STM's, what's your plan for your other child/children when you go into labor?

auntieembabes · March 2016

we have a lovely friend who will take our son regardless of the time, day or night, when I go into labor. She very thoughtfully suggested my parents will want to be in the waiting room. After the twins are born big brother will stay with grandma until I'm out of the hospital.

BeansMom2014 · March 2016

hoping and praying I go in to labor after my mom gets here (booked her flight for 3 days before my EDD) If she's not here....we'll have to bring our 2yo daughter with us to the hospital and my husband will probably have to wait in the waiting room with her. We are BRAND new to town and don't know anyone well enough to ask them to watch her.

LondonToSavannah · March 2016

My parents live about 10 minutes from the hospital and will watch our son...and are going to keep him for the first week we are home. I am very lucky they are so close!

Bltbear82 · March 2016

Our son's babysitter is on standby to come regardless of time, but it will take her at least 45 min-1 hour to get here. But our neighbor is our backup just in case it escalates quickly and we need to leave in the middle of the night. Fingers crossed, last time my water broke in the afternoon before rush hour.

asummerbride · March 2016

My parents will have them. They live about 5 minutes away from us, and 20 minutes from hospital.

cortney626 · March 2016

If I go into labor on my own before my RCS, we will drop DD off at my mom's. Depending on the time of my RCS, we'll drop DD of at school. My brother will pick her up from school and bring her to the hospital. She'll go home with my mom and stay the night there. She may stay the next night with my mom or exMIL. We have a lot of help but my daughter is also in 3rd grade and will stick to her schedule.

laurenmdrn16 · March 2016

My mom will be on April break so she is free the entire week of our planned RCS. However, she wants to be at the hospital with me. So I think my sisters were both talking about taking off that week as well so they can be with the little guy. Here's the deal: maybe I should have my son go to preschool in the morning and then my mom can just pick him up after so I can have a little alone time with my baby girl and then he can meet his sister later in the afternoon? That way my mom can be at the hospital with me, see that I am still breathing, and then go get my son. MH will take that day off work anyways so I feel like it would be nice to just be Mama, Dada, and Baby Luna for a little bit until we introduce big brother back into the mix. Then, MH is taking the whole next week off so he and my mom can trade off caring for our son while I am in the hospital/recovering at home with Luna. After that, I guess we will be on our own...yikes!

gemini2005 · March 2016

We have either my in-laws or neighbor to take the kids while I'm in labor if my family can't be there. My mom will be coming to stay with us that week before my edd but I really want her in the delivery room with us. The ideal scenario would be if my sister and brother are able to be there in the waiting room with the kids so they can meet the baby right away. They live an hour away and have to work so I don't know if that will happen but I'm hoping!

kbrands7 · March 2016

Honestly, this part of being a STM gives me some major anxiety. I know that my mom is on call to watch DS while I'm at the hospital until the baby is born (whether that ends up being a vbac or a csection). That part I'm fine with. Beyond that, is dependent on circumstances. If I have a vbac, I'll likely have DH stay home with DS while I'm in the hospital; if I have a csection, I'll want/need some extra support overnight. I don't know if that'll be my mom or DH. The other will have DS either at our house, or possibly my mom may have him at her house. I do bedtime (DH's schedule doesn't allow for him to do it right now) and DS has only spent one night away from me ever (slept like crap & got so upset he puked) so the idea of being in the hospital for 2-3 days minimum is stressing me big-time. I'm going to try to build it up as a fun thing for him...but I just don't know how this is going to play out. Plus, I'm the light sleeper of the family who hears him when/if he wakes overnight. Both DH and my mom are pretty heavy sleepers. *Sigh* Is it weird that I'm probably more worried about this than my big fat question mark of a birth plan?

laurenmdrn16 · March 2016

kbrands7 said:

Honestly, this part of being a STM gives me some major anxiety. I know that my mom is on call to watch DS while I'm at the hospital until the baby is born (whether that ends up being a vbac or a csection). That part I'm fine with. Beyond that, is dependent on circumstances. If I have a vbac, I'll likely have DH stay home with DS while I'm in the hospital; if I have a csection, I'll want/need some extra support overnight. I don't know if that'll be my mom or DH. The other will have DS either at our house, or possibly my mom may have him at her house. I do bedtime (DH's schedule doesn't allow for him to do it right now) and DS has only spent one night away from me ever (slept like crap & got so upset he puked) so the idea of being in the hospital for 2-3 days minimum is stressing me big-time. I'm going to try to build it up as a fun thing for him...but I just don't know how this is going to play out. Plus, I'm the light sleeper of the family who hears him when/if he wakes overnight. Both DH and my mom are pretty heavy sleepers. *Sigh* Is it weird that I'm probably more worried about this than my big fat question mark of a birth plan?

@kbrands7 can you try having your son have a few sleep overs with your mom before the big day? We have been doing a monthly sleep over with Grandma to get him used to it in case something happens and he needs to be at my mom's. At first he had trouble sleeping, but now that it is more normal, he practically begs for sleep overs! I know my guy is a little older than yours, but maybe making it a fun adventure now will make it easier when it is a frantic necessity later on. And I have been totally glossing over the actual birth and focused entirely on the logistics of juggling a toddler and an infant. My OB actually had to remind me that I will be birthing a baby and not just adding one on from the store or something because I was so blaise about the whole thing!

helleebellee · March 2016

I have no clue. My oldest can watch kids for an hour or two, but I don't like leaving for much longer than that. My neighbor might be able to help, but it won't be for long. Which leaves my mom and MIL, and I just don't see that happening. I should probably figure this out, soon.

kbrands7 · March 2016

laurenmdrn16 said:

show previous quotes

kbrands7 said:

Honestly, this part of being a STM gives me some major anxiety. I know that my mom is on call to watch DS while I'm at the hospital until the baby is born (whether that ends up being a vbac or a csection). That part I'm fine with. Beyond that, is dependent on circumstances. If I have a vbac, I'll likely have DH stay home with DS while I'm in the hospital; if I have a csection, I'll want/need some extra support overnight. I don't know if that'll be my mom or DH. The other will have DS either at our house, or possibly my mom may have him at her house. I do bedtime (DH's schedule doesn't allow for him to do it right now) and DS has only spent one night away from me ever (slept like crap & got so upset he puked) so the idea of being in the hospital for 2-3 days minimum is stressing me big-time. I'm going to try to build it up as a fun thing for him...but I just don't know how this is going to play out. Plus, I'm the light sleeper of the family who hears him when/if he wakes overnight. Both DH and my mom are pretty heavy sleepers. *Sigh* Is it weird that I'm probably more worried about this than my big fat question mark of a birth plan?

@kbrands7 can you try having your son have a few sleep overs with your mom before the big day? We have been doing a monthly sleep over with Grandma to get him used to it in case something happens and he needs to be at my mom's. At first he had trouble sleeping, but now that it is more normal, he practically begs for sleep overs! I know my guy is a little older than yours, but maybe making it a fun adventure now will make it easier when it is a frantic necessity later on. And I have been totally glossing over the actual birth and focused entirely on the logistics of juggling a toddler and an infant. My OB actually had to remind me that I will be birthing a baby and not just adding one on from the store or something because I was so blaise about the whole thing!

We could definitely try this. Part of the issue is that, since he's not in a crib/pack n' play anymore, there isn't a fully childproofed room for overnight sleeping for him at my parents' house. They'd need to do that first if he's going to spend a full night there rather than her coming over to our house.

laurenmdrn16 · March 2016

And the best laid plans....I literally JUST got a call from my OB that they are pushing back my RCS date because Luna isn't as big as they thought and my body is doing so great she can cook a little longer. Also, I am clamped tight with zero dilation so they are confident I won't have spontaneous labor anytime soon. So now, the RCS is scheduled for April 25th at 10am. OMG! That is when my baby will be born! I can't believe it! AHHHHH! It is so frickin real! So, now to call MH, mom and sisters and give them the update!

osmama456 · March 2016

thankfully my mom decided to retire and stay in town, less than 10 min away, so she's on call for our son, who's 8. she'll bring him to the hospital when we ask her to.

JennyS86 · March 2016

If I go into labor before my RCS, the neighbors will watch the twins until my in-laws can take over.
If I go until my scheduled c-s, my parents might be here, so twins can sleep at home, and DH and I can leave early in the morning for the hospital. They may spend a night at the in-laws because they have so much fun there, or DH can take them at home, and maybe my Mom can stay with me for a night in the hospital. We are lucky to have some options!

mello13 · March 2016

@kbrands7 I'm more worried about this than the birth too. My mom lives in an in-law suite attached to our house. The problem is she went to visit my sister across the country. She left yesterday, and plans to stay at least a month. My EDD is May 13, but DS was born at 36 weeks and the doctor is fairly certain that this one will be similar. That means mom won't be here.

The in-laws live about 2 minutes away, but MIL has some severe health concerns, so they would only be able to stick around in a pinch, for instance if I went into labor overnight I needed someone here straight away.

I have a friend who is offered to watch DS, but she has a four-year-old daughter, so she wouldn't be able to come in the middle the night. She lives about 20 minutes away, so if I go into labor midday she can be here pretty quickly.

The biggest issue is that last time my labor was about three hours start to finish, and it was preterm. So anything that happens needs to happen very quickly in order for me to make it to the hospital to have the baby. In addition I'm so stressed out about how DS will handle everything. DH Will likely have to come home after the birth to stay the night with DS. I'm sure I would prefer the help in hospital, but unless my mom is here who DS is very comfortable with and who knows his routine, it seems highly unlikely.

kbrands7 · March 2016

@Mello13 I'm sorry that you may be in a tough position with this! It just feels like there are no perfect options, and I hate having DS's care being a play-it-by-ear situation, as it seems is your situation too. Here's hoping your mom is back in time for your labor!

NB817 · March 2016

laurenmdrn16 said:

My mom will be on April break so she is free the entire week of our planned RCS. However, she wants to be at the hospital with me. So I think my sisters were both talking about taking off that week as well so they can be with the little guy. Here's the deal: maybe I should have my son go to preschool in the morning and then my mom can just pick him up after so I can have a little alone time with my baby girl and then he can meet his sister later in the afternoon? That way my mom can be at the hospital with me, see that I am still breathing, and then go get my son. MH will take that day off work anyways so I feel like it would be nice to just be Mama, Dada, and Baby Luna for a little bit until we introduce big brother back into the mix. Then, MH is taking the whole next week off so he and my mom can trade off caring for our son while I am in the hospital/recovering at home with Luna. After that, I guess we will be on our own...yikes!

We have this same plan. My mom is going to be here to take DD to her gymnastics class and to lunch and then come to the hospital in the afternoon. My RCS is scheduled for 8am but you never know how long it will take for them to actually get you into the OR if an emergency c section comes up and also at our hospital they have to make sure there's a room ready for you in maternity ward.
I remember I was scheduled with DD for 8am as well and she wasn't born until 11:24am and I didn't get into my room until almost 3pm.

slfezz · March 2016

My MIL will be staying with us starting 2 weeks before EDD until a week after the baby comes. She may not be my favorite person in the world but it's the best way to make sure the kids are taken care of no matter what happens. She will help out with the housework and taking care of that big kids. We live where we do because of my job which means is a several hour drive to our closest family

DH will spend the days in the hospital with me but likely will be at home overnight to be with the kids some unless I need the help

mcb2016 · March 2016

I have a good friend that is willing to take my son at a minutes notice if needed. My parents may fly in if we have an induction scheduled. I would like my dh to stay at least the first night at the hospital with me but if our son needs him at home I will be solo which will be okay too.

camillaandcarson · March 2016

I will most likely hire a doula to stay with me while DH watches our toddler for the large majority of the time.

katiebug1981 · March 2016

I am having a scheduled c section so our daughter will be at daycare while I have the baby. We are just undecided about if dh will stay the night at home with her or at the hospital with me. If he stays with me our daughter will be home with a family friend

mmemartinez · March 2016

It will depend on when it happens, and how quickly it's progressing. If it's the weekend or the middle of the night, I may have my parents pick him up or meet us at the hospital. During the day he will be in daycare so we can just go to the hospital and my parents can pick him up from daycare. I'll probably pack a bag for him too and have it with ours as we get closer to the date. He loves being at grandma's house so I'm not worried about that part.
It sounds terrible but I'm honestly more stressed about the dogs because my parents would have to find a way to come get them from our house or DH would have to
get them to our dog sitter. Or my parents would do that somehow? I don't really want DH to leave even though I'll have a doula.

JessicaB0627 · March 2016

My dad is on-call. He's on our way to the hospital and he was able to make it possible with his work to take off a few days starting whenever I go into labor. A couple months ago we switched DD's toddler bed for a regular sized bed and put the toddler bed at his house. I'm hoping at least having the familiar bed will make it easier to stay there a couple nights.

I almost gave my poor dad a heart attack the other night though. We were having an issue with our garage door opening on its own at 1 am so I called him to see if he knew how to fix it. He answered the phone in a huge panic asking if everything was okay. I had to start off by telling him I'm not in labor. Whoops!

doozer1345 · March 2016

My mom lives with us so thankfully she will be available to take care of DD. We've made the plan for my mom to drop me off at the hospital and go home with DD if my water breaks bc we will have DH in route anyways so I (hopefully) won't be by myself for too long.

kami09 · March 2016

I keep having this horrible feeling that I'm going to wait too long and have my baby at home. BUT anyways, my mom lives 5 min from us so as soon as I start having contractions, I'm calling her to come over. If DH is at work, I'll call him and he can come home home and take me to the hospital. Thankfully, we ued to have a job that took us away from home every Wed night so DS is used to other people putting him to bed.

There are so many variables and different situations that could arise..it's crazy! Thankfully, my mom is just going to go with the flow and be with DS as much as we need her to be.

laurenmdrn16 · March 2016

https://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/031315-saying-goodbye-to-an-older-sibling-before-birth/#prclt-VGh812Ee

Read at your own risk.

kami09 · March 2016

I JUST saw that yesterday on Facebook while I was holding DS while he was napping. (Which is such a rarity these days). I had to silently cry. I also texted DH that he has to remember to get a picture of me and DS before we go to the hospital. He just doesn't understand lol- he was like well its not a goodbye, he's still your chuld. Whatever.

kbrands7 · March 2016

Oh my, yes. I've been having those emotions too. Of course he's still my child, but we're changing the dynamics of the family-- and at the same time, I won't see him as much for a few days.

doozer1345 · March 2016

laurenmdrn16 said:

https://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/031315-saying-goodbye-to-an-older-sibling-before-birth/#prclt-VGh812Ee

Read at your own risk.

OMG...Never would have guessed I'd have that reaction reading this. At work. In a room with 3 other people.

ETA: I'm full waterworks right now. Everyone is panicking the pg lady is crying.

2.red.heads · March 2016

Awe, those pictures are so sweet! I'm kind of glad we didn't have time to think (and get sappy) when we had to go to the hospital for baby #2 (grandma had to get our 3 year old from the hospital!). This time around may be different though.

I'm the oldest and I was age 4, 6, and 8 when my mom went to the hospital. I remember each time missing her, but I was ok!

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STM's, what's your plan for your other child/children when you go into labor?

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