December 2015 Moms

OH MY I almost slapped her.

I need to vent. I'm in Mexico and tonight I went to a restaurant with my 2 month old sleeping in his car seat. A lady actually came up to my husband and told us that we shouldn't be keeping our baby in a car seat and that she was going to find something to show us why. Then she has the nerve to tell me that I "better not be drinking." I was already not feeling well and was planning on drinking only water anyways, but where on earth does she get off telling me that? I am formula feeding. So yes, I can drink alcohol. Her excuse for telling me this, "you're so young!" What??? I am 24 and my husband is 26. And I'm pretty sure a 16 year old knows not to drink while breastfeeding (unless pumping etc.) I was so angry and so turned off from eating my food that I just wanted to leave. This lady actually came back and started showing my husband a video of this baby who died because of a car seat. I just walked away. My DH stayed for a bit but ended up telling her that she overstepped her boundaries and what she has been saying to us has been very rude. Good for him. She kept saying "I just want to inform you because you are so young!" UGH. 

Anyways, any extremely annoying people in your lives trying to parent your child??

Re: OH MY I almost slapped her.

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  • I was at the liquor store w/ my baby -awake - in her car seat w/ her head turned. The cashier - a young man- told me to "fix her head" - I told him - she can turn her head if she wants- he's like (obvs English wasn't his first language) "no no- you fix (guesturing) like dis (puts his head straight)" no really she's fine.
    people!! Ugh
  • Sorry but when your child sleeps in the car seat baby should be supervised 100% of the time due to breathing issues that have caused many babies to die. I am from Mexico and people there do not mean it in a bad way. What to you seems rude, to us it is culturally acceptable and it is actually seen as an act of kindness that they care. You WILL 100% disagree with me and that's ok. I would have thanked her for her concerned and simply explain that I am supervising the baby at all times and kept eating my food. If I were to stop eating every time someone tells me something that I don't like, I would have disappeared by now lol.
  • gissehlt said:
    Sorry but when your child sleeps in the car seat baby should be supervised 100% of the time due to breathing issues that have caused many babies to die. I am from Mexico and people there do not mean it in a bad way. What to you seems rude, to us it is culturally acceptable and it is actually seen as an act of kindness that they care. You WILL 100% disagree with me and that's ok. I would have thanked her for her concerned and simply explain that I am supervising the baby at all times and kept eating my food. If I were to stop eating every time someone tells me something that I don't like, I would have disappeared by now lol.
    I'm sure OP was supervising baby since she was at a restaurant eating. People actually do it all the time. As long as they are watching baby things should be ok. I just believe that OP and her DH were out eating at a restaurant and that lady just went into their personal space a bit too much. She shouldn't use any scare tactics such as showing a video to her and her husband about a baby dying in a car seat. A simple warning like... "keep an eye on baby while she sleeps in the car seat" would of been sufficient. At the same time, if that was me... I am trying to have some quality time with my DH... I don't need a lady up my butt the whole dinner when I'm trying to enjoy myself.
    Ha! Exactly this. 
    First, the lady telling me this was NOT from Mexico. She was a tourist from US or Canada. So although it may be your culture, I doubt it was hers.

    Second, I was supervising my baby. I was eating with my baby facing me in the car seat. Do you not let your baby in a stroller? It would be the same thing. I just wants to be able to eat my supper without holding him. I picked him up after I was finished my meal.

    Third, I definitely know what's best for my baby. I do not need people to tell me how to take care of him, so I would never thank them. And It was a bit hard to continue eating my meal when this lady was literally standing beside us attempting to show us this video. 
    Thanks for your reply, but you are completely wrong on this one. 
  • And to add to your car seat story (I'm not sure how yours is) but mine lays back to where she's less likely to get in that position, not saying it isn't possible or justifying that it's OKAY to leave baby unsupervised in car seat. But they're trying to make car seats safer everyday, I'm sure back during the time that lady had children things were way different.
  • gissehlt said:
    Sorry but when your child sleeps in the car seat baby should be supervised 100% of the time due to breathing issues that have caused many babies to die. I am from Mexico and people there do not mean it in a bad way. What to you seems rude, to us it is culturally acceptable and it is actually seen as an act of kindness that they care. You WILL 100% disagree with me and that's ok. I would have thanked her for her concerned and simply explain that I am supervising the baby at all times and kept eating my food. If I were to stop eating every time someone tells me something that I don't like, I would have disappeared by now lol.
    I'm sure OP was supervising baby since she was at a restaurant eating. People actually do it all the time. As long as they are watching baby things should be ok. I just believe that OP and her DH were out eating at a restaurant and that lady just went into their personal space a bit too much. She shouldn't use any scare tactics such as showing a video to her and her husband about a baby dying in a car seat. A simple warning like... "keep an eye on baby while she sleeps in the car seat" would of been sufficient. At the same time, if that was me... I am trying to have some quality time with my DH... I don't need a lady up my butt the whole dinner when I'm trying to enjoy myself.
    Ha! Exactly this. 
    First, the lady telling me this was NOT from Mexico. She was a tourist from US or Canada. So although it may be your culture, I doubt it was hers.

    Second, I was supervising my baby. I was eating with my baby facing me in the car seat. Do you not let your baby in a stroller? It would be the same thing. I just wants to be able to eat my supper without holding him. I picked him up after I was finished my meal.

    Third, I definitely know what's best for my baby. I do not need people to tell me how to take care of him, so I would never thank them. And It was a bit hard to continue eating my meal when this lady was literally standing beside us attempting to show us this video. 
    Thanks for your reply, but you are completely wrong on this one. 
    Like I predicted. You disagreed with me and like I said before it's ok. I guess I am not the type if mom that gets offended when someone tells me what to do or how to do it better (in their opinions). I just nod and ignore.
    To me, my daughter's opinion is what matters most and me not blowing up in front of people will teach her to remain calm because it's not worth fighting or even giving of my time to some woman who is clearly oblivious and probably enjoying a nice meal right now. That's all.
    Good luck!
  • I walked my baby to the doctors office yesterday. It's about a 10 min walk and I had him in long sleeve layers, two pairs of pants, booties over socks and a hat in a thick Mei Tai carrier with a blanket over him. My coat was open and we were sharing body heat. He seemed perfectly content in the 47 degree weather. A woman coming out of the store just kind of yelled "it's so cold?!?" at me. I said it wasn't that bad and she just looked at me like I was insane while LO smiled and looked around. 

    Also, on the car seat issue, anyone else get kind of stressed and confused about the guidelines for that. You aren't supposed to leave your baby "unsupervised or sleeping" in one buy obviously unless you have someone to ride in the back every time you commute they're potentially unsupervised for hours a week if you commute with them. Plus you aren't supposed to use the mirrors to be able to check on them because of driver distraction/potential for further injury if there is a crash.  So now when I drive I get freaked out about him breathing. It's a wonder that more people don't develop anxiety issues when they become parents with these kind of recommendations. 
  • Just adding that regardless of culture, I would be extremely offended if a random stranger was that rude and inappropriate. And I will always stand up for myself and I hope to goodness my daughter witnesses me being strong and confident and she doesn't learn to quietly sit in the shadows. I want her to have a voice and stand up for herself. I will not let a perfect stranger question me as a mother and then go on with her day as though what she did was appropriate or acceptable. That woman's assumption that you were "young and stupid" was obnoxious and she needed to be put in her place. 

  • Also, on the car seat issue, anyone else get kind of stressed and confused about the guidelines for that. You aren't supposed to leave your baby "unsupervised or sleeping" in one buy obviously unless you have someone to ride in the back every time you commute they're potentially unsupervised for hours a week if you commute with them. Plus you aren't supposed to use the mirrors to be able to check on them because of driver distraction/potential for further injury if there is a crash.  So now when I drive I get freaked out about him breathing. It's a wonder that more people don't develop anxiety issues when they become parents with these kind of recommendations. 
    Oh my gosh I know. I finally had to stop spending so much time on Pinterest and parenting articles because I was going to give myself a panic attack. just when you think you're doing it right, someone publishes new research that proves your baby will DIE if you keep doing it that way. I just keep telling myself that our moms did it completely different and we made it out alive somehow. 
  • I once had a lady in the grocery store pick up my sons pacifier and put it in his mouth for him... Like... Nooooo. What runs through peoples heads! Like really...
  • I'm pretty certain @gissehlt was commenting to @blended10 when they shared their liquor store story and the "Mexican" giving her advice about turning her child's head in the car seat in broken English. 

    Luckily my husband and I are intimidating so no one ever says anything to us when we are in public. Good luck ladies. 
  • I'm pretty certain @gissehlt was commenting to @blended10 when they shared their liquor store story and the "Mexican" giving her advice about turning her child's head in the car seat in broken English. 

    Luckily my husband and I are intimidating so no one ever says anything to us when we are in public. Good luck ladies. 
    She said "kept eating my food." So I'm pretty sure her comment was directed toward me.
  • I'm pretty certain @gissehlt was commenting to @blended10 when they shared their liquor store story and the "Mexican" giving her advice about turning her child's head in the car seat in broken English. 

    Luckily my husband and I are intimidating so no one ever says anything to us when we are in public. Good luck ladies. 
    She said "kept eating my food." So I'm pretty sure her comment was directed toward me.
    Also that she said she would have thanked "her". The cashier in the liquor store story was male.
  • For the record the cashier was Indian - not Mexican. It was more funny to me bc he was so young & male & I totally didn't expect it. Probably unnecessary for me to add the accent in my story. Apologies if I offended anyone. 
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