Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

1st miscarriage

I have a lot of emotions going through my head right now, and I'm sure I'll post a full into later but one this is bothering me terribly right now. I miscarried naturally today after seeing baby with a heartbeat yesterday. I was at the grocery store and I can't quit thinking about how horrible it was to lose my baby in the toilet and have to flush her down. I just can't quit crying over that. I don't think I would've known where she even was with the amount of clots I passed but I feel terrible about it. Sorry to be graphic. I just can't stop thinking about it. 

Re: 1st miscarriage

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I miscarried one week ago today - 24 hours after seeing and hearing the heartbeat, at 6w5d. I understand the shock of seeing a heartbeat one day, and then miscarrying the next. There had been some signs that I may miscarry - HSG levels were rising, but not doubling, and the ultrasound showed a smaller-than-normal gestational sac. But even with the doctor's warning that there was a possibility of miscarriage, there is nothing to prepare you for it, especially so soon after seeing a strong heartbeat.

    Just wanted to let you know that I understand what you're going through, and I am so sorry.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • My heart breaks for you my dear. Seeing our little ones and then loosing them so quickly leaves us no time to truly grasp what just happened. My miscarriage occurred on Friday and I saw the sac and the little tiny cord in the toilet. I was so devastated and could not just flush my child down the toilet. My dear husband came in and looked and held me as he did it for me. No one can even begin to prepare you for the feeling you get when you see the little one and knowing what has to be done. I cried for days going over and over everything that happened from the time I found out I was pregnant. I still do. Please remember we are here for you. We have all felt loss and know what you are feeling. Now is the time to grieve and please grieve at your own pace. Do not rush through it because you feel you have to. Be sad for as long as you need. Get mad and feel everything you need to feel. Stay in bed or on the couch until you are ready to face the world. Just allow yourself and your body time to heal.

    I am sending you lots of hugs and supportive wishes. We are all here for you day and night.
    ME 37 + DH 40
    Tried to conceive first baby over a year. 
    October 2015: Began IVF <3
    November 2015: 15 Eggs Retrieved, 10 Viable, 8 Fertilized through ICSI, 4 6 Day Blastocysts Made It To Freeze!!!!
    December 2015: FET #1 Transferred 1 6 Day Blastocyst BFN :(
    January 2016: FET #2 Transferred 2 6 Day Blastocyst BFP!!!!!
    February 19, 2016: Officially lost our little blueberry through natural miscarriage. 
    July 17, 2016: FET #3 Transferred 1 6 Day Blastocyst BFP!!!!!
    August 2016: Officially lost our little bean through natural miscarriage. 

    !!!!!!SURPRISE!!!!!!
    Natural pregnancy October 2016!!!!!
    Our Miracle Rainbow Baby
    Due Date July 20, 2017

    http://danica-thethingstheydonttellyou.blogspot.com/
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Thank you ladies. I'm glad that forums like this exist. I feel like I had signs that I would miscarry but it happened very quickly. 
  • I am sorry for your loss.  Even though I knew the chances of miscarriage and have many friends who have suffered 1st and 2nd tri losses, I was far from prepared for this.  It really sucks.  And those distinct memories that we carry now of how we found out and how it happens...it all sucks.  
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. We're all here for you. For me it helped a lot to figure out a way to honor the memory of my baby. I got a tattoo. Others have gotten jewelry or tattoos. I helps to have a reminder of that little life you loved so much. *hug*
    Me: 29, DH: 29
    Married 9/27/14
    TTC #1 since 8/15/15
    BFP: 1/2/16, EDD 9/13/16 - MMC 2/10/16
    BFP: 3/17, EDD 11/23/16
    Lilypie Maternity tickers

    November 2016 April Siggy Challenge - April Showers


  • I am so sorry you have to meet in this way and I am so sorry for your loss and the pain that you are feeling. Although I knew the miscarriage stats, I was certainly not prepared for the depth of pain I've felt since last week and this terrible feeling of sadness that is lingering. This board has helped so much. Please reach out and know we all understand how you feel and are here for you. 
     ****TW: Pregnancy, loss and children mentioned****
    Me (39) DH (40) 
    From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06 
    DH- no kids
    ******************
    TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
    IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN 
    IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
    1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!!  2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days,  D&C: 2/17/16
    TTCAL: May 2016
    IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
    IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
    IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
    IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
    **10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
    12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!! 
    Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
  • I am so very sorry! I agree with pp. try to find something to cherish. My husband and I are making a memory box. In it we are putting ultrasounds, my positive pregnancy tests, etc. 
  • I am sorry for your loss @mommy2owl

    we all deal with our losses at our own pace, take your time to heal.

    I've read somewhere -probably here- that our grief is like a weight you have to carry around. You seem fine and you carry it for ceirtan amount of time and then it gets too heavy and you drop it: get upset, cry, etc. So we eventually learn to carry this weight for a longer amount of time. We embrace our pain and make it our own. 

    I found this comparison really accurate for me and it helped me deal with my grieving process right now.

    hugs
    -y-
    Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 /
    BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
    Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
    BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
    Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
    DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.

    Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
    Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
    Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I'm so glad I found this thread. I too saw my little baby (the sac) in the toilet and flushed it, it was awful and I think about it all the time. I haven't told my husband yet, he's having a hard enough time dealing with this. I was at a friends house when it happened, so I have kept that depressing fact to myself until now. I am glad I'm not the only one who had this happen.

    ME: 25, DH: 27

    TTC #1 since 09/2015

    Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016

    BFP 05/28/2016!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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