Does anyone else have a Grandmother they miss? Mine have both passed away (one after a lengthy battle with Alzheimer's two years ago, and one from lung failure ten years ago). I was very close to both of mine and notice missing them even more now that LO is on the way. Feels like the grief is fresh.
Wasn't sure if anyone was experiencing the same, but thought it might be nice to share our favorite stories of family members we loved and wished could meet our LOs, doesn't have to be a Grandma.
Re: Great Grandma Stories
Both of my Grandpa's have passed: one when I was 12, the other when I was 25. When I was a child I spent a lot of time with my Grandpa who died when I was 12...he taught me to play baseball, hockey, tennis, always took me for walks down by the river, & would give up any of his down time just to hang out with me. I was so lucky to have him! I wish so badly that he could meet my H, & my son...because I know he'd be so proud. It's nice to imagine how he would be as a Great-Grandpa, & I know he would be wanting to do all of the same things with him as he did with me.
It's nice (& emotional) to think of these memories.
SaveSave
She cared for us for extended periods as my parents often travelled; and one time, around age 11 or so, I got it into my head that I knew better then her how to cook a hamburger. I tried to explain how she was burning the meat and 'doing it wrong' on my parents' fancy new stovetop grill. Without missing a beat, that steely-eyed woman picked a juicy patty and squeezed down with the spatula until it flamed black and the majority fell off in chunks below the grate. She lifted the spatula, pointed to the tiny hockey puck, and said calmly: "that one's yours."
Maybe not the typical sweet memory, but it really stuck with me and to this day it makes me smile and laugh every time I think of how effortlessly she shut my pre-teen 'tude down. You can bet I didn't try that twice!
Alzheimer's is an impossible disease and dementia is similarly impossible. I'm so sorry you are struggling with that. Watching my Grandmother- who was so bright and fierce-disappear was .. I don't have words. I am so glad that your one Grandma can enjoy this period of family growth and happiness with you.
During the last year, my Grandma didn't remember any of us and seemed afraid or angry most of the time. She had stopped talking altogether, but on one visit I noticed she kept humming under her breath. We finally figured out what song it was and I remember playing it on my computer for her. Suddenly she started singing clear as day and there was so much happiness in her beautiful, young-sounding voice. It was Ethel Mermen's 'Let Me Call You Sweetheart'. I hope you get more special moments with both your Grandma's.
I also have both grandmas. I don't talk to my dad so never really got close with my paternal grandma, her H passed away in 2009. I live with my maternal grandmother, she is in a wheelchair (only 64yrs old) so we moved in to help take care of her after she put my (67yr old) grandpa in a home for alzhimers. He is my best friend and miss him dearly! He walked me down the isle at my wedding. It kills me to see him the way he is, he is to a point where he can't talk, and gets angry easily. I go with my grandma every Friday to visit him and the visit usually ends with my 4 year old crying saying "grandpa Larry is my best friend, I want him back home" then I cry and my amazingly strong grandmother holding us both as we cry. I could hold myself together before pregnancy for the sake of my grandma and would cry when she wasn't around but I have no control anymore.
I've always been close to my maternal grandparents, and dealing with this while pregnant has been extra emotional. It's funny, almost the minute he died, I felt like I couldn't remember any specific memory. I think it was a reaction to the grief - the memories are coming back, and it's like a wave of emotion when they do.
In the week before he died, he was talking with us and someone asked what the best part of his life has been. Without hesitation he turned to my grandma and answered "spending the last 50 years with you". My grandpa was never overly sentimental. I know it affected all of us a lot - I wish that my husband and I have a love like that.
I have lost 3 uncles one when I was 4 and luckily I remember one thing about him. My grandma watched me everyday while my parents worked and every day after he got off work he would come over, open the front door, and wait for me to run down the hallway and pick me up high in the air!
The second uncle I lost when I was in middle school and it was the hardest thing I ever went through. He was like a father to me and was such an amazing person. Before my parents got married he did all the "dad things" like teach me to ride a bike. He had cancer and fought for 4 long years before he passed. It was really hard on our whole family.
ETA: @mrsb8214 Uncles are the best! So glad you were close.
I never got the chance to be close to my paternal grandparents. My grandma and my mom didn't get along so we didn't see them very often, maaaybe once a year for a day or two. When they died (grandpa when I was 15, grandma just last year) I felt a lot of anger and resentment and I struggled with both deaths a lot, but especially my grandmother's. At her funeral, I vowed to my husband to at least do my part to make sure all of our kids' grandparents were a part of their life despite my own personal issues. I wish my LO had a chance to meet my dad's parents. They were a wonderful couple. My grandfather was one of the hardest workers I've ever known and my grandmother treated him like a king - and vice versa. They lived in the same house their entire marriage (55+ years). I don't have a lot of memories with them, the few I do have are limited to the last few months of their lives when we visited a bit more frequently but I always felt so loved over there and I know they would have loved this baby. I'm always really sad I missed out on getting to know them better.
I wasn't really close with my other grandparents. One passed away long before I was born (I'm actually named after him), my Papa passed shortly after my 6th birthday and my other grandma when I was 12 (she had suffered many mini strokes that left her paralyzed from the chest down by the time I was 7, and her speech wasn't really all there). Obviously I loved them all and cherish the memories I shared with them.
Thankfully we have large families on both sides and lots of people to love our kids and be close to them.
My mom's parents died before I was born. Her dad when she was only 8 from lung cancer and her mom when she was pregnant with me from pancreatic cancer. My mom's mom was an incredible woman who raised 6 kids mostly alone. She was a post master general in the 1950s and from stories I've heard, a very funny woman.
My dad's dad died when I was 7 after a stroke and I only have a few memories of him. My dad's mom had Alzheimer's and died when I was 17. She was an excellent baker who always had fresh cookies for her grandkids. She was fiercely independent and didn't want to move to a home but eventually had to. I loved visiting her until the last couple years when she no longer recognized us and seemed scared. It was especially hard to watch my dad during that time.
My husbands grandma is still alive and well and I'm excited for our LO to have a great-grandma in her life.
The hardest part for me during this pregnancy is the loss of my mom. She died 13 years ago. In fact the anniversary was earlier this week and it hit me pretty hard. She and I were really close and I miss her a lot. She was warm, loving, goofy, and thoughtful. I wish my kids would have a chance to know her. My favorite memories are of the two of us sitting together talking about anything and everything. I know I'm the woman I am today because of her and for that I'm really grateful.
My husband on the other hand, when we met and up until the last few years, he still had all 4 grandparents plus two great grandmothers that were well over 100 years old. Those two ladies have now passed (one at 103 and one at 108). As a result, my kids have 8 grandparents (5 grandparents and 3 great grandparents). It's pretty wild!
@HBMama2B - Do you have anything of your grandmothers' to pass on? Other than my grandmother's name (my middle name too) that I plan to pass on to my child as her middle name, my grandmother made me two blankets for my future children before she had her strokes. I cherish them more than anything.
@mkemommy your grandmother sounds like an amazing, outstanding person! I mean, wow!
I am trying to figure out how to cook her B'noodles (beef and noodle dish from Ohio) so that I can make that for our kids and relearning how to knit since she taught me but I forgot. She use to cook the B'noodles for us and end with chocolate pudding. It was my hands down favorite and I'd peel so many potatoes at the kitchen with her for that meal. After eating her delicious homemade noodles and beef sauce on top of mashed potatoes, my sister and I would smear as much pudding on our faces as we could then go kiss our grandpa good night, trying to make the stoic soldier as messy as possible. They knew we did it on purpose and never once cracked a smile or ruined the joy of the messy joke; my grandpa just sat in his rocker and dutifully, seriously, accepted his chocolate goo infested kisses.