Cautious Optimism after Loss

spatchbelly · March 2016

I'm having a lot of trouble feeling excited and positive about this pregnancy, and unlike some of you who can't wait to see your OBGYNs, I'm actually dreading my upcoming U/S in mid-April. Please tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way. Last year, we had a MC at 10 weeks and all the statistics in the world don't make it easier to learn that you're losing a pregnancy when you're at your first U/S. We hadn't told our families yet because we were waiting for the magic 12-week mark. I can't shake the feeling that it will happen again this time. I'm seeing my parents this weekend and I'm seriously considering telling them we're expecting. Even if it ends badly, at least they would have a little while to experience some of the joy and excitement, right? I'm in the throes of morning (and afternoon and evening) sickness, and having All The Symptoms, so I'm feeling pretty scattered emotionally right now. I'm not a very optimistic person, but I just keep circling back to maybe it would be better for me to have some support during early pregnancy, even if it doesn't ultimately work out. Like maybe I can inspire something positive to happen if I just say it out loud to someone instead of keeping the news private?

comealongponds · March 2016

Welcome! There's a PGAL thread not too far down the board...you're definitely not alone here! We ended up telling our families about the loss as it was happening to gather some support. We've already told everyone this time as well, since we've had some issues already - they've been pretty good about not pushing, they know our optimism is cautious despite seeing two heartbeats last week as we saw a heartbeat before our loss as well.

AandDM2014 · March 2016

I totally get where you're coming from. I have yet to enjoy a single minute of my pregnancy because I'm terrified of miscarriage. I know it's unlikely, but I also have first and second hand experience with it, so I know it is possible. I think after the 12 week mark it'll be easier, because the likelihood of miscarriage after that is very very slim. And I've told everyone already, even though I'm only 7 weeks along. I told them the day I got a positive beta, because everyone knows that we struggle very much to get pregnant. It is nice to have others hoping and praying for you, and to be excited for you when you can't quite yet.

I hope you feel better soon and get great news at your ultrasound.

SunshineJar · March 2016

Here for you love!! Also cautiously optimistic! I'm 6 weeks and 3 days and every little symptom is overanalyzed. Today for example I have mild cramps and mildmpain in my boobs and all I can think is where have all yesterday symptoms gone?? But tomorrow I'm sure I'll be feeling different again!! It's so hard but I'm trying to keep the feeling that I'm not bleeding, I feel good and I just have to hope for the best but remember it may not work out. I wish in the UK they scanned earlier than 12 weeks because I just want to see the heartbeat and know I'm not getting my hopes up for nothing. I guess I'm just going to have to keep hoping and wish for the stickiest baby my body could make! EEE!

STBMrsMiller · March 2016

I'm not a loss mom, but infertility is also robbing me of pregnancy joy. I'm not letting myself get too excited until our RE ultrasound when I can hear the heartbeat. And we definitely won't be sharing with a large circle until after first tri.

MollySm · March 2016

I feel like I'm just waiting. That's the only thing that makes me look forward to the ultrasound. After seeing an empty sac at 8.5 weeks, I just feel like I won't believe anything is growing in there until I see it. So I got a positive pregnancy test and my period didn't come, which makes me feel pregnant, but I don't connect that feeling to a baby, if that makes sense. I connect it to the possibility of a baby, and now I wait to see. As the u/s gets closer I'll get more nervous and scared, but for now I just feel like I am waiting.

natalie421 · March 2016

I know exactly how you feel. My last pregnancy ended in a D&C at 10 weeks. I have had two healthy babies so I really wasn't expecting it. We had told our parents and I was glad I did. I needed the support. They wanted to be there for me. My mom would have been very hurt if I had gone through that by myself and didn't think to turn to her. I'm really trying to not analyze every symptom. With my miscarriage, I was so sick and exhausted and it made no difference. My hcg was still the level it should have been so I was still having symptoms. Just know that today you are pregnant. You can't control what will happen tomorrow.

monkey41 · March 2016

I understand the feelings here. We told family and some friends after our first appointment last time, went on to see a heartbeat, then went back at 9.5 weeks and was told the heartbeat had stopped just a day or two before. It was mostly really helpful to have the family and friends sympathize for us. A couple of friends didn't know how to respond. I intend to hold off on telling them this time until after the first tri. We'll have to tell some others who really helped us last time because they know we're trying and are likely watching for clues. I'm extremely cautiously optimistic and don't expect to get too attached or excited this trimester, but I'm only just past 4 weeks now.

kcolv · March 2016

I feel like I'm reading my
own post on here right now. I'm glad I'm not the only one too. Almost 6 weeks here and havent even made my u/s appt because I'm dreading it so much. I can't imagine going into the same u/s room and hearing the heartbeat is too slow all over again. Following up in a week to not hear a heartbeat. You're not alone at all.❤️

LaurenDarling · March 2016

I've had two previous losses in the past 7 months and I don't have any children to give me faith so far. I know exactly how you feel, you are not alone. The girls on the PGAL board are great too if you need some comforting from women who have also had losses and are farther along than we are. The night I got that BFP test, I smiled, then I cried hysterically. It's scary, but as someone on PGAL said to me "be happy because TODAY you are pregnant."

NMason505 · March 2016

I hear yeah. I lost my second son at 17 weeks. I have an ultrasound this week (8w) and I'm insanely nervous. We are doing another Beta a couple days before, Assuming the #s jump up, I think I'll feel a little better. I'm not sure I'll feel confident/not scared in this pregnancy. I keep trying to tell myself 1 in 4 end in MC. I've had two super easy pregnancy and mc, so #4 should be ok.

Want a personalized experience?

Cautious Optimism after Loss

Re: Cautious Optimism after Loss

Choose Another Board

Search Boards