For moms that are done having children how did you know you were done having children?

chowderswife · February 2016

I know that this is different for everyone and is also very personal, however, I was wondering at what point you knew you did not need or want any more children whether it was after 1 child or until you had one of each. I have two beautiful daughters 18 months and 6 months and I feel like if I do not make a decision soon then I would be having a third child that won't be a part of their group. I always thought that I would only have two children but I think that my husband wants to have a son and he doesn't have that yet so he keeps bringing up in joking ways that he wants to try again. So how did you know for sure that you were done having children, thank you for any advice that you can give?

vibarra27 · February 2016

I think this is a "you'll know when you get there" kind of situation. I was 18 when DD was born. I swore i only wanted her for 4 years, until i said, "hey i think i want another baby." so DH & i tried again & i got pregnant with identical twins & thats when i knew! Lol. I got a tubal 11hours after i gave birth. My reasons:
-i am 23 with 3 kids.
-i have 1 girl, 2 boys.
-once already have been pregnant with twins, you have the probability of getting pregnant with another set.
- i want to give each enough love, time, & dedication. Not saying i wouldnt love my kids but i love giving them 1 on 1 time & the more kids, the harder that gets.

All in all you'll know when you're ready!

GhanimaAtreides · February 2016

Not all child spacing is bad.

https://www.thealphaparent.com/2012/07/what-no-one-tells-you-about-child.html?m=1

I've known women to have two close together, take a 10 year break and have another two close together. You can make your childbearing years as compact or as spread out as you want them to be. I don't have the temperament to have babies close together, I just don't. My oldest is 3.5 years older than my middle child who is 5 years older than my youngest. I'm TTCAL now and hopefully the next will be 6 years younger. I really don't mind "starting over" with the night waking, nursing, pottying, etc every few years. Some want to get it over with in one huge chunk. You just have to know yourself.

I'm not a fan of sterilizing because it's so permanent. I swore up and down I was done after my last one. Was 98% sure. By the time the littlest was 3, I was closer to 50/50. By the time she was 4, I was only feeling like I was 30% done. When she was 5 we started TTC again. If it weren't for Paraguard IUDs, I would have probably sterilized and kicked myself later as the baby fever grew.

NurseRieger · February 2016

My husband is adamant on only having 1 child. He is from a dysfunctional family and had a bad experience growing up with his sisters. I would have another if he were willing but it's not worth fighting over for me. Also we need my mom for help with childcare and I don't think she can handle a baby and another child. I mean she would but I know it would be extremely difficult for her and I can't afford to not work especially if we have a 2nd child. Daycare is not an option because we work nights. DH wants a vasectomy but I tried talking to him about me getting an iud 1st and if he still feels the same in a few years he can get it then. As I said I would like a 2nd kid but not enough to fight over it.

Marley629 · February 2016

We are trying for #2 and then I am through. I am almost 34 and am exhausted and not even sure I can handle two but my family doesn't feel complete yet. For me, I would love to have more than 2 but time and finances prevents this for me - I want to be able to give my children all of me and for that reason, I know I will be tying my tubes after the next one.

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