Baby & Daddy — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

Baby & Daddy

hannahduff3hannahduff3 member
500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
edited March 2016 in January 2016 Moms
my baby cries pretty much everytime I hand him to his dad. He cries and cries and doesn't stop until I pick him back up. Sometimes I just have to say two words in the same room and he'll stop crying. I know it hurts my boyfriends feelings and i need a break sometimes but I can't do what I want (eat, sleep, etc) with a screaming baby! Is there anything I can do? Help :(

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Re: Baby & Daddy

  • Could it be the position he holds LO? I know my LO gets finicky about the way she is being held from time to time. Sometimes she gets moods where she wants to be held a certain way and if DH is holding her in his preferred way because he can still be pretty nervous, she starts to fuss a lot. Sometimes he doesnt know or isn't comfortable shifting her to different positions. Does your LO also get upset when others hold him besides you? Does LO have other ways he bonds with BF like baths, diapers, playtime? That could be something he could help with too to feel involved. Sometimes babies do just want their mamas or just take a while to be okay with certain people holding them and that's totally normal. My best friends first son always flipped out when her grandmother tried holding him for the first few months and we always thought it was because she had glasses and an older face which was very different from what he saw every day. He outgrew it and loves being held by her. You just never know their little preferences! I hope it gets better :)
  • That sounds stressful! I remind DH what to check when she's fussing (is she hungry, wet, tired, hot, cold, uncomfortable, understimulated, overstimulated?). I remind him to "try something new" when LO starts crying and he doesn't adjust. It may be helpful to show him different techniques too. I've also found it helpful to leave DH and DD together... It's amazing how resourceful one becomes when they're alone with a fussy babe! 
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  • My first was like this- he was like this until NINE MONTHS! ahhhh he would scream the entire time just about, even if I was gone for 3 hours (the longest I would leave) but he kinda just had to deal. He was just very clingy to mommy, my other's have done better but are still very clingy to mommy. Do what you have to do- I know it kills you to hear him cry but it's like he think he's still part of you and needs to be with you always. 
  • We're going through the same thing. My LO is 9 weeks and much prefers me to DH. It's better when I'm not in the room and he's completely fine when I leave the house. We're just pushing through it and letting them spend as much time together as possible. I think it'll get better when I go back to work and we aren't together all of the time.
  • Last week LO did this... But it was the opposite.
    LO would stare at me, id pick up up/take him from SO and the little stinker would bawl! SO would take him and he'd quiet down and stare at me... 
  • I know my friend had this problem when her Lo was young. It was mainly because she was at home all day and he was at work so the baby was used to her. Is there a specific task he does to bond with the baby? My friend made it his job to bath baby and read to him at nights. It helped when there was a task that the baby enjoyed that daddy got to do. May take a bit to ease into it but worth a shot? 
  • We went through this issue for a couple of weeks.  It was when LO was between 6-8 weeks old and we were experiencing some colic issues.  He wanted nothing to do with DH, and while some of it was DH needing to get accustomed to holding/caring for a baby, it was more just LO wanting no one but me.  I encouraged DH to hold him as much as he could and change him, feed him, and I would always there with him when he was doing these things.  It made my presence known, but someone else was in charge.  DH has a busy work schedule and while I was the one home on maternity leave, I was the primary person handling DS, so I didn't really blame the baby for not wanting anything to do with him.  The more time DH spent interacting with him, the better off he was and it only lasted for a couple of weeks.

  • It has to do with scent and sound. That's how your baby knows you. DD2 was having issues as well because DH works 40 hours a week and comes home tired. So on the weekends I have her sleep on his chest and have him do a lot with her just so they can build that trust and she gets used to his scent to know it's someone she trusts since I will be going back to work in less than 2 weeks and I will be on overnights.

  • Yes.  My baby prefers me.  I was thinking about telling my husband to use one of my shirts as like a burp cloth so she could smell me.  I'll let you know how it goes.  Also my husband happens to come home from work during the witching hour.  She is way more acceptable to being held by him in the AM.  Also I think she likes the higher pitch of my voice. 
  • LO has some colic which of course isn't helping this senerio. So I haven't found much activities he loves yet. But he does love getting a bath so maybe I'll change his baths to night time so his dad can give them to him. 
  • Can you wear one of his shirts for a few hours, and then have him put it on? Maybe slowly transitioning to just his smell from the both of you (by wearing a shirt you had on before) might work.
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