Rough Road

askye1212 · March 2016

It has been at least 5 months since my MC. It has been a rough road. Each month I hope that I am pregnant and that isn't the case. I have read many stories of success after a loss. How is everyone else.?

catiecatp · March 2016

hugs and love - I'm at nearly 3 months since my MC and like you, each month I'm hopeful but so far no BFP. I may have shed a few tears this morning, with my fingers crossed, that something will happen this cycle. DH is unconcerned about our chances, and tries to comfort me saying things like "at least we know you can get pregnant" but it is hard to hear the truth in his words. I feel like we've been trying for awhile but if I think about it I realize this isn't true. We started TTC in October - so even if we hadn't had a BFP and MC it wouldn't be that long, but it FEELS long. I'm feeling cautiously hopeful that this month or next might be our month - my CM is finally lining up with my temperature shift this cycle. But I'm scared to be hopeful and then disappointed.

dpjennifer · March 2016

askye1212 and @catiecatp I completely understand. I've just completed my 4th cycle after MC, with a BFN yesterday morning and AF starting today. Even with a wonky cycle this month, my luteal phase was several days longer than usual and I was really hopeful. I'm encouraged by all the recent BFP on this board, and try to stay positive that it will be me soon, but am frustrated it's not happened yet.

glamakitti · March 2016

*** TW & child mentioned ***

It is so hard isn't it! I never expected not to be able to get pregnant just like that once DH and I decided to try for #2; It's so... shocking and almost absurd it's like, ok I'm ready now... Hey why isn't going the way I planned I said I'M READY!
It's almost 5 months since my mc; I got pregnant straight away after removal of my Mirena coil. I'm currently 10dpo of 3rd cycle trying. I decided that if I do not get my bfp this cycle I am not going to drive myself crazy with TTC techniques that don't work for me and are financially and emotionally costly. I'm going to go with the flow. I didn't chart or do opks or anything like that with my DS or my 2nd pregnancy. I admit I sometimes worry that since mc I cannot get pregnant again.

queenklau · March 2016

I feel you. We started TTC/got off BC September 2014. I really cannot believe that it will be 2 yrs. We got pregnant twice in 2015, March and Sept but with two losses at 10 weeks we have not been successful. It has been 3 unsuccessful cycles since my last loss and I really feel powerless. I hope that this is our cycle, but who knows.

BornReady · March 2016

It is definitely a rough road. So hard. I remember back when I started TTC in 2012, I put it off for a few months thinking that as soon as we'd try we would be pregnant. I honestly thought that would be how it would work. I still grieve over the naive thinking and how much time and money I wasted being on birth control.

I too am 5 months out from miscarriage, and despite my issues getting pregnant in the past for some reason I thought it would happen soon after. I hate feeling the pressure of time/age.

silentP · March 2016

I am so sorry so many of you are dealing with this. Miscarriage is so hard, and then that passage of time just can be so hard to come to grips with. It has been almost two years and two miscarriages for us.

I feel better overall, but many nights I cry myself to sleep. It's hardest not to think of all of this lying in bed, for some reason. Biggest hugs and best wishes. Rainbow babies for us all soon, I hope!

megsbrock · March 2016

I am sorry you feel like this and I have been there. After my first MC it took 5 cycles of trying to get another BFP which unfortunately ended up in a loss. However I sit here now into my 4th cycle trying after the second loss and even though I lost that second one I know we will get pregnant again. And I know if it takes longer than 5 cycles this time I'll be really upset and impatient....I find for me I just have to keep telling myself "this is the cycle it's going to happen".

Big hugs to you.
This process sucks.

NamelessAria · March 2016

I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sorry that you've had a difficult road since then. I can definitely relate to how you're feeling. This is month 5 since my MC and DH and I had horrible timing this month due to some bad "performance anxiety" DH was having. So, unless a not-so-small TTC miracle happens (and let's be honest: that isn't something one should ever count on) I'm definitely out this month. Which means, best case scenario, I'll get KU again 6 months after my MC. But DH has to travel for work next month right about when FF is predicting ovulation. FF is predicting O on the 8th (of course I O'd ~5 days after the predicted O this month) and DH has to leave for a week on the 10th. So there is a very real chance we'll be automatically out next month because of bad timing. Which would put me still TTC 7 months post loss.

I definitely read all those stories about how ladies are "extra fertile" after a loss where ladies would say "I had a loss and got pregnant with my rainbow baby the very next month!" I let myself get my hopes up way too high that I'd be one of the lucky ladies extra fertile after a loss and I'd be pregnant again soon after. It's hard!

When I started TTC back in January 2015 I definitely didn't plan on it taking as long as it has. I didn't plan on having a loss. I didn't plan any of this and I was not emotionally prepared.

Hopefully we all get our BFPs for our take-home rainbow babies soon. Lots of hugs for everyone who needs them.

BaylieGirl · March 2016

Gosh I'm right these with everyone. This is a rough road I really don't want to be on anymore. We're 3 cycles out after our miscarriage and only got to BD once this cycle because husband was having "performance" issues as well. Today was a rough day. With the rainy weather and the long 2 week wait a head of us I don't really feel like getting out of bed. I just hate the trying and waiting. Part of me just wants to go see a RE and do what it takes to get pregnant quicker. I never thought I'd catch such a bad case of baby fever.

penelope4612 · March 2016

I ended up benched for 4 months after my loss so we're just back to trying now. At first, I thought we would totally be KTFU before my previous EDD came around (May 18). Now I'm not so sure... I think I'm mentally feeling ok most of the time at this point, but every time someone asks "when are you guys going to have a baby?" or something along those lines, I want to scream.

DinosaurJumper · March 2016

@penelope4612 I hate when people ask that as well!! Like, "none of your effin business!!" Well...I usually really just laugh uncomfortably and shrug my shoulders.

@catiecatp FX for you that this is your cycle, if I remember correctly from the weekly check in, we are cycle buddies again! 5 dpo right?

@glamakitti Right?! Why can't our uteruses cooperate? The time is right I tell you, now just hold a baby okay!

Every cycle TTC post-loss, I lose a little more hope. It seems like that's how it is for everyone else here </3
After two years, I'm done tracking my cycles on an app, I'm done with the planning and the poas, I'm done. DH and I will float through these next two cycles TTC, but after that I don't think I have the strength to do this anymore. Had a breakdown a few days ago and DH told me that he couldn't stand watching me put myself through this anymore.

FX for all of us that we get our BFP and sticky babies soon!

MWoodside · March 2016

We have been ttc 2 cycles so far after taking some time off after my most recent loss last July. I was really hoping for a bfp last cycle bc it was my due date month. No cigar though. Fingers crossed for March.

catiecatp · March 2016

@dinosaurjumper - I'm sorry you're having a particularly rough spot right now - we're cycle buddies so FX we get BFP this month

Wearehavinababy422 · March 2016

Hi. I'm new to this posting stuff but I need support. It's been 4 months since our second loss and 10 months since our first. We've been trying so hard and nothing is happening. I'm 2 days late but I've gotten 2 bfns. I just found out today that another lady close to me is pregnant. That makes 8 total. I feel completely helpless and like I can't even handle being by pregnant women right now, even though they're my friends.

On top of that, I'm supposed to throw a baby shower this Saturday for one of these friends. I don't know if I can handle it. Should I get everything set up and pass it off to someone else? Please offer advice

catiecatp · March 2016

@Wearehavinababy422 - hugs and love - I stumbled upon another announcement on FB today - and I can't quit the site as it is a link to distant family and friends. Most of the time I don't know the stories behind the announcements - they may have had losses, or been trying for awhile... but it hurts.

I have no advice to offer though I know that there was a similar post about a baby shower in the last few months. I tried scanning the topic titles but I can't seem to find it - hopefully someone can point you in the right direction.

penelope4612 · March 2016

@Wearehavinababy422 - I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Do you have other friends who are attending the baby shower who can help you? Or does the woman the shower is for have any family that could help? How big of an event is it? It's a lot of work to put a shower together, and could be a lot of energy given how you're feeling, but at the same time if you've said you'll host it might look a bit odd for you to not be there (unless you can fake an illness or something).

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