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February 2016 Moms
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Some Advice.

Cassram95Cassram95 member
in February 2016 Moms
Hey Everyone just had my daughter on the 12th. She barely came home today from the hospital because she had some problems with her blood sugar. Everything is great now. Except my relationship with her dad.  He was there when she was born and only visited her once though out her 9 day stay at the hospital. He didn't sign the birth certificate and is now demanding that I let him take her to stay the night with him at his house. I told him I wasn't going to let him take her without me going as well.  I'm breastfeeding her. He says I'm being unfair and unreasonable because I won't allow him to visit her without me being around. I just want your thoughts and opinions on this.  Thank you.
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Re: Some Advice.

  • Latina211508Latina211508 member
    You have every right to keep your child with you especially since you're breastfeeding. He didn't even sign the birth certificate so he is not even recognized. He can't demand anything. Him not visiting his baby says a lot about himself. Are you two together? 
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  • cMichelle0423cMichelle0423 member
    VitaLuna said:
    If he wants parental rights like that, he can go to court for them. I didn't even let my mom (who I 100% trust) watch my baby for a long time, let alone someone with a strained relationship like that. Stand your ground. 
    This. I know until you come to some sort of legal agreement, most states recognize the mother as having full custody. And especially if the father refuses to sign the birth certificate. There's no proof that you or him recognize him as the baby's father.  
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  • Cassram95Cassram95 member
    No we're not together anymore. We broke up around when I was 7 months pregnant. But I always kept him updated with anything regarding baby
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  • dragonfly321dragonfly321 member
    Stand your ground. He has no rights to that child, especially since he refused to be included on the birth certificate. Also, No newborn should go anywhere without their mother. 
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  • srecupidosrecupido member
    It sounds like maybe trying to have a rational conversation might be tough but legal issues aside maybe he doesn't understand how breastfeeding works? Could you try to have the conversation focused on the needs of the baby I.e how often feelings are?  
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  • 22snc1222snc12 member
    At the very least, you can't because you're breastfeeding and well babies eat throughout the night. What's he going to do starve her overnight, without you? There's nothing unreasonable about not wanting to leave your newborn with someone else. Does he realize he'll be up all night with her? She's not a toy.
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  • hbg8711hbg8711 member
    No way. Absolutely not. Do NOT let him bully you or make you feel bad about following your instincts on this. There is no way that baby should be without her mother for any extended period of time right now, never mind overnight. Like all others have said, stand your ground. 
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  • trishkev07trishkev07 member
    Completely agreeing with everyone else. He is being completely unreasonable.  If he wants to spend time with his baby whom he hasn't even legally acknowledged yet he needs to realize that if you're exclusively nursing spending even a few hours away from her is completely out of the question for you. Good luck with working this situation out! But you are absolutely in the right here.
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  • g8trkimg8trkim member
    This is a no brainier to me. Whatever the relationship, breastfeeding babies have to be with mama. If he's not on the birth certificate, he really has no rights so there you go. Sorry you're dealing with this.




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  • mrscammackmrscammack member
    I'm bottle feeding my LO but even I would not let her spend the night away from me unless I was 100% comfortable with the situation. As a new mama I think you have every right to do what makes you comfortable right now. The fact that your breastfeeding also makes it an easy argument, baby needs to eat throughout the night which means baby needs mama. How would he be planning on feeding baby while he has her? He's being unreasonable and you have every right to say no! 
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