When do babies really want their moms? I crave the connection

misgin1980 · February 2016

When do babies really get attached to moms? And show that bond? My baby is 5 months and can laugh and smile and starts to coo and talk but I want more? When do they really want you? I crave the connection.

shelbydd · February 2016

I think it's already there. I don't tend to feel like LO really needs me (as in me specifically, I know he needs what I provide physically and comfort emotionally but needs me as his mom not just anyone to provide those things for him) when it's just us.. But then we get around my mom or someone and he will look for me. They'll do something to make him smile and he will turn to me. It doesn't always feel like he feels that connection but then something like that happens and I realize he does feel it, that's just the only way he can show it right now.

ForeverEverAfter · February 2016

I think it's been there from the start. My baby knows my heartbeat and voice. Right from birth, when she went to DH she was looking around, and she settled in when she came back to my chest. I EBF and bedshare, and haven't left her for more than 90min, so she's naturally used to me. With DD1 I really felt the connection when she could say 'mama' and tell other people that she wanted her mama (like when she's shy or hurt).

chelseajeanene · February 2016

I know what you mean. I am dying for when they reach for you and asked to be picked up

excited2bmommy09 · February 2016

My little guy is pretty bonded with me. If I'm not holding him he searches me out and watches me like he's afraid to lose sight. He doesn't hold his arms out, but he leans my direction whenever I get close. He gives me "kisses" and likes to hold my face lol. He is a total mamas boy, but his dad, my SO, has been away since he's been born so it's just him and I most of the time. He wants me constantly which is sweet, but hard sometimes too. Your little one will be showing it soon. Probably is even showing it now in unique little ways

thinkpink101 · February 2016

Each baby is so different. DS1 has never really seemed to need anyone. He didn't like to be held or cuddled as a baby or toddler. DS2 liked dh and I equally when he was little, his twin DS3 preferred me for a few months and screamed bloody murder if anyone else held him, then he too was fine with either of us. Now all three older boys strongly prefer dh. They are tweens and he definitely understands and relates to them better than I ever will. Boys are so strange, lol. DS4 just likes attention, from anyone. He will smile big and willingly go to anyone who will hold him. We'll see if that changes!

blondehairblueeyeditalianbaby · February 2016

DD tend to keep an eye on me when someone else is holding her but that was the extent until last week. DH and I went on a 4 night cruise and left both kids with my mom. The 3 year old could have cared less that we were gone. DD was really good while we were gone but not her normal happy self. She was very quiet the whole time. Her reaction when we got back was priceless. She practically jumped in my arms. She would snuggle into me and then look up and smile like she was checking to make sure I was really there. Then she did the same to DH. That's when I could really tell the bond was there but during everyday life it doesn't stick out to us like this image we have in our head.

Yiggle09 · February 2016

@thinkpink101 awe now I understand why your thinking pink 4 boys! I really like reading all your posts here ladies.

momofsweetps · February 2016

I 100% agree how each baby is different. This is baby #6 for us and he prefers me. He will seek me out and want only me. Poor dh sometimes.

kanga915 · February 2016

Ditto PP that said they're all different. My first was independent from day one. If you tried to snuggle her, she arched her back away from you. She was totally fine being put down by herself. To this day she will give quick hugs and kisses but only really wants us when she's sick. DD2 is a cuddlebug who wants to be held all the time. It boils down to personality and temperament.

Bellarose212 · February 2016

My 24 week old is already starting to make it known that he prefers me. I love it and hate it at the same time. He cries with my husband when I go out and looks around for me until I come back. When I come back, he'll stop crying and give a huge smile. It makes sense though because I'm home with him all day everyday. I just feel bad when I'm with the in-laws because they want to spend as much time with him as possible and he clearly just wants to be with me. But I'm assuming this is a phase and will eventually pass.

caityrose · February 2016

Lo prefers me or her grandparents. Especially grandma. Her dad has been in Germany all this time so she's a bit unsure but they are starting to build a bond and we finally move back in together tomorrow. She will reach her arms out to me to be picked up and she looks for me when she's in someone else's arms
I'm with her all day so it makes sense. She can play independently but she seems to like being held best.

szarlotka · February 2016

When I was on maternity leave, my son would always be super happy to see my husband when he came home and I didn't feel like the baby liked me as much. That changed when I went back to work. Now my son is usually eager to nurse for a while after I pick him up from daycare (makes me extra happy since we have milk supply issues and I was mostly convinced I'd dry up completely soon after going back to work). I also get unsolicited laughs when he looks at me sometimes. I don't think he's terribly *unhappy* when I'm gone, but it seems like my son needs to check-in if we've been separated too long.

irohspupil · February 2016

*lurking from Aug15 because it's super dead*

My LO only just started reaching for me, wanting me to pick her up, just a couple weeks ago around 28 weeks. She's even gotten to the point where she leans away from the person holding her and twists around while reaching for me if I'm near (30 weeks tomorrow).
She would fuss every time I left her line of sight or even stepped away from her around 26ish weeks.

kaybee03 · February 2016

My ds has been clingy with dh and i since about 4.5 months. He has a hard time on Monday mornings when my mom comes back to watch him. He gets back in the routine quickly but wants us as soon as we get home. We are 24 weeks in and every baby is different.

cmommy13 · March 2016

My DS is a cuddle bug and wants to be held all the time and reaches for me and says "mum" when he wants something. 25 weeks.

rosalbap2 · March 2016

I think it is happening now, he is 22 weeks. LO has been very attached to me, that I have been wearing him more often in order to get things done. It is funny because yesterday I got home from work and DH was feeding him, and as soon as LO heard me he pushed the bottle away and turned around and started cooing. It was the cutest thing! DH and I couldn't help but smile

nicolelynn915 · March 2016

My Lo prefers me over anyone. She will literally cry and fuss anytime anyone else picks her up. If I hand her to someone else she is okay as long as I'm still right there talking to her. She cries if I leave her sight and will literally reach for me if someone else is holding her. I love it, but it can get exhausting....

TabulaRasa25 · March 2016

Mine's head swivels like it's on a stick to follow me wherever I am in the room. Same thing with his dad, though he's ultra clingy with me right now, and I hope it's a short-lived phase. Don't get me wrong, I love our bond and cuddling with him, but it's not the best attachment right now...it's an "I cry if my mom leaves my sight" attachment, which is emotionally tough and exhausting. I'm working on my Master's, and three evenings a week, grandma or grandpa comes to sit with him for 45 minutes before dad gets home from work, so I can get to campus. The past couple of weeks, he's melted down at me leaving. The other day, I had an exam, and my FIL came to basically hold and fuss and play with him so I could study during the day, and if I dared move to another (quieter) room, he howled bloody murder. I tried to study with him in a front carrier, but he squawks if I'm not mobile while he's in the carrier...won't tolerate me sitting with him in it and doing other things, or trying. Draining. I know it's developmentally typical, and a phase, but man, oh, man...we'll be working on independence as he gets a little older. He has been the most easygoing, "sure, pass me around, I know people love me!" fall-asleep-on-anybody kind of kid for the first five months of his life, and now he's a little clinger who has to be with mom, or maybe kinda sorta dad sometimes.

My program is counseling psych, and I'm doing a family systems therapy sequence right now, and we're studying attachment theory...I'm all, "OHNOHEHASAMBIVALENTATTACHMENTSTYLEWHATAMIDOING WRONG??" And then I calm down and get over it.

kmcshane0211 · March 2016

@TabulaRasa25 Yes. I'm an educator and took loads of development courses. I'm obsessed with looking for signs of secure attachment and totally freak out when I see signs suggesting otherwise. It's hard not to apply what you know!

I I keep reminding myself that secure attachment only requires 30% of good enough parenting. So the odds are good!

tlc11934 · March 2016

My DD gets excited to see me when I pick her up from school. If DH is in the room she'll reach for him. They're best buddies! She's 24 weeks.

Want a personalized experience?

When do babies really want their moms? I crave the connection

Re: When do babies really want their moms? I crave the connection

Choose Another Board

Search Boards