Telling DHs family.

TucknBoom · March 2016

We aren't telling H's family for a very long time. They have huge mouths and the minute they know everyone will. So we won't be telling his father or grandparents until minutes before we tell everyone else. We aren't telling his mother at all and she won't be meeting the baby ever. Does anyone else have issues with their in-laws? And is anyone else waiting to tell a certain someone?

MrsBigTime · March 2016

My in-laws are different, too, but more annoying than bad. Last time, we had told my husbands parents at about 8 weeks (they live in different state), but then his grandmother passed away unexpectedly. We were just about 11 weeks at the funeral and we flew in the night before the service, which meant we didn't see his parents until at the actual service. We did, however, ask both parents (his mother implicitly) to not say anything and that we weren't ready to announce yet. She didn't listen and proceeded to greet every family member coming to the funeral with a "I'm going to be a grandma!!", which proceeded to allow all the family members to come say hi to my DH and I and rub my belly and give us congratulations, all while the casket was right there! I was mortified! It was so tacky and distasteful, it still makes my stomach turn.

All that to say: this is YOUR beautiful news, and you can share it with whoever you want to or not, whenever you feel is best!!

honeybeewebb2424 · March 2016

I hear you out! My MIL cannot keep her mouth shut at all. She ruined just about every surprise ever since Ive known her. Some of the chart toppers are an extravagant surprise birthday party my friends I planned for DH a few years back, my SILs dinner baby announcement was ruined because she told everyone months before as soon as she knew, and she started talking to me about my bridal shower the date place and all. Shes lucky my MOH didn't attack her after all her hard planning. Also, we are in a rocky place because she was absolutely terrible and rude during my wedding planning.

This time around, DH is pretty adamant about being cautious of who we tell. Im personally see-sawing back and forth. I told my two very best friends only because they proved they could keep it a secret last time. I was at my dads house last night and was biting my tongue because I wanted to scream it out and tonight I have a wine tasting party to go to at my friends house that will certainly be hard to keep quiet and have believable excuses. Im honestly feeling this time around I think it might be easier if people know we are pregnant even in the event of a loss because then I don't need to explain myself or have to worry about someone unknowingly making an offensive comment. It is easier now to be around the people who know about our loss than people who never even knew we were pregnant to begin with.

Ash9614 · March 2016

My in-laws are in the slightly annoying category as well. They are just SO excited about everything, which is great for a lot of things. But there are other times when it can be exasperating. Case in point, I was in the midst of creating a personalized wedding album for both sets of parents - it took a while as I waited on the files from the photog. Did my ILs wait for the professional photos before showing them off to ppl? Nope. They took cell phone pics, printed them and put them in an album to pass around their church. Mind you, these were not posed pictures, it's the blurry, inbetween shots of the bridal party standing around or freshening make up - not the impression I'd like perfect strangers to have of my wedding. Also, they put a pic of our newly purchased home in the album. I know they were excited, but I couldn't help but be irritated that they passed around random pics of my wedding and home. And I found out about when we went to visit and ppl that if never met said how beautiful my wedding and home were. Insert eye roll here.

So, that makes announcing baby a stressor for us. I'd like to tell my parents Easter weekend, but we can't tell DH's parents until Mother's Day weekend. He doesn't think it's fair my parents know 6 weeks before his, which I do understand, but his parents can't hold water. Also, if something were to happen, I'd want my mom to know. But I digress. So, I'll probably tell mine on mid/late April when I'm about 10 weeks. His will find out at 13 weeks on Mother's Day. Compromise is fun

honeybeewebb2424 · March 2016

Ash9614 said:

My in-laws are in the slightly annoying category as well. They are just SO excited about everything, which is great for a lot of things. But there are other times when it can be exasperating. Case in point, I was in the midst of creating a personalized wedding album for both sets of parents - it took a while as I waited on the files from the photog. Did my ILs wait for the professional photos before showing them off to ppl? Nope. They took cell phone pics, printed them and put them in an album to pass around their church. Mind you, these were not posed pictures, it's the blurry, inbetween shots of the bridal party standing around or freshening make up - not the impression I'd like perfect strangers to have of my wedding. Also, they put a pic of our newly purchased home in the album. I know they were excited, but I couldn't help but be irritated that they passed around random pics of my wedding and home. And I found out about when we went to visit and ppl that if never met said how beautiful my wedding and home were. Insert eye roll here.

So, that makes announcing baby a stressor for us. I'd like to tell my parents Easter weekend, but we can't tell DH's parents until Mother's Day weekend. He doesn't think it's fair my parents know 6 weeks before his, which I do understand, but his parents can't hold water. Also, if something were to happen, I'd want my mom to know. But I digress. So, I'll probably tell mine on mid/late April when I'm about 10 weeks. His will find out at 13 weeks on Mother's Day. Compromise is fun

Same here! Im hoping I can get an appointment sooner rather than later and if we do and things are going well, we will be telling my moms side and my dads side on easter or while painting eggs the day before. His family however are gossip artists and will have to wait. Possibly mothers day for a nice surprise for her.

atcwag · March 2016

*Lurking*

With DS, I told my mom and best friends early(ish)...maybe 8 weeks or so? We waited to tell DH's parents until right before we announced on FB - right around 14 weeks. I have zero hope my MIL could keep any sort of secret and she is immature and attention-seeking.

carlatron · March 2016

We're going to hide this from all family and friends for as long as possible. The only person I want to tell is my husband's step-mom, because she is fantastic. The rest of them can't be trusted. I don't want to tell MIL at all, I want her to hear it elsewhere. I know my husband doesn't want to tell her, they're not on great terms. My mom is a total nightmare, she can't keep a secret ever.

mamahazey · March 2016

Wow! Can't believe so many of us are in the same boat! My mother in law can't keep a secret either. My husband is having a hard time with my family knowing and his not knowing... But Mine lives in another state and we know they won't tell before were ready.

It was really difficult when we lost out first baby and we were getting cards in the mail from people we didn't even know, congratulating us on our baby... I can't risk having to cover her tracks like that again.

banfrog · March 2016

I won't be saying anything until I absolutely have to. We don't see either side very often so might we might be able to avoid telling them until I'm just about to give birth. My mil threw a huge tantrum when we told them with our first. My mom is really helpful but said some hurtful things at the beginning of my last pregnancy. My experience has been after 3, even the most loving people get incredibly rude and opinionated.

ficbot · March 2016

My MIL is one of those people who cares about us and means well, but has a filter for the world where life is hard and difficult. Husband is worried they won't be excited and that when we tell them she will have all sorts of complaints about how expensive the baby will be and how his health is going to suffer from the extra work of caring for it. We are actually going to tell parents sooner than we might have because he is worrying so much about it that I just want to get it over with.

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