Second Baby stirrings?

cheetagirl · March 2016

My husband and I had a heck of a time trying to have a baby. we went through so much, so many different things and finally did IVF with donor embryos and had our beautiful son. I was ok with only having one child (and still am ok with it 99 percent of the time) Because of my age, the expense, what I had to go through. (none of it was easy) But now that my baby is almost 4 months old I feel myself getting a little sad that I won't ever have this again with another baby. that I'll never watch another baby go through the stages. It would complicate our situation so much, especially financially...But I just sometimes feel a little sad to think we'll only have one. He is enough, don't get me wrong we're so happy and excited and blessed. we're so lucky to have him..and if we only ever have him I'm so ok with it. But I wonder if my husband and I should just stay off birth control and see what happens? I mean it didn't happen on it's own or with ICI and IUI for 5 years. what are the odds? but then I've heard of many people who have babies with their husbands after adoption or IVF and they do it naturally. so it could happen. What are your thoughts?

hlz128 · March 2016

I can relate in a way. My husband and I tried for almost 4years to get pregnant before finally having our son. We were considering IVF and I was about to start taking fertility medication to increase our chances. Because of this we talked about trying again almost immediately after having him so it would be easier this time. We decided to wait a year before trying again though. I'm sorry you're going through this and that you've had such a struggle. Personally though if it were me I wouldn't try right away if it is going to cause your family financial distress. If you think your family would be alright though I'd say there's no harm in trying. Or maybe just not prevent and see what happens

cheetagirl · March 2016

Thank you for replying. I do think that it might put a strain on us financially right now. But that won't be the case forever. I think maybe we will just be careful for a while and then just not prevent for a while and see what happens. After a few years I might get on birth control just because I don't want to have a child too old either. My blood pressure was off at the end of the pregnancy. Age can only complicate things futher, but...we might just let things go and see what happens for a year or two first.

thank you again

blended10 · March 2016

Lurker from d15- just a quick story- I had my ds 5 years ago via ivf after 3 failed iui's plus other if treatments. I then went on bc thinking I was "one & done" (I also had preeclampsia). Well fast forward 4 years & I started getting bad headaches my bp was all over the place - so I went off bc (I was 34) and said to heck with it- I'm barely fertile anyway. 5 months after going off -surprise!!! -bfp w/ baby number 2. My darling little girl that I never knew I wanted. We were shocked!
So I'll just say - you never know. I'm 35 now & I know for certain my family is complete. If you'd have asked me 5.5 years ago I would've said everything you said - too old, not enough $$, it won't work anyway....you just don't know what life has in store for you!

cheetagirl · March 2016

that's very true. you never know what life has in store. I always want to know, but I know that it will make the journey less meaningful, the goodtimes less sweet and the hardtimes to come...well we'd just fret about it more wouldn't we? So if God or fate or luck or whatever has another baby in mind for us I guess we'll get lucky enough to have a second little miracle. I'm sure we'll manage financially it'll just mean less vacations lol. but more togetherness and love to spread around

Jeenyus · March 2016

I can relate, to a degree. My husband and I tried for five years, lost three babies, were told we had a 1-2% chance of ever conceiving on our own, were beginning our first cycle for IUI after many cycles of Femera weren't working, and found out I was pregnant from the bloodwork that was being done for the IUI.

I chose not to go back on BC after my daughters birth ... we figure if it happens it happens, and if it doesn't happen after 18 months we will go back to the fertility clinic. We had previously saved for one round of IVF (about $10-14 000 here), but have decided we will no longer go to those lengths if we can't have another child. We will do a few rounds of IUI if needed though.

I had these same feelings start to creep in as my daughter passed milestones. Before I would be so sad thinking I may never have the chance to experience them, and now it's that we likely never will again. We also talk sometimes about how wonderful it would be for DD to have a sibling (or two).

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