If you truly want to be helpful, drop off dinner and leave. Don't assume you are spending the entire evening because you went to the trouble of cooking for me. I TOTALLY appreciate it, but it's honestly easier to just cook my own dinner than have to entertain. (Not applicable to close friends and family.)
I don't know if it's really unpopular but- my daughter still exists. When you come to see the new baby please acknowledge my daughter as well. New baby brother won't remember people visiting but big sister remembers people coming and solely focusing on the baby. You can hold a baby and talk to a 5 year old at the same time.
Went grocery shopping baby starts crying and the really nice lady made sure to inform me that she believes my child is crying because he wants his pacifier. Well that's a wonderful ass-umption but I'm sure he just needs to be changed which I can't do in the stroller. THANKS
Went grocery shopping baby starts crying and the really nice lady made sure to inform me that she believes my child is crying because he wants his pacifier. Well that's a wonderful ass-umption but I'm sure he just needs to be changed which I can't do in the stroller. THANKS
That's probably just the beginning of unsolicited stranger advice. My DD was very small/petite for her age (but completely healthy) and I got "advice" all the dang time from people at the store. (Are you breastfeeding? Maybe you need to supplement/eat xyz/switch to formula/etc. Do you take her to the doctor? Etc)
Is this one unpopular? If you're holding my baby, he starts crying, and you can't calm him down, give him back!!! This has happened over and over with all 3 kids, so I'm used to it, but it's like I have to wrestle my kids away from MIL. It's okay if he just needs mom. It's okay if he wants to nurse even if he just nursed an hour ago. It's okay if he just doesn't want you to hold him. It's not okay to think I should just go do something else for a while so you get a turn to hold him...
My brother is getting married tomorrow (JoP) and they're having a very small dinner Saturday. LO will be 1wk old. I said to my mom tonight that I don't want her getting passed around at a restaurant and she said, "well, you kind of have to since it's just close family." No, no I don't.
(side note: I am dreading going. I can't sit without a pillow and I'm not going to drag one to a restaurant, it hurts to get in and out of H's car, LO is still too small/uncoordinated to nurse in public, I have nothing flattering to wear, and I don't want to play pass the baby. Grumble grumble.)
@VitaLuna "oh I'm so sorry! LO has a cough and we're not going to be able to make it". Seriously... You're a week PP- you're totally allowed to turn down whatever event you want to.
You look tired you should Sleep when you can.... I hate that. H went back to work out of state after being home for a bit and now it's just me and all three kiddos. When the baby sleeps I have two older kids to be with and I don't get to nap. When H was home he would watch the older girls and baby and I would nap. Seriously unless you're willing to watch my kids so I can nap then SHUT UP!!!
@vitaluna You so don't have to go to that and if you di, you definitely don't have to let anyone hold your baby. I am going to try to go to my twin nephews' 1st birthday on Saturday and I have told my mom and sister that no one but me and DH will be touching our LO. They have held her before, and they understand that if people see one person doing it they will all want to hold her. Your baby, your rules!
My UO: I can't stand when people tell you "Just let your house go, it doesn't matter. Just focus on taking care of your LO." Ok, for me it does matter. If I have let my house go, then I must be in a majorly depressed state and you should be getting me help. And my top priority is my LO, so are you trying to tell me I'm not doing enough for her?! This came from the in laws, who were well meaning, but showed that they still don't know me!
I am 27, DH is 26. We have been married since September 28, 2013. We had our first child, Zoey, February 7, 2016.
My uo is when people say they want to help but all they want to do is hold the baby. I'm sorry but that's not helpful when I have a 2.5 year old running around, a broken washer, and I'm super tired. DH gets mad because I prefer my mom to come over vs his. But my mom helps clean, cook, laundry, and toddler entertain so I can rest. MIL holds baby.
My uo is when people say they want to help but all they want to do is hold the baby. I'm sorry but that's not helpful when I have a 2.5 year old running around, a broken washer, and I'm super tired. DH gets mad because I prefer my mom to come over vs his. But my mom helps clean, cook, laundry, and toddler entertain so I can rest. MIL holds baby.
Yes to all of these!
I prefer to have my mom come over too because she will put the baby down and clean/ help with other things while I can also get things done. MIL keeps offering to help but once she gets here she sits on the couch and just wants to chat with me.
Every single time my baby cries, I hear "Awww she's hungry." there's so many other reasons baby cry. Ugh
DH says LO is hungry literally every time she cries. I get that she usually is hungry if she's crying, especially if changing her diaper isn't the fix. However, it feels like he's passing her off on me because he can't feed her since I'm EBF. I know that's not actually the case because he keeps telling me he can't wait for her to be 3 weeks old so I can start pumping and he can give her a bottle once a day. I just get frustrated when it seems like his turn to get her during the night then becomes also my turn
Every single time my baby cries, I hear "Awww she's hungry." there's so many other reasons baby cry. Ugh
DH says LO is hungry literally every time she cries. I get that she usually is hungry if she's crying, especially if changing her diaper isn't the fix. However, it feels like he's passing her off on me because he can't feed her since I'm EBF. I know that's not actually the case because he keeps telling me he can't wait for her to be 3 weeks old so I can start pumping and he can give her a bottle once a day. I just get frustrated when it seems like his turn to get her during the night then becomes also my turn
My middle DD will yell out " it's boob time!" whenever LO cries. I feel you and how frustrating it is. Hang in there.
My MIL came over when LO was 2 weeks for five freaking days. Not once did she assist with cooking dinner or even offer to help. She actually asked me to teach her the recipe I was making. I also had to pry him out of her arms. I told DH I knew that would happen and he needed to help me get him back... he didnt and instead said "well she's just not familiar with EBF." Ugh. Once she actually pushed me out of the way when I was going to pick up MY son who was HUNGRY. Oh I almost lost my mind on her.
My DH hasn't figured out any instincts yet. I have to tell him "give him his medicine" "change his diaper" "use a burp cloth" "he can't stay in spit up-ed clothes all day" "HE'S NOT HUNGRY!" I am terrified for the day that I go back to work and DH is home alone with LO. I'm going to come home to an 8 hour old poo and pee rash and DH in his PJs with no food ready.
My (VERY) UO is the people that tell me they don't understand how I have 1. Lost all the weight 2. Get a shower every day 3. Have dinner cooked when DH gets home. I'm sorry?? - none of your business, but 1. I was induced because baby was too little, so all my weight was literally baby and fluid. 2. He's pretty immobile and takes a 15 minute nap after his morning feeding. Ask me again when he's a toddler. 3. I made 30 freezer meals before baby came, defrosting/crockpot are about 10 minutes worth of work.
Re: UO
(side note: I am dreading going. I can't sit without a pillow and I'm not going to drag one to a restaurant, it hurts to get in and out of H's car, LO is still too small/uncoordinated to nurse in public, I have nothing flattering to wear, and I don't want to play pass the baby. Grumble grumble.)
Seriously... You're a week PP- you're totally allowed to turn down whatever event you want to.
My UO: I can't stand when people tell you "Just let your house go, it doesn't matter. Just focus on taking care of your LO." Ok, for me it does matter. If I have let my house go, then I must be in a majorly depressed state and you should be getting me help. And my top priority is my LO, so are you trying to tell me I'm not doing enough for her?! This came from the in laws, who were well meaning, but showed that they still don't know me!
We have been married since September 28, 2013.
We had our first child, Zoey, February 7, 2016.
My uo is when people say they want to help but all they want to do is hold the baby. I'm sorry but that's not helpful when I have a 2.5 year old running around, a broken washer, and I'm super tired. DH gets mad because I prefer my mom to come over vs his. But my mom helps clean, cook, laundry, and toddler entertain so I can rest. MIL holds baby.
My MIL came over when LO was 2 weeks for five freaking days. Not once did she assist with cooking dinner or even offer to help. She actually asked me to teach her the recipe I was making. I also had to pry him out of her arms. I told DH I knew that would happen and he needed to help me get him back... he didnt and instead said "well she's just not familiar with EBF." Ugh. Once she actually pushed me out of the way when I was going to pick up MY son who was HUNGRY. Oh I almost lost my mind on her.
My DH hasn't figured out any instincts yet. I have to tell him "give him his medicine" "change his diaper" "use a burp cloth" "he can't stay in spit up-ed clothes all day" "HE'S NOT HUNGRY!" I am terrified for the day that I go back to work and DH is home alone with LO. I'm going to come home to an 8 hour old poo and pee rash and DH in his PJs with no food ready.
My (VERY) UO is the people that tell me they don't understand how I have 1. Lost all the weight 2. Get a shower every day 3. Have dinner cooked when DH gets home. I'm sorry?? - none of your business, but 1. I was induced because baby was too little, so all my weight was literally baby and fluid. 2. He's pretty immobile and takes a 15 minute nap after his morning feeding. Ask me again when he's a toddler. 3. I made 30 freezer meals before baby came, defrosting/crockpot are about 10 minutes worth of work.