OT: any military reservists or reservist wives?

AmberLiz99 · February 2016

I'm curious if anyone either belongs to or is married to someone in the US military reserve. I know it's a long shot, but dh has decided he wants to join the Natuonal Army Guard, and I'm kind of freaking out about it. He meets with someone on Sunday, and I am not feeling good about it. I would love to hear any experiences, good or bad, that anyone has had!

Sydvicious08 · February 2016

My dad was in the guard 25 years...good luck getting benefits if he plans to retire from it. The VA here is a joke. He was the first wave in Iraq, was gone 18 months. It was his only deployment his entire career. He was injured and has been trying to get benefits since 2006. I have alot of friends in the guard who love it, though. Also, each state VA is different so you might not have issues later down the road. BCT is different for each specialty (career path) and they can only let a certain percentage of recruits through to graduation. If he has ANY prior unjuries, he probably won't make it through basic, unless he has a doc waver. Recruiters have to meet a quota each month, btw. I hope he keeps that in mind as well

meggyme · February 2016

While not a reservist, my H is Active Duty Navy. Were there specific questions you had? Would he be enlisted or commissioned?

AmberLiz99 · February 2016

He'd be an officer. I guess I'm wondering how much time it takes up, and how much it changes home life. I know it will impoact us, but I'm wondering how. Does you husband like it? What are the best and worst about it?

alysemci · February 2016

My husband was A/D and in the Marine Corps for 8 years, but my cousins husband just enlisted in the national guard. It's usually pretty close to where you live (for him it's the next town over) and he's gone 2 days a month and 2 weeks a year. He's been in over a year, no deployments. The only thing that would effect home life is when he first enlists and has to go to basic and school. After that it won't really effect home life much unless he deploys. What MOS is he looking into?

meggyme · February 2016

My experience as a Navy wife is that it is all in what you make of it. You could be sad and resentful that he's not around when he's on duty, or you could enjoy the time alone without having to consider him in your plans, doing things he wouldn't enjoy. Sometimes it's hard, but I doubt he's taking it (or the impact it will have on your family) lightly. The biggest lifestyle change is the flexibility you will have to build into your life. Things in the military change a lot, and often at the last minute, but if you can roll with the punches you'll be able to enjoy it a lot more. If you're in a military town, see if you can track down any other reservist spouses and see what their experience has been.

It may be different for you, but the military wives I've grown closer to while my husband is deployed are some of the best friends I've made in a long time.

AmberLiz99 · February 2016

Thanks ladies! I'm not sure yet what his MOS would be, he has to schedule the test, etc. his first meeting is today, so maybe some questions will be answered by that.

The entire military culture is outside my comfort zone, and I'm just having a hard time coming to terms with it. I know it's something he has wanted to do. Hopefully today will answer some questions

alysemci · February 2016

AmberLiz99 said:

Thanks ladies! I'm not sure yet what his MOS would be, he has to schedule the test, etc. his first meeting is today, so maybe some questions will be answered by that.

The entire military culture is outside my comfort zone, and I'm just having a hard time coming to terms with it. I know it's something he has wanted to do. Hopefully today will answer some questions

Ya definitely let us know! I know for A/D MOS can make a difference in training/time away/likelihood of deployment so I'm assuming it has the same effect on reserves. My husband was a 50 cal gunner in a turret and a firefighter so if he does anything on air wing or security unit I can help

AmadorRose · February 2016

*Lurking* I'm AD army and my husband recently joined the guard after ten years AD. FWIW, a few points:
If YH plans to be an officer (I'm assuming he has a bachelor's degree), he would not have an MOS. He would go to basic training, then BOLC (I believe), and upon completion of BOLC would be assigned a branch (infantry, intelligence, medical, etc) and go on to receive additional training for that branch. BOLC is very difficult both physically and mentally, but BCT is nothing. My husband got through the last few weeks with a fractured pelvis and I also went with a guy who fractured his pelvis a week before we went on our last field problem. It is important that he is in shape before he goes, but there will be people who arrive unable to run a mile who will still graduate. BCT is about mental toughness; the physical fitness takes more time. If he goes in enlisted, training time is the same by MOS for AD as it is for guard/reserves. I'm a medic and attended alongside AD, guard, and reserve.
Joining for the benefits is not worth it if he isn't going active duty. I would not ever waste my money on tricare. Since mine is free, I have few complaints, but if I paid...tricare would be receiving a lot of complaints. They require referrals for any type of care beyond your primary and it takes forever. Also, the VA sucks pretty much everywhere. My husband has been waiting for 10 months to have his initial appointment with the VA; all they've done is ask him about his TBIs, none of his other injuries.
As far as culture...we are learning that the guard doesn't have the "military culture" that active duty has. It can be both a benefit and a drawback. For my husband, it's a drawback because he became to the organization and method of AD; for others it works because, unless you're deployed, it's a regular job that happens to fall one weekend each month. It's much, much more lax than AD, which can make unit cohesion easier but also effects the level of discipline in the soldiers.
If it's something that he's always wanted to do and his desire stems from wanting to serve, it would be worth it. BCT is only ten weeks, during which he will be able to write and receive letters and will experience things he would never be able to otherwise. If he's joining for benefits, it's not really worth it when you consider the chances of deployment, the price of tricare versus the service you get, and time he'd have to spend away from you and LO.

Knottie44691675 · February 2016

My husband is AD Airforce so a little different but I wanted to chime in anyway. I want to just get the negative part out of the way. For me, even though it's an honor serving our country, my husband enlisted mainly for the experience, schooling and benefits. He's in a rigorous 2 year tech school to become a Linguist so that affects home life for us since he is stressed and busy a lot. I will say though, he will leave with an associates degree in Linguistics and plans on pursuing a bachelors degree in engineering during the next 4 years of his contract. We are hoping to not have to resign as long as he finishes schooling. Having him gone for 2 months at BMT and then another month before I could move to our current base was extremely hard for me to handle because of how close I am with my husband. I've talked to other wives that said the time flew by and they were fine with it so it definitely depends on your situation. I personally hate being away from my husband for more than a day so military life can be a challenge. We haven't had to deal with deployments or TDY's yet so I don't have any experience there. I will say though, we're young and the benefits have been very worth it. To have a three bedroom home, a safe running car, health care and a steady income where we can have a baby and start our family is a blessing we definitely wouldn't have if he had chosen not to join. This is just my experience and if you have any questions I would be happy to answer them, my husband also knows people in guard and looked into guard originally so I know he has some knowledge on the matter.

Knottie1447115665 · February 2016

My husband has been in for about 17 years, had 1 deployment about 5 years ago. He's gone monthly for drill, for weeks at a time for annual training and various trainings. This is a decision that you both need to make together, because it absolutely effects your home life. My husband was gone for a year and I had 2 kids, he was away for AT when I went into labor with our 3rd, he made it to the hospital in time, but there was a chance he could have missed it. Military life is not for everyone, but to those that truly feel called to serve and their families it is intensely rewarding and something to be proud of. I am incredibly proud of my husband. If you're lucky you'll get a good unit with a strong support group and flock of wives. I urge you to set up a meeting with your husband AND the recruiter to discuss his enlistment and what will be involved.

AmberLiz99 · February 2016

Thank you all so much! It's helping to hear real life stories.

Dh met with him the first time yesterday. He has his MBA, so he would have to get a certain score on the test, pass the phiysical part, get through basic, and do officer training after.

It's a 6/2 agreement, so I guess he could be deployed the last two years, but not the the first 6? (I'm still learning about it). I'm ok with the weekend and weeks away, I struggle with the idea of possible deployment, and I HATE the amount of time he has to do for training after basic. He would either have to do 18 months of every weekend, or 6 months out of state (the kids and I couldn't go because da will be in school). He wants to do the 6 months, but that means he would have to do basic by October, which means he would likely miss the birth of this baby and the first couple months of her life (our 3rd).

He works for the federal government so his job has to approve whatever he might am choose, but I worry about income when he is at basic training or if he did the 6 months. We need to figure out if pay differential would make up the difference, because he makes a lot more than what the monthly pay would be on active .

im just boggled by this. I cannot comprehend his need to do this now at almost 34, I'm trying to be understanding as we find out more, and not just scream "no way" which is my gut reaction, haha.

Diesel615 · February 2016

My H did Active Duty for 10 years, and is now a reservist for the past 5 years. (All together 15 years in) I miss being an active duty wife...but I don't like the unknowing all the time about where we're going to live and such. Now that's he's in the Reserves, it's not really a big deal. It's just a little inconvenient the weekends he's gone (especially since he drills the first weekend and my birthday is at the beginning of March he hasn't been around for a birthday in 5 years

) and I really miss him the 2 weeks he does AT....and this year it's around my due date so I'm a bit nervous about that since he drills an hour from home. Depending on MOS...they either deploy a lot or not really at all. While your husband is at basic his job should make up the difference in pay...my husband's job does when he does his 2 week AT. Especially since you said he works for the Federal Govt.

ufsandra85 · March 2016

I'm a reservist officer. I just came off active duty. I personally don't really like it ava it takes a lot more time than one weekend a month 2 weeks a year. An extra 12k a year is nice though. If they change the gi bill benefits I'm not sure I'll stay in. Everyone says to give it a year. ... i really miss active duty

ufsandra85 · March 2016

What rank will he be going in as? Is he working with an officer recruiter? For what i do, if i went in as a reservist is only 2 week training. Also it is usually a 6 year commitment, 2 year deployment deferment

RMLandy · March 2016

I've always thought my husband might eventually decide to do this. It's always been in the back of his mind, but he's never pulled the trigger. I think you're handling it great and seem to be very supportive! Prayers for your family during a tough decision time!

AmberLiz99 · March 2016

The rank depends on how he scores on the test (has to take t this weekend I think.) I think the officer school is longer because he's never been active duty or anything before. I'm not sure on that. I'm compiling a list of all my questions to ask.

i appreciate all of the supportive conments

ufsandra85 · March 2016

AmberLiz99 said:

The rank depends on how he scores on the test (has to take t this weekend I think.) I think the officer school is longer because he's never been active duty or anything before. I'm not sure on that. I'm compiling a list of all my questions to ask.

i appreciate all of the supportive conments

My husband and i (he just retired after 20 years) think that sounds odd. Most officers don't have to take a test (are you talking about asvab) and rank is usually o1 unless they are in a special program like i came in as an o2, doctors come in as o3. Are you sure he is talking to an officer recruiter? Enlisted can have differentranks based on tests

ufsandra85 · March 2016

The officer school i was talking about was only for reservists. Active duty school is either 5 weeks for ods or 12 weeks for ocs

ufsandra85 · March 2016

Just be careful. My friend from grad school just joined and was lied to and is coming in as an e3, with 2 master degrees. He should be an officer and thought he was doing that and everything got messed up. Recruiters are really sneaky

AmberLiz99 · March 2016

ufsandra85 said:

Just be careful. My friend from grad school just joined and was lied to and is coming in as an e3, with 2 master degrees. He should be an officer and thought he was doing that and everything got messed up. Recruiters are really sneaky

Thanks. It's good to know what to look out for. I'll talk to my husband about it so that next time we talk to the recruiter (this weekend) we can get some clear answers

Sydvicious08 · March 2016

Is he doing reserves or guard? They aren't the same thing

alysemci · March 2016

ufsandra85 said:

AmberLiz99 said:

The rank depends on how he scores on the test (has to take t this weekend I think.) I think the officer school is longer because he's never been active duty or anything before. I'm not sure on that. I'm compiling a list of all my questions to ask.

i appreciate all of the supportive conments

My husband and i (he just retired after 20 years) think that sounds odd. Most officers don't have to take a test (are you talking about asvab) and rank is usually o1 unless they are in a special program like i came in as an o2, doctors come in as o3. Are you sure he is talking to an officer recruiter? Enlisted can have differentranks based on tests

Weird, I know nothing about officer but for us (in the Marine Corps) asvab doesn't effect rank, only what MOS you qualify for but all enlisteds go in as an E1

alysemci · March 2016

sdnybrk said:

Is he doing reserves or guard? They aren't the same thing

True. They are completely different. My take was he's going in national guard. The guard is dually controlled by each individual state along with the government while Army, Navy, Marine Corps and Air Force are controlled solely by the federal government. This causes a mix up in how things are done

AmberLiz99 · March 2016

Yes, he's looking into doing National Guard. Everyone keeps calling it national guard reserves, so maybe that's why I confused some. Sorry!

ufsandra85 · March 2016

Disregard everything i said then. Itonly applies to the reserves

armjjz · March 2016

My husband and I were both navy reserves.
We went to Afghanistan in 2014, now he is out and I am still in. Everyone has different experiences. Now that we are having a baby I truly believe that only one of us in the reserves will be best for our family. I know at times when I have training I will be away from my family, I also have a my husband and his family's support and help for our child. My advice is try to be supportive and flexible. In the long run he is doing that for not only him but his family.

AmberLiz99 · March 2016

Good advice.

He he met with the recruiter today to finalize the aoplication. Monday he has to do the physical stuff and if he passes has to commit right there. So we have a lot of talking to do tonight. He wants this so badly, I feel bad that I'm not excited for him. Lots to figure out

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