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August 2016 Moms
kiwico14
member
GTKY: Family Craziness
kiwico14
member
Your family, in-laws, whatever--we all have some family craziness going on.
Funny, sad, eye-roll-worthy, whatever...let's hear some stories so we can commiserate.
Funny, sad, eye-roll-worthy, whatever...let's hear some stories so we can commiserate.
Re: GTKY: Family Craziness
Except...they're totally not financially stable. I don't get it. SIL makes about as much as DH and I do combined, and BIL makes more than her. They rent a place nearby for a reasonable price. They have part-time child care from a neighbor. But somehow, they are still asking DH's parents for money to cover their bills. The kicker was when they didn't have money for groceries and the KIDS called us for help, but we went to take the some food and found out that they had just purchased a massive new flat screen TV and gas fireplace insert. DH's parents buy all the school clothes, school supplies, and extracurricular fees/gear for the kids because BIL claims he can't afford it (although they do a fair amount of shopping for the baby). However, BIL has a scary temper, and no one in the family will say anything for fear of being cut off from the older kids and being unable to support them.
It also makes me sad because their LO is really disconnected. It's obvious he just sits in front of the TV all day or plays by himself. He's also turning out to be a bit of a bully, which is an issue when he plays with DS and the other young cousins. The parents just laugh it off.
So, all the madness has led to some awkward relationships with my MIL and FIL. DH is their baby/golden child, and any emotional need not being met by BIL's family defaults to us. When DS was first born, there were constant comparisons between him and his cousin of the same age. The first thing MIL said to me when we found out SIL was pregnant was, "I hope if anyone has a girl, it's you, not SIL." (DH's family turns out a lot of boys.)
Ugh.
While all of my in laws have done something to be on this I'll focus on MIL. She put DH and I about 10,000 dollars in debt. When DH went to college he took out a small loan and his mom was supposed to be making payments on the rest. So he gets to the end of his fall semester and can't buy lunch one day so he goes to whatever office to see why and it turns out his mom hadn't paid a dime the entire semester so it was pay XXXXX amount of money or leave campus. He couldn't go to class or anything. So of course no one had the money so he had to leave campus, didn't get to take finals or anything. Wasted an entire semester. The greatest thing about this whole thing is she had him sign his name as the responsible party to pay it and said it would look good on his credit or something to that affect.
DHs grandpa passed away when he was 17. With his inheritance money his grandma took him and bought him a car, paid cash. She put the title in his moms name because he couldn't be on it by himself. A few years later after DH and I were married and we were pregnant with DD, we still hadn't switched the title over because it wasn't our main car but we still used it. I'm probably 8 months pregnant and sitting in our living room and I see a wrecked backing down our driveway. I call out to DH who goes running out there because all of our cars are paid off.
It turns out MIL had taken a title loan out on his car and stopped making the payments. Side note: title loans aren't even legal in our state she did it out of another state. To make matters worse, she told the people our address so they knew where to come get it and she didn't even warn us that it was coming.
I have so so many terrible in law stories I could write a book. But the worst thing she did to us was probably get us in debt.
I have concerns about the relationship my mother is in. I love her a lot and want to see her leave the situation. Time and time again she says she's done and is leaving and a week later it's "he's changed". How many times have we done this song and dance? My biggest concern is the impact this will have on my kid sister. I see kids all the time coming out of the same situation my sis is currently in and they end up with substance abuse issues. It's really scary and my mom won't hear it. I am a state away so there isn't a ton I can do. I just keep in contact with my mom and and sister and let them know I'm here.
Fast forward to when BIL met his current wife, it's as if she makes everything between me and her into a subconscious competition. They aren't financially stable or responsible but she had the nerve to ask me if our in-laws were excited when we told them we were having a baby because the in-laws were so excited when BIL and SILVER told them that they were having a baby (we're due about 3.5 months apart). Who asks that?! And then this week, DH posted a 4d ultrasound picture of our child and that same evening, SIL posted one of hers (yet hadn't posted an ultrasound picture in months despite having multiple ultrasounds).
I could go on forever. I'm super thankful that my parents are normal and DH is so appreciative of everything they do for us and that I am having a boy and SIL is having a girl (though I'm sure she'll continue to say how she's having the first granddaughter blah blah blah). I digress...
house. She always has them like a week or sometimes even a month before the actual holiday which is annoying. Their house is dirty too and everyone just sits on the floor and stares at each other. My fiancé doesn't like seeing them at all but does it out of guilt and now that I'm pregnant again and uncomfortable/irritable, I say if we don't want to go, we say no! They don't eat fruits or veggies so last time I brought a big fruit salad. Everyone looked at me like I had 5 heads. She wants us to come for Easter, and I would rather not waste my time.
They are are so dirty they shower about once a week and keep plants in their bathtub. There's a smell that lingers after they leave the room.
I'm also hoping that they stay away when I have the baby at first. Last time, when I had my youngest, they all piled into the hospital room which was uncomfortable. Also, the baby didn't want to be held by anyone other than me at the moment because she was cluster feeding and they insisted on continuing to hold her. Then, to make matters worse, we needed someone to let our dog out (15 min from hospital), but they insisted that my fiancé go with them to let him out. Like thank you for the help? Ugh. I could complain all day. This was nice to get out though.
The other crazy family is most of my inlaws... My MIL is an alcoholic, to the point where she can't even hold down a job... all she does is hold down the bar stool...All day, EVERY DAY! She called DH today while I was at work and asked if we wanted a sub that she had bought from a fundraiser, but didn't really want. She was at the bar a few miles from where I work, and she asked DH if I wanted to stop and get it on my way home. He told her that is the opposite way of home, and I probably wouldn't feel like it after working all day. He told her that I would be at work till 6 and that she could drop it off to me at work. She then asked him if we were coming over her way tomorrow since I'm off... Mind you, we do NOT go visit this woman! Her house should be condemned because all the money she gets is spent in the bar, instead of upkeep on her house! There is mold, and it stinks like her animals, and like cigarettes.... It's just disgusting and we don't take our kids over there. I don't think I've even been in the house since last summer! So he tells her he doesn't know... that we might go to a grocery store near her on Monday, but he didn't know. She then says, Ok I'll take it home and you can pick it up on your way through.... WTF!?!?! I want nothing that has been at her house!! My BIL is another F'd up one too, but that's an even longer story!
He proposed after I made it through my first holiday with his family.
To be fair, I have a crazy grandma. She is on the 'frequent flier" program with the ambulance guys, and has been declaring she is "coming to Jesus!" (as in dying) since she was in her mid fifties. She has "strokes", "heart attacks" or "goes into a diabetic coma" at LEAST once a month for the past 30 years. She has actually had a severe medical issue exactly once in my whole life. She is now 87, healthy as a horse, and pissed about it. I had a doctor ask me if I was familiar with dementia, and if we'd seen signs of it in her, after the last "stroke". I had to let the doctor know, unfortunately... she's always been like this. Yes she is crazy, but no it isn't related to age. The doctor still recommended a good geriatric psychologist (which hasn't helped.)
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12638545/a-catalogue-of-coincidences
Sadly miscarried our first pregnancy 09.09.15
There's almost no one that I can even remotely stand of my own family. They're all so judgemental and assholes.
My divorced parents actually get along better than most of my other extended family. When DH and I got married, ALL of my family fit at 1 - 8 top table. We had 100 people at our wedding. It was kind of sad to me, because DH's family is so much more civilized and we were able to invite his extended family without worrying about anyone starting drama. I pretty much have 1 aunt that I am still in contact with. My mom is on the mend with one of her sisters, but there are still a lot of trust issues there and really just too much drama to want to get close to her. Since both of my parents are 1 of 6 siblings, that's pretty sad.
We also had a falling out with my Uncle and his daughter, with whom I used to be best friends. We haven't talked in nearly two years, but to this day I do not know exactly why. My parents took in this cousin when she was 15 because her dad attempted suicide; she and I were super close growing up and into adulthood. My parents took my Uncle in when he was out of the hospital and he did nothing but take from them. He stole things from their garage and pawned them; he took money from his daughter on a regular basis and he never apologized. I wonder if he cut off communication with my parents out of shame but my mom says that he's mad at ME for something that happened during his custody trial, which would now be about 11 years ago; I have no idea what I did/said when I was 13 or 14 to make him upset with me. My cousin, on the other hand, stopped talking to me after we had an argument about her boyfriend at the time (she was crying all the time and miserable with him). She said something about how she and I wouldn't even be friends if we weren't cousins, so we stopped talking. She proceeded to talk a bunch of crap about me to our friends, so they all disowned her (I guess you could say they were on "my side" but only because I would never talk badly about people behind their backs the way she was talking about me, so they sided with me).
It kind of makes me stressed just thinking about all of that drama. I do miss my family all getting along and doing things together for holidays and such.
My husband's sister who is not medically, financially, or mentally stable has decided to have another baby because she is jealous of us. No other reason, everyone agrees its a terrible idea, her parents care for her current "child" (he's 13? 12? not little) and have point blank told her THEY can't handle another one. Her doctors told her she would be "extremely high risk" and she took that as a "go ahead!"
Sometimes I'm really glad they are on the other side of the country. This is a train wreck in the making.
My mom died almost 5 years ago, 3 weeks after my daughter was born. So awful and stressful. As an only child, I was incredibly close with both of my parents. They were married 36 years. I moved my family from FL to live with my dad. He remarried a bat sh*t crazy insecure emotional nightmare of a woman (who I met once while she stayed with us for a few weeks one summer, talk about a drama filled summer). She torn him from every single person (friends and family) and moved to FL. He has no relationship with anyone from his previous "life". I haven't seen him in 3 years. Don't speak often, about 7 weeks ago. It's heartbreaking that someone you love could become a different person. It's literally "somebody that I used to know."