Burp or no burp?

abteamb · March 2016

So my DH gives DD her last bottle of the night, and first bottle in the morning while I pump. Lately he hasn't been burping her half way through the bottle. He says he has, but admitted that he stopped Bc he didn't like to hear her crying while she's being burped. I told him that he needed to do it, so she won't have tummy issues. Anyway, I don't think he's burping her again bc I don't hear her crying half way and she finishes the bottle super quick. After I bring this up to DH, he says that I'm nagging him and wanting him to do everything my way!! I'm so frustrated. I just want him to burp her halfway!!!

So so my question is this, is the burp halfway through the bottle really necessary? I feel like if she doesn't get that air out, she spits up all day long. So frustrated. End rant!

ammnam14 · March 2016

Honestly, let him parent his way. He'll figure it out. DH and I would always argue because I wanted DD to be taken care of a certain way. I finally realized how ridiculous I was being and let him do his thing. Fwiw, we don't burp DD halfway. And at least he is helping lol.

taysun · March 2016

I wouldn't push it. If it's really necessary he'll figure it out.
Also not being burped in the middle of two bottles probably isn't going to cause her to spit up all day if she's getting burped after them.

spottedginger · March 2016

Yeah... We only burp in the middle of a feeding if ds is getting fussy and needs it. Otherwise, it's after he's done.

Gingermom15 · March 2016

We stopped burping mid-feeding since he is old enough to let us know when he needs it. He pulls away, moves his head side to side and fusses. I'm sure if your baby was uncomfortable she would let him know. Otherwise, burping after the bottle is probably completely fine

breezypip · March 2016

I asked both DH and our daycare to pace feed and burp DD during a bottle since otherwise she's EBF. Well both of them have independently told me that she goes nuts when I bottle is removed before she's done and makes it difficult to continue the feed, so since DD won't allow true pace feeding or burping it doesn't happen. She seems just fine.

misamima · March 2016

I'd honestly let him do his thing. NBD in the grand scheme of things.

oregonmommy-2 · March 2016

I tell my husband how things should be done and I notice him do things his own way. I never nag him about it unless it's a safety issue because he is a parent to and I don't want to micro manage his parenting style. I make decisions on my own when I care for our baby and I would be irritated if my husband made comments on my every move. So I just give a few tips and let it be. I am very OCD about things so yes it is hard to just let things go.. But it's not fair that I make all the decisions when it comes to baby so I just keep some of my thoughts to myself.

celainev · March 2016

Yea let him do it his way. My DH experienced an inconsolable baby because of gas when LO was still very young. Now that LO is 13 weeks, he does pull away... But we both burp every 60 mls or so.

kdoak2015 · March 2016

I agree with everyone else, don't push it. She's not spitting up all day because he didn't burp her at one bottle. A friend of my bottle fed my DD this week and didn't burp her. I was tempted to say something during but just let it go. If she's crying during burping its almost as bad as not burping.

yl1m32015 · March 2016

I hardly burp her anymore. She's 4mo. If she gets fussy I sit her up and she burps herself.

abteamb · March 2016

Thanks eveyone, that's good to know. When it comes to everything else I let him do things his way. However, I was noticing DD spitting up more so I thought it was bc he stopped burping her. That's why I kept reminding him. I'm going to try not to burp her halfway and see if she's fine without it. She might not need to be burped anymore...

LaceyH13 · March 2016

yl1m32015 said:

I hardly burp her anymore. She's 4mo. If she gets fussy I sit her up and she burps herself.

This. For my baby at least, burping has been a bonus, not a necessity. He burps himself if he needs it.

momotheflyinglemur · March 2016

I agree with PP that you might want to ease up a little bit. I always think that my way is the absolute best way to do everything, but I'm not perfect and my hubby is not me. We have a long road ahead of us and if I am trying to control every little aspect of Odie's life, we are going to have a bad time. Therefore, I think it is best to let dad learn his own sets of tips and tricks of the trade and if baby has a little bit of excess gas because of it, well that's okey. It's how we learn.

I came to peace with that the other night. He panics when he has to change a poopy diaper because he doesn't know how to hold both of Odie's feet away from the diaper while he cleans him up. So I showed him that, then he suggested that he thought it would be easier to run him a bath (for an average sized poopy diaper), I didn't agree but you know what I turned the warm water on, put the seat in the tub and let daddy do his thing.

A few hours later, after the baby was sleeping Hubs came to me to say that it probably would have been easier to just change his diaper but that he appreciated having his decision supported. Sometimes becoming a new dad can be even more nerve wracking than it has been becoming a new mom.

oregonmommy-2 · March 2016

@momotheflyinglemur I agree.. Daddy's will figure out on their own what works and what doesn't we have to allow them trial and error.. I mean just months ago none of us had a clue what we were doing.. Now that daddy's are with the babes while we are headed back to work and such its their turn for trial and error and to learn what works.

andreaAL11 · March 2016

I had the same exact issue. I micromanage everything H does, but I've gotten better. In the beginning it was so hard because I read so many things on the internet how to do it the "right" way so I wanted him to do it too. The more he didn't listen to me the more angry I got with him and it just didn't help the situation. It's like stressing myself out.

But it when I let up and said "screw it" and let him do his thing. he did well.

Dont stress yourself out about it, like all other PPs, let him figure it out, and it doesn't really matter who is doing it "better," you'll both figure out the baby's quirks and needs on your own.

elbou · March 2016

katielwells said:

@momotheflyinglemur I agree.. Daddy's will figure out on their own what works and what doesn't we have to allow them trial and error.. I mean just months ago none of us had a clue what we were doing.. Now that daddy's are with the babes while we are headed back to work and such its their turn for trial and error and to learn what works.

And guess what.....allowing your hubby to try things their own way is great practice for when your sweet little baby is a big opinionated toddler (or grade-schooler, or high-schooler, etc.) and wants to do things their way too

JackJacktheCat · March 2016

We don't burp my 3m old ever anymore. When you take the bottle out of her mouth she loses it, so we just gave up. She burps at the end occasionally. When I breastfeed, she flies off the boob & shrieks if she needs to burp. I hold her upright & she lets it out immediately. Turns out she just doesn't need to be burped anymore. She spits up some days, but I believe it's unrelated to burping. I think it has more to do with how much she eats. I have a fast letdown & sometimes she just gets too much too fast. If your LO really needed to be burped halfway through would she let you know?

holly1811 · March 2016

Yeah I don't wind my lo anymore, he does it himself. I would say winding in the middle of a feed isn't necessary after the newborn phase

MomofEv+1 · March 2016

I grapple with being a helicopter mom when my husband takes over. I have a specific way of doing things and am a total control freak about the kids, but this was a major source of contention for us when our first was a baby. I had to be more thoughtful about how I approached my advice to him. This is a big complaint among his friends as well.

I'm all about not burping at this point. It probably isn't necessary but you know your baby better than anyone.

groovylocks · March 2016

We never got the hang of burping Olive. If we lift her upright, she tends to burp on her own and I've heard her as I drift off to sleep belching the night away.

Babies ARE able to burp on their own sometimes. It's just.. other times they need help. They'll cry if they do. If Olive doesn't cry, she doesn't have trapped gas.

I might be totally wrong but my mother said to just chill out and wait for her to let me know if she needs some help bringing it up.

groovylocks · March 2016

And btw, fyi, I have to deal with being really controlling about Olive too. Moreso because I am no longer in love with her father so I feel like I have to be careful of being extra critical. I think on the whole, he is a good dad. But he's not a mum. He's a dad and does things in a typical dad fashion.

Like bath time. He doesn't use her little bath. He puts water in the big tub and, holding her head above the water line, lets her float and kick and splash. And i panicked about it and, give the devil his due, she LOVES it and won't have a bath without "swim time" - in fact, this 3 month old baby is starting to kick and try to swim on her own. As a swimmer myself, I'm delighted to see her take to the water with such love. It's the first hobby I've seen her take any active interest in.

Her dad gave her that. Despite my nagging at him to "omg don't drown my child!"

So.. you know.. let him do things his way. Keep a quiet eye on things if you must. You'll know when to step in, I promise.

andreaAL11 · March 2016

@groovylocks this is the EXACT thing my husband did also lol I panicked and he was like "cal down she's fine" while she kicks her little legs away. Yay for early swim lessons!

dmendo01 · March 2016

DD is almost 12 weeks and I toy with not burping her anymore. I do still burp between breasts or if she starts pulling off the breast a lot but it almost seems like me burping her when she doesn't seem to need it causes her to spit up! If I don't burp her (if she falls asleep or we feed in the car seat) she practically never spits up. So it has me wondering...

soccsm13 · March 2016

dmendo01 said:

DD is almost 12 weeks and I toy with not burping her anymore. I do still burp between breasts or if she starts pulling off the breast a lot but it almost seems like me burping her when she doesn't seem to need it causes her to spit up! If I don't burp her (if she falls asleep or we feed in the car seat) she practically never spits up. So it has me wondering...

I was thinking this same thing. I never burp her before bed or in the middle of the night, and she never spits up then... But always does after other feedings... Hmm.

taysun · March 2016

I stopped burping entirely after reading some of the comments on this post. I will burp if she is upset but most often if I sit her up when she starts to fuss during or after a feed she burps on her own with far less spit up b

kdoak2015 · March 2016

Since reading this post I'm torn if I should burp or not anymore. DD spits up so I dunno if me not burping will help. Maybe I'll give it a try. She also gets gas easily so I think it may be worst if I stop burping I dunno we'll see.

lablover920 · March 2016

We never really burped LO. When she was really young I semi did but she has always let me know if she needed help. Usually just holding her upright and kind of bouncing usually gets one out. She has never really spit up either.

abteamb · March 2016

Ok, so this weekend I tested it out. We didn't burp at all halfway. After she finished her entire bottle, we kind of propped her up and she would burp on her own without us even patting or rubbing her back. So far, she's been fine. Actually a little less spit up than usual. Hmm....I guess this means no more halfway burping for us. Problem solved for now lol

redfallon · March 2016

We burp DS. He'll be 3 mos on the 22nd. If we don't burp him, he spits up a lot, so the two can be related. I wait until after he finishes, though. He typically eats 4 oz bottles, and only sometimes wants more, so I burp flyer the 4 oz. I'm not sure when DH does. He may still do it in the middle.

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