Babies on the Brain
irohspupil
member
Me: 25 | DH: 25
DD: Aug. 15
Settling Differences on Number of Children
irohspupil
member
I wasn't sure how to word that title so I hope it worked out...
If one partner firmly wants no more than two children and swears on getting snipped as soon as the second child is born, is it fair to the other partner who very much wants four children? DH and I are in this situation. We haven't started TTC for #2 yet because DH isn't ready for that, but he has stated that two is the maximum amount of children he is willing to have. I really want four children, and I thought it would be fair to compromise on three... but is that a compromise? I feel like it is more fair than DH making that decision himself since I don't want him to get snipped in the future. He's worried about paying for their tuition, and I'm worried about the children I might not get to meet.
So, I guess I'm asking... Is the compromise going with the lowest amount of children one partner is willing to have? Am I being selfish? I'm probably too close to the situation to see it fairly from his view, so I'm hoping any of you have some input. I've searched the boards and a poll of how many one wants to have came up from 2012. Not the same thing.
If one partner firmly wants no more than two children and swears on getting snipped as soon as the second child is born, is it fair to the other partner who very much wants four children? DH and I are in this situation. We haven't started TTC for #2 yet because DH isn't ready for that, but he has stated that two is the maximum amount of children he is willing to have. I really want four children, and I thought it would be fair to compromise on three... but is that a compromise? I feel like it is more fair than DH making that decision himself since I don't want him to get snipped in the future. He's worried about paying for their tuition, and I'm worried about the children I might not get to meet.
So, I guess I'm asking... Is the compromise going with the lowest amount of children one partner is willing to have? Am I being selfish? I'm probably too close to the situation to see it fairly from his view, so I'm hoping any of you have some input. I've searched the boards and a poll of how many one wants to have came up from 2012. Not the same thing.
Me: 25 | DH: 25
DD: Aug. 15
Re: Settling Differences on Number of Children
TTGP July Siggy Challenge: Summer Fails
Me: 25 | DH: 25
DD: Aug. 15
TW: Loss
I don't think it is as simple as he wants 2 and you want 4.
I would start with seeing how you handle 2 kids. Then take a seriously look at your finances, time, medical history, retirement, size of your house, type of cars you would need, etc. Then see if 3 or 4 kids is even practical.
**** Formerly Snoflakes4eva****