper2617 · March 2016

TWW seems like it's taking forever, but at the same time I can't believe I'm half through already. 7 down 7 to go!

We're still undecided about our weekend plans. Some friends invited us to party at their house in celebration of a birthday, but that requires us to drive 2 hours and I'm not feeling like hanging out with a bunch of drunk people for a second weekend in a row. I'm so tired I just want to sleep all weekend.

@BornReady your grandfather sounds like quite the character. I think that is the most hilarious thing! Enjoy your consignment shopping and spending time with family

@MooFish2364 enjoy time with your niece

catiecatp · March 2016

No plans for this weekend (again) - job application stuff (for the position I most want out of all of the ones I've been applying for) and I might try to see a close friend for coffee or lunch. TWW is taking forever - and I have spotting today (7DPO) which is simultaneously exciting (because I had it when I ended up getting a BFP) and scary (because I get a day of spotting before AF - and beyond wanting this to be our cycle, I also at least want a 10-11 day LP).

@BornReady - I love your grandpa's sense of humour

@moofish2364 - enjoy your time with your niece - I miss mine

@roper2617 - drunk people weird me out and/or annoy me

Edit - because it reverted to an old draft and wasn't what I had decided I wanted to say - sorry - early morning

megsbrock · March 2016

@BornReady that is an awesome story about your grandfather. I love it!! On that note, tonight I am hosting a birthday dinner for my grandmother's 88th birthday. She is actually aware of our TTC woes and she keeps telling me that it took her a while to have a baby...and then 5 more followed "fast and furious". Hahaha.

Then I'm heading to a 90's theme surprise birthday party - in a Union Jack dress as Ginger Spice. Heh. @roper2617 I feel you on being too tired to hang around drunk people. My party is only 15 mins from my house so I am going to hop in the car and home to my bed as soon as I've had enough. Even if you sleep all weekend - that sounds delicious and enjoy it!

@MooFish2364 enjoy your niece!

mylittleversailles · March 2016

Made rainbow memorial cookies for my best friend. They worked out well. I haven't ovulated yet, but I think we're going to have to give up on SMEP because I burst out crying after sex yesterday. It's too much pressure this time around. Skipping a day, possibly O day, but I'm so tired.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/1m/t4ym94cndm9t.jpg

In the plus column, a dear darling friend's band is poised for really great things (They're CBC darlings at this point) and they just released their first video from their sophomore album and I'm really proud and excited for her. They're playing SXSW this weekend and it's just so cool that I've been able to see them have so much success, doing what they really love.

Getting set to fly to Montreal for the weekend this afternoon! Staying with DH's old coworker. They're making us dinner when we get in, which is so sweet - I cook so much no one ever thinks to make ME dinner (except husband). I'm a bad, nervous, horrible traveller, so I'm freaking out already. However, I have many packages of cupcakes to give as gifts and I'm very pleased I got it all done and packed already.

Saturday, we'll go for croissants and then meet someone I had a fling with and his girlfriend - In a fun twist, they've become some of our dearest friends over the years. I like to keep awesome people in my life, even if I've had sex with them before. Getting to the best farmers' market in the country in the afternoon. Fancy dinner with another friend at a wonderful vegan restaurant called ChuChai that does Thai food.

Sunday, we've got a brunch booked. We'll get bagels to go home with and hang around our old neighbourhood, Mile End, until it's time to get back to the airport.

@BornReady ADORABLE

@MooFish2364 Take it easy and enjoy your weekend!

@roper2617 I never want to hang out with drunk people, so I sympathize. I hope you get some rest and have at least a little fun.

mylittleversailles · March 2016

@catiecatp FX!!

@megsbrock Fun theme (I still hate parties)! I identified pretty hard with Ginger at the age of thirteen, but as a grown-up, I can't exactly see why. I hope you have a great time!

SnobunnieMel · March 2016

Actually excited for the weekend! Got the all clear from my OB yesterday, and we've only had "fun time" once since my BOF Jan 22 because of MS and the loss, so got some things planned for the next few days.

We are also going to walk a plot of land we are thinking about buying. It's 1 1/4 acres on the side of one of the bigger mountains here in Phoenix with an amazing view where we would build in a few years.

zrain · March 2016

***TW BFP***

Oh my goodness....after wishy washy squinters and a negative digital yesterday (with very diluted pee) I got a real second line on a wondfo this morning. I'm in shock. Half of me is over the moon excited, and the other half is thinking cynical thoughts about how long it will last this time. Every happy thought seems to have an "if I don't lose this one too" tacked on the end. I am willing myself to hold on to the happy parts and make the doubtful/sad/scared parts go away.
I really don't know what I would do without all of you. I feel like you ladies are what kept me sane and hopeful through the loss itself and the anxiety of TTCAL. No one in my real life gets it like you do. I'm so grateful that I got to know all of you and I hope to see everyone on PGAL soon!

As for my weekend plans, I'll be calling my midwife today so I can get in and get some reassurance, and then I'll probably work on keeping the fear at bay. My DH's grandpa's funeral is tomorrow and I work Sunday so I'll at least be distracted.

@BornReady I love that story about your grandpa! When my grandma was really old and bed bound, the one thing she still loved doing was eating, especially sugar-free pie. I hope have a wonderful visit with your family, and have fun shopping!!

@MooFish2364 Have fun with your niece!

@roper2617 I hear you on not wanting to drive all that way to hang out with drunk people. Sleeping all weekend sounds amazing

@catiecatp I hope the spotting is a good sign! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you

@megsbrock 90s themed birthday party sounds fun! It's silly, but I still feel like the 90s were like 10 years ago

@reneeannemm Skipping a day sounds like a good idea. Just like taking a mental health day off work, sometimes you need a day or so off TTC. As always, your cookies look amazing! I hope the traveling goes fine and you have a good trip!

mylittleversailles · March 2016

@zrain CONGRATULATIONS (I can't say I won't miss you around here terribly, but I am so so happy for you)!

shae86 · March 2016

@zrain Big, big congrats and hugs to you! Such wonderful news.

@reneeannemm your comment about keeping awesome people in your life even if you've had sex with them cracks me up! I get along quite well with DH's old high school girlfriend. We're friends on FB and follow each other on Instagram. I couldn't care less that she used to sleep with my husband. Ha!

@megsbrock That sounds so fun! I was obsessed with the Spice Girls in the 6th grade. My best friend at the time had a Spice Girls themed 12th birthday party, and she got to be Ginger while I was Scary. I hope you have a blast!

My only plan this weekend is to attend a good friend's bridal shower tomorrow. It happened to fall on the same day as another friend's baby shower. I'll be sending a gift to her, but I am secretly so relieved to have a good reason not to attend. I'm not quite ready for that.

Oh, and I have the day off of work today. One of the perks about working for a wine company is that my bosses declared the day after St. Patrick's Day a paid holiday. And for once, I'm not hungover. Going to get my nails done and do a little shopping later.

amberruka · March 2016

@zrain congratulations!!!!! @catiecatp fx for you!!!

I just got my new labs back this morning and happy to report my circulating thyroid hormones are much better-just over the high end of normal. My brain TSH is still taking a bit to catch up, but it means things are coming around. I can't get into the endocrine yet, they are only taking voice mails....but I can treat myself! :-) And I just texted DH to let him know we can stop condom sex! AF has been weird and super light so just gonna take it easy for awhile and see what happens.

@megsbrock that sounds so awesome! Once for Halloween I worked in a hospital and we went as the Spice Girls after the breakup.

catiecatp · March 2016

@zrain - congratulations!

dpjennifer · March 2016

@BornReady Yes about the time! I feel both like TTC is taking forever as I am in my 5th cycle post MC, and yet that my MC feels like it happened only weeks ago!
Also, enjoyed your grandfather’s story! So cute!

@reneeannemm Beautiful cookies! Sorry your SMEP and TTC has you feeling a lot of pressure. Hope you are having a better day!

@megsbrock Enjoy your party!

@zrain Congrats!

I’m going to a Sweet 16 party for my Cousin’s daughter. Other than that I plan to just get some cleaning done around the house, hopefully work on some of my sewing projects, and relax and enjoy the weekend.

penelope4612 · March 2016

@BornReady - have fun shopping! And happy birthday to your grandfather, that's a great story!

@MooFish2314 - have fun with your niece! My two nieces are awesome (and hilarious). How old is she?

@roper2617 @catiecatp - I'm right there with you - CD5 and it feels like forever. I've been having cramps (do I have these every month?) and have been googling whether or not implantation can happen this early (no, probably not). I can't believe I have another 9 days to go. @catiecatp - I hope the spotting is IB and not AF! Fx!

@megsbrock - have fun at your party! Feel free to post pics of your outfit

@reneeannemm - those cookies look amazing. Were they hard to make? And I totally feel you on the "too much sex" thing. It gets old, fast.

@zrain - congrats! H&H 9 mos!

@snobunniemel - Congrats on the all clear! And @amberruka - that's great news on the thyroid front! I was just benched while waiting to get my hypothyroidism sorted out.

@shae86 - I'm so jealous of your day off! I hope it was relaxing!

@dpjennifer - I'm going to clean this weekend too. Hope you also get that relaxing in.

As for me, date night with DH tonight, then he is at a conference tomorrow so I'm going to clean the apartment and have some much needed time to myself. No plans for Sunday yet. I am geared up for a good weekend - the last few weekends I've had a list of work to do (that I never got done, but I spent a lot of time feeling bad about not doing it) and I finally managed to get it done during this past week and am pretty pumped to not have anything hanging over my head this weekend.

beff12 · March 2016

@zrain woooo!!!

@BornReady that made me laugh so hard. I love old people more than anything.

Nothing super exciting this weekend. I got my hair cut today...it feels nice to do something for myself every now and then! DH is busy tomorrow morning, so I'll just be messing around the house. We have been invited over to our friends' house for dinner tomorrow night, so that'll be fun! AF is late as I am currently 4,000,000 dpo (or maybe 15 dpo, but let's be honest, it feels the same!) and I'm going to do my best to not go crazy. It's not normal for me to be late.

Now I have this odd desire to go bake a cake and let a senior friend eat all of it!

AL_TwinCities · March 2016

BornReady said:

Does anyone else feel like TTC time goes simultaneously super fast and super slow? I feel like I'm constantly waiting to do something, but the months just fly by.

^^ this. Yes, I feel like all in doing is waiting! Your grandpa sounds adorable BTW.

@zrain congratulations!! Very exciting! I hope this is your rainbow!

@reneeannemm that's so great about your friend's band! And have fun in Montreal!

@snowbunniemel that land sounds beautiful. You'll have to share a pic!

@amberruka woo hoo for condom-less sex!

@beff12 have you taken a test??

We are working on refinishing the floors in our bedroom, so we have prep work to do before we can sand. We also are taking my niece to the Science Museum on Sunday as her birthday present, so that will be fun. My parents are in town too, so we'll be having everyone over for dinner Sunday. And I need to fit in some work as well. Busy weekend!

beff12 · March 2016

@AL_TwinCities I feel like I've peed on every stick on the east coast! Haha they've all been negative. There were a couple that I couldn't quite decide on. I'd like to blame a batch of bad wondfos or something but I'm not sure that's how it works.

Aera11 · March 2016

Congrats @zrain!! I love seeing these BFP's, they give me hope

FX for a healthy 9 months!

My dad and DH's dad both had birthdays last week, but I was sick and we postponed celebrations until this week. We went out to dinner and went 'feather bowling' (I guess popular in Belgium in the 40's). Other than that, no real big plans for tomorrow (thank God). I feel like we had our loss and didn't see anyone socially for over a month and then we re-entered the social world and have been going non-stop...how is it already mid-March?!
@BornReady I am with you, TTC time is a weird fast/slow fast/slow feeling. I am having brunch Sunday with a friend who is getting married in July to help her make some plans, so that will be a good distraction.

Aera11 · March 2016

@reneeannemm those are amazing! Pinterest or your own creation? Recipe please!

roper2617 · March 2016

@zrain yay!!! congratulations!

@reneeannemm the cookies look beautiful. Taking a break from TTC sounds like a good idea, sometimes it's just too much, and it sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment. Enjoy your Montreal trip

I agree with keeping awesome people around! The person's house we were invited to this weekend is actually a person that I had a fling with at one point. He and his fiancé are now dear friends of ours.

@megsbrock 90s themed!?! That would seriously make me so much more likely to go out lol! Hope you have a fun time!

@catiecatp FX! Our cycles are so similar! I'm also hoping for at least a 10-11 day LP. I also get spotting a day before AF, so I understand how it's exciting and scary all at once to see the spotting

@shae86 um...is your company hiring because they sound amazing!

@Penelope4612 sounds like this weekend will be nice and relaxing, enjoy!

@beff12 I'm rooting for you! You're not out yet.

queenklau · March 2016

@zrain woohoo! Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy!

mylittleversailles · March 2016

@shae86 Haha, yes. It's the truth. Some I keep, some I would rather I'd never see again.

@penelope4612 and @Aera11 They were SO hard to make. I'm very adept in the kitchen and these took me all day; I did make a little harder on myself because of the shape I chose, but yes. Here's the recipe, though I used my own (vegan) cookie dough. There are easier rainbow desserts, like my fruit tart or a cupcake and they are all just as showstopping imo.

Our trip, unfortunately, got postponed. We arrived at the airport about two hours early, only to find our flight had been postponed two hours. We went to grab dinner, but there's nothing but awful glass condos, so it wasn't a good one. We sat at the airport from 5:30 until 8:45 when we realized boarding hadn't started. Looked and saw the flight had been postponed another hour, without any announcement. And only ours. All other hourly flights to Montreal and come and gone on time. We're morning people, so getting in so late, when we'd already had to cancel our dinner, would have ruined the whole weekend. We've booked it for next weekend now. Could have taken the train in the time we sat in that airport...

Not feeling bad about any of it, it's beautiful in Toronto this weekend. We can easily hit ovulation now, so long as it happens now, too.

Af2013nl · March 2016

@BornReady You're grandfather sounds liek a hoot! Hope he had a nice birthday!
@reneeannemm Those cookies look beautiful!
@zrain Congrats!

No plans this here this weekend--which I'm actually really glad about. Don't remember the last weekend where there was nothing going on, so going to soak up the laziness for a bit!

Spartanrd4 · March 2016

Congrats @zrain ....very happy for you and you give me a lot of hope for the future!

roxgibbons · March 2016

@zrainThat is amazing news!! Congratulations! I hope you can get in soon to put your mind at ease. Very exciting

@SnobunnieMel the property sounds amazing and happy you got the all clear.

@BornReady TTC is a true test of patience and like you said waiting it out for some part of the process but next thing you know months have gone by. It's nuts. I am benched for a while due to procedures and it's making me nuts but actually time is speeding by so that's good.

DH and I took a half day off of work and came up to San Francisco and had a wonderful dinner and stayed the night even though we live an hour away we decided to make a fun night of it. As for the rest of the weekend we'll be doing family stuff (my mom's birthday) and I hope I can get some spring cleaning done.

Hope you all have a good weekend!

penelope4612 · March 2016

@reneeannemm - yeah those do look complicated! I really love baking (and am happy to bake from scratch) but yikes. I'm sure if I tried it I'd spend hours and hours baking and end up with something that looks like a pinterest fail. My niece would really love them though. Sorry about your weekend away - that's so frustrating. I hope your weekend turns out nicely anyway!

@roxgibbons - I love the idea of getting away to a hotel for a night, even if it's just close to home. Sometimes it's just fun and more romantic to be somewhere else. I've had the thought of getting a hotel room in the city we live in at some point, but we haven't done it yet.

catiecatp · March 2016

I'm really struggling today - still - and I think DH is upset because he felt ignored this weekend. I think that was part defensive on my part, because I was upset but didn't want to upset him. And I feel like most days I'm pretty recovered emotionally from the MC but this weekend I wasn't and today I'm not - and I guess that is normal (my MC was around Christmas) but I want to be emotionally better.

I'm wondering if these boards, while filled with wonderful women, are perhaps not helping as much as I thought - or maybe they're keeping me from moving on? Do y'all feel a difference on days that you don't check in? I feel like I may step away for a week and see how it goes. But then I feel like I'll get behind on the threads (I'm a bit obsessive about reading all of the new posts). Or maybe I need to just set limits for myself - I have a get-s&$t done job so I make time to check several times a day... maybe I need to limit myself to check just once a day? How do y'all manage your board time?

penelope4612 · March 2016

@catiecatp - I try to just check the boards in the evenings (if I check before work I'm always late so I don't let myself log on in the mornings). Sometimes if work is really slow I'll check from my phone. I'm at home right now (I don't always have to go in on Monday mornings) which is why I'm on right now, but I'm not usually on during the day. But these are my thoughts:

I DO NOT participate in the WTO and TWW threads on TTGP. Those threads make time seem to drag like crazy and then I see all these people getting BPFs at like 2 DPO and I'm like - oh, hey, me too, and then I'm testing every day.

I try to make myself stay off the trimester boards and the BMB. I have been known to lurk on a "potential" BMB but try not to do it. I DO NOT go back to my old BMB. I try to stay off the Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss forum because it makes me too anxious/sad. I try to stick with TTCAL and TTGP and the Baby Names board.

I think you actually probably wouldn't miss much if you only logged on a few times per week, or if you took a few weeks off. There were periods where I stopped logging on because I was benched and we weren't trying to get pregnant anytime soon and sometimes I would pop in. Yeah, sure some ppl have disappeared (hopefully moved on to a BMB) and new people appear but the threads stay pretty much the same. If I don't check, when I check back in on another day, there is so much more to read so it's more entertaining. But right now, I don't necessarily think my emotional state is better or worse if I don't check (other than that, if I'm not checking, it might suggest that I'm busy doing other things, which makes time move faster I think).

BornReady · March 2016

@catiecatp I'm sorry you're struggling. I'm not sure how the boards impact me, I like the support and I like having a place to talk about the stuff nobody else in my life is an interested about as me. I left TTGP during my first round TTC, because it was just too much and made me obsessive. The daily threads made me insane, this board feels much more manageable to me.

Currently, I am about two months further from you in my miscarriage experience. I really think the grief comes and goes and lots of things trigger it. I saw a pregnant neighbor walk by me yesterday and I mentioned to DH that I felt "jealous" and sad. He told me later he was "worried" about me because of that statement, because I'm not generally a jealous person. I was blown away, like really, this is what worries you?!? I get where he's coming from, but it's moments like that, that I am so grateful for all of you. You people get it and make me feel much less crazy.

Anyways, I guess my point is, this whole grief thing is such a roller coaster. I felt much better soon after my loss and hopeful that I would be pregnant again soon, but the further out I get, the less control I have and it's almost like another loss each time we are unsuccessful. Coming in and checking in here, some days just in the morning while I have my tea other times not at all, others more often makes me feel better or at least not worse. Maybe try cutting back a little if you think it's negatively impacting you. If it works great, if not you can always check back in. Take care of yourself, we'll be here when/if you need us!

BornReady · March 2016

Also, @catiecatp, this might be counter to trying to limit your time, but I wonder if this might be a good discussion for it's own thread? You might get some more feedback from others that might not be checking this particular thread. I think it's probably an important issue that lots of people can identify with and offer support around. No stress if you don't feel like it, just a thought!

megsbrock · March 2016

@catiecatp sometimes I wonder the same thing. And as much as seeing BFPs on here gives me hope for the future (and no one deserves it more than this group of ladies!), sometimes it also makes me impatient and obsess over "when is this going to happen for me?!" I had a particularly anxious couple of weeks back in January where I stayed away and was able to return feeling better. So far so good...I usually just log on in the evenings or if I have a few mins at work.
Big hugs to you.

Af2013nl · March 2016

@catiecatp I did step a way from the board for a good many weeks shortly after I joined after my first loss. While I felt people were supportive and it was nice to discuss things with people in a similar boat, I also felt it was a constant reminder, and I would just cry while reading people's stories. After some time I felt better emotionally and felt I could be more active--maybe give support to someone else from sharing my story or encouragements. All in all this is a difficult and very personal journey and I think you have to do what is best for you, whatever that may be.

catiecatp · March 2016

@bornready@penelope4612 @megsbrock and @af2013nl - I really appreciate your thoughtful responses. I'll post it as another thread in a moment - I was reluctant because I don't tend to start threads often and it kind of flowed here. But if it could help someone else I'll do it.

I've done a lot of thinking about this today - and I think what makes the start of AF particularly hard is that my flow is heavier than it was pre-loss, but this could be my actual normal because I only had 1 AF without BC before my BFP. The heavy flow is a visual reminder of my MC and the cramps were bad which was a physical reminder - not as bad as I had during the MC or during a regular AF as a teenager, but worse than I've had in years (again, perhaps this is my actual normal because of BC skewing things). I haven't decided what I'll do in terms of the boards - I'm only on TTCAL - I poked around the PGAL check-in because I wanted to see the recent TTCAL graduates but I try to stay off the miscarriage board. I think I'll try to limit my visits and see if that helps -

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