Non-parent friends

amye02 · February 2016

11 weeks ago I had parenting all figured out. Then Jackson was born.
Today a friend who has no kids told me "it's good that Jackson's sick with a cold it will strengthen his immune system"
Eye roll

What have your non parent friends said that have made you roll your eyes or make you think "just wait"

ammnam14 · March 2016

Everything that comes out of their mouths is eye roll worthy. I love them to pieces, but they are in for a rude awakening lol.

kdoak2015 · March 2016

yep pretty much everything, we invited some friends over for super bowl Sunday and they couldn't make the 1hr drive because her DHs back was sore so they invited us instead. I declined as having my baby out past 10pm isn't ideal and she laughed and said i need to expose my child to different surroundings lol. Yep I do just not that late at night and that far away from home.

taysun · March 2016

Mine have actually been pretty great, they don't offer any "advice" and put up with my constant baby conversation. They also join me in cheering on her milestones and celebrated my transition from exclusively pumping to EBF.
My best friend is living in Canada right now at University and has been to visit every time she has time off from school.
Maybe it's because they're all under 25 and rarely see babies so they know they're clueless about babies?

LaceyH13 · March 2016

"You shouldn't drink aspartame while you are breastfeeding. And caffeine is bad for your baby." Talk to me again when you work 9 hour days with a baby who wakes up over and over again at night.

groovylocks · March 2016

People telling me they already know how much they'd love their own kid based on how they feel about kids they see around them. And in turn basing their decision to have kids on that.

If i had done that, i'd have never had Olive. The litmus test for whether or not you should have kids isn't whether or not you LIKE random kids. It's basically "Do you get violent or abusive when you're angry?" If the answer is "no of course not, i have basic coping skills" then you'd likely enjoy raising YOUR OWN child.

These childless people argue with me about that as a concept (i'm not pressuring anybody to try having kids but as a concept in discussion) - and it's sort of frustrating trying to explain that, no, during pregnancy and early infancy, the mother's brain goes through an almost firmware upgrade. You WILL tune in almost guaranteed. "Well not everybody experiences that" True. But it is highly unusual. You don't have to be a kid person to adore your own child beyond measure. I know this from firsthand experience.

Gingermom15 · March 2016

A friend equated my child being in the nicu to her dog having surgery.

No.

redfallon · March 2016

Gingermom15 said:

A friend equated my child being in the nicu to her dog having surgery.

No.

Nooooooooooooo! This made me lol.

navyblueladybug · March 2016

Gingermom15 said:

A friend equated my child being in the nicu to her dog having surgery.

No.

LOL!!! What a twatwaffle!!! SMH

amye02 · March 2016

Gingermom15 said:

A friend equated my child being in the nicu to her dog having surgery.

No.

Hell no. "I understand beccause my pet IS my baby" people are driving me crazy, you may think of your pets as your child, but my child is not a pet so really, no.

blended10 · March 2016

I'm a little older so I have very few friends left in the "without kids" category however - I have one friend w/o who is getting married in June & has been a bit of a diva about "all eyes on her"- we have a very good mutual friend who is scheduled for a c-section (due to a classic c cut from her last baby a 32-wk pre-e emergency) so it's not a moveable date - anyway said friend is actually planning on going to the wedding - if she can bring her 5-day-old (I told her I think she's crazy) & the bride was like "mmmmm, I don't know- we said no kids soooo" wtf?? It's not like they'll be eating anything! I'm annoyed I can't bring dd!!
ok sorry - end rant.
Also no- pets are not babies even if you say it a thousand times.

preggoandglowing · March 2016

I literally just got this text from a so called friend "Call me when ur kid turns 18. Only way I'll see u and talk to u again"

Because I haven't answered her last three phone calls which she calls too often and just wants to complain about her life and gossip about other people for hours. Like no, I'd rather be wiping poop off my baby than listen to that ish #newpriorities

pupsicle23 · March 2016

My friends are all wonderful about showing support and asking about the baby. But some of them have trouble understanding my lifestyle. No, I don't want to pay for a flight and take a day off of work to fly across the country, share a hotel room with 8 people, and go to my college homecoming to drink at the crowded bars. I don't even drive after two beers these days. And no, I really don't want to bring the baby.

Also, pets as kids and no babies at weddings = not cool.

ETA @preggoandglowing DH and I planned our wedding in 3 days so that his terminally ill father could attend. We had a tiny ceremony with whatever family could attend. One of my best friends surprised me by driving 9 hours to help me get ready. When another friend heard this, she basically broke up with me because she "wasn't invited" to my wedding. K bye.

12815AEEA · March 2016

My aunt is the person driving me nuts. She doesn't get that my schedule is baby's schedule and no I'm not going to wait until she just falls asleep...because she doesn't just fall asleep. She needs to be put down drowsy. She's very selfish and just really doesn't get it. So frustrating!!!

blackw15 · March 2016

My friend told me she'd "never give her child a pacifier" because she finds it "very annoying" when they're 2 and still sucking on one.
Ok, talk to me when your 4 week-old is screaming and nothing but the pacifier, well...pacified them.

Gingermom15 · March 2016

Seems so very true. I want to make it into a big cardboard sign and smack people with it when they say some of these things.

Also, stuck in a quote box. Don't know how this happened.

redfallon · March 2016

blackw15 said:

My friend told me she'd "never give her child a pacifier" because she finds it "very annoying" when they're 2 and still sucking on one.
Ok, talk to me when your 4 week-old is screaming and nothing but the pacifier, well...pacified them.

Plus, this doesn't happen for all kids. DD used one for six months and that's it. DS I can't really get to use one. He may suck on it for a minute and that's it. I sometimes wish he'd use it more!

groovylocks · March 2016

amye02 said:

Gingermom15 said:

A friend equated my child being in the nicu to her dog having surgery.

No.

Hell no. "I understand beccause my pet IS my baby" people are driving me crazy, you may think of your pets as your child, but my child is not a pet so really, no.

My pets are LIKE my children. Actually, i have cats so my pets are more like roommates who poop in a box and stick their hands in my drinks. Turnip, my eldest, is my best friend. Are my pets deserving of personhood in my house? Absolutely.

Are they my child? Absolutely not.

Will i risk my life to save them if the house is burning? Absolutely.

Will i risk olive's life for them? No.

It hurts just typing that. I love my pets more than almost anybody on earth.

ALMOST anybody.

cariton · March 2016

My cousin said "having a newborn is so easy all you do is feed them, put them to sleep and then you can do other stuff".... I was having a particularly hard few days with sleep that day... He is lucky he is still alive

rzaremba · March 2016

I have a few weeks left of maternity leave, and I keep getting invited to work meetings. My well meaning co-workers just say "just come, it's fine just bring the baby!" as if he could just be thrown in my briefcase and wouldn't take my attention during meetings. Yeah no.

LaceyH13 · March 2016

rzaremba said:

I have a few weeks left of maternity leave, and I keep getting invited to work meetings. My well meaning co-workers just say "just come, it's fine just bring the baby!" as if he could just be thrown in my briefcase and wouldn't take my attention during meetings. Yeah no.

I bring my baby to work with me to my full-time job every day. Every meeting I go to I have to bounce in he back of the room because the baby will inevitably cry right at that moment.

rmarie13 · March 2016

Gingermom15 said:

A friend equated my child being in the nicu to her dog having surgery.

No.

Oh my $&@$$&@!!!!

My cats are my fur babies and I really love them. The first time we had to board one of them I legit had separation anxiety. That being said I've never compared them to babies (other than to annoy my in laws when they were being pushy about grandkids hehehehe).
A friend ended up not coming to my wedding bc her dog was really sick. Her bf had already bought their plane tickets (from the states to Europe!) but she still decided to lose the airfare and stay with her dog. I still don't get it. Thankfully they were able to transfer the tickets to my best friend so I had someone from home there! Needless to say our friendship fizzled out. She literally sent me a fb message 2 days ago wishing me a happy birthday and congratulating me.... DD is almost 11 weeks old.

rzaremba · March 2016

LaceyH13 said:

rzaremba said:

I have a few weeks left of maternity leave, and I keep getting invited to work meetings. My well meaning co-workers just say "just come, it's fine just bring the baby!" as if he could just be thrown in my briefcase and wouldn't take my attention during meetings. Yeah no.

I bring my baby to work with me to my full-time job every day. Every meeting I go to I have to bounce in he back of the room because the baby will inevitably cry right at that moment.

That's amazing your job allows that! I can barely concentrate on a phone conversation while soothing the baby much less an in person mtg. Another of my co-workers brilliant solutions is to simply pass the baby around to different co-workers outside the meeting without my supervision. Also not going to work for me.

ATolentino89 · March 2016

I gotta bring this one back. Non parent friend asks me at 3:30 if me and husband want to go to the rodeo tonight. I get off at 6pm, the rodeo is a good 1-1 1/2 hour drive away and I have a baby.... How does this not calculate?!?

BethP321 · March 2016

This just happened to me last night. Some girl on my FB shared an article about child leashes (controversial topic, I know...) but the article wasn't about trying to control the child or leash them like an animal, etc at all, and every single comment or statement she made was about how they are used to keep children under control in public and the parents are just being lazy. --hold up--. Any mom who can keep two or more toddlers under control in public by herself is a Wonder Woman and I applaud her. She argued back "well my brothers are much younger than me and I helped take care of them so I have an idea what it's like to parent. In public they even listen-ish." My Iast reply was "ISH" and she took down the entire post. Talk to me about how great your parenting skills are when you actually have a child, don't judge mine.

rachel10488 · March 2016

My son was in the hospital for a few days at 7 weeks with a fever and they were throwing around scary words like meningitis or hsv. It was terrifying and heartbreaking seeing him go thru that. I posted on Facebook about it just asking for prayers and the support was wonderful.
But I never heard one word from my (childless) sister (we're not super close but talk). My mom called her and was like "wtf is wrong with you, why haven't you reached out to your sister when you know your nephew is in the hospital?" And her response was "I figured he was fine since in the picture she posted on Facebook he was smiling."

Needless to say, I haven't spoken to her since.

Oh and and my son is perfectly healthy now! He had a virus but tested negative for all the big scary ones

celainev · March 2016

I love my family very much. But both my sisters do not have kids. I was on vacation with them, and one sister would claim I'm "too protective" when I would ask someone to stay by LO when he was laying on the couch. And while she was watching him, she would consistently leave him there alone. I wasn't allowed to be upset because I would be "overreacting."

My other sister has a habit rolling her eyes at me when I go to console my whining baby. She thinks I should wait til he cries. But I know, once he starts crying, he's so much harder to soothe.

Its super annoying that they are the ones rolling their eyes at me when I'm the mom! (It's what happens when you are the first sibling to have a baby.)

LaceyH13 · March 2016

rzaremba said:

LaceyH13 said:

rzaremba said:

I have a few weeks left of maternity leave, and I keep getting invited to work meetings. My well meaning co-workers just say "just come, it's fine just bring the baby!" as if he could just be thrown in my briefcase and wouldn't take my attention during meetings. Yeah no.

I bring my baby to work with me to my full-time job every day. Every meeting I go to I have to bounce in he back of the room because the baby will inevitably cry right at that moment.

That's amazing your job allows that! I can barely concentrate on a phone conversation while soothing the baby much less an in person mtg. Another of my co-workers brilliant solutions is to simply pass the baby around to different co-workers outside the meeting without my supervision. Also not going to work for me.

A nice perk financially I guess, but I wouldn't say amazing. I don't get very much done, and it is one requirement of the program that you must leave your babies with coworkers while in meetings with outside guests. It has made my baby very social, and in the 2 months we have done it (8-9 hrs each day, 5 days a week) not one bad thing has ever happened. People in general are trustworthy. If someone won't take care of your baby properly, they probably won't volunteer to hold him or her.

Then again, I am a pretty easy going mom, so maybe that is why it is no big deal to me.

momotheflyinglemur · March 2016

@gingermommy15 I am sorry but I have to say that I totally get this one and will always give it a pass, because I have a lot of people in my life that are childfree by choice, but they have thier furbabies and they give them the love and attention that they can't or choose not to give a human child. I have likened alot of the newborn experiences to what it was like to have a 6 week old puppy. It's not a perfect analogy but its an easy, somewhat accurate one.

Most people ask me how the baby is and I feel for some of them that is a mixture of genuine curiosity and social obligation so I always start with "Oh,he is a baby, doing baby things, learning how to do more human things everyday." hahaha. I feel that delving straight into tales from Tummy Time and the latest from the diaper chronicles sets you up for conversational failure to those who haven't experienced it yet.

Non-parent friends

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