Breastfeeding Q

ShanRum3 · March 2016

Let me preface by saying, I BF'd both of my boys, who are now 11 and 6, and quite frankly didn't care who was around, other than my brothers or my dad, otherwise I didn't cover unless I was in public. (Just personal preference, as I wasn't comfortable)
It's no question that I'll BF this baby too, but my DH brought up an interesting point. He said I should probably cover at home when my 11y/o is around," because he's getting too old to see Mom's boobs hanging out." (Not that I walk around with them hanging out and would always have a bra/tank on) But I don't think it needs to be a big deal. I don't want my sons to look at breasts as sex objects, and what better way than to allow them to see what breasts were made for? I would love to hear other Breastfeeding mom's thoughts and opinions on the subject.

WildWhat · March 2016

I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with breastfeeding around your other children, but it just comes down to a personal choice with whatever is best for you and your family. Maybe talk to your 11 year old about it beforehand, see if he has any questions, and give him a chance to talk about how he feels?

texasmama2014 · March 2016

I don't cover normally. Especially not at home. I think it will show your older children what boobs are for besides the sex stuff. A concept many grown women don't fully grasp I've learned.

Mrsrundell · March 2016

Hmm that is an interesting question- never considered this before! Do you think it would make your older son feel uncomfortable? It might be a weird and confusing time for him going through puberty so, dad might know what is best...? I get the whole breasts aren't just sexual objects but, it could still be awkward. Not sure, just trying to consider it from the 11 year olds perspective.

mouse1029 · March 2016

Chances are he remembers you nursing the 6 year old. I would just mention it and say hey do you remember me nursing brother? I'm going to nurse this baby too.

If he has an issue, he can go to his room. It's much better for breastfeeding to be normalized at home.

ShanRum3 · March 2016

I have talked to both of the boys and explained that this is how Mom's feed their babies, and this is how I fed them when they were babies. I kind of think maybe we need to just play it by ear, and see if he shows signs of awkwardness, or acts odd about it, once baby is here. My Best friend nursed her youngest DD in front of her 10 year old DS and her 6 year old DD and said he never even batted an eyelash, and couldn't care less. Every kid is different though, so who knows. It just threw me for a loop that DH would even make the suggestion.

Mrsrundell · March 2016

Just another thought - maybe dad would feel awkward around his son and your boobs?! That's why he brought it up but, just sorta played it off as though your son would feel awkward..?

DDRRT1982 · March 2016

I have a 13 yo and have breastfed his siblings since he was 10. I am very modest in public out of respect for others, but honestly at home this is my domain and I want to be comfortable. I started out when he was 10 going to another room, but that got old with the frequency of nursing. I eventually would nurse in front of him with a cover, but that got old. I eventually got to the point that I just told him not to look. I didn't have my boob flopping out or anything, but it was at his discretion how much he wanted to see if he stared. He doesn't want to , so it isn't a problem. Especially now that he knows the cues of when his siblings nurse.

BritMC18 · March 2016

No personal experience here, but I definitely think there's no right/wrong answer to this delima - very much a personal choice. For what it's worth, I have a friend who has a 13, 12, and 9 year old and just had another baby. She has fed the baby in front of them since day 1 with absolutely no issues. From my understanding, her nor her husband ever had a talk with any of them regarding nursing, just did it right from the start and never made a deal out of it.

mamaqdubu · March 2016

I think your comfort and opinion trumps the others in the house considering you are the one feeding the baby, so I agree with the others saying there is no right or wrong answer, just your choice. If you will feel okay with it in front of your children they will adjust. If not, they won't mind either. They always look towards their parents as doing things right (at that age anyways) so I don't think it will be a long adjustment.

That at being said I plan on BF, and I know myself that I will be private about it around everyone except my husband, because that's just how I am. That's what will make me the most comfortable.

lmtrmama · March 2016

I never cover up and I am still nursing my 18 month old. I have always been careful to step away from other people's kids or at school sports events. Not that I am ashamed at all, but each child is different and I am not trying to make a breastfeeding statement to other people's kids. When I had my oldest, my little brother was 12 and he always saw me nurse. I don't think it was gross to him, but he definitely was not comfortable seeing the ladies out so much lol! He would usually just walk out of the room!

lmtrmama · March 2016

Sorry for double posting but I had another thought...is your husband feeling weird about it? My fiancé was
weird at first, almost like he thought my boobs were his private property and no one else should see them. I remember his friends came to visit at the hospital and he asked if I was going to wait to nurse til they left...finally he got used to it but he's making comments about it again this pregnancy too.

ThisisNumber3 · March 2016

I wouldn't cover up. I would have your husband talk to them about how to respect a woman and honor her privacy. Aka maybe teach them about how to step out of the room or look away while baby is latching.

jamiesc58 · March 2016

I don't cover up in front of dh or our kids but I do in public. It is only my personal preference because it makes me feel more comfortable. I do not in any way, shape, or form have an opinion either way of what any other mom does. If you feel comfortable just whipping it out, go for it. Breastfeeding has been going on for many many years and there is nothing to be ashamed of!

Ceventa · March 2016

Have you asked them both what they think about it? For all you know, you're worrying about this and your kids think it's no biggy. Personally, I think if I was in your situation I wouldn't cover up to the extent I normally would in public (which is wearing a light blanket over me while LO is nursing) if it made it uncomfortable to do so at home, but I wouldn't just whip a booby out only because I personally am not one to just let my booby hang out lol I usually would just place DS in position and then take out my booby and he would latch.

It's such a personal decision and really depends on the dynamic of your family. If anything, I think you have a great oppurtunity here to normalize breastfeeding with the younger generation. Raising men that see breasts as something other then sexual objects. So right on.

amccul20 · March 2016

oh gosh, I actually think it would be so healthy for him to see you breastfeeding the new baby!

1faceinacrowd · March 2016

I actually hadn't thought much about this but I'm so glad you brought it up! My situation is different in that I not only have a 5-year-old daughter, but I also have an almost 6-year-old step-son. I wouldn't think twice about DD being around, but I wonder if it'll be awkward or weird for my step-son, since I'm not his bio mom and his own mom didn't BF him for more than a couple of days (according to DH).
I don't have much to add, except that I agree with PPs that it's completely up to you and what you're comfortable with. I should probably talk to my DH and find out what he thinks about me breast feeding in front of my step-son, because I'm not really sure...

ThisisNumber3 · March 2016

I wouldn't cover up. I would have your husband talk to them about how to respect a woman and honor her privacy. Aka maybe teach them about how to step out of the room or look away while baby is latching.

ShanRum3 · March 2016

@lmtrmama I'm not really sure what prompted DH to mention it, or what his thought process was other than maybe our sons age and impending puberty. He never said anything about who I nursed around, or covered up around with the first 2, so I really don't know where this is coming from.

Thank you to all you Mommas who have thoughts, words of encouragement, or advice. It is appreciated!

Jengle77 · March 2016

I don't breastfeed...and I only have girls, but here is my two cents.

I saw a counselor when I got divorced to talk about how to help my children cope with the divorce (ps they were absolutely fine...it was me who had the problems. lol)

But one of the things we talked about was making sex normal. Think about it...if you "hide" something from your kids, what are they going to do? They are going to sneak around and try to find it and make up their own version of what it is. That's how a lot of us teach sex to our children. Hell, my parents never had "the talk". They just said don't so it. So, I learned from friends and books and magazines....and did it!

Statistically they say that if you normalize and are verbal about things, it is less likely that your child will have multiple sex partners, etc. So, my kids are 9, 6, 5 and 2. We talk very openly. We use the proper terms of vagina and penis and breasts. I am naked in front of them....just like they are in front of me. We have talked about how the baby will come out of my vagina and how I will bleed. We talk about how I will not breastfeed because my breasts just don't seem to work, but I wish I could, because its a beautiful thing.

There is actually an age appropriate book out there that I got just to have around the house. Think of it as bathroom reading material. It's called "it's not the stork" and is designed for children 4 and up. It shows the male and female body parts and even talks about how a mommy and daddy make a baby (less graphically then you would think).

So, all in, I am probably a little on the outside with my views, and I have girls, but I would totally talk to your 11 year old and explain what you will do and why you will do it. And to open the door for him to ask questions!

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