Both parents working full time. Looking to hear how others manage to get enough sleep

minibean · March 2016

My husband and I are returning to work tomorrow and are worried about the night time schedule. We are looking to hear what others do to ensure that both parents get enough sleep at night and what their schedules look like from evening to morning. Thanks so very much in advance.

Gingermom15 · March 2016

Ours is all over the place.

SO works 11p-7a Subday night through Friday morning. I work 6a-6p three days a week. I work every third weekend and he has military duty that same weekend.
There is one daycare within reasonable distance that accepts children as early as we needed. They cost more than I make a month BEFORE taxes and deductions.

So we pay my sister to stay the night here and watch Henry. She gets here around 8, I go to bed around 9:30ish after getting Henry down and she sleeps downstairs with him. He's a good sleeper, so she gets the easy shift lol. I wake up at 4 and pump using my hands free bra while getting ready, as he doesn't wake up to eat until after I leave at 5.
SO gets home 7:30 am and sleeps while sister continues to watch baby until he wakes up at 3:30. The way our work days fall, she babysits usually 2 times week.

On weekends when we are both gone all day I get up extra early at 3 am and take him to my parents, then pick him up after work. I despise those weekends because I run less sleep than when he was a newborn.

Peanut1128 · March 2016

It's tough, my husband and I take turns waking up with the baby. On a good night, he wakes up once and on a bad night maybe 3-4 times. We both work full time day hours so the biggest adjustment has been going to bed as early as possible, usually 9pm. On the weekend, my husband naps and I don't bother him. As much as I could use the sleep too and probably need it more he is a grump when he is tired.
I did the night shift while I was on maternity leave and he helped on the weekend, so it's actually better for me now! Good luck, I hope both of our babies start sleeping through the night soon.

MomofEv+1 · March 2016

I went back to work last week. I'm exclusively breastfeeding so I do the waking up. I did the same thing with my four year old. Right now I'm going to bed between 9:00 and 10:00 and getting up at 4:30. Sometimes my little gal sleeps through the night. Sometimes she wakes up once, but either way, I am so far doing fine.

The first time was a different story. There were days I literally laid under my desk for a quick 20 minute nap because I could not stay awake. It was awful.

misamima · March 2016

I would suggest taking turns each night with being on duty. So you take one night, and then your H takes the next night. That way, one of you at least get a restful night of sleep. I know some tag team and take turns during the night, but then both parents are both burnt out to work the following day. That can quickly lead to 2 tired and crabby parents that can turn on each other.

MaMinette13 · March 2016

I EBF so I do all the night time shifts. This also helps because DH gets a little touchy without enough sleep! I went back to work when LO was 8 weeks. She generally gets up once per night, but has done as much as 3 times. Normally it's just a quick feed, diaper change, and back to sleep in 20 minutes.

I did have 3 nights in a row of up for hours after feeding, and those sucked at work, but she is normally pretty good.

2winterbabies · March 2016

SO works in the morning and I work in the evenings. So while we are watching the kids we try to sneak in a nap before it's our time to go to work. That doesn't always happen, of course. We really are not getting the full "7 hours" of sleep an adult is supposed to get but at night time it is mostly me that wakes up to feed the baby. DH is a heavy sleeper and does not wake to anything. Even my DS... doesn't wake to anything .. (thank GOD!) so being the light sleeper I am I just do it. Sometimes DH will feed DD one time when she wakes up during the night (usually 1 or 2 am) because he doesn't go to bed early and that helps with me getting some more sleep in. I think overall we do well with juggling sleep.

Holdmomma · March 2016

I do the night shifts, but I have a good sleeper so it's not too hard right now. With our first I also was also the go-to parent at night. Since he woke several times every night well into his toddler years and often needed rocking or shushing to get back to sleep I would do what I could, but on long nights I would tap out and make DH take over. It wasn't easy.

teachmegs817 · March 2016

DH and I take 1 night shift each. He is still only sleeping max 3-3 1/2 hours and may go just over 4 hours total in between feeds. Sometimes, he barley makes it to 3 and he only gets 2 hours of sleep in between a feeding. He gets his last bottle before we put him down for the night between 8:00-9:00 p.m.. We also go to bed at this time too.

DH will usually get up between 11:30 p.m. -12:30 a.m. for his first feeding. So I essentially get to sleep anywhere from 8/9p.m.-3/4a.m.. Then I'll go back to sleep until my alarm goes off at 5:30. DH gets to sleep from 8/9p.m.-11p.m./12a.m. and then 1230/130-6a.m. when his alarm goes off. Some mornings I am groggier than others, but for the most part we are both getting anywhere from 6-8 hours of sleep. Is it straight through, no. But, we usually get a good 4 hour stretch and then a 2-3 before we get up.

We are really hoping DS starts giving us 5-6 hour stretches in between feeds so that on some nights, we are only getting up once in the middle of the night and then again while we are both getting ready for work. Hoping that time comes within the next 2-3 weeks.

theawc42 · March 2016

We use the woombie swaddle she she only wakes up once a night. We get pretty good sleep

amye02 · March 2016

Enough became subjective. Jackson will give me one 6 hour stretch then he's up every 3. If the 6 hours starts @ 9 or 10 I sleep, when it starts at 6pm I get maybe 4 hours. I have learned to function on a little less sleep and order an extra shot in my Starbucks

ssn109 · March 2016

Honestly, we don't. My DH becomes a big jerk when he's tired, so he doesn't get up with the baby unless there's a huge fit and he won't quiet down. If it wakes up DH and doesn't stop, he'll come help. Otherwise I do nights by myself, because I have to get up to BF/pump anyway, so what's the point of both of us being completely exhausted. The best we've managed is my DH, who is more of a night owl, will stay up if the baby isn't asleep by the time I'm done with my 8:30 pumping. It sucks, but I have a very flexible job and it's easier than putting up with a cranky DH.

NellieHarringtonCarter · March 2016

We co-sleep in the recliner in the living room. I know it's a bad habit, but I was miserable otherwise.

When we first brought her home, my DD wouldn't sleep unless she was held, usually while nursing. I'd nurse, she'd fall asleep, I put her down, 30 seconds later she'd scream, I'd pick her up and nurse her, she'd fall asleep.... etc. It got to the point where I was only getting two hours of sleep a night if my DH took her for two hours. It got to the point where I was falling asleep while

My husband works 8am-5pm, so I moved to the recliner where I could nurse my daughter and maybe get some sleep without the risk of dropping her. She's getting better at sleeping in the Rock and Play Sleeper now, but I still sleep in the recliner and she still ends up sleeping on me halfway through the night.

My husband doesn't help right now. We're going through a rough patch right now (not why I'm on the recliner), but once we're through it and I've moved back into the bedroom, I'm sure he'll help a little bit. Maybe.

Knottie65841689 · March 2016

NellieHarringtonCarter said:

We co-sleep in the recliner in the living room. I know it's a bad habit, but I was miserable otherwise.

When we first brought her home, my DD wouldn't sleep unless she was held, usually while nursing. I'd nurse, she'd fall asleep, I put her down, 30 seconds later she'd scream, I'd pick her up and nurse her, she'd fall asleep.... etc. It got to the point where I was only getting two hours of sleep a night if my DH took her for two hours. It got to the point where I was falling asleep while

My husband works 8am-5pm, so I moved to the recliner where I could nurse my daughter and maybe get some sleep without the risk of dropping her. She's getting better at sleeping in the Rock and Play Sleeper now, but I still sleep in the recliner and she still ends up sleeping on me halfway through the night.

My husband doesn't help right now. We're going through a rough patch right now (not why I'm on the recliner), but once we're through it and I've moved back into the bedroom, I'm sure he'll help a little bit. Maybe.

So have you thought about just bedsharing? Its a personal choice that does work and can be done safely. I do it and it has worked better for our family. She nurses while lying down and sleep while she eats. I think there is more danger in sleeping in a surface where baby could roll off of you.

NellieHarringtonCarter · March 2016

Knottie65841689 said:

So have you thought about just bedsharing? Its a personal choice that does work and can be done safely. I do it and it has worked better for our family. She nurses while lying down and sleep while she eats. I think there is more danger in sleeping in a surface where baby could roll off of you.

I've thought about it, and actually it might be something I try in the guest bed rather than in bed with my husband, just because having to worry about myself and him and where the baby is seems stressful. So far, though, there hasn't been any rolling or near-rolling (With my first daughter, I was parked on a chaise section of a sectional couch for a few months, and when I would nurse her, we did have an instance or two where she rolled off me when I nodded off. Just onto the couch, but it was still scary, and I moved into the bed after that).

laurabwalker · March 2016

NellieHarringtonCarter said:

Knottie65841689 said:

So have you thought about just bedsharing? Its a personal choice that does work and can be done safely. I do it and it has worked better for our family. She nurses while lying down and sleep while she eats. I think there is more danger in sleeping in a surface where baby could roll off of you.

I've thought about it, and actually it might be something I try in the guest bed rather than in bed with my husband, just because having to worry about myself and him and where the baby is seems stressful. So far, though, there hasn't been any rolling or near-rolling (With my first daughter, I was parked on a chaise section of a sectional couch for a few months, and when I would nurse her, we did have an instance or two where she rolled off me when I nodded off. Just onto the couch, but it was still scary, and I moved into the bed after that).

I would try if you have a spare bed, I bed share with the baby and my husband sleeps in her room right now just for the sake of helping me get more sleep

Knottie65841689 · March 2016

laurabwalker said:

NellieHarringtonCarter said:

Knottie65841689 said:

So have you thought about just bedsharing? Its a personal choice that does work and can be done safely. I do it and it has worked better for our family. She nurses while lying down and sleep while she eats. I think there is more danger in sleeping in a surface where baby could roll off of you.

I've thought about it, and actually it might be something I try in the guest bed rather than in bed with my husband, just because having to worry about myself and him and where the baby is seems stressful. So far, though, there hasn't been any rolling or near-rolling (With my first daughter, I was parked on a chaise section of a sectional couch for a few months, and when I would nurse her, we did have an instance or two where she rolled off me when I nodded off. Just onto the couch, but it was still scary, and I moved into the bed after that).

I would try if you have a spare bed, I bed share with the baby and my husband sleeps in her room right now just for the sake of helping me get more sleep

So for us. I have some hard pillows and what I do is place my LO in the normal nursing position laying down, you kinda spoon themand then the hard ass pillow stays between her and my husband. That way he cant rollover her ^.^.I would be careful when choosing to use pillows. This one I have is like a rock *__* so it cant move on top of her.

sarahjulypsu · March 2016

Google safe cosleeping, couch and recliners are really the least safe option. Guest bed would be good. You could do a mesh.bedrail on the side of the bed and baby between that and you. They say baby is safer by mom than dad.

dmendo01 · March 2016

We do pretty well. DD only wakes up once in the MOTN. I do all night feedings bc id have to pump anyway if I didn't just feed her but I am usually dying by the time she wakes up so its not too bothersome.

At 6:45 I wake up and pump while DH gets ready for work. Then he wakes her and feeds her the bottle and gets her ready to go to the sitter while I get ready. Then he takes her to the sitter since he doesn't have to work until 9am and I work at 8:30. On the weekends I usually make DH watch her for a few hours so I can take a nap.

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Both parents working full time. Looking to hear how others manage to get enough sleep

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