Older children at homebirth

Re: Older children at homebirth

• pixieprincss member

  August 2015

  We just had a home birth and our almost-3-year-old and 4.5-year-old chose to come in for the moment of delivery.  I did not want them distracting me during the labor in the basement, but for pushing I actually felt like my body would not release unless we'd invited them to be a part of the birth as previous discussed with them. We had talked about it for months, read books, done some silly (non-graphic) role playing as a family and with our midwife (like doing "lion roars" when explaining that I might be loud). The kids knew that coming downstairs (or even in the house) would be their choice and that grandma and grandpa would be in charge of them and respect their wishes. Once baby was born, they stayed for 30 minutes until I was ready to push out the placenta at which point I had them go upstairs. They came back down again after another 30 minutes to "help" with the newborn exam.

  
  

  My 4.5 year old loved being there for it and talks about it with amazement and curiosity. DS2 says he's glad he came, but is ambivalent (not surprising for his age and personality).  I'd say that you know your kid best and your needs in labor. There isn't a one-size-fits-all answer.  I will say that while it was wonderful to have that experience as a family--and I wouldn't have changed it--it did distract from me fully taking in all of the newborn's first moments. 

  

  
  More Green For Less Green

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• punkn82 member

  December 2015

  Hi, I am planning on having a home birth for my second child.  My daughter is 3 1/2 and will home during delivery.  What books and/or videos did you use with your children? Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated.  Thanks!

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• schweitz member

  February 2016

  When my mother had my youngest sister at home I took the rest of the kids into another room and put the tv on for them. My sister was born in like 1/2 hour (it was very quick!) and then we all got to see the baby and hold her pretty soon after. It was very cool. If there's someone who can just keep them out of your way during that time without making them leave that could work. 

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• Glow360 member

  March 2016

  For me birthing is not a spectator sport, I remember my mom giving birth and it was horrific in my brain....in fact because I watched her birth at seven, I'm giving birth solo, nobody in the room but dr and nurses. It mentally stuck with me my whole life and it wasn't pleasant. I didn't want to see my mothers traumatized vagina, if I could earase the memory I would. Just remember, that's a lot for a kid too see. Just my experience.

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