LO just doesn't sleep.

LoveLee2014 · March 2016

Help me. I'm a zombie. I have had 4 colds in 3 months. My LO doesn't sleep. He naps so soundly in the day time. I don't do anything different other than I'm trying to sleep to at night. His day time naps are in the common area. We don't shut off anything or stop our day when he sleeps. And he sleeps perfect. DH thinks it's too quiet at night, so I use a noise maker. It doesn't help. He goes between fussy, screaming and mad the entire nighttime. Last night was the worst by far. He finally passed out due to sheer exhaustion at 5am and we slept until Noon when he woke me. He has always slept in a co sleeper type basket that goes in our bed. I carry it to the living room and he naps there in he day time, too. He's a back or side sleeper. He is 6 months old. Help me.

Side note: he has always ate at least twice at night. Around midnight and around 4/5am. He reused a bottle from midnight to 5am. Wasn't wet, wasn't hot, wasn't cold. Just fussy and mad. He has never gone to bed at 7 or 8...it's ALWAYS 10pm or later...usually later. DH suggesting we start transitioning a him to his room and letting Him CIO. I can't. It will KILL me. CIO is not an option here. It just doesn't work for us.

I get so jealous I want to cry when I read on here that people's LO have slept from 7-5 from like week 5!!!! Wtf am I doing wrong?!?!! I hardly gained any weight in my pregnancy. Lost it all after 15 days. Back to a flat stomach. NOW I haven't slept in 6 months and have easily gained 10/15 pounds. I'm MISERABLE. I looks ten times worse now than I did at 1 month after having LO. It's never sleeping and stress from never sleeping that is making me gain. I even eat healthy!!! It's insane. I would be a new woman if this baby slept at night. I don't sleep when LO doesn't sleep. DH works nights so the whole 'co parent so you can sleep' is out the door.

ElleMF728 · March 2016

When you say that he sleeps soundly during the day what does that mean? How long and how often? When does he usually wake for the day? A big change all at once is rarely a good idea, if he is waking later and you would like an earlier bedtime 30 minute intervals shifting morning and night tend to work best. I'd give it a night or two before any rash decisions, it could have been anything, tummy ache, teeth etc.

What does a "normal" night look like? I'm guess from your post that last night wasn't typical. Waking to eat is pretty normal at this age still, DS2 still eats twice most nights. DS1 did as well, I think he dropped down to one MOTN wake consistently around 7.5 months and then started STTN ( 7:30-7:30 am) at 10 months.

Does he usually eat when he wakes? Does he just eat an ounce or does he eat a full meal? My advice is usually to tackle one issue at a time, what is the most pressing issue right now? Is it bedtime? There are a few things happening around 6 months which can affect sleep like object permanence and big physical milestones, do you think these could be the culprit? We dealt with some object permanence issues a few weeks ago which were brutal, DS2 also transitioned to side/tummy sleeping which took some time for him to get used to.

jen83mn · March 2016

Same questions as the pp: How many hours is he sleeping during the day during his naps? Does he maybe have his days and nights confused again?

My LO sleeps a total of 3-4.5 hours during the day in naps (usually one 1.5 hour nap and one 2-3 hour nap). He goes to bed at 8:30 p.m. and will usually sleep until 7:30 or 8 a.m. (waking once at 4 a.m. or so to eat). The majority of LOs sleep should be during the day, so if your little guy is getting most of his sleep during the day (even to play catch up from bad sleep the night before), then it's a vicious cycle and probably has him confused (and you obviously frustrated and tired!!).

I would try limiting his naps during the day so he's getting 5 hours total sleep max during the daytime hours. Then make sure he's awake from his last nap of the day at least 2.5-4 hours before bedtime so he's tired and will be more inclined to sleep. What's his wake window right now? (My LO stays awake for 2.5-2.75 hours at a time during the day ... he's 6 months.)

Do you want to keep cosleeping, or was your plan to transition him into a crib? We moved our LO from the pack n play next to our bed to his own room and crib at 4 months (he had been napping in it since 8 weeks). He actually slept better once he was in his own room and crib with less distractions. If you wanted to start to transition him, take baby steps and just start doing one nap in his crib a day (whenever he sleeps best). Then let him hang out in there awake during the day to get used to it in small increments of time (we set our LO in his crib after every diaper change when we go wash our hands). Once he has one nap down, try adding another nap in the crib, and when he's got that down, try transitioning at night. Like pp said, babies will respond better to small, gradual changes and will resist major changes, so go slow.

Same thing for the bedtime ... gradually start bedtime early. Try putting him to bed 15-30 minutes than usual for a few nights until he has that down, then do another 30 minutes earlier, etc., until you reach the bedtime you want.

Our LO hasn't always slept great. He slept great from 6-11 weeks or so, then regressed from week 12-17 where he was waking after every single sleep cycle (60-90 minutes); we went in to soothe him back to sleep every time he woke up (we also don't believe in CIO). Then at 17 weeks he learned to self-soothe, usually by sucking on his fingers, and he put himself back to sleep. He's been sleeping really good since, especially the past 2 weeks since he started rolling over and sleeping on his stomach which he seems to prefer now that he can roll.

Hope you can find something that works and get some sleep!!

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