Any firefighter wives/gfs? Because...

Re: Any firefighter wives/gfs? Because...

• ForeverEverAfter member

  March 2016

  My DH is a pilot-almost as bad lol, as it does include overnights (3 nights per 10 days). I'm on mat leave still, but when I'm working (RN) my shifts start as early as 7am, end as late as 2am-later if I'm forced to do overtime (we take turns). We used a few different sitters for DD1, so she had no consistent schedule-different sleep times everyday. We followed her cues (and encouraged sitters to do the same) and just kept routine consistent (get up, breakfast, play, etc. Supper, bath, book, bed). 
  
  It it worked great for DD1 (now 3yo)-she's so easy to travel with because time zones mean nothing, she eats when hungry and sleeps when tired.

  

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• missliz53 member

  March 2016

  I'm not married to a firefighter but my brother is one and a lot of my friends work in ER medicine. I think you just make up a daily schedule for your LO that is as consistent as possible based on her natural schedule and everybody follows it. Put it on a white board for whoever is caring for lo to follow. 
  
  For us, DD's schedule varies slightly from day to day so DH and I keep a running schedule on a tablet of paper. That way we both know where she is in her day
  
  Here's today's page as an example: 
  
  
  

  image.jpg 1.7M

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• LoveLee2014 member

  March 2016

  My neighbor has a baby and her DH is a firefighter. I feel for you!!! We both stay home with our LO's and try to help each other out. My DH isn't a firefighter but he works 12 hour shifts, on nights this month! I see him about 15 minutes on his work days. He works, sleeps, showers before/after work, cooks his healthy food for work, then it's time for him to run out the door for his shift. When he's on day shift, it's like a vacation for us we get so much together time. It's kind of weird but baby and I kind of switch to his schedule a little. We stay up later and sleep in more when he's on nights. The nice thing is my DH checks on LO after work(5AM) and if LO is moving he feeds LO and changes his diaper. And on DH days off, he cares for LO primarily from 7-3AM so I can rest, clean, relax. It took us MONTHS to get into a groove but it's here finally.
  
  My neighbor and I are ten years age different but doing everything at the same time. It just happen to work out perfect. Idk what I would do if they didn't live there. We give each other support and help all the time! 

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• kbfash member

  March 2016 edited March 2016

  FF wife here, ours is 48 on duty, 96 off. As you know lots of OT and trades so the last 2 weeks have been 72 on 72 off and repeat. It is hard and we are essentially on our own when they are away. We have been struggling to find the balance and time for us. I also really struggle with his attitude sometimes when he gets home like he has earned time off.
  
  I am lucky to work from home, LO goes to a sitter 3 days a week and DH keeps her home when he is off. Super lucky to have a sitter that allows us to switch days weekly. LO is the only one on a pretty good "schedule." When she wakes up her day starts and she is in bed by 9:30 each night. The in between consists of bottle feedings every 3-4 hours and puréed fruit & veg. 2 times a day and 1 big nap and 2-3 small naps. I would be lying if I said the rest of the household is under control (cleaning, laundry) I hired a cleaning lady to come every 60 days just to make our house acceptable! One major thing that has helped me is meal prepping so I am not scrambling around to make dinners every night and taking up offers from my family to help out. My sister watched LO on Sunday for a few hours so I could run my general errands.
  
  My biggest issue is asking for help, I am a bit stubborn and determined to do it all...we know that's a losing battle! I also have a few other friends in similar situations that I lean on for advice or just an ear. Good luck to you, always free to chat if you want to PM me. 
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• kimjoshjake member

  March 2016

  No you're not the only one in that kind of situation. My husband is a tow truck operator, works 12h +++ shift 5 times a week and I'm a flight attendant. I not back to work for an other 5 months but I prefer not thinking about it right now... there's no day care that runs 24h in Canada. And my family is across the country... I prefer not to think about it right now but I know it's coming and I know it's gonna be hard on baby boy and us. 

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• blizmark member

  March 2016

  kbfash said:

  One major thing that has helped me is meal prepping so I am not scrambling around to make dinners every night and taking up offered from my family to help out
  

  This! We do this also, for lunch and for dinners the nights he is at the station. It does help! 
  
  @ForeverEverAfter so it sounds like you are baby led. We do that also, because nothing else would possibly work. That gives me a little bit of hope because I was imagining DD growing up all disordered and crazy because it seems like everything I see says babies MUST have routine. 
  

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• callistosmile member

  March 2016

  My partner works 3 days swing, two days grave. I'm basically on duty 24/7 on his 3rd, 4th, 5th work days and his first "day off" of the week. It sucks. My son changes up his schedule from day to day and we go places that disrupt nap "schedules" all the time. I don't think babies need consistency that much at this point, so much as caregivers who are aware of their cues. 

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• D+R member

  March 2016

  My hubby is police so we are a different schedule then you but always changing and crazy. Honestly I have a great schedule worked out for the baby. She has been sleeping through the night (asleep in crib between 8-8:30 and asleep until between 6-7:00) since she was 5 weeks old. The rest of the day is pretty scheduled as well. While this all sounds great on paper the downfall is that it really all rests in my hands and her teachers at daycare. I love that she is happy and craves her routine and I sleep at night but it's all based in and executed by me. She does not stay home with DH on his days off I just keep her in her normal routine. He helps when he is around but I don't rely on him for it. I know if we changed her routine all the time I wouldn't get sleep and would be a crazed mama. Sooo it's great because she is doing well it just stinks that it's all on me. 

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• ElleKH member

  March 2016

  I'm a firefighter wife-to-be. DH is leaving his desk job this month and begins training at the beginning of next month. It's a pay cut, but one of the main reasons he's doing it is to be able to spend more time at home with his family. He wants the 24-hour position. Here in the Czech Republic, that means one 24-hour shift followed by two days off. He has already been working such long hours at his current job that there are days he doesn't see our son awake, and I'm a SAHM that does 99% of the childcare, so I'm hoping it won't be too dramatic a change for us. That may be wishful thinking, especially after reading what others have had to say. We'll see how it goes.

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• cait040415 member

  March 2016

  We don't have shift work (thank your husbands for their service, police and firefighter wives!!!!) but my DH leaves town pretty regularly for four days a week. It SUUUCKS. Especially because I work full time and do school online. I'm lucky because my parents are here and they help a lot, but we just kind of play it by ear. I think it's hardest on me because LO doesn't know what is going on yeT

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• troopersmom member

  March 2016

  My husband is a state trooper. Every 8 weeks his schedule completely changes (from days to nights and days off change). He gets called out ALL the time for fatalities and wrecks. It's very hard. You can't plan dinner, Christmas, birthdays, or dr appointments. You can't really make appointments for anything else- even a haircut. 
  The only way we make it is with my parents. They live in the same neighborhood, are retired, and help tremendously. It's hard but we love his job- 

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