No idea what to do...:(

dzastapasta · September 2015

let me start with the fact that both me and my husband are young, I'm 24 and he is 22. We met last October and instantly fell in love however since I'm international student I knew I will eventually have to leave indiana and move to New York to work on my masters degree. So we were actually back and forth with the whole relationship. Before I went to New York I stayed with him for two weeks and that's when I got pregnant. I actually found out while already in New York but we decided that the best thing for us and the baby is going to be me moving back to indiana and getting married, so I can stay here and be covered by his medical insurance since I only have travel insurance here in is and it doesn't cover pregnancy expenses.
We got married in May and first few months were great but around 3 weeks ago he became really cold and kinda mean( he was usually very affectionate happy guy). We actually talked about it and he said he doesn't know what the reason is, he's scared and now it's not only about the two of us. He says that he loves me to death but he doesn't know how to deal with all this since he wasn't planning on having a baby this young.
Our situation is so much different than usually cause my whole family is back in Poland so if we break up I will move back there. I love him and his family here, and we just bought a house together but I won't live with the person that acts like I don't exist, I can't do it even for the baby. It's been going on for 3 weeks now I don't know what to do.

michaela542 · September 2015

Your hormones change his hormones. A lot of mommys have this issue. Continue to talk to him and do things togeather to connect with the baby. Once the baby comes he'll fall inlove with him or her and everything will fall into place. Just be patient with eachother.

dzastapasta · September 2015

Thanks for the advice! I really love him and really want this to work out, this situation when I'm unsure about his feelings was the last thing I expected so it really did catch me off guard, as we really never had problems feelings wise, it was always more problem of logistics and the perspective of me moving so far away. We talked about it and decided to give it time cause we really never lived with each other. He admitted that he no longer feels like he is head over heels about me and he doesn't know why... It's hard for me but I'm hopeful it's going to change... Maybe once the baby comes it will bring us closer again.

LIly436 · November 2015

I am sorry, that you are in this situation. Unfortunately and most likely the baby will not bring you closer together. Be prepared for your marriage to fall apart

andreaAL11 · February 2016

My husband completely changed a 180 when I was pregnant. We hated eachother. But we knew it would pass and we worked through it, and now we have a baby girl and are back to normal! Just make sure to talk to eachother about how you're feeling

bridgemanliz · February 2016

Give him time. I had my daughter at 18 and yes it is a huge change. Everythin will smooth out as he gets more excited. That is something to work towards.. get him excited!! Mine is beside himself however he doesn't know whats coming yet. Best of luck!

2winterbabies · February 2016

bridgemanliz said:

Give him time. I had my daughter at 18 and yes it is a huge change. Everythin will smooth out as he gets more excited. That is something to work towards.. get him excited!! Mine is beside himself however he doesn't know whats coming yet. Best of luck!

Yes! You are already pregnant and he wanted to marry you... It sounds like he does have feelings for you just doesn't know how to handle the situation. Give it time to sink in. You are going through so many emotions right now because of the horomones and for him he is getting used to the idea of becoming a father. Everything is new to you two. As time goes by with the pregnancy try to get him involved. My DH's favorite moment for us was the 20 week anatomy scan. That's when we find out boy or girl -- such an exciting time. Try not to stress yourself. Take in all the bad and good that pregnancy has to offer, it's only a 9 month experience.

No idea what to do...:(

Re: No idea what to do...:(

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