Opinions Needed: TV in nursery

balamama · February 2016

I've been fighting this battle with my husband now for months and would love to get your opinions on this issue. We are converting our den/office/guest room to a nursery and we have a television hooked up to cable in there now. I said we should get rid of the tv (it's our oldest one and honestly is almost NEVER used and we don't have any other room to relocate it to... and we have two other TVs) but he's adamantly opposed to that. We will still have a pull out couch in the baby's room and if we ever do have an overnight guest, he argues that the guest would like to have a TV in the room plus he plans to use it when he's up with the baby in the middle of the night. Plus he says it's a complete waste to get rid of a perfectly good TV.

My argument is that he shouldn't be watching TV when he's up with the baby in the middle of the night because it will be bad for the baby's sleep ("I'm not going to watch it on high volume!") and it's an eyesore in the nursery and we're wasting money on the cable bill in there when it's seldom, if ever, used.

Any experience with something like this or opinions on how to handle the issue? Should I just let it go?

kbrands7 · February 2016

I definitely would not have a TV in the nursery. Not only does it potentially set up the baby for poor sleep routines, but it's one more thing to have to childproof in a room that arguably should be the most childproofed room in the house (assuming baby is growing into the room rather than switching rooms as a toddler). It's tough because, I do understand that having light on for adults while up with the baby is useful in battling accidental falling asleep while on baby duty; however, babies and children are even more sensitive to that light and screens are the worst offenders. Try suggesting that your H use other things to help to keep himself awake during night duties that won't interfere as much with LO getting back to sleep like music, a fuller bladder (a bit sadistic, but it works...seriously, who can sleep when they need to pee?), a book/not backlit-tablet for reading with a red/yellow-light book light attached, or simply alternate standing and sitting with LO rather than getting super cozy when he's tired.

This article from Harvard Medical School summarizes the current research on light and sleep pretty precisely.

Bltbear82 · February 2016

@kbrands7 is totally right.

Also worth mentioning, I always found it really difficult to fall back asleep after I had used my phone to read during a feeding. When you're getting sleep in 2-4 hour spurts you need every second you can get, and I would find myself wide awake until the next feeding and then miserable.

kbrands7 · February 2016

Yes, @bltbear82! I had the same experience with trying to use my phone initially, even on dim light.

dsmith211 · February 2016

No TV. We have the hookup in our nursery too, but we figured getting the baby adjusted to a sleep schedule will be hard enough as it is without introducing a TV to the room.

vinerie · February 2016

babyfmama said:

I've been fighting this battle with my husband now for months and would love to get your opinions on this issue. We are converting our den/office/guest room to a nursery and we have a television hooked up to cable in there now. I said we should get rid of the tv (it's our oldest one and honestly is almost NEVER used and we don't have any other room to relocate it to... and we have two other TVs) but he's adamantly opposed to that. We will still have a pull out couch in the baby's room and if we ever do have an overnight guest, he argues that the guest would like to have a TV in the room plus he plans to use it when he's up with the baby in the middle of the night. Plus he says it's a complete waste to get rid of a perfectly good TV.

My argument is that he shouldn't be watching TV when he's up with the baby in the middle of the night because it will be bad for the baby's sleep ("I'm not going to watch it on high volume!") and it's an eyesore in the nursery and we're wasting money on the cable bill in there when it's seldom, if ever, used.

Any experience with something like this or opinions on how to handle the issue? Should I just let it go?

N-O no! No TVs in the nursery! I don't think there should be TVs in bedrooms, period, but that is another issue.

mcb2016 · February 2016

Another no to a TV in the nursery. We don't even have one in our bedroom.

NB817 · February 2016

Yeah agree with everyone else. Absolutely not. Get rid of it. And if you have overnight guests are they really going to turn on a tv while your baby is sleeping in the same room as them? Nope. You don't have to get rid of it but it shouldn't be in a nursery. Tell your DH he can keep the tv just not in there.

PYLWhammy · February 2016

This will probably be a UO, but I say leave it for now. Not because I'm pro-tv in the nursery (I'm absolutely not), but because I just don't think it's worth fighting over. He'll soon learn firsthand that a tv is not conducive to getting baby to fall asleep. Then you can revisit the whole thing (and say 'I told you so!')

mrstmoose · February 2016

That'd be a big hell no from me.

sarawifenow · February 2016

No way. This would be me if my H made that argument.

proudparent2b · February 2016

I'd say definitely no tv, but is there somewhere else you can use or store it as a compromise?

Also, who will be up with the child the most? If MH has a job by then (fingers crossed), I've agreed to take all overnight baby duty until I go back to work after FMLA, since he'd be the one having to get up early in the morning and I'd theoretically get more opportunity to sleep.

balamama · February 2016

thank you all for weighing in! I sent him the Harvard med school article as well as a couple of others I found on sleep cycles and infants to dissuade him from turning on the TV when LO is trying to get back to sleep, so thank you @kbrands7.

@PYLWhammy, I think I'm going to take this approach, just let it be for now as long as he agrees not to have the TV on in the middle of the night, and then when it's time to baby proof (we aren't doing it ahead of time... maybe this should go on the FFFC thread) I'm going to advocate to get rid of the TV again. I have to pick my battles, and there are many.

PYLWhammy · February 2016

babyfmama said:

I have to pick my battles, and there are many.

Indeed!! Something I learned very early in my marriage

pbandjyummies · February 2016

We also converted our guest room into the nursery. We do have a TV, it's attached to the wall (instead of on top of a dresser), it does not have cable so it's basically useless unless we plug in the FireTV or a DVD player. We are planning to keep it in there because it is a perfectly good TV but we have no intention of actually using it ourselves or the baby. It's pretty much just taking up wall space but we are ok with it.

balamama · February 2016

@pbandjyummies to keep my OP as brief as possible, I left out the backstory about how the TV used to be mounted to the wall the crib was going to be against, but I insisted on having it taken down and set on a stand elsewhere (and having the wall refinished) so that it wasn't a fall or cord risk (or as much of an eyesore). Baby steps on getting the damn thing out of there completely

@proudparent2b, unfortunately there really isn't anywhere else to store it in the apartment... but his parents' house two states away seems like a good choice to me!

Knottie13257900 · February 2016

I'm biased because I hate tv...but I vote you get rid of it.

2.red.heads · February 2016

In some ways we have a similar situation. Our nursery is currently the office and it has a small flat screen tv mounted to the wall. This office/sunroom/nursery is right off of the dining room, kitchen, living room areas. We will only use this room as a nursery for a couple years because we are planning a house addition and then the twins will have a 'real' bedroom. I also am 'anti-tv' in bedrooms, esp kids bedrooms (we have two older kids already) but this office tv isn't an eye-sore and DH said he didn't feel like dismounting it (patching the wall, etc). Trust me, we have SO many other things and projects to keep us busy! So, the tv is staying. I imagine I'll watch it sometimes when I'm nursing during the day in the nursery. It's no different than nursing in the living room and watching tv during the day.

So, that's our situation. If it was a big clunky eye-sore of a tv and I didn't have a lot of extra space I would want it gone (we have one of these types of tvs in the house too! It's in the basement w/only a dvd player - no cable).

GL. I agree, pick your battles. It's not like your future 9 month old baby can choose to turn on the tv and veg out with a bowl of chips. Maybe after a year or so the tv can disappear...

Pascal86 · February 2016

I'm not going to make any assumptions about what you guys own, but I know enough people with laptops/tablets that I feel like it's safe to suggest that if he has one of those and is desperate in the middle of the night, he can just watch something on those. There doesn't need to be a TV in there all the time.

hellogoodbye2 · February 2016

No no NO!

chottomotto · February 2016

I'd gladly leave it. I have a wall-mounted smart TV and the crib in our master bedroom. (My husband gets to sleep in the guest room on another floor.) I'm so excited to have a TV in the room! I'll suffer severe sleep deprivation no matter what, at least Netflix will keep my breast pump from repeatedly telling me "you suck." Sounds crazy as hell but I'm being serious.

AdorkablePixie · February 2016

I'd say that's a big NO especially watching it in the middle,of the night when tending to baby. If electronics mess with our sleep imagine how they will mess with the sleep of an infant.. DH and I don't even have a TV in our room, and we won't ever. Our room is for two things- sleep and sex. That's it. lol

JessicaB0627 · February 2016

I agree that the light from the tv could hinder the baby's sleep patterns at a time when you really desperately will want him/her to learn to sleep well. I also think it could set up for bad habits in the future. I could be a little biased though because I didn't let DD watch tv until she was 2 and she's still not allowed to play with tablets/phones. But I am very adamant that neither of our children will have tvs in their rooms, probably ever.

zekesmommy611 · February 2016

My DH is obsessed with having TVs in almost every room, even though he NEVER watchs any of them but the one in the living room. He insisted on having a TV in DS #1 nursery, I thought it was not needed but that was one thing I wasn't arguing about. DH told me he wanted to watch TV when he rocked the baby or put the baby to bed. He mounted a small flat screen, got cable hooked up and it was NEVER used. Since we never used the TV in DS #1 nursery he most likely won't bother to get a new TV, thank god!

laurenmdrn16 · February 2016

chottomotto said:

I'd gladly leave it. I have a wall-mounted smart TV and the crib in our master bedroom. (My husband gets to sleep in the guest room on another floor.) I'm so excited to have a TV in the room! I'll suffer severe sleep deprivation no matter what, at least Netflix will keep my breast pump from repeatedly telling me "you suck." Sounds crazy as hell but I'm being serious.

My breast pump would also taunt me mercilessly! I started listening to classical music while pumping/BFing and to this day my son can't sleep without classical music! I agree that screens really hinder sleep for both you and baby.

KidShrink · February 2016

I think that's breeding ground for really poor habits for baby. Not only is it likely to hinder sleep patterns now, but that also means you're okay with them possibly watching TV before bed as they grow up and/or frequently isolating themselves from the rest of the family to watch TV on their own as they grow up. I have a strict 'no TV in bedroom' policy for us, and that definitely wouldn't fly in baby's room.

BlueJuice · February 2016

I'm of the opinion I might not fight this battle, right now. Please understand I'm not a huge TV junky - in fact, we have only one TV in the whole house, in the living room, and it can go for days without being turned on. So I'm definitely in agreement with those who recommend not having TVs in bedrooms, not watching a lot of screens while trying to soothe the baby back to sleep, etc. I would never advocate installing a TV in a nursery.

However, where this TV is already in there, and you say there is nowhere else reasonable to put it, I'm not sure I would insist on having it removed. Especially since you say the room will be doing double duty as a guest room on occasion, in which case having a TV in there isn't the most unreasonable thing I've ever heard of. (I'm assuming that your baby will end up relocating temporarily on those occasions, not doubling up with the guests.) I'd be okay with having the TV safely ensconced in the room on a shelf or the wall, and just not turning it on.

balamama · February 2016

BlueJuice said:

I'm of the opinion I might not fight this battle, right now. Please understand I'm not a huge TV junky - in fact, we have only one TV in the whole house, in the living room, and it can go for days without being turned on. So I'm definitely in agreement with those who recommend not having TVs in bedrooms, not watching a lot of screens while trying to soothe the baby back to sleep, etc. I would never advocate installing a TV in a nursery.

However, where this TV is already in there, and you say there is nowhere else reasonable to put it, I'm not sure I would insist on having it removed. Especially since you say the room will be doing double duty as a guest room on occasion, in which case having a TV in there isn't the most unreasonable thing I've ever heard of. (I'm assuming that your baby will end up relocating temporarily on those occasions, not doubling up with the guests.) I'd be okay with having the TV safely ensconced in the room on a shelf or the wall, and just not turning it on.

This is what I'm going to do. We will be moving in 1.5-2 years so I'd like to get the tv out of there before then (probably as part of baby proofing) but when we have more space there will 100% not be a tv in baby's room.

mels823 · February 2016

No to the TV. We don't even have one in our bedroom anymore because I could never fall asleep when my H was watching. I exclusively pumped with my first so while she slept and I pumped in the nursery in the middle of the night, I would bring in an iPad and watch an episode of the office or another 30 minute show. I wouldn't do it while feeding her though, only if she was sleeping. Didn't mess with me getting back to bed. I was so freaking exhausted, nothing could have kept me from sleeping.

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