How does cosleeping work? Are you going to do it?

Starlight32 · February 2016

we were planning on putting baby straight in the crib. But now I'm reading up how co sleeping is better for breast feeding. I'm unsure how I feel about baby sleeping close to our bed though because I move a ton. What is everyone here planning on doing?

DeePaddy24 · February 2016

I'm a FTM & not planning on co-sleeping with him in our bed. For the first few weeks I will have him sleeping in our room (in the bassinet portion of the pack n play) on my side of the room. I think that will be convenient enough for breast feeding throughout the night. I'd like to transition him to his crib after a few weeks. I'm new at all of this, so it will be a learning experience for me, too.

alysemci · February 2016

I planned on keeping the baby in a crib in his room and we ended up cosleeping! You can get an arms reach bassinet that connects to the bed so you can nurse and move the baby less than a foot over to the bassinet without getting up or even really moving. We have one and love it.

mrsb8244 · February 2016

I'm a FTM so no experience but my plan is to keep baby in his bassinet next to our bed while he's feeding frequently. Keeping him in our bed makes me too nervous. We have a queen and my husband and I move a lot plus we have a 70 lbs dog so I don't want to risk him laying on the baby. It'll be interesting to see how it all turns out though!

GinnyJ2012 · February 2016

I ended up cosleeping with DS1 because he would only sleep while nursing. After a few weeks of almost zero sleep I would have done almost anything to sleep! When he was about 5 months old I made the transition into his crib, and while he was still difficult he did spend the majority of sleep time in his crib.

With DS2 he slept in a rock n play in our room until we put him in his crib at a few months old. He was an easy baby and pretty much was happy with whatever.

I'll try the rock n play again with this LO and see how things go.

NLewis1 · February 2016

I had an arms reach cosleeper with our son an he HATED it. Refused to sleep in it. I ended up just keeping him in bed with us. I used to be a super hard sleeper, but honestly I think your mom instincts just kick in and you just always know where your baby is. My husband used to be a hard sleeper too and he adjusted super fast to having the baby in our bed. It was super nice because I just slept topless (my breasts didn't ever leak so that wasn't a concern to me) and when he was hungry he would just latch and eat and I would lightly snooze.

i went back to work FT at 6 weeks and it's how I got the most sleep.

i will probably get flamed for this - but if you safely cosleep (not using drugs, alcohol, cold medicines, sleep aides) I think cosleeping can be a really wonderful and bonding thing. If my husband gets sick and has to take NyQuil or whatever he just sleeps on the couch.

We we moved our son to the crib when I quite breastfeeding at 7-8 months. I'm not going to lie - it was a rough transition. But at 18 months he sleeps in his own bed 85% of the time and usually comes in for morning snuggles about 5/5:30 - which is something both his dad and I enjoy. We will stop doing this once it stops working for our family.

That at being said, I got a pack and play with a bassinet in the top hoping baby girl would like it better than her brother likes the arms reach.

mrsp2213 · February 2016

Planning to keep her in the bassinet until we're not up every couple of hours feeding, then we'll transition her to her crib in the nursery. I am hoping to have her fully transitioned to the crib by the time my 12 week leave is over and I have to go back to work. No co-sleeping with her in the bed though, the Mr. and I both agreed on that.

goldie987 · February 2016

Same as others, the baby will sleep in the bassinet portion of a packnplay next to our bed. I've read too many horror stories about accidental suffocation from bed sharing to feel comfortable with it, even if done following the guidelines that supposedly make it safe. I'd rather have things be a little less convienant than risk my child's life.

Bee112309 · February 2016

Do you mean co-sleeping, or bed-sharing? Co-sleeping just means that you have the baby in the same room with you, often right next to the bed. Bed-sharing is when the baby is actually in bed with you. With both of my daughters, I planned on co-sleeping, but wound up bed-sharing because they just would not sleep anywhere but touching me. I did do a lot of research on bed-sharing safely (firm mattress, no pillow, tight-fitting sheet, no heavy blankets, etc) beforehand. I am planning on trying for co-sleeping again this time, but would not be surprised at all if bed-sharing happens.

Bed-sharing allowed all of us to get the most sleep possible, as they would generally just latch on when they woke up hungry. I kept a set of diaper-changing material on my nightstand, so there was no infant screaming for a long time in the middle of the night and waking up our toddler and my husband. I was able to easily transition both of them to their cribs at around 6 months old.

Bear14+ · February 2016

I planned on having baby in my room with me for the first few months....not in bed, but in the P&P bassinet or R&P.

What actually happened....I spent 3 months on the couch.

For the first few weeks, only sleep I was getting was with LO on my chest (yep, know the risks). Then I moved him to the R&P. My bed was so high it made it difficult to hold his pacifier and soothe to sleep or rock the R&P. So I stayed on the couch for a few months. Even the nights I would be in the room, DH sleeps with the TV on, so the TV became a distraction because I didn't want DS to rely on TV to sleep. Eventually I moved the R&P to the nursery in front of the monitor and moved back to my bedroom.

On bed sharing...had it been possible in my house, I probably would have tried it. Any time I tried it, it was really difficult for me to get comfortable without blankets & pillows, so I always had trouble falling asleep. Then, DH usually had a glass of wine or 2 after work every night, so I was always nervous about the baby sleeping in bed.

I have a feeling we'll be repeating much of this again.

lm45678 · February 2016

FTM so this is my ideal, and may very well not be my reality.

Our room connects to the nursery so I plan on putting baby in the crib right away. We have 2 dogs that sleep with us and I don't want them disturbing the baby (I'll put a gate in the doorway and leave the door open- so baby will basically be in my room.)

My hope is to disturb DH as little as possible during my feedings and me as little as possible during his. I also can't imagine trying to change the babies diaper on our bed while he gets sniffed and licked by both dogs!

I think the ideal scenario is to have baby in your room for the first few months, in their own bed or in a safe co-sleeper, i.e. Arms reach. As a former mother/baby nurse I definitely don't think having baby in your bed with you is safe. I know a lot of moms swear by it and there babies are happy and healthy, I personally just don't think it's very safe.

Boonhilde · February 2016

I co-slept with my first, but only on week days when DH had to get up early and he slept in the other room, and baby wasn't sleeping that close to me. I wasn't really in danger of rolling over him, but I'm a light sleeper. After a few months baby slept longer periods and DH joined us and we upgraded to a queen. I love co-sleeping but it also has its cons. Our son is 3 now and we're expecting, and I'm going to put him in his own room and I imagine the transition is going to be awful. But I absolutely loved co-sleeping.

VikingGirl12 · February 2016

DS stayed in the bassinet/rock n play/pack n play for the first 3 or 4 months next to our bed. I know they say that it's safest to keep them in your room for 6 months but he was ready for the switch into his own room. We will likely do the same for this one.

amidavey06 · February 2016

We tried using the bassinet part of the PNP with DD but she would sleep more soundly when she was in bed next to me. I'm a light sleeper and kept my arm around her because DH is a heavy sleeper. It made breastfeeding during the night super easy because I didn't have to lift her. I just put her to the boobs and she would usually pass out after a while.

I I bought a co sleeper for this next one that will be connected to the bed. I'm hoping that it works out much better than the PNP.

mdargie · February 2016

Dd slept in the pnp next to us and ds will do the same. Bedsharing would never be an option for us since DH and I both sleep deeply and DH is often hard to wake. We'll probably have him in his own room around 6 months ish.

Starlight32 · February 2016

I looked at arms reach and I think it could work if we used us as a stand alone and not connected to the bed (I throw blankets around too much to be ok with it connected).

What's the difference between the pack and play and an arms reach co sleeper?

amidavey06 · February 2016

@starlight32 an arms reach there is aside that lowered so you are able to reach baby without lifting them out of it. A PNP has both sides raised. Some has a napper option (DD loved her's).

ashleyrobertson0113 · February 2016

FTM so this is all theoretical, but we got an arms-reach cosleeper and plan to have him in the room with us until he sleeps through the night (or at least more than a few hours at a time).

Emztron500 · February 2016

It's recommended to have the baby sleep in the same room as you for the first 5 months to decrease SIDS risk. That could mean crib in your room, bassinet by your bed, arm's reach cosleeper, baby in your bed. Whatever works for you.

Bed-sharing is quite safe as long as there aren't other risk factors present. Main concerns are no loose blankets/bedding that could suffocate baby, parents are non-smokers (if either of you smoke, don't bedshare), parents are not intoxicated, and there are no "gaps" where baby could become trapped and suffocate (ie gap between the bed and the wall, gap between mattress and headboard, gap between a cosleeper-style bassinet and the edge of the mattress). Something like 70% of parents end up bedsharing at some point, so it's good to make sure you know how to create a safe environment and don't bring your baby into an unsafe bed out of desperation and exhaustion.

Personally I found co-sleeping a HUGE help for breastfeeding. Your baby will likely feed at least every 2 hours around the clock for a while. Not having to get up, get out of bed, and go to another room every time is huge.

HeartLikeMine3 · February 2016

With my first we used the arms reach co-sleeper mini next to put bed for the first 6 months. Then we transitioned him to his crib upstairs. This worked perfect for us and we will do it again with baby girl. With the kids rooms being upstairs I personally couldn't be that far from a newborn at night. I may transition to a crib sooner if our rooms were all on one level.

Starlight32 · February 2016

Do you think having baby in a pack and play type option in the same room also decrease sids or does baby have to be in bed or in a co sleeper attached to bed to reduce sids?

Emztron500 · February 2016

Starlight32 said:

Do you think having baby in a pack and play type option in the same room also decrease sids or does baby have to be in bed or in a co sleeper attached to bed to reduce sids?

Just in the same room is good!

heathersaysso · February 2016

I'd like to bed-share but my husband is a sleep ninja and occasionally thrashes around like he's in the final scenes of Kill Bill 2. We built an easy-reach bassinet that kind of hooks onto our bed, hopefully that works.

fishwife799 · February 2016

GinnyJ2012 said:

I ended up cosleeping with DS1 because he would only sleep while nursing. After a few weeks of almost zero sleep I would have done almost anything to sleep! When he was about 5 months old I made the transition into his crib, and while he was still difficult he did spend the majority of sleep time in his crib.

With DS2 he slept in a rock n play in our room until we put him in his crib at a few months old. He was an easy baby and pretty much was happy with whatever.

I'll try the rock n play again with this LO and see how things go.

This sounds almost exactly like what happened to us. Our daughter Co slept because she would only sleep while nursing. We moved her to her bed around 5 months.

Our son slept in the rock n play in our room till we put him in his crib. He was also an easy baby and has always been super easy going.

Are you as worried about the third as I am

GinnyJ2012 · February 2016

fishwife799 said:

GinnyJ2012 said:

I ended up cosleeping with DS1 because he would only sleep while nursing. After a few weeks of almost zero sleep I would have done almost anything to sleep! When he was about 5 months old I made the transition into his crib, and while he was still difficult he did spend the majority of sleep time in his crib.

With DS2 he slept in a rock n play in our room until we put him in his crib at a few months old. He was an easy baby and pretty much was happy with whatever.

I'll try the rock n play again with this LO and see how things go.

This sounds almost exactly like what happened to us. Our daughter Co slept because she would only sleep while nursing. We moved her to her bed around 5 months.

Our son slept in the rock n play in our room till we put him in his crib. He was also an easy baby and has always been super easy going.

Are you as worried about the third as I am

Yes! I'm terrified I'll have another difficult baby like my first! But I'm also much more confident as a parent then I was 3 years ago, so hopefully even if she is difficult I'll be able to handle it!

egirl1025 · February 2016

We are going to use a cradle in our room for as long as it is feasible. Co-sleeping is very scary for me especially since my husband frequently rolls over on to me without a problem, so I cannot imagine him feeling a little baby underneath him. The city I live in has the highest infant mortality rate in the nation and a majority is due to co-sleeping deaths. The city has tried to combat this by going so far as to send a new pack 'n play home with every newborn infant. This all being said, I am not saying that people that decide to cosleep with their babies are bad parents, but I urge them to do so as safely as possible. I have seen many products that allow for the baby to be near and in bed, but create a separate sleeping space for the infant to prevent potential suffocation. I of course will be the mom poking the baby constantly to make sure it is still breathing...I even do it to my husband if he is sleeping too quietly.

Lilwatz · February 2016

Bedsharing terrifies both me and my husband. It's just not a risk we are willing to take. We did a Rock n Play next to the bed or the bassinet section of the Pack n Play for the first 2 months. Then we moved her to her room in the RnP at 2 months. After that (don't remember when) we transitioned her into her crib. Same plan for Baby Girl #2.

CourtJack · February 2016

Bed-sharing is not for us but is VERY common. We are planning on room-sharing for the first 3-4 months, bassinet beside the bed.

edeibel89 · February 2016

My plan is definitely similar to many other PPs. I want to have him in the Pack n' Play sleeper in our rom for the first little while, when he's waking up all the time to feed, and then hopefully move him to his crib by the time my maternity leave is up. Co-sleeping in the bed has always scared me because I like to move around but it's definitely being ruled out with this pregnancy: I have pillows surrounding me right now to be able to sleep and DH is very consistently rolling over onto said pillows, or resting his arm on them. Needless to say, that won't be as harmless with an infant!!

MynaBird · February 2016

We plan to use a pack n play in our bedroom for the first six months since research has indicated sharing the parents' room reduces the risk of SIDS by up to 50 percent. After that I'd like to move her into her crib, which is in a room she'll be sharing with her older sister. I bed-shared a couple of times with our first baby, but it was scary for me, even with a firm mattress, no blankets, etc. -- I just didn't feel secure with it when she was tiny, and that kept me from being able to sleep.