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Pregnant after a 34 week stillborn

bethbymabethbyma member
in Pregnant after a Loss
Hi mammas,
My husband and I are expecting a new baby and I am 13 weeks along! Things look good and we've seen and heard the heartbeat 3 times. But our last pregnancy ended with a 34 week stillborn. Delivering that baby girl was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Now that I am pregnant again I am so excited but I am also terrified. This is my 3rd pregnancy, we also have a healthy 2.5 year old but I am still scared to death. I am showing already but I am scared to tell anyone! Is this normal? I know everything is fine, and I am sicker than a dog but there is still a part of me that keeps wondering. Every time when I have a day where I feel somewhat normal, with no sickness, I worry because I'm supposed to feel sick. I am a mess. Is this whole pregnancy going to be like this?
Only you guys will understand because you've been though something similar. Its like my head and body know I'm pregnant but my heart doesn't want to believe it yet. 
Advice?

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Re: Pregnant after a 34 week stillborn

  • MamaBishMamaBish member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Congrats on your new pregnancy! I am pregnant again after a stillborn and everything you have said is completely normal. I only told people because my belly gave me away. I am now almost 19 weeks and still terrified. My Anatomy scan is tomorrow and I'm a nervous wreck! I do have more appointments this time because of my history, and my Dr's are very accommodating to my anxiety. 

    My advice: therapy. It helps a lot and I've started scheduling sessions the day before appts because that's when I'm most stressed. Other than that, distraction. Find a good non baby related book to read in order to escape your own mind. Or find a project to do.

    congrats again! Best of luck and if you need to chat, feel free to pm me :)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    🌈  Preemie 2016  🌈
    ♥ Stillborn 2015 ♥
            
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  • bntfroggiebntfroggie member
    I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss and wish you an uneventful pregnancy!
    BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
    DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16).  "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
    DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18).  "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
    BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21).  "Round 3 FIGHT!"
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  • linzandjer11linzandjer11 member
    Second that to the therapy! You can stop when you feel like it's not helpful anymore, but it is an awesome tool that we don't use enough!
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  • waterfall213waterfall213 member
    I'm sorry for your loss. I had a stillborn daughter at 31 weeks. I think all of your feelings are completely normal. I'm only 5 weeks pregnant and haven't had a doctor's appointment yet. I'm excited but terrified. I'm sure this whole pregnancy will be very emotional and I'll feel like I'm holding my breath until I'm holding a healthy baby.

     

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  • kwrightnbkwrightnb member
    I am also pregnant after a stillborn. Everything your feeling is completely normal and as much as I'd like to say it gets easier, it really doesn't. I'm now 29 weeks and although it hasn't 'gotten easier' I'm finding ways to deal with it better.  I have got to see my little peanut in about 10 ultrasounds so far! Which is awesome that the doctors are giving me so many appointments and checkups :) and they probably will for you too! The only advice I can give is take it one day at a time! I focused on small goals (first tri, then second, then viability, then 28 weeks when I lost my little girl). 
    I think you'll start to feel better when you can feel your little one moving around inside you, that to me has always been my daily reassurance that my little man is a-okay :) 
    also talk and communicate with you DH or SO as much as possible to make sure you both understand how you are handling this pregnancy. The grieving process is a strange thing, and you'll both be going through so many emotions this pregnancy so make sure to stick together and keep in touch on how your feeling. 
    Good luck and I pray everything works out well for you and your lo this pregnancy. <3
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  • carrieandrcarrieandr member
    My losses were both in the first trimester, so it's definitely a different experience. I just wanted to welcome you and wish you the best of luck finding peace in this pregnancy. I'm glad you are excited in spite of the other feelings that come with the territory. I hope everything goes very well this time. xo
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
    BFP 2/16/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks      •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
    BFP 9/24/18  •      CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













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