I am having a really hard time with people that think their children are perfect.
My 2 year old just started HATING the tub. I was out with a group of moms and shared this info hoping for some advice. Instead this is what I got..."Oh really, my daughter loves the tub. That is so weird. But I think she is just a water baby like I was."
I actually think we've gotten too out of control with threads being policed... If something isn't on the first 2 pages I don't care if someone posts a new one... This board is pretty dead anyway.
What's up with all the horizontally striped maternity shirts? I'm finally starting to shop for maternity clothes and they're EVERYWHERE. Horizontal stripes are not your friend, and they're certainly not your friend during pregnancy.
I can't stand ignorant comments from some of my girlfriends who have not yet gone through pregnancy. Examples:
"I don't understand how my sister doesn't even manage to put on make up just because she feels nauseous. It takes like two seconds!" --when I too was feeling nauseous in my first trimester and feeling like death.
"Oh you're not coming on the party bus? It's only a few hours. I'm tired but I still want to be there just to be there for her." --when I didn't want to risk all the loud music, drunk people, dancing on poles and potentially falling on me for my friend's 30th birthday.
"You're fine, bleeding is normal. My friend bled throughout her whole pregnancy and had a healthy baby." -- when I bled for weeks during first trimester having been told from my doc I may have a threatened miscarriage.
STFU. You don't know shit. Come say these things after you've gone through them- the whole sickness, scare, and all!
I actually think we've gotten too out of control with threads being policed... If something isn't on the first 2 pages I don't care if someone posts a new one... This board is pretty dead anyway.
I agree, and I think one of the reasons this board is dying down is all the policing. Who wants to hang out somewhere where everyone is obsessed with the rules?
I really don't enjoy constant updates about people's pregnancies on Facebook. I don't need 10 pictures of you putting together a baby swing. I'm pretty glad you can unfollow people. (I posted our announcement and that's all anyone will get until this thing is out)
What's up with all the horizontally striped maternity shirts? I'm finally starting to shop for maternity clothes and they're EVERYWHERE. Horizontal stripes are not your friend, and they're certainly not your friend during pregnancy.
I actually like the horizontal stripe shirts. I have a few. They look cute on a baby bump.
I actually think we've gotten too out of control with threads being policed... If something isn't on the first 2 pages I don't care if someone posts a new one... This board is pretty dead anyway.
I agree, and I think one of the reasons this board is dying down is all the policing. Who wants to hang out somewhere where everyone is obsessed with the rules?
I know I am probably breaking some sort of rule now, but I totally agree with this. People are super neurotic about this. Get over it.
I actually think we've gotten too out of control with threads being policed... If something isn't on the first 2 pages I don't care if someone posts a new one... This board is pretty dead anyway.
I agree, and I think one of the reasons this board is dying down is all the policing. Who wants to hang out somewhere where everyone is obsessed with the rules?
I know I am probably breaking some sort of rule now, but I totally agree with this. People are super neurotic about this. Get over it.
Ehh. I don't really care either way. If the post isn't getting many responses I'll suggest the other threads where the same things are discussed. How many threads on 3D ultrasounds does one bmb really need?
I can't stand ignorant comments from some of my girlfriends who have not yet gone through pregnancy. Examples:
"I don't understand how my sister doesn't even manage to put on make up just because she feels nauseous. It takes like two seconds!" --when I too was feeling nauseous in my first trimester and feeling like death.
"Oh you're not coming on the party bus? It's only a few hours. I'm tired but I still want to be there just to be there for her." --when I didn't want to risk all the loud music, drunk people, dancing on poles and potentially falling on me for my friend's 30th birthday.
"You're fine, bleeding is normal. My friend bled throughout her whole pregnancy and had a healthy baby." -- when I bled for weeks during first trimester having been told from my doc I may have a threatened miscarriage.
STFU. You don't know shit. Come say these things after you've gone through them- the whole sickness, scare, and all!
When my bestfriend was pg with her first, I would ask her how she was doing and she would tell me how sick and terrible she feels. And I would always say "oh that stinks" without truly thinking about how awful it must be to be sick for ongoing weeks.
Then when I became pg and people would ask me and I would say how awful and sick I have been, they would say something like "oh that stinks" and in my head I just think "YOU HAVE NO FRICKING CLUE!!!" It was almost funny hearing those words come back to me!
Me - 33; DH - 33 Dating 1/18/06 Married 9/21/13 BFP #1 12/15/15 - C Born 8/27/16 BFP #2 1/10/20 - EDD 9/8/20
Not really a UO, just something that is annoying me. A good friend of mine vents to me ALL THE TIME about guy issues and job issues, and I always listen and offer advice (when needed) or just affirm her feelings. Yet whenever I vent about pregnancy stuff (i.e. how I cried on the way to BRU the other day because I just felt so overwhelmed with anxiety about getting everything done in time for baby), all I get is "But you have plenty of time!". Even when I (happily!) mentioned a few days later that we had picked out a stroller and carseat, and that my DH and practiced folding/unfolding it and putting the carseat into the stroller, she said "You really don't need to do all that now, do you? You have so much time."
I KNOW she's never done any of this stuff before (nor have I), but.... 5 months doesn't sound like "so much!" time to prepare to have my first child! Excuse me for being a little anxious. This friend has also been worrying about finding a new place to rent (her building is being sold in August) for the past many months, and she has been planning for the puppy she's getting in July for months now as well. I don't get why it's okay for her to worry/stress about these things, but silly for me to be anxious about having this baby...
I feel a bit guilty about having this UO but... I'm getting sick of everyone wanting to tell me their birth story all the time. I know it's well meaning, people are excited for me and want to share, but most of the time it's like this long drawn out story of how far apart their contractions were, how far dilated they were and what the doctor said or did. At a certain point my eyes glaze over and my mind wanders because I can pretty much guess where this story is going -- a baby comes out at the end!!! So I just politely smile and nod.
Everyone's experience is so different that none of these stories provide any valuable insight to me. Like, oh, your birth was easy and nearly pain free? Well, I'm not going to assume mine will be the same. Yours was a complete nightmare? Don't really want to freak myself out by hearing about it, then. Very few things I've heard have included a real cautionary tale that I would consider when making my birth plan. Maybe once I go through it myself I'll enjoy sharing war stories with other moms, but for now it's kind of annoying. And there's often a bit of an agenda, like to convince me to choose the type of birth they did. I am venting this now because this morning I had a work meeting that basically turned into a childbirth share-a-thon.
@snaps816 I've found some stories interesting, and that's a large part of why I hired a doula. A lot of my friends stories seemed to center around their frustration with trying to advocate for themselves during labor with doctors who weren't listening / informing them of all the options. But I agree, focus on helpful things. Like "The best thing I did was bring make up. It let me feel like myself by putting on my face when I went home." I don't wear makeup, but I was able to get the lesson that doing something which let's me feel like ME will help me emotionally post partum.
But yes, the one-upping horror stories of the actual birth.... Please keep it to yourself. I don't really have a choice about doing it right now, so convincing me its a sht show isn't really helpful.
My UO kind of piggy backs on another post in another thread. I don't want my kids birthdays to fall on another family members birthday or any kind of anniversary. While some people think it's cool and hope their born on the same day, I love celebrating birthday and holidays and like to keep everyone's separate.
I don't care about birthdays or the fact that it makes me look like a bad mom that I put no effort into my daughter's first birthday(mostly compared to my SIL's). I'm not going to spend a ton of money and make it look like something straight of pinterest because it will all go in the garbage and its just an excuse to make other mom's go harder and I'm just not into that competition. Also, I never thought birthdays were a big deal anyway. Too special snowflake for me.
My UO kind of piggy backs on another post in another thread. I don't want my kids birthdays to fall on another family members birthday or any kind of anniversary. While some people think it's cool and hope their born on the same day, I love celebrating birthday and holidays and like to keep everyone's separate.
THIS. RIGHT. HERE. I have 10 possible birthdays from July 30th-August 15th that I could potentially hit. August 15th is FIL's birthday and he is ADAMANT that I will have this baby on his birthday and his birthday only. If it happens, it happens. But it is so annoying and I don't want my child's birthday to revolve around being on Gpa's birthday every single year.
I don't care about birthdays or the fact that it makes me look like a bad mom that I put no effort into my daughter's first birthday(mostly compared to my SIL's). I'm not going to spend a ton of money and make it look like something straight of pinterest because it will all go in the garbage and its just an excuse to make other mom's go harder and I'm just not into that competition. Also, I never thought birthdays were a big deal anyway. Too special snowflake for me.
Flame away!
I am totally with you on this! The child has no idea what is going on, so a first birthday party is really for the parents. I'll save my money and energy for when my kid will actually know what's going on and appreciate a party.
This. But mostly when people say they won't get their kid vaccinated because it "causes autism". Please do research before you hang your hat on falsified data. Edited: more rant to add
I actually think we've gotten too out of control with threads being policed... If something isn't on the first 2 pages I don't care if someone posts a new one... This board is pretty dead anyway.
I agree, and I think one of the reasons this board is dying down is all the policing. Who wants to hang out somewhere where everyone is obsessed with the rules?
I know I am probably breaking some sort of rule now, but I totally agree with this. People are super neurotic about this. Get over it.
Agreed!
It's so much more fun with a little snark and an occasional rule breaker!
My UO: for some reason long hair on little boys weirds me out. I love it on men, especially with a really excellent beard. I dated a Viking once who had gorgeous flowing locks. Shoulder-length curls on toddlers? No thank you.
I also barely threw a birthday party for DS's 1st birthday. He was thrilled to have a cupcake and wear the paper party hats I bought and that was it. We're planning on doing basically the same thing for his second birthday next month because he still won't know the difference and would probably end up cranky and overtired from a ton of people anyway.
I guess my UO is that I love big first birthday parties. But I also believe they are all about the parents. So we invited all our friends and used it as an excuse to have a big Cinco de Mayo party. We have done this two years in a row now and I think this is probably the last year we can get away with it before he has a say in what kind of party he wants.
I don't care about birthdays or the fact that it makes me look like a bad mom that I put no effort into my daughter's first birthday(mostly compared to my SIL's). I'm not going to spend a ton of money and make it look like something straight of pinterest because it will all go in the garbage and its just an excuse to make other mom's go harder and I'm just not into that competition. Also, I never thought birthdays were a big deal anyway. Too special snowflake for me.
Flame away!
I am totally with you on this! The child has no idea what is going on, so a first birthday party is really for the parents. I'll save my money and energy for when my kid will actually know what's going on and appreciate a party.
I also agree wit this. My best friend plans the cutest themed parties for her daughter, spends months planning these tiny details. I have always known that there is no way I can put that much thought or time into it. I am super happy we are having an August baby so we can just have a simple cookout every year! (small house, big deck).
ETA: this friend is now 28 weeks prego with twin boys... so we'll see if it keeps up now! I may hate her if it does *sarcasm*
Me - 33; DH - 33 Dating 1/18/06 Married 9/21/13 BFP #1 12/15/15 - C Born 8/27/16 BFP #2 1/10/20 - EDD 9/8/20
My daughter's birthday is December 23rd. I get more people trying to tell me that I should go out of my way not to make her party a Christmas theme or to celebrate her 1/2 birthday. Um no! I just embrace the time or year and we essentially just threw Christmas parties the last 2 years that happen to have birthday cake. It's been a blast. People take this birthday party think way too seriously. A lot has changed since I was a kid!
I can't remember if it was this forum or not, but at some point I read people purposely and wishing not to have their kids on other's birthdays. I think this is ridiculous. I share a birthday with my mom and it is awesome. We just would have two names on the cake instead of one. Sharing a birthday does not mean it takes away from their special day. I guess its kind of along with the birthday party thing...
Edit: present tense instead of past... my mom is definitely still alive so we still share a birthday.
I can't remember if it was this forum or not, but at some point I read people purposely and wishing not to have their kids on other's birthdays. I think this is ridiculous. I share a birthday with my mom and it is awesome. We just would have two names on the cake instead of one. Sharing a birthday does not mean it takes away from their special day. I guess its kind of along with the birthday party thing...
Edit: present tense instead of past... my mom is definitely still alive so we still share a birthday.
DS1 was born on MIL's 60th birthday and if this baby is late he could be born on my mom's 63rd birthday. I think that could be kind of cool - except for the fact I don't want another late baby, that is. Those last few days were torture!!
My due date is about 4 days away from DH birthday and he hopes it comes in that day. He doesn't like the attention on himself so, I think it would be fun and special for him to be able to celebrate together each year. Also - I love throwing theme parties and can't wait to have big parties for the kids.
My daughter's birthday is December 23rd. I get more people trying to tell me that I should go out of my way not to make her party a Christmas theme or to celebrate her 1/2 birthday. Um no! I just embrace the time or year and we essentially just threw Christmas parties the last 2 years that happen to have birthday cake. It's been a blast. People take this birthday party think way too seriously. A lot has changed since I was a kid!
As someone with a Similar Birthday I have to say I am really glad my parents made a point of celebrating my birthday separately from Christmas. They did the half birthday thing when I was young after realizing little kids my age had trouble separatIng my birthday party from a Christmas party. As I got older we stopped the half birthday stuff but the family always makes a point to celebrate my birthday thst day. I have come to embrace the Christmas vibe as part of my birthday, we even went to go caroling as part of the party. But it is still important to me that those closest to me acknowledge my birth as separate from the holiday. Everyone else gets a day that people celebrate them, holiday babies need that too. Especially from family, as they will have a lifetime of Christmas presents wrapped half in birthday paper or birthday presents wrapped in inside out Christmas paper. I don't really care about presents, but it still gets old. Just a perspective from the other side. Embracing is great, but you also want to have the same acknowledgement others get. That said uou fon't need some big shabang, just a little special moment.
Re: UO 2/25
I am having a really hard time with people that think their children are perfect.
My 2 year old just started HATING the tub. I was out with a group of moms and shared this info hoping for some advice. Instead this is what I got..."Oh really, my daughter loves the tub. That is so weird. But I think she is just a water baby like I was."
I wanted punch her in the face.
"I don't understand how my sister doesn't even manage to put on make up just because she feels nauseous. It takes like two seconds!" --when I too was feeling nauseous in my first trimester and feeling like death.
"Oh you're not coming on the party bus? It's only a few hours. I'm tired but I still want to be there just to be there for her." --when I didn't want to risk all the loud music, drunk people, dancing on poles and potentially falling on me for my friend's 30th birthday.
"You're fine, bleeding is normal. My friend bled throughout her whole pregnancy and had a healthy baby." -- when I bled for weeks during first trimester having been told from my doc I may have a threatened miscarriage.
STFU. You don't know shit. Come say these things after you've gone through them- the whole sickness, scare, and all!
I know I am probably breaking some sort of rule now, but I totally agree with this. People are super neurotic about this. Get over it.
Then when I became pg and people would ask me and I would say how awful and sick I have been, they would say something like "oh that stinks" and in my head I just think "YOU HAVE NO FRICKING CLUE!!!" It was almost funny hearing those words come back to me!
Me - 33; DH - 33Dating 1/18/06
Married 9/21/13
BFP #1 12/15/15 - C Born 8/27/16
BFP #2 1/10/20 - EDD 9/8/20
I KNOW she's never done any of this stuff before (nor have I), but.... 5 months doesn't sound like "so much!" time to prepare to have my first child! Excuse me for being a little anxious. This friend has also been worrying about finding a new place to rent (her building is being sold in August) for the past many months, and she has been planning for the puppy she's getting in July for months now as well. I don't get why it's okay for her to worry/stress about these things, but silly for me to be anxious about having this baby...
Everyone's experience is so different that none of these stories provide any valuable insight to me. Like, oh, your birth was easy and nearly pain free? Well, I'm not going to assume mine will be the same. Yours was a complete nightmare? Don't really want to freak myself out by hearing about it, then. Very few things I've heard have included a real cautionary tale that I would consider when making my birth plan. Maybe once I go through it myself I'll enjoy sharing war stories with other moms, but for now it's kind of annoying. And there's often a bit of an agenda, like to convince me to choose the type of birth they did. I am venting this now because this morning I had a work meeting that basically turned into a childbirth share-a-thon.
I think it's totally selfish to go out in public contagious. You're not a hero for coming to work sick, it actually kinda makes me hate you.
@snaps816 I've found some stories interesting, and that's a large part of why I hired a doula. A lot of my friends stories seemed to center around their frustration with trying to advocate for themselves during labor with doctors who weren't listening / informing them of all the options. But I agree, focus on helpful things. Like "The best thing I did was bring make up. It let me feel like myself by putting on my face when I went home." I don't wear makeup, but I was able to get the lesson that doing something which let's me feel like ME will help me emotionally post partum.
But yes, the one-upping horror stories of the actual birth.... Please keep it to yourself. I don't really have a choice about doing it right now, so convincing me its a sht show isn't really helpful.
Flame away!
It's so much more fun with a little snark and an occasional rule breaker!
My UO: for some reason long hair on little boys weirds me out. I love it on men, especially with a really excellent beard. I dated a Viking once who had gorgeous flowing locks. Shoulder-length curls on toddlers? No thank you.
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
ETA: this friend is now 28 weeks prego with twin boys... so we'll see if it keeps up now! I may hate her if it does *sarcasm*
Me - 33; DH - 33Dating 1/18/06
Married 9/21/13
BFP #1 12/15/15 - C Born 8/27/16
BFP #2 1/10/20 - EDD 9/8/20
I have to chime in the birthday party front...
My daughter's birthday is December 23rd. I get more people trying to tell me that I should go out of my way not to make her party a Christmas theme or to celebrate her 1/2 birthday. Um no! I just embrace the time or year and we essentially just threw Christmas parties the last 2 years that happen to have birthday cake. It's been a blast. People take this birthday party think way too seriously. A lot has changed since I was a kid!
Edit: present tense instead of past... my mom is definitely still alive so we still share a birthday.
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
Edited because fat fingers