When to tell your work that you're pregnant?

kamroberts · March 2016

Hello ladies!
I am currently 10w1d and I am trying to figure out when I should tell my work that I am expecting. I have to tell my boss before I announce our wonderful news public ally online because I am FB friends with my boss and many of my coworkers. I initially wanted to wait at least until I am well into my second trimester but I am getting concerned with my safety at work. I work with children who can sometimes exhibit aggressive combative behavior and I want to make sure that my baby and I are safe. Since no one knows that I am pregnant at work, no one is aware of my safety concern. I thought about just telling my immediate coworkers and not my boss until later on, but I am concerned that the news might spread. Do you ladies have any thoughts as to when I should announce the big news?

FemShep · March 2016

Timing is really up to you, but no matter what timing you decide on, tell your boss first. If your boss finds out from someone else that you're pregnant, that's a big violation of trust and it may damage your relationship. And no matter how much your coworkers promise they won't say anything, this sort of news always gets out.

Amykeir · March 2016

I think you should tell them. I am Week 9 & was worried, like you are, about telling too many people too early. I'm a teacher & was struggling in the classroom while feeling so sick. So I told my boss & immediate colleagues and I'm so glad I did! Their support is really getting me through- it was like a weight off my shoulders & I know they have my back. If something were to happen, it would be awful, but again, I think I'd prefer they knew and could support me through it.

klv · March 2016

I have told a few co workers. I am 10 weeks today and my first appointment is on Monday. Next week is Spring break so I am on vacation but I will prob tell everyone when we go back...I'll be11-12 weeks

TurtleMomma · March 2016

If it's a safety matter I think it's fine to tell now.

PatriciaRoberta · March 2016

My boss and I are close and I wound up telling him around 6 weeks because I could tell he already had a strong hunch! He's a good secret keeper, even with other coworkers saying to me right in front of him that they were having a recurring dream I was pregnant. I started telling a few close coworkers who are pregnant themselves and whom I'm close with right away. I hit 9 weeks today and started to tell more people. Your timing is up to you, though! I should note on my early sharing... though I'm an elementary teacher (which is the work I'm referring to), everyone knows I'm also a yoga teacher. I HAD a very flat tummy... now I don't... so many coworkers (and a few students) have told me that I look pregnant. I'm pretty sure it's just bloat at this point, but it's hard to face that convo daily without admitting it! Also, people are jerks.

coffee89 · March 2016

I told my boss around 8-10 weeks last time. My job involved a lot of ladders, carrying heavy boxes, and standing for 8 or more hours so I needed her to know why I was sitting down or passing off some duties (like climbing ladders if I was light headed). She kept my secret, but I let everyone else know around 12-13 weeks because I felt bad for having people pick up my slack and not knowing why. It was nice because instead of freaking myself out of my secret, I could look at someone and say "Hey, XYZ is going on. I'll do this if you do that." and they were supportive.

AshleyGemini24 · March 2016

I told my boss very early on. I think I was 4 weeks. The only reason I told her is because I am a 3rd shift tech in a nursing home and my job can be quite physical.

JamieK1882 · March 2016

I'm actually the opposite and trying to wait as long as possible to tell work, just due to some things occurring there. We're telling family at 11 week, but I'm asking everyone to keep it off of fb for a little. Will prob tell work a few weeks after that.

With my first we told everyone via fb right at 12 weeks.

jt0707 · March 2016

I told my boss at 6 weeks and then everyone else at 8, I'm really bad at keeping my own secrets, we also just did the whole Facebook announcement thing 2 days ago. It's all up to you!!! I will say this tho, it has been pretty annoying hearing everyone's opinion on everything related to pregnancy and babies at work, but I suppose it had to happen sometime! Good luck!!!!

purelex · March 2016

I am telling my boss on Monday and I will be just over 11 weeks. I had previous losses so I wanted to wait until I was done with the 1st trimester. However, morning sickness with vomiting kicked in really strong in the last week and a half and my co-workers are big time gossips so I want him to hear it from me first and not their speculations (which started on Thursday, apparently, when I didn't have a beer at our St. Patricks Day event).

I think 10 weeks is fine and lots of people tell even earlier so I would go for it, especially if you have safety concerns.

mommymaggieh · March 2016

I was trying to wait to tell work until closer to week 16. I have a lot of responsibility, and I'm worried about the reaction I'm going to get. My boss was in town this week and I stepped out of the room we were in to run to the bathroom. I left my phone, which was sitting next to my boss, and when I got back I had a missed call from Regional Obstetrics Consultants. Doh! She had to have seen it, right? She didn't say anything and I didn't say anything, but now I'm thinking I should have the conversation with her sooner rather than later. We still haven't told family and I have to tell them first, which we're planning to do in the next week. Does it really matter if folks know a few weeks earlier than planned? Especially if you have a good reason to share the news.

wegme27 · March 2016

I told my boss right away just because of being flexible with appointments. Close family and friends know too and we plan on announcing on FB next Sunday on Easter. I'll be 10 weeks next Sunday. If you have concerns for at work I'd at least let your boss know but that's definitely up to you. Everyone has a different situation and will share at different times.

GotRedOnYou · March 2016

I have a review scheduled with my boss on 3/31, which is the day after my next ultrasound and I will be 1 day shy of 13 weeks. That's when I'm telling. I'm really high risk for miscarriage and I really want to get past 12 weeks, plus I work at a different site so I don't see my boss that often, so this opportunity kind of works out.

clb1984 · March 2016

We've only told a couple of people who had to know so far, planning on telling close friends and family after the12 week scan if all looks good but ask them to keep it to themselves/off social media. I'd like to wait until closer to 16 wks to tell work if possible, i have a new boss and he's pretty loose lipped, he openly discusses other people's medical issues around the office and I think it's hugely inappropriate. I'm a pretty private person and wouldn't want to have everyone in my office know if something were to happen.

runningmama14 · March 2016

With my first, I had to tell my boss and a few Co workers the day after I found out. It was a safety issue (radiation), so no waiting on that!

This time, I'm no longer at that job. I can easily avoid radiation hazard now, so I'll wait until after friends and family know. Still haven't decided when I'm telling them though!

minnemiska · March 2016

I don't plan on doing any social media announcement for precisely this reason. I have concerns that my work will be materially impacted in quality and quantity once people know I'm pregnant. Im probably being paranoid but I'm at a somewhat critical phase of my career. I will probably have to tell people at work at some point between 12-16 weeks. But other than immediate family and close friends I don't plan to widely spread the news anyway until after my next Doctor appointment at 12-13 weeks.

kamroberts · March 2016

I just wanted to say thank you for all of your helpful responses! I think that when the time is right I will let my boss know but for now I'm still choosing to keep it under wraps. I work for a really small school and things travel extremely fast around the gossip mill. I think I'll tell my boss right before I make the big announcement online. Thank you ladies for all your responses I loved reading them all.

nsquaredlife13 · March 2016

Well after a less than stellar performance review and frustrating restructuring news on my team, I'm inclined to just say "F-you" and not tell them until I go on leave lol. But in all reality, I'll probably tell my boss in a week or two. I'm dreading it and have been putting it off as much as possible. The head of my dept has put some serious pressure on my greater team, and my specific job, and reduced my direct team from 3 to just me. My maternity leave will come at probably the most inconvenient time for my company and while they can't do jack about it, you know people can still "unofficially" have prejudices.

ByeBabyBunting · March 2016

I told work early with both. If I miscarry and need time off I figure they might as well know early. For some reason for me the bigger question is when to tell my mom. She'll do her whole 'concerned mom' act which makes me crazy even at 34 years old

mommymaggieh · March 2016

ByeBabyBunting said:

For some reason for me the bigger question is when to tell my mom. She'll do her whole 'concerned mom' act which makes me crazy even at 34 years old

This!! It makes me feel so guilty, but I want to wait a few more weeks to tell family because I know my mom is going to want to be super involved and will start calling constantly to see how I am. I love my mom, and this will be her first grandchild so she has reason to be excited and I don't begrudge her that. But I just want this to be my exciting thing for a little bit longer.

depineta · March 2016

@ByeBabyBunting This makes me feel better! I told my boss after an early ultrasound (around 7 weeks) but still haven't told my mom yet and I'll be 12 weeks tomorrow. I'm forcing myself to tell her when I visit next weekend. Somehow it was MUCH easier to tell my boss than anyone in my family!

emmaaa · March 2016

I told my boss after my first appointment and I was right around 8 weeks. I also told my assistant so she didn't think I was lazy since she literally started the week after I ofund out.

MzOro82214 · March 2016

I was planning on telling my boss as soon as I completed the first tri, but about 2 weeks ago she pulled me into her office to point something out that I'd done wrong and she got very confused when I started crying right there in front of her. Keep in mind, this lady doesn't break things to you nicely, she's the type that shoots it straight, likes things done quickly & without any hesitation, so she comes off kind of harsh and non-compassionate. I already don't have a thick skin as it is, but that day, I broke down. She kept asking repeatedly what was wrong & if I was going through something personal and the moment was building where I finally just looked up and told her. Her reaction was, "Whoa! Now I understand where these off the wall emotions are coming from." So, now she knows, but I had also already told 3 other co-workers that I trust, who have not said anything.

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