High needs 6 month old?

laurapaine2003@yahoo.com · March 2016

If you feel you have a high needs baby will you list the reasons why? I feel like my LO is super high needs and I think it would make me feel better if others share their experiences. Her constant demands and quick moodiness are a bit draining and I just feel like I'm failing as a mom when I see all these other always-happy easy breezy babies!

celiacmama · March 2016

https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/03/14/some-babies-are-just-easier-than-others/?mwrsm=Facebook&_r=0

this!!
i have a high needs 6 mo!!! he is my 3rd and by far the least easy!!!!!
hang in there!

mrsmctaggart6 · March 2016

Mine damn near always needs to be held or have me near by, my house is a disaster...

laurapaine2003@yahoo.com · March 2016

Excellent article! I swear, people automatically think we are doing something wrong if our baby is crying/fussy/temperamental and think we are doing something right when she's happy/social/sweet - we don't change what we do - she just swings from high to low!

lynnaeschr · March 2016

Sure do!!! Can be happy, smiling, playful and a second later freaking out! Also he doesn't believe in hunger cues at all....happy and then HANGRY outta no where. But if you try to feed him before that he gets mad too.

TabulaRasa25 · March 2016

We are at six months and going through an exhaustingly clingy phase. I'm trying to complete my master's, and splitting attention between coursework and baby is leaving room for nothing else. He's mega demanding right now, and I'm definitely giving my coursework way less attention than it needs, because I can't shortchange the baby on the attention front.

dAsch14 · March 2016

that's super interesting to see @celiacmama It always seemed to me that people say their 1st child is the most demanding and the younger ones are always the "Angel Babies". Nice to know that isn't necessarily the case.

ElleMF728 · March 2016

@celiacmama I loved this article. I especially loved that her children were grown and she was able to see how traits that were difficult in a child became benefits as an adult. My first was a high needs baby but has turned into such an amazing little boy. The things that made him difficult seem to have translated into the very things that make him so independent, social and funny now. His unhappiness was directly related to his lack of mobility and once he was able to get around he was easily able to entertain himself. His high energy turned into motivation and enthusiasm for life and learning. His stubborn personalities still shines occasionally but I can see how confident he is and how secure he feels expressing himself.

DS2 is much more easy going but he is entertained a lot by his older brother's antics and play whereas DS1 needed to be entertained solely by me. Everyday I am amazed by how completely different they are in almost every way despite using basically the same parenting methods. If I've learned anything in the short time I've been a mom its that children are just little people with their own personalities. They often don't fit into books or schedules and that is what makes them so wonderful in the first place

kanga915 · March 2016

mrsmctaggart6 said:

Mine damn near always needs to be held or have me near by, my house is a disaster...

This is my life too.

missliz53 · March 2016

Ours needs to be held or entertained or played with almost constantly. I can set her on the bed in between my legs and she'll happily play by herself as long as mommy is there and makes the occasional raspberry (the noise) or celebratory remark, but I get 5 mn max in the excer-saucer once, maybe twice a day if I'm lucky before a melt down ensues.

Eating solid foods even ones she's had for a month now and loves practically requires a parade for the first few bites.

She's a great night time sleeper, but naps must be timed and executed with precision. And forget about napping by herself in late afternoon or evening. It's nap on mommy or the whole house vibrates and the animals are crowded under the bed with their paws in their ears.

When she was a newborn she touched me with her foot and had a meltdown.

There are large amounts of tears when laying her down on the changing table or anywhere she doesn't want to be, and the saddest baby face ever, but usually this can be remedied with raspberries and toys or by picking her up again. I've occasionally had to lay her on a mat in the bathroom so I can pee.

If daddy is holding her and she wants mommy instead we have a thunderstorm the instant he hands her over, she's fine.

Every once in a while I can set her down and she will fuss for a few seconds and then be ok when she sees I'm ignoring it. Generally though, she pulls out the big guns and will quickly cry herself sick, usually just as my breakfast is ready to eat. And then the cats eat my breakfast while I'm cleaning her up. I've lost so many meals to the cats in the last 6 months.

I try to think of her as a very high strung horse or cat and this has helped me tremendously. Meaning I keep calm and act like it's no big deal and often she will follow my lead. And I use a lot of distraction with her. I figure this will help when she's two and having a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store.

mrsmctaggart6 · March 2016

I'm constantly fighting my dogs for my breakfast, lol

laurapaine2003@yahoo.com · March 2016

These posts are making me feel SO much better, please keep them coming!!! I'm not alone!!

jennsuzanne87 · March 2016

DS is pretty clingy and I would say relatively high needs. He's great for other people when I'm not around, but if I'm there he really wants to constantly nurse, needs to be HELD (I can't just sit by him, nope) and gets upset if I'm not actively interacting with him- so I can hardly check my phone or watch the news. He's also a pretty inconsistent sleeper, BUT he's very social and flirty and adorable.

jessbruxanovaa · March 2016

Yes! Except... My LO has been high needs since birth. He is a Velcro baby, extremely clingy. He won't take a pacifier and will only fall asleep on my breast. The moment he is uncomfortable/ unhappy he immediately lets us know with his ear-piercing shrieks. He also gets bored easily. We have to keep him constantly entertained by moving him from bouncer to swing, to holding him to play mat. It's exhausting. It's frustrating. Sometimes I find myself comparing him to other babies like son why can't you just relax?! Lol I love my monster more than life itself.

BabyBean815 · March 2016

I have a "spirited" baby. He knows what he wants and lets you about it. He's constantly moving, doesn't sit still, and isn't a fan of cuddling. He never just relaxes and settles down and falls asleep on me. Nope. When he gets tired, he just gets cranky and squirmy until I put him in his crib.

He hated his infant car seat for the first three months until we had enough and switched to a convertible.

He'll go from happy, smiley, playing baby to fussy, fussy, fussy at the drop of the hat.

But that's just who he is! And when he's happy and playing and being a maniac, it makes me smile.

We have friends whose baby is the same age as ours and they always talk about how "good" their baby is. "She never cries." "She's always happy." "She's soooo gooood." I want to tell them that my baby is good, too! He just keeps me on my toes and expresses himself freely!

kkerner87 · March 2016

All of this. We're going through an even extra clingy phase now. I knew something was up when I read characteristics of a high needs baby article by Dr.Sears and it hit every nail on the head. Also, My MIL has 5 kids and she said she has never heard a baby scream the way she does. Like it is a demanding scream. 6 months in and it's not getting an easier. Plus she is a Virgo...so there's that...

missliz53 · March 2016

I hate that phrase good baby. Everybody likes to ask me that. Like a baby who isn't easy is a bad baby. My dad constantly likes to remind me about how difficult I was as a baby. I finally unfriended him on FB because I got tired of all the snide little comments.

jwebbbber45678 · March 2016

My baby has always struggled with sleep! Every night we put him to bed and he wakes up 40 minutes later and cries until we soothe him. He wakes up another 40-50 minutes later and cries again. At this point I just pull him in bed and breast feed him and let him sleep next to me. Then he wakes up another 2-3 times throughout the night to eat. Sometimes he's up hanging out and wide awake at 3am for an hour. I wake at 5 am to go to work. He's also massive, like 23 pounds and wearing size 9-12. He's fights sleep by flailing his giant baby arms and legs and crying. We have to pin his little arms down and rock him to sleep for naps. When he's awake he cannot sit still, he needs constant movement and entertainment. It's exhausting but I love my baby, I figure someday I'll sleep again.

kanga915 · March 2016

We also call our baby Velcro. I hold her for every nap. She sleeps in our bed. I can put her down for about five minutes at a time. Here's a poem I love that helps when I'm overwhelmed:

Babies Don’t Keep

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

Author: Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

mpache06 · March 2016

I have always been envious of everyones happy babies. Mine has been so fussy since day one (colic). Shes finally started getting better with that and now she's very clingy. She won't ever let me just sit her down. Always needs held. If I put her in her jumper and walk alway, she cries. But if I sit there with her she is fine. She hates being put in her car seat to go anywhere. And don't even talk to me about sleeping. I don't even know what sleep is anymore. I'm a single FTM and if it wasnt for thr help of my mom recently I wouldn't be making it. I rock her to sleep and put her in crib. She's in there for a little bit and then starts crying again. U get her and she does the same thing over and over. The other night I swear she got up like 10 times. And with me working so early in the morning for my job, it just doesn't cut it. I love my baby so much and just can't wait for her to be out of this phase or whatever it is. I'm just drained

rachelb51212 · March 2016

6 months must be a clingy phase. My LO needs to be entertained all the time when he's awake, and if he isn't than he gets super whiney. I think they're really getting interested in the world and want to play all the time. Also, they're learning distances at this point, so if I walk away from him he gets really upset.

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