May 2016 Moms
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WTF WED

WTF....to me.  I worked 11-8 today so I had the whole morning to do stuff.  By stuff I mean exercise.  Since giving up spin I've been PLANNING to walk more or do prenatal yoga.  Last night I swore I was going to do one or the other this morning before work since the weather is amazing today.  I did neither.  I suck.  Instead, I cuddled my dog and started a registry on Amazon for the completion discount, since about half of their prices are better than Target.  No exercise was performed, unless you count the massive upper body workout that takes place every time I try and get off the couch since my core no longer functions.

Re: WTF WED

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    WTF to me, too! Why did I wear these shoes?!? Luckily my H works from home and is bringing me a pair that actually fits properly. I feel guilty but I really can't get them back on and it will be problematic when it comes time to walk to the subway after work. Whadda guy!
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    WTF to the swelling now in full force. I was barely able to get my rings off yesterday... Took quite a bit of effort.  Kept them off a few hours and they went back on no problem. Now to today... I can still get them off but barely, but I have a feeling I should probably just keep them off now. I have a replacement I can wear, but I don't want to take these ones off. :(
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    wtf to my self-induced anxiety. i just read a facebook post from a girl i went to high school with honoring the anniversary of her stillbirth and it freaked me out so much i can't stop imagining things are wrong with LO now. i need to cool it.
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    1mae20161mae2016 member
    edited March 2016
    @babyfmama  I've been making the mistake of looking up all of the things that can wrong during labor, birth, and post labor. And once I start searching I CAN'T STOP! Although I'm sure your LO is perfectly healthy, I understand the self-induced anxiety. 
    Edited for grammatical errors
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    WTF to my hospital. I went on the OB Tour last night and I was pretty excited to see the birthing rooms as they have birthing tubs. And I quote from their website "Labor & Delivery rooms are softly lit and designed for comfort, with mobile (wireless) fetal monitoring so you can walk about freely, birthing balls, squatting bars and hydrotherapy tubs" During the presentation it says they have 14 birthing rooms and ONLY 2 have tubs!! To be assigned one of these, your birth plan has to be unmedicated. My plan was to labor in the tub as long as possible and then get an epidural. Guess thats not going to happen unless I change my mind about the epidural. 
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    WTF to my FIL, who decides a great topic at dinner the other night would be all the cases (retired law enforcement) he has had to deal with people who have abused or murdered their infant child. I was in absolute horror.
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    WTF to my hospital. I went on the OB Tour last night and I was pretty excited to see the birthing rooms as they have birthing tubs. And I quote from their website "Labor & Delivery rooms are softly lit and designed for comfort, with mobile (wireless) fetal monitoring so you can walk about freely, birthing balls, squatting bars and hydrotherapy tubs" During the presentation it says they have 14 birthing rooms and ONLY 2 have tubs!! To be assigned one of these, your birth plan has to be unmedicated. My plan was to labor in the tub as long as possible and then get an epidural. Guess thats not going to happen unless I change my mind about the epidural. 

    That's pretty ridiculous!  It's pretty unfair that you can only get that room if you choose an unmedicated birth instead it being an option to all on a you get it if you want and it's open basis.  Maybe you can tell them you're going unmedicated...because what are the chances they'd tell you no you can't have an epidural if you change your mind halfway through labor?  "Sorry sweetie, you said an unmedicated birth so you're just going to have to suck it up!"  Unlikely.  Or at least I don't think anyone who has ever said that to a pregnant lady has lived to talk about it. 
    My hospital has the exact same policy. And I'm pretty sure (if I'm remembering correctly) that if you do decide to have an epidural, they'll move you to another room to accommodate someone who is going med-free. I kind of stopped listening at that point because there's no way my birth plan doesn't include drugs. 
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    babyfmama said:
    WTF to my hospital. I went on the OB Tour last night and I was pretty excited to see the birthing rooms as they have birthing tubs. And I quote from their website "Labor & Delivery rooms are softly lit and designed for comfort, with mobile (wireless) fetal monitoring so you can walk about freely, birthing balls, squatting bars and hydrotherapy tubs" During the presentation it says they have 14 birthing rooms and ONLY 2 have tubs!! To be assigned one of these, your birth plan has to be unmedicated. My plan was to labor in the tub as long as possible and then get an epidural. Guess thats not going to happen unless I change my mind about the epidural. 

    That's pretty ridiculous!  It's pretty unfair that you can only get that room if you choose an unmedicated birth instead it being an option to all on a you get it if you want and it's open basis.  Maybe you can tell them you're going unmedicated...because what are the chances they'd tell you no you can't have an epidural if you change your mind halfway through labor?  "Sorry sweetie, you said an unmedicated birth so you're just going to have to suck it up!"  Unlikely.  Or at least I don't think anyone who has ever said that to a pregnant lady has lived to talk about it. 
    My hospital has the exact same policy. And I'm pretty sure (if I'm remembering correctly) that if you do decide to have an epidural, they'll move you to another room to accommodate someone who is going med-free. I kind of stopped listening at that point because there's no way my birth plan doesn't include drugs. 
    This now makes me wonder if my hospital has this policy.  They have tubs, but I'm not totally clear on if they're in every room or not and I don'thave my hospital tour until the beginning of May.  
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    @valerie4786 Thanks. I thought about just saying that I plan to go unmedicated and then at the end " Oh I can't do this, I need an epidural." My hospital is the only delivery hospital in the county (and the best in the 4 surrounding counties). There's no way that I will be the only one in labor and have open access to that room. 
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    wsgjmw1 said:
    WTF to my FIL, who decides a great topic at dinner the other night would be all the cases (retired law enforcement) he has had to deal with people who have abused or murdered their infant child. I was in absolute horror.
    WHY.
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    It's not Wednesday but it might still be late Wednesday somewhere?! Anyways, WTF to the guy in the local grocer who came up to me with a FULL basket of food and asked me to pay for it. Uhm, no dude. If he asked for the basic necessities - I would have been more gracious, but it was a lot of food. And now I feel bad for not helping him. 

    WTF actually to a corrupt system which allows people to starve and not have access to food.

    And WTF to me for working myself up about it - I obviously feel guilty, but it's not up to me to take care of everyone - I do my part to help those in need in other ways.
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    WTF to the woman who blocked the intersection I was turning into yesterday.  I am still mad about this.  

    I was trying to make a left turn onto a side street from a busy road two lanes in both directions (as were the three cars behind me) and I did what you're supposed to do: I signaled my intention to turn and waited for the traffic from the light at the intersection (1/2 block away) to back up so that everyone would stop and I could turn.  Every other car played the game: the cars who stopped before the intersection pulled up as far as they could; the cars who stopped after the intersection left enough room for people to get through so they weren't blocking the intersection. Except for this one woman, who parked in the middle of the intersection, with a car length in front of her and a car length behind, just in the exact right spot to block everyone. 

    If hers hadn't been the only car in the way, or if she couldn't move her car, I'd have given up and gone the (very) long way round, because the cars lining up to turn behind me were getting close to blocking the intersection behind.  But it was just her, and she had plenty of room. So I gave the friendliest honk I could, and indicated that she had space to move up.  She freaks out, *backs up* her car so much that she almost hits the person behind her, and then blares her horn and flips me the bird!  Not only that--after I turned, she started moving forward, darn near t-boning the person who was making the turn behind me!

    I am still really mad about this and I can't figure out why. I think it's because I know that woman went home thinking that she was a good driver and that *I* was the problem, when it was she who almost singlehandedly caused a traffic jam and two accidents. INJUSTICE! But also, I *really* don't like loud noises (which is why DH does all the vacuuming), and her blaring her horn really rattled me and I was kind of skittish all night.
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    Pascal86 said:
    WTF to the giant cyst I found tonight at the top of my pubes. Why would that go there?? Then just read all the normal stuff about how you shouldn't squeeze it and if in case it's infected especially don't squeeze it blah blah blah infection can spread, dangerous if you're pregnant, blah blah blah... all I want to do is squeeze it right now. I can't even look at it close because it's under my giant stupid belly. I know this is super gross, but to everyone who likes squeezing stuff, I know you get it.
    I had one that magically appeared on my honeymoon (9 weeks pregnant) like right where I hit the toilet seat down there. I was so pissed and it hurt so bad every time I sat down. My ob said warm/hot compress and just let it do its thing. I'm a popper too and it drove me crazy. It's still there even now, just super super small. Sorry you've got that going on, it's no fun! 
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    WTF to administrators who think they can use the library whenever they want without planning ahead.  To my principal, "is another space available" is not the same as "we need the library," and when you forward me the original email from the requestor asking "is another space available" and I have already booked something in the library, I'm going to call you out on telling me "we need the library."  You don't, you just want it.

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    Pregnancy Ticker

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    My WTF goes out to Burlington Coat Factory

    We ordered our nursery set back in December like the day after Christmas.  We ordered it in cherry. We put it on lay a way.  We were told that it would take six weeks to arrive at the store.  We have paid all but the last 20 dollars of it.  We were planning on going and picking it up this weekend and putting it into the nursery. 

    Our neighbor works at Burlington Coat Factory in the Baby Depot department.  She has been out of work since mid December with knee surgery. 

    So DH was messing with the car outside tonight and I was standing out there eating my supper talking to him when the neighbor comes walking across the yard.  She wanted to let us know that today was her first day back and she had been looking at the special orders that occured while she was out. (not sure why they call them special orders since they have the furniture sitting out to look at.  to me that is just ordering. nothing special about it).  and she noticed that they had sent something to the store saying that the nursery set in cherry had been discontinued.  She let us know that we'd have to pick another color and she told us what we could choose from.  And that it would be another six weeks before it could get there.  I told my neighbor that I was due in May and she said that she would even try to see if any of the other stores have any on hand before ordering.

    First of all, a many gracious thank yous to our neighbor for going above and beyond and letting us know what was going on.   She is NOT the cause for my wtf.

    But seriously, wtf Burlington?!?!?!  Were they not going to even call us and let us know? They have had over a month to do so.    Secondly, does the manager of the store not have a clue about what is going on in her store?  We had to talk to the manager to even do the layaway in the first place b/c the person on the register did not know how.  You would think that the manager would know that, that color was discontinued. 

    I am so glad our neighbor came and told us that.  I know for a fact that if we had went there on Saturday to pick it up and we were told that, I would have probably lost my shit and probably would have went all bitch fit on whoever was the unfortunate person to break the news.

    Having worked retail in the past for several years, I usually try to keep my cool and be understanding, but there is absolutely zero excuse for this.
    Having worked in retail before, I agree there is zero excuse for this. I worked in customer service so I would do special order tickets all the time... The first thing we were always told to check is if something was being discontinued. Also if something looked off when we tried to do them we would call the warehouse to verify. Things would happen, but we would be notified and then we would call the customer right away. It sounds like the item being discontinued wasn't a big secret... They definitely should have let you know sooner.
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    kbrands7kbrands7 member
    edited March 2016
    Wtf, HR. When I filled out my paperwork for maternity leave, I emailed to explain how I intended to fill it out to be sure I was understanding the policy correctly and that nothing had changed. They confirmed that I could proceed as planned. Now, this evening, I get a call that my leave is not approved as I applied for it, my start date has to be my paper due date of May 10th (my actual measured date is May 5th, but I agreed with my OB in the first tri to keep the later date on paper to potentially give me more time to vbac). HR said they have started granting leaves in this way the past month or so and this is the new policy. Teachers have no contract to protect us right now because it expired last June and no one wants a strike, but it means that small policy changes like this can be made arbitrarily with no recourse because we're basically operating from past precedent.  So, apparently I now have to work until I'm 40+5.  :'( I'm calling my doctor tomorrow to see if they can pull some kind of paperwork magic for me.
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    WTF to my hospital. I went on the OB Tour last night and I was pretty excited to see the birthing rooms as they have birthing tubs. And I quote from their website "Labor & Delivery rooms are softly lit and designed for comfort, with mobile (wireless) fetal monitoring so you can walk about freely, birthing balls, squatting bars and hydrotherapy tubs" During the presentation it says they have 14 birthing rooms and ONLY 2 have tubs!! To be assigned one of these, your birth plan has to be unmedicated. My plan was to labor in the tub as long as possible and then get an epidural. Guess thats not going to happen unless I change my mind about the epidural. 
    The hospital I am birthing at has tubs in some rooms and showers in others. In order to get a tub you have to request one when you check in and if they have one you get it, whether you plan to get medication or not. I think it's crap that you have to do unmedicated to get a tub. :/ 

    Me: 31

    DH: 29, SA - Great

    Married: June 12,2011

    TTC #1: 1/2014

    Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea

    Treatment: Clomid:  50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored

                      Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI  IUI #1 8/31/2015

    9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!
    Heartbeat 10/2/2015: 118bpm
    DS: 5/27/2016

    TTC# 2: 12/2017
    BFP: 4/20/2018
    EDD: 12/29/2018
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    kbrands7 said:
    Wtf, HR. When I filled out my paperwork for maternity leave, I emailed to explain how I intended to fill it out to be sure I was understanding the policy correctly and that nothing had changed. They confirmed that I could proceed as planned. Now, this evening, I get a call that my leave is not approved as I applied for it, my start date has to be my paper due date of May 10th (my actual measured date is May 5th, but I agreed with my OB in the first tri to keep the later date on paper to potentially give me more time to vbac). HR said they have started granting leaves in this way the past month or so and this is the new policy. Teachers have no contract to protect us right now because it expired last June and no one wants a strike, but it means that small policy changes like this can be made arbitrarily with no recourse because we're basically operating from past precedent.  So, apparently I now have to work until I'm 40+5.  :'( I'm calling my doctor tomorrow to see if they can pull some kind of paperwork magic for me.
    This is ridiculous.  I can't believe they can dictate when your leave starts.  It's not up to them, it's up to you and your doctor.  I'm sure your doctor will have a paperwork solution.
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    Aquinna82 said:
    kbrands7 said:
    Wtf, HR. When I filled out my paperwork for maternity leave, I emailed to explain how I intended to fill it out to be sure I was understanding the policy correctly and that nothing had changed. They confirmed that I could proceed as planned. Now, this evening, I get a call that my leave is not approved as I applied for it, my start date has to be my paper due date of May 10th (my actual measured date is May 5th, but I agreed with my OB in the first tri to keep the later date on paper to potentially give me more time to vbac). HR said they have started granting leaves in this way the past month or so and this is the new policy. Teachers have no contract to protect us right now because it expired last June and no one wants a strike, but it means that small policy changes like this can be made arbitrarily with no recourse because we're basically operating from past precedent.  So, apparently I now have to work until I'm 40+5.  :'( I'm calling my doctor tomorrow to see if they can pull some kind of paperwork magic for me.
    This is ridiculous.  I can't believe they can dictate when your leave starts.  It's not up to them, it's up to you and your doctor.  I'm sure your doctor will have a paperwork solution.
    This. When I got my paperwork, my midwife actually asked me when I wanted to leave and I said around my due date. So she actually put on there the due date (5/14) or at birth of child. If I had wanted to start my leave earlier though they would have put whatever I wanted, it didn't have to be my due date. I turned it into work and all they asked was when I actually planned on leaving bc they know that 'things happen'... I said I'm leaving whenever I need to, whether it be before or even after what is on the paper. The HR person didn't argue, just said to let them know when I may be on my way out. 

    But ditto to PP. Talk to your doctor. Mine was extremely accommodating and made sure I got what I wanted out of my leave and not my employer before she filled everything out. I'm sure they've run into this before and will have a solution for you.
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    dsmith211 said:
    Aquinna82 said:
    kbrands7 said:
    Wtf, HR. When I filled out my paperwork for maternity leave, I emailed to explain how I intended to fill it out to be sure I was understanding the policy correctly and that nothing had changed. They confirmed that I could proceed as planned. Now, this evening, I get a call that my leave is not approved as I applied for it, my start date has to be my paper due date of May 10th (my actual measured date is May 5th, but I agreed with my OB in the first tri to keep the later date on paper to potentially give me more time to vbac). HR said they have started granting leaves in this way the past month or so and this is the new policy. Teachers have no contract to protect us right now because it expired last June and no one wants a strike, but it means that small policy changes like this can be made arbitrarily with no recourse because we're basically operating from past precedent.  So, apparently I now have to work until I'm 40+5.  :'( I'm calling my doctor tomorrow to see if they can pull some kind of paperwork magic for me.
    This is ridiculous.  I can't believe they can dictate when your leave starts.  It's not up to them, it's up to you and your doctor.  I'm sure your doctor will have a paperwork solution.
    This. When I got my paperwork, my midwife actually asked me when I wanted to leave and I said around my due date. So she actually put on there the due date (5/14) or at birth of child. If I had wanted to start my leave earlier though they would have put whatever I wanted, it didn't have to be my due date. I turned it into work and all they asked was when I actually planned on leaving bc they know that 'things happen'... I said I'm leaving whenever I need to, whether it be before or even after what is on the paper. The HR person didn't argue, just said to let them know when I may be on my way out. 

    But ditto to PP. Talk to your doctor. Mine was extremely accommodating and made sure I got what I wanted out of my leave and not my employer before she filled everything out. I'm sure they've run into this before and will have a solution for you.
    Also to add...some HR people either don't know what they're talking about or will try to pull something to make your leave fit into their box a little better.  I say this (sadly) as an HR professional.  Also, my personal experience, my husband's "HR rep" (i.e. receptionist elevated to the position for reasons unknown) tried to tell him that he didn't qualify for FMLA leave when the baby comes even though he very clearly does...partially because she didn't read the law, and partially because they really can't spare him for any length of time and were hoping he'd go away quietly when told he wasn't entitled.  
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    Aquinna82 said:
    dsmith211 said:
    Aquinna82 said:
    kbrands7 said:
    Wtf, HR. When I filled out my paperwork for maternity leave, I emailed to explain how I intended to fill it out to be sure I was understanding the policy correctly and that nothing had changed. They confirmed that I could proceed as planned. Now, this evening, I get a call that my leave is not approved as I applied for it, my start date has to be my paper due date of May 10th (my actual measured date is May 5th, but I agreed with my OB in the first tri to keep the later date on paper to potentially give me more time to vbac). HR said they have started granting leaves in this way the past month or so and this is the new policy. Teachers have no contract to protect us right now because it expired last June and no one wants a strike, but it means that small policy changes like this can be made arbitrarily with no recourse because we're basically operating from past precedent.  So, apparently I now have to work until I'm 40+5.  :'( I'm calling my doctor tomorrow to see if they can pull some kind of paperwork magic for me.
    This is ridiculous.  I can't believe they can dictate when your leave starts.  It's not up to them, it's up to you and your doctor.  I'm sure your doctor will have a paperwork solution.
    This. When I got my paperwork, my midwife actually asked me when I wanted to leave and I said around my due date. So she actually put on there the due date (5/14) or at birth of child. If I had wanted to start my leave earlier though they would have put whatever I wanted, it didn't have to be my due date. I turned it into work and all they asked was when I actually planned on leaving bc they know that 'things happen'... I said I'm leaving whenever I need to, whether it be before or even after what is on the paper. The HR person didn't argue, just said to let them know when I may be on my way out. 

    But ditto to PP. Talk to your doctor. Mine was extremely accommodating and made sure I got what I wanted out of my leave and not my employer before she filled everything out. I'm sure they've run into this before and will have a solution for you.
    Also to add...some HR people either don't know what they're talking about or will try to pull something to make your leave fit into their box a little better.  I say this (sadly) as an HR professional.  Also, my personal experience, my husband's "HR rep" (i.e. receptionist elevated to the position for reasons unknown) tried to tell him that he didn't qualify for FMLA leave when the baby comes even though he very clearly does...partially because she didn't read the law, and partially because they really can't spare him for any length of time and were hoping he'd go away quietly when told he wasn't entitled.  
    Thanks @Aquinna82 @dsmith211! I was just so thrown off by this yesterday. (and pretty devestated to be honest because I'm already uncomfortable and I really want a few days with DS before going into labor if possible). With my son, I peaced out at 39 weeks with no issue, and it worked out well because my water broke at 39+1. I was hoping to start my leave the same time this pregnancy-- and someone at my school just started a maternity leave last month partway through her 39th week. When I tried to question it, the HR rep (we only have one now) just put her foot down on the matter and said that this is the way they handle things now. I'm really hoping that a doctor's note does the trick.
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    @kbrands7 are you covered by FMLA?
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    Aquinna82 said:
    @kbrands7 are you covered by FMLA?
    Yes.
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    kbrands7 said:
    Aquinna82 said:
    @kbrands7 are you covered by FMLA?
    Yes.
    Are your maternity forms the FMLA forms or are they separate ones? My work actually had me fill out the government FMLA paperwork and that's one place I had my midwife put the date I wanted to leave, but she was able to leave it open to change in the comments section that the form has. She essentially said that barring no circumstantial changes I would leave on the date of the form, but it could change if she felt necessary for my and the child's wellbeing. I don't think you actually need the form itself, but if you find one online and have your doctor follow a similar format in a note then I don't see where your employer can really argue it.
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    dsmith211 said:
    kbrands7 said:
    Aquinna82 said:
    @kbrands7 are you covered by FMLA?
    Yes.
    Are your maternity forms the FMLA forms or are they separate ones? My work actually had me fill out the government FMLA paperwork and that's one place I had my midwife put the date I wanted to leave, but she was able to leave it open to change in the comments section that the form has. She essentially said that barring no circumstantial changes I would leave on the date of the form, but it could change if she felt necessary for my and the child's wellbeing. I don't think you actually need the form itself, but if you find one online and have your doctor follow a similar format in a note then I don't see where your employer can really argue it.
    This exactly.  Once your doctor indicates the date that you'll be leaving due to your covered medical condition, whether it's your due date, or it's tomorrow, on the FMLA form, your HR person can suck it.  She has to handle things according to the law and if she doesn't like it that's too bad.
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    Aquinna82 said:
    dsmith211 said:
    kbrands7 said:
    Aquinna82 said:
    @kbrands7 are you covered by FMLA?
    Yes.
    Are your maternity forms the FMLA forms or are they separate ones? My work actually had me fill out the government FMLA paperwork and that's one place I had my midwife put the date I wanted to leave, but she was able to leave it open to change in the comments section that the form has. She essentially said that barring no circumstantial changes I would leave on the date of the form, but it could change if she felt necessary for my and the child's wellbeing. I don't think you actually need the form itself, but if you find one online and have your doctor follow a similar format in a note then I don't see where your employer can really argue it.
    This exactly.  Once your doctor indicates the date that you'll be leaving due to your covered medical condition, whether it's your due date, or it's tomorrow, on the FMLA form, your HR person can suck it.  She has to handle things according to the law and if she doesn't like it that's too bad.

    ******QBF*******
    This is what I'll do. They did put a provision in there for me to take leave earlier than the EDD, but apparently, they didn't specify the date my doctor and I had discussed. I'm hoping that if the office follows this up with the date we discussed-- and obviously the provision if i were to go into labor before that, that they'll actually approve my leave as requested originally. Thank you for your help thinking through this!
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    Aquinna82 said:
    kbrands7 said:
    Wtf, HR. When I filled out my paperwork for maternity leave, I emailed to explain how I intended to fill it out to be sure I was understanding the policy correctly and that nothing had changed. They confirmed that I could proceed as planned. Now, this evening, I get a call that my leave is not approved as I applied for it, my start date has to be my paper due date of May 10th (my actual measured date is May 5th, but I agreed with my OB in the first tri to keep the later date on paper to potentially give me more time to vbac). HR said they have started granting leaves in this way the past month or so and this is the new policy. Teachers have no contract to protect us right now because it expired last June and no one wants a strike, but it means that small policy changes like this can be made arbitrarily with no recourse because we're basically operating from past precedent.  So, apparently I now have to work until I'm 40+5.  :'( I'm calling my doctor tomorrow to see if they can pull some kind of paperwork magic for me.
    This is ridiculous.  I can't believe they can dictate when your leave starts.  It's not up to them, it's up to you and your doctor.  I'm sure your doctor will have a paperwork solution.
    I'm a teacher and I had to fight a little bit to take leave before my water broke. Since we're due in May, we actually aren't able to take all of our federally allowed maternity leave, so they are allowed to "front end" your leave.
    for example, I'm eligible for 60 days, but if my baby was born on their due date id only be taking about half that, so they allowed me to bank another 30 before my baby is due.
    ive also heard good OB's will put you on "modified bed rest" if you need to get out of work before your baby comes
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    Also, use scary phrases like "water breaking while teaching a class" and "laboring while driving home by myself". I think painting a picture of a woman in labor with a bunch of second and third graders not knowing what to do is what really got them.
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