June 2016 Moms

NBR: vent about work

so today i found out that i am not getting the promotion that has essentially been promised and dangled in front of my face for the last 2 years. Despite doing the work of the level above and busting my ass these past few years, giving up time with my daughter and family, they now feel im just not ready. However a mere 6 weeks ago i was the golden child being recognized for all the overtime (which i am not paid for) and great work i had been doing, then i announced my pregnancy and everything changed and suddenly i wasnt so great and i was being excluded from mtgs on projects i had been a key person on. I am beyond frustrated and upset and emotional. I just feel so taken advantage of and now feel that i am being dismissed because i am pregnant and not only pregnant but expecting twins. I think they assume i wont be back, but i will! I worked really hard for this promotion and another year has passed and i definitely wont get it next year since i will have been out on maternity leave for 4 months (thats my states protected leave for twins). I truly feel like i have been discriminated against but i have nothing in writing about the promised promotion so i really cant do anything about it except start looking for another job. I am just really sad about the way this turned out. I invested so much of myself and my time in this company over the last 8 years. Sorry to write such a pity party post. I totally understand that there are MUCH worse things than being passed over for a promotion. I just feel that i have been wronged and it doesnt help that i am so totally hormonal and tired. Wah wah. Pity party ends now. :) 

Re: NBR: vent about work

  • Can you speak with your supervisor and bring up your concerns? I don't think you should just let this go if you've worked that hard for that long. I would maybe start off by asking if you have been making mistakes you are unaware of because recently you've felt on the outs. Just a thought! I wouldn't take this lying down that's for sure 
    Mrs. H
    Crohn's Dx: August 2008
    Endometriosis Dx: May 2010
    Married: 05/19/2012
    TTC #1: June 2013
    BFP: December 2013
    DS: Born 08/29/2014
    TTC #2: July 2015

    BFP #2: September 25, 2015

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  • @NLewis1
    unfortunately my supervisor is part of the problem. the next step would be going to HR and filing a complaint so that they can investigate further. Being that i work in a small dept, it would be quite uncomfortable because they would know it was me. The feminist in me wants to do something but the realist in me knows that i dont have enough documentation to win a case. I am going to start documenting everything better going forward in hopes that maybe i can contact hr later. It may be too late for me but maybe if i raise it up to hr, they can address it and prevent it from happening to someone else. 
  • Even though your supervisor is part of the problem, I would still request a meeting and talk to them. They need to know this isn't going unnoticed 
    Mrs. H
    Crohn's Dx: August 2008
    Endometriosis Dx: May 2010
    Married: 05/19/2012
    TTC #1: June 2013
    BFP: December 2013
    DS: Born 08/29/2014
    TTC #2: July 2015

    BFP #2: September 25, 2015

  • I'm so sorry you had to experience this! What a sucky way to be treated.  :-(
  • I agree with PP, I would absolutely confront your supervisor before trying to go to HR. They may not realize they're doing it. Or there may be a legitimate reason that you're not aware of. I have a similar situation. Confronting my boss made it clear that nothing was going to change so I started looking for another job. As soon as I get another job, I'll turn over all my documentation regarding the sexist comments and unfair treatment. To me, formally reporting to HR while I still work under the person who has been treating me badly is a nightmare scenario. I hope your situation turns out better than mine! But you'll never know if you don't speak up and see if anything will change.
  • I think you definitely need to talk to someone about it. Even though you don't have documentation, whoever has been having the promotion conversations with you can't ignore the fact that those conversations happened. If you truly believe you are being discriminated against because of the pregnancy then I don't think it can just be ignored. Can you talk to HR to get some advice, without actually filing a complaint at this point? Or don't you have a union rep you could discuss this with?
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