This is a mess (WWYD? )

iceandsnowflakes29 · March 2016

I have a follow up ultrasound on Thursday the 10th to triple confirm that this is a blighted ovum.

It is my wish to miscarry naturally. However, I'm 8 weeks and no sign of that happening any time soon.

My second choice is cytotec which the dr agreed to let me try Thursday if all is still bad (I'm sure it is, I feel it in my heart and gut). My second choice is cytotec because I really want this to go down in the privacy of my own home. If the cytotec fails I was going to cave and get a d&c.

So, here's the problem. If I take cytotec on Friday the 11th that could put me to Sunday - with bleeding and feeling like crap (right?)

If it fails, I'm not sure what the turn around is for d&c scheduling but, my husband leaves for an out of town work thing that is 2 hrs away for 3 days Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. I'm terrified a d&c would land in the middle of that 3 day window.

My mom has agreed to help me but, she keeps down- playing the procedure and thinks I will be up at at 'em the next day.

So my questions are: what is d&c recovery like? *ETA* also what was your pain level like? Did you have any restrictions?

Should I not take cytotec and continue to wait it out for a natural miscarriage? (Again, running the risk of my husband being out of town but, the up-side is I don't feel like I'm progressing in that department). How long can you safely wait to miscarry? Are there risks to waiting it out as long as possible?

This is a royal mess and I'm freaking out.

I thought about trying to get my ultrasound bumped up and therefore, bumping up the entire time line of this whole thing and hoping all will be normal by Tuesday March 15th. However, my doctor's office is crap and I'm not sure they will agree to bump up the u/s.

Eta (again) everyone keeps telling me not to worry and to see how it plays out but I'm seriously freaking out. I'm such a planner by nature, and I don't want to go through this alone. However, despite my mother's good intentions she's starting to piss me off because I keep getting the impression that no matter what happens (d&c, cytotec, natural ) it won't be that bad physically and from everything I've read here that is not the case.

SnobunnieMel · March 2016

I am so sorry that this continues to drag out for you and making making these choices is even necessary. I can't comment on cytotec since I only went the route of d&c, but I can give comments on my recovery from that. Mine was done Wednesday morning, I got general anesthesia so I didn't feel a thing during. It took about 20 minutes and I was about to wake up in recovery and be out the door very quickly. Less than 30 minutes. I had mild cramping and minimal spotting that day but was very groggy so I slept most of the day. Yesterday I had some bad cramps but they were extremely infrequent and no bleeding at all. Today has just been minimal spotting.

I was able to be out yesterday and run errands. Physically I was perfectly capable of being up and going. Emotionally it was too soon. Which I learned the hard way when I started crying every time I stopped at a red light and had a breakdown when I finally made it home.

I was given the restriction no lifting over 10 pounds for a week but I am allowed to return to light exercise as soon as I feel able. I wasn't sent home with any pain meds and I have only needed ibuprofen twice. Everyone is different but pain wise I think this was the best option for me. Emotionally it helped to not keep dragging things on as well.

Hopefully you get some answers and progress soon. Sorry this was such a long response

MooFish2364 · March 2016

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I had a blighted ovum at 7.5 weeks with follow up u/s until I had my d&c at 10 weeks. My Hcg was till rising and my body never figured it out. My doctor recommended that I have a d&c because my betas were so high and also because I was already 10 weeks. She was worried that I was at risk for more severe blood loss and I was ready to get it over with and move on. I haven't had a natural miscarriage but it's my understanding that taking the cytotec can cause severe cramping - possibly worse than a d&c...however I do not have any personal experience on this.

Miss far as turn around time for the procedure itself...that really depends on your doctor and hospital. I was able to get in within the week.

I think everyone has a different d&c experience but I will tell you mine. My procedure only took about 15 mins and it was over. I woke up with very very light cramps and didn't even take a pain killer. I had slight bleeding for a day or so and then another bought if bleeding with small float almost 2 weeks after. I was up and around that next day and would have felt OK to be up and around the day of my procedure if not for the anesthesia. I do know that some women have a much harder time of it and I'm sure they will comment here with their thoughts.

I wish you the best of luck no matter what you decide.

iceandsnowflakes29 · March 2016

@MooFish2364 I also have a feeling my hcg levels are still on the rise

my weeks estimator still says 3+. Does the sac continue to grow? (My pants are getting tighter like a normal pregnancy almost) at first I thought it was in my head but, I'm wondering if things are still...progressing... is that nuts? How were you feeling by 10 weeks? My morning sickness and sore breasts vanished 2 weeks ago but now I feel tired.

I'm starting to get the impression I cannot miscarry naturally (which truly was my wish. I felt like if I could do that then at least my body still could do something right ). I realize that probably sounds stupid

Eta I'm not anti- d&c. It's just my last resort. I wanted to avoid a public breakdown at a hospital, I just wanted to be at home... I don't know if that makes sense? I also feel like when it physically happens the mental is going to kick into high gear. I've been really calm about it so far.

iceandsnowflakes29 · March 2016

@SnobunnieMel I'm still very sorry for your loss ((hugs)) thank you for sharing with me. You've been in my thoughts. I'm glad you're recovering well physically.

SnobunnieMel · March 2016

@iceandsnowflakes29 thank you. If it helps, I had mine done at an outpatient surgery center. I was a complete wreck and could not stop crying. The entire staff was so nuturing to me and considerate. My nurse was fantastic without pressuring me and asking questions. The anesthesiologist gave me some anxiety medication before hand and it helped me through the entire day. I felt mentally numb almost all day but I needed that to help me through the day.

yolandamunoz · March 2016

I am so sorry for your loss and all you have to go through.

i also had a blighted ovum that stopped developing at 5w and had a D&C at 9w.
my doctor recommended the procedure since we waited some weeks to MC naturally and nothing happened.

i didn't want this to happen naturally because I was very scared of all the pain and blood involved. I also didn't want this to happen at work as nobody knew I was pregnant.

My D&C was on a Thursday afternoon. I was admitted at the hospital at noon and took a vaginal pill to help my uterus move. This gave me some bad cramps, like a really bad menstrual period with heavy bleeding. The procedure was fast, like 20 mins. And then recovery room for an hour. After this I was sent to my room to rest and get my vitals checked (and eat something ). I went home that night.

i had some painkillers everyday for 3 days, mild cramps and heavy bleeding for 5 days, then Bleeding decreased. I took leave from work as I was not able to talk to people (emotionally).

i am happy with the way things worked for me because it allowed me to have privacy from work and manage to rest appropriately.

best of luck
-Y

MooFish2364 · March 2016

@iceandsnowflakes29 my gestational sac did continue to grow and I still had pregnancy symptoms (sore breasts, morning sickness, etc) until the day of my d&c. Even though it grew it was behind. When I had my last u/s at 9.5 weeks it was measuring at 6.5 weeks.

The d&c wasn't really too emotional for me. At least not when I was in the hospital. I had 3 weeks to mentally prepare for what was about to happen. I still totally have my days where I am really sad about it all and it was sad to see my pregnancy symptoms go away. But the procedure wasn't traumatic for me at all.

I know that everyone is different and has different experiences. I would have loved to have a natural mc but it just didn't look like that was going to happen. I work far from home and I didn't like the idea that I could start to misscarry in the middle of a meeting or something. Plus I was already 10 weeks. I couldn't stand the thought of waiting 2-3 more to see if my body would start the process on its own.

m6agua · March 2016

I'm sorry things are dragging out for you. Like I have said before I didn't naturally mc my blighted ovum (6+2) until 11 weeks. However mine was missed so thats a different situation.

If I were you I would wait to take the cytotec until after your husband is home from his work trip. From what I understand a natural mc with the drugs is more painful from a plain natural mc. I have no experience to back that up.

I think I heard the one worry about waiting too long to mc naturally is infection. However I think that doesn't come into play for quite a while. Like I said I was walking around for probably 4 weeks not knowing my pregnancy had stopped. It seemed like my doc was going to let me go 2-4 more weeks waiting if I needed/wanted to and was not worried about infection at that point.

Has your doc been monitoring your HCG to see if it is dropping yet? Maybe ask if they can and that might help inform your decision. The decision is ultimately yours. I hope everyones advice and experience helps you make the decision you are most comfortable with.

ThePax89 · March 2016

I felt amazing after my d&c. I think they gave me something. By that evening the pain kicked in. The pain wasn't awful. I had complications which are not common making it worse.

Emotionally, it was my husband I needed waiting in the pre-surgery area with me. And it was him who I needed to kiss me as I was crying while they wheeled me off. You need your husband.

Tennis11785 · March 2016

For my d&c, I was discharged about 2 hours after my surgery started. I was able to stop and vote on the way home. Took about a 3 hour nap, before being up for the next couple of hours before a standard bedtime. The next day I had very very mild cramping. Thursdays was a bit worse. Today a bit worse. But the cramping never lasted more than a couple of minutes. The Dr gave me a prescription for Tylenol 3, but I haven't needed any painkillers (and I don't have a high pain tolerance). All in all, it hasn't been terrible from a recovery pov.

iceandsnowflakes29 · March 2016

Thank you everyone for your replies. I really appreciate it. I feel better about a d&c if I have to go that route.

I've had one before but, it was in conjunction with the surgery to remove my tube/ectopic so, I was already in pain from my incision and it was hard to distinguish from the d&c vs pain from the surgery. And maybe that is why I feared / thought it would be worse physically in my mind.

I feel less worried now

thank you.

ThePax89 · March 2016

@iceandsnowflakes29

goodness you've been through a lot. My friend had an ectopic, and we exchanged experienced. From what I understand, the surgery to remove a tube is much much more painful.

AL_TwinCities · March 2016

I'm so sorry this is dragging on! My doctor asked me to check in after 2 weeks if I hadn't miscarried naturally, but ultimately they said they weren't too concerned about waiting longer to miscarry naturally unless I was showing signs of infection. But with your DH going out of town I can see how it might be nice to just schedule the procedure now. Whatever you decide will be the right decision for you!

MaybeBabyMama · March 2016

I echo the sentiments of others I. That I'm so sorry for your loss and that you are going through this!

In a prior MMC I was prescribed oral mitoprostol (cytotec) but the mess were unsuccessful and I did end up needing a D&C. I did find the recovery to be rather easy post-surgery. I bled for several days but was grateful not to pass the baby at home. And emotionally, I felt a huge sense of relief after the procedure.

This is time I am trying the oral medication again. My husband leaves for business this week also so I am very hopeful things move along and might be resolved over the weekend. if not, I will postpone the D&C for when he returns.

Whatever decision you make, it will be the right one. Try not to stress about the how and why of it all. I hope that the process is as comfortable as it can be.

So so sorry again

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