Over protective — The Bump
Parenting after a Loss

Over protective

I've never posted on this board before but I'm just curious is it normal to be over protective of your rainbow baby? I'm protective of my kids in general but with my rainbow baby I just feel extra protective and worried about her all the time (she's 6 months old).

For example she got her first cold and I was a mess, thinking it could be the worst possible thing.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Re: Over protective

  • I remember the book "pg after loss" mentioning that. I think I am the PSTD stage beyond overprotective. When pg and now as a parent, I find myself non reactive. Like if my child is sleeping quietly for a longer time than usual and it occurs to me s/he could be dead - perhaps an overprotective parent would have checked already three times, or would rush over to check, but I don't check or I take my time (sooo afraid bad luck has struck again and I don't want to face it). Don't get me wrong, I am a parent who naturally takes risks and I shelter my children from large risks, but my thinking about the small risks is (sometimes) a little too doom and gloom to be normal I think. Thankfully time will heal. It's been a few months since your post, perhaps you are feeling more appropriately protective. Congrats on your babe!

    Unexplained IF/RPL

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  • I had a mc with my first pregnancy and my second pregnancy gave me my DD. I don't know if I'm more protective of her than I would be if I hadn't had a mc, but I am super paranoid about everything. She slept in a bassinet right by my bed till 6 mos and I would reach over to feel her breathe several times a night. When she went to her room I would sneak in to make sure she was still breathing. At 8 mos I've finally stopped doing that but I still listen for her breathing on the monitor. 

    shes only been sick twice (one stomach bug and roseola) but I was a wreck both times. 

    I think it's normal. I was nervous the whole pregnancy and I'm even more nervous now. losing a baby taught me just how fragile life is and it's a hard reality to face

    DH is a good balance and helps to calm me down and he points out the irrational fears I sometimes have. It's a process though. 

    Ashleigh (26) and Darren (26)
    Married 8-10-13
    TTC since February 2014
    BFP #1 4-22-14  EDD 1-1-15
    8w u/s 5-22-14 Baby measuring 6w1d. Heartbeat detected
    Went to Dr. 5-30-14 due to bleeding. Prescribed progesterone
    Went to ER 6-1-14 2:30 AM - diagnosed with incomplete m/c
    6-6-14 natural m/c completed
    10-24-14 BFP #2 EDD 7-6-15 **Please** be our Rainbow 

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