How to Attachment Parent with a Second Child?

Re: How to Attachment Parent with a Second Child?

• SLGILL1978 member

  March 2016

  I don't consider that "high maintenance". That's natural and normal for babies. We have a huge bed and or toddler sleeps in the middle now. We are currently TTC #2, so if/when that happens, baby will sleep next to the wall (just like the my daughter) with me next to him/her. 
  You don't have to bed share as well. Co sleeping is a very broad term. You can side car the crib, use a bassinet, pack n play, there are also bassinets that fit in your bed, etc. Same for your toddler. You can put a toddler sized mattress in your room if he/she is not ready to sleep on their own yet. 
  My toddler is still in our bed. I am a huge believer in transitioning when baby is ready. They are only little for such a short amount of time. 

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• doodleoodle member

  March 2016

  SLGILL1978 said:

  I don't consider that "high maintenance". That's natural and normal for babies. We have a huge bed and or toddler sleeps in the middle now. We are currently TTC #2, so if/when that happens, baby will sleep next to the wall (just like the my daughter) with me next to him/her. 
  You don't have to bed share as well. Co sleeping is a very broad term. You can side car the crib, use a bassinet, pack n play, there are also bassinets that fit in your bed, etc. Same for your toddler. You can put a toddler sized mattress in your room if he/she is not ready to sleep on their own yet. 
  My toddler is still in our bed. I am a huge believer in transitioning when baby is ready. They are only little for such a short amount of time. 

  I've been told by my mother and MIL that baby is "high maintenance" and I have no other experience to compare it to. Glad it's normal! I agree whole heartedly on making the transition when baby is ready and I guess that's what has me nervous. We tried putting LO in a bassinet sidecar style and she wasn't having it. She wants to sleep in the crook of my arm. I'm not really sleeping because it's starting to do serious damage to my shoulder after 4 months of this, but you're right they are only little for so long. And who likes sleeping alone anyway! I know I don't. I guess if I have another one and LO isn't ready to sleep on her own then I can just have DH stay in the guest room so I can sleep between the two without fear of him rolling over on the older one or bonking her in the head.

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• Twochickshavinachick member

  March 2016

  We have a 14mo toddler and are just about to start TTC #2. Dd started off in a moses basket as close-tight to the bed as it could possibly get but at 4 months, she moved in between us from first waking (A and I are both light sleepers)
  We are still debating how we might achieve a safe family bed if dd still wants to sleep in with us when #2 comes along but what we have figured out so far is #2 sleeps in moses basket on my side of bed until 6+ months and dd goes in between us. Once #2 comes in the bed, we move the matress against the wall so that baby is safe beetween the wall and me; dd stays where she is, between A and I.
  We're still ironing out the wrinkles in attachment parenting 2. For example, my short stature and A's bad back make tandem carrying difficult and unless we're all out together, someone will have to go in the stroller. The key is to just improvise. Do what works best for baby (ies) - and *you*

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• blended10 member

  March 2016

  I currently have a 5-yr-old & 3-month-old in our king-sized bed. 
  My 5yr old starts off in his bed (which we started when he was around 3) but he always ends up in bed with us.  It goes hubby, 5 yr old, me then baby in my arms. She moves from one side to the other depending on where she last nursed but so far it's working ok.  
  I was super nervous about all this but you'll figure it out. In a perfect world my 5 yr old would just stay in his bed but it is what it is.

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• mrscammack member

  March 2016

  I have a relatively easy baby, but even she needs to bed share in order to get a good nights sleep. She likes having mommy close and while she will sleep on her own in the pack in play she doesn't sleep as long and it takes her much longer to settle. As PPs said I don't think your baby is high maintenance at all! There are so many ways to cosleep without bedsharing if you aren't comfortable doing it with 2 kids. You can try putting the baby's crib, or toddlers bed in your room so you are still close by or use a bassinet that attaches to the side of your bed so baby still has their own space and is safe but close by. I use the lulyboo portable bassinet and put it beside me in bed so LO is safe from blankets and rolling over but still right beside me if she needs anything. 
  

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