Need to vent

Boots&Co · March 2016

my bff is getting married! I've accepted the matron of honor position since she asked me in January. She knows about my two previous losses and that we're trying again.

So last week we go out for dinner. And then she drops a bomb on me.
"Hey, I was thinking. Could you maybe wait to get pregnant until after my wedding [in august], I just don't know how it'll look in pictures..."
my answer was "no. don't be a bridezilla."

I love her, but clearly she doesn't understand how I'm feeling or what I've been going through. Sometimes this road feels so lonely.

dpjennifer · March 2016

Aw man, that sucks.

Sorry you had to deal with that. People who haven't had a loss or troubles trying to conceive just don't seem to get it. I'm glad you stuck up for yourself and hope you have a better day tomorrow!

BrightenMySky · March 2016

That is inappropriate to ask of anyone, and particularly insensitive because of your losses. Hugs.

SnobunnieMel · March 2016

I'm so glad you told her no flat out. Healing from losses and trying again is a time you are allowed to put yourself above anyone else.

queenklau · March 2016

Yes, I agree totally inappropriate. I "love" how people think that you can plan pregnancy like it's a switch. "Ok well I think we are ready now, and 9 months later baby comes out". And to top it off she knows about your losses, she should have known better. I am sorry you had to deal with that hurtful comment:

zrain · March 2016

Whoa. I'm amazed you were able to say anything at all. I think I would've just walked away. How completely insensitive. My SIL was pregnant when she was one of my bridesmaids and I thought she looked absolutely stunning with her bump. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm guessing your bff will probably feel like an idiot after some reflection on what she said.

megsbrock · March 2016

Wow, what a completely insensitive and inappropriate question. Props to you for not going off on her. Instances like this make me really resent people who have no idea what it's like. I know it's not healthy to resent them, but really....that's just rediculous.

mylittleversailles · March 2016

I would have lost my (very even) temper at her. It's inappropriate on every possible level. Nope nope nope. I'm very sorry.

roper2617 · March 2016

Your response to her outrageous request was GOLDEN.

stephann85 · March 2016

I agree with all PP. I can't believe she can be so insensitive. Even before my loss I would have never been able to ask my bridesmaids to "not get pregnant". So sorry you had to go through that. But I have to say... Awesome response!

Boots&Co · March 2016

Thanks for all the awesome support ladies! Days later it's still bugging me, but I held my cool and she won't know how upset she made me. I just laughed it off and moved on.

Boots&Co · March 2016

...and when I say moved on I mean in front of her, but obviously I haven't moved on. I'll just pretend she never put me in that position and that my happiness is greater than her wedding photos.

yolandamunoz · March 2016

I am so sorry!! that is so rude!!

(I haven't even introduced myself, I am still in the MC and pregnancy loss board.)

But I wanted to jump in to tell you my story. My BFF was my Matron of Honour for my wedding in 2014, and she was 8 months pregnant, and she looked gorgeous! I was so thankful that she could still be there with me, despite her big belly. She was so helpful and kind, and even had a special dress made for the occasion.

This brings me such good memories, that I wanted to share, in case this is helpful to you.

Hugs.
_Y

ThePax89 · March 2016

Are you effing kidding me. What a brat. I'm sorry, I know that she is your best friend, but that is a horrible thing to say to someone.

MamaCoffin · March 2016

Wow. I. Wow.

I would have dumped my drink on her head and told her to go find some other push over for the job.

#icanteven

fivetimesnoluck · March 2016

You handled that better than I would have. Props to you.

If she doesn't change, and you need someone to kick her in the twat, let me know.

Af2013nl · March 2016

Sorry for your friend's insensitivity, but good for you for sticking up for yourself!

cooaladoll · March 2016

It's ridiculous how bad bridezillas can be! I'm so glad you answered no, and I'm amazed that you kept your cool because I certainly wouldn't have been able to. You will look fantastic with your (hopeful) baby bump in those wedding pictures!

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