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December 2015 Moms
2winterbabies
member
Angry at DH all the time
2winterbabies
member
Sorry this may be long. Please let me know if I am just being bat s--t crazy or if my DH is truly being a jerk.
I was diagnosed with PPD but I feel like I was different than what most women that had PPD were experiencing. I felt a very strong connection to DD ever since the womb and when I gave birth to her I felt like I was glowing and full of happiness. My sadness is from DH and I *agreeing* to only have 2 kids but I feel like DH wasn't really "there" during this pregnancy. Unlike my first pregnancy, no belly rubs, less sex, less excitement, didn't go to the 20 week scan, no gender reveal, just wanted to know the sex and nothing else. He wanted a girl and a girl is what we got. During my labor DH was the only one in the room and I had really relied on him to be there for me. I was in pain trying to do this naturally. (HE told me to do it natural too!. I remember crying his name and when I looked over he opened his eyes and fell back asleep. I just remember trying to wake him by calling his name then I gave in to an epidural. My OB had to wake him to let him know his own daughter was coming and even then the doctor told him to take out his camera there is only one time DD will be born. With DS he cut the umbilical cord, with DD he refused. Ok... Fine. I was angry about the labor and I still am angry about it because he has yet to say sorry but admits that "he should of been there a lot more during the pregnancy".
Well now that chapter in my life is over and I am sobbing about how it all went down. I will never be pregnant again because *DH* in particular only wanted 2 kids. I wanted three. This wasn't discussed until after marriage for whatever reason.
I brought up to DH why I have been feeling sad all the time and basically told him I definitely wanted 3 kids now. I don't *feel* like I'm done having kids but I want to start trying in 3 years. I don't know if I'm feeling a void from the last pregnancy.
Anyway, his response?
I can do 3 kids but only within the next year or two. I want them all out at the same time and I kinda miss going inside you.
Ughhh... F YOU!!! I'm so disgusted. I told him that is not a reason to have another child. So I'm done with him. I just feel like our marriage is over. This is where my urge to have another child with HIM is gone... But I still would like another baby.
I remember him telling me that SAHM isn't nearly as hard as working 2 jobs. Well that's your fault you didn't take the better job offer. I have never asked DH to wake at 2,3,4 or 5 in the morning to feed DD. I did this all on my own with many MANY sleepless nights and days where I don't eat.
Another reason why I shouldn't have another child with DH and the marriage is over. The constant disrespect towards the mother of his children.
I have asked DH if he could possibly have developed PPD but he completely denies it. Towards the end of the pregnancy he has just changed completely. He is not the same man I once knew.
I was diagnosed with PPD but I feel like I was different than what most women that had PPD were experiencing. I felt a very strong connection to DD ever since the womb and when I gave birth to her I felt like I was glowing and full of happiness. My sadness is from DH and I *agreeing* to only have 2 kids but I feel like DH wasn't really "there" during this pregnancy. Unlike my first pregnancy, no belly rubs, less sex, less excitement, didn't go to the 20 week scan, no gender reveal, just wanted to know the sex and nothing else. He wanted a girl and a girl is what we got. During my labor DH was the only one in the room and I had really relied on him to be there for me. I was in pain trying to do this naturally. (HE told me to do it natural too!. I remember crying his name and when I looked over he opened his eyes and fell back asleep. I just remember trying to wake him by calling his name then I gave in to an epidural. My OB had to wake him to let him know his own daughter was coming and even then the doctor told him to take out his camera there is only one time DD will be born. With DS he cut the umbilical cord, with DD he refused. Ok... Fine. I was angry about the labor and I still am angry about it because he has yet to say sorry but admits that "he should of been there a lot more during the pregnancy".
Well now that chapter in my life is over and I am sobbing about how it all went down. I will never be pregnant again because *DH* in particular only wanted 2 kids. I wanted three. This wasn't discussed until after marriage for whatever reason.
I brought up to DH why I have been feeling sad all the time and basically told him I definitely wanted 3 kids now. I don't *feel* like I'm done having kids but I want to start trying in 3 years. I don't know if I'm feeling a void from the last pregnancy.
Anyway, his response?
I can do 3 kids but only within the next year or two. I want them all out at the same time and I kinda miss going inside you.
Ughhh... F YOU!!! I'm so disgusted. I told him that is not a reason to have another child. So I'm done with him. I just feel like our marriage is over. This is where my urge to have another child with HIM is gone... But I still would like another baby.
I remember him telling me that SAHM isn't nearly as hard as working 2 jobs. Well that's your fault you didn't take the better job offer. I have never asked DH to wake at 2,3,4 or 5 in the morning to feed DD. I did this all on my own with many MANY sleepless nights and days where I don't eat.
Another reason why I shouldn't have another child with DH and the marriage is over. The constant disrespect towards the mother of his children.
I have asked DH if he could possibly have developed PPD but he completely denies it. Towards the end of the pregnancy he has just changed completely. He is not the same man I once knew.
DD#1 born 12/30/2015
DS#1 born 02/19/2013
DS#1 born 02/19/2013
Re: Angry at DH all the time
DS#1 born 02/19/2013
DS#1 born 02/19/2013
counseling didn't help, I assume? Maybe try a new one? Don't give up the ship if you think there's hope. This time of life is tough for most people.
He has belittled me. I've been called names. I have ignored his name calling many times during arguments, now I'm tired of it. Everytime we have a bad argument he wants me to pack up my stuff and leave. I bought boxes the other day and about to pack up. What's funny is he just called me about a house he wants us to look at today. Why? Do you not remember what you have just told me?
It's really not my problem he works 2 jobs. He would rather work at these specific 2 places than take that 1 job that paid 20K extra a year. Tables have turned and I work 2 jobs now AND I'm a mother. I don't make excuses like I have 2 jobs so I don't have to do anything for my kids -- which is his attitude.
You are right. DH doesn't open up easy and I wait til it bottles up inside then I explode. It's a bad habit, hard to break. When asked about if he is depressed He totally denies it, he knows I have PPD and blames everything on me. I feel like an easy target to put blame on.
@kdoak2015 it was together... Ended up being a nightmare at first but we got better. After counseling which was 2 years ago we were fine. Everything was great! I would of preferred to do it separately. I think we may try that next time.
DS#1 born 02/19/2013
I mentioned this in another thread but I'm reading a book right now called Brain Rules for Baby. Is very very good and I highly recommend (I'm technically listening to the book on tape because who has time to read so I suggest getting that!) It talks a lot about how our relationships with our significant others affect our children, especially in infancy. The author also mentioned that 18% of men suffer from ppd and that it's even higher (50%) for men whose wife has ppd. So this very well could be the issue with your husband! I know everyone responds to things like this differently but I would have a serious discussion with him about it and seeking help for the good of your family and especially children