Great Grandma Stories

HBamama2B · February 2016

Does anyone else have a Grandmother they miss? Mine have both passed away (one after a lengthy battle with Alzheimer's two years ago, and one from lung failure ten years ago). I was very close to both of mine and notice missing them even more now that LO is on the way. Feels like the grief is fresh.

Wasn't sure if anyone was experiencing the same, but thought it might be nice to share our favorite stories of family members we loved and wished could meet our LOs, doesn't have to be a Grandma.

DeePaddy24 · February 2016

I still have both of my Grandma's, but one has Alzheimer's & the other has dementia...so I miss them in a very different way right now. I'm extremely close with my Grandma who has Alzheimer's, & even though she doesn't remember a lot anymore, she seems to remember everything about me: my wedding, pregnancy news, that we're having a boy, etc. It's pretty amazing, & I have no idea what I would do without her. My other Grandma, unfortunately, doesn't remember anything anymore, especially who any of us are. It hurts. She was once so vibrant & energetic, & my son will never get to experience that.
Both of my Grandpa's have passed: one when I was 12, the other when I was 25. When I was a child I spent a lot of time with my Grandpa who died when I was 12...he taught me to play baseball, hockey, tennis, always took me for walks down by the river, & would give up any of his down time just to hang out with me. I was so lucky to have him! I wish so badly that he could meet my H, & my son...because I know he'd be so proud. It's nice to imagine how he would be as a Great-Grandpa, & I know he would be wanting to do all of the same things with him as he did with me.
It's nice (& emotional) to think of these memories.

HBamama2B · February 2016

My Grandma Olive (maternal) lived through the depression, grew up dirt poor, and was very bold for her time. She birthed 6 kids, 5 who survived infancy, and built a career as a store clerk she was very proud of (back in the day when that type of job came with a fat pension and stock in the store chain.) As a military spouse she had to manage the 5 kids by herself and relocated often, even as far as 'across the pond'. Her main attributes: Intelligent, tough, and hard-working.

She cared for us for extended periods as my parents often travelled; and one time, around age 11 or so, I got it into my head that I knew better then her how to cook a hamburger. I tried to explain how she was burning the meat and 'doing it wrong' on my parents' fancy new stovetop grill. Without missing a beat, that steely-eyed woman picked a juicy patty and squeezed down with the spatula until it flamed black and the majority fell off in chunks below the grate. She lifted the spatula, pointed to the tiny hockey puck, and said calmly: "that one's yours."

Maybe not the typical sweet memory, but it really stuck with me and to this day it makes me smile and laugh every time I think of how effortlessly she shut my pre-teen 'tude down. You can bet I didn't try that twice!

HBamama2B · February 2016

@deepaddy24 He sounds like a fantastic Grandpa! I also lost my grandpas early (one when I was age three and my maternal one when I was 13). I know how you feel and am sure he would be so proud.

Alzheimer's is an impossible disease and dementia is similarly impossible. I'm so sorry you are struggling with that. Watching my Grandmother- who was so bright and fierce-disappear was .. I don't have words. I am so glad that your one Grandma can enjoy this period of family growth and happiness with you.

During the last year, my Grandma didn't remember any of us and seemed afraid or angry most of the time. She had stopped talking altogether, but on one visit I noticed she kept humming under her breath. We finally figured out what song it was and I remember playing it on my computer for her. Suddenly she started singing clear as day and there was so much happiness in her beautiful, young-sounding voice. It was Ethel Mermen's 'Let Me Call You Sweetheart'. I hope you get more special moments with both your Grandma's.

Hbraun200 · February 2016

I also have both grandmas. I don't talk to my dad so never really got close with my paternal grandma, her H passed away in 2009. I live with my maternal grandmother, she is in a wheelchair (only 64yrs old) so we moved in to help take care of her after she put my (67yr old) grandpa in a home for alzhimers. He is my best friend and miss him dearly! He walked me down the isle at my wedding. It kills me to see him the way he is, he is to a point where he can't talk, and gets angry easily. I go with my grandma every Friday to visit him and the visit usually ends with my 4 year old crying saying "grandpa Larry is my best friend, I want him back home" then I cry and my amazingly strong grandmother holding us both as we cry. I could hold myself together before pregnancy for the sake of my grandma and would cry when she wasn't around but I have no control anymore.

Lyette1206 · February 2016

I lost my maternal grandpa in January. He had cancer for a few years, but treatment was going well. On New Year's Eve we found out it had spread and was very aggressively growing on his liver. He died a week later.
I've always been close to my maternal grandparents, and dealing with this while pregnant has been extra emotional. It's funny, almost the minute he died, I felt like I couldn't remember any specific memory. I think it was a reaction to the grief - the memories are coming back, and it's like a wave of emotion when they do.
In the week before he died, he was talking with us and someone asked what the best part of his life has been. Without hesitation he turned to my grandma and answered "spending the last 50 years with you". My grandpa was never overly sentimental. I know it affected all of us a lot - I wish that my husband and I have a love like that.

HBamama2B · February 2016

@hbraun200 that sounds incredibly difficult, those visits are really tough, especially the anger that just isn't like them. I'm so glad you and your grandma have eachother. & How special your grandfather walked you down the aisle! That's an incredible memory to have. Hugs.

mrsb8244 · February 2016

Thank you all for sharing these amazing stories! I am so grateful to still have all of my grandparents although I dread the day when I don't. My maternal grandpa will be 90 this year and last March we had a big scare where he ended up in the hospital not able to walk, was confused, and they said he wouldn't make it. Well fast forward to now and I guess he wanted to prove that doctor wrong because he's back at home ha.

I have lost 3 uncles one when I was 4 and luckily I remember one thing about him. My grandma watched me everyday while my parents worked and every day after he got off work he would come over, open the front door, and wait for me to run down the hallway and pick me up high in the air!

The second uncle I lost when I was in middle school and it was the hardest thing I ever went through. He was like a father to me and was such an amazing person. Before my parents got married he did all the "dad things" like teach me to ride a bike. He had cancer and fought for 4 long years before he passed. It was really hard on our whole family.

HBamama2B · February 2016

@lyette1206 I'm so sorry for your loss, the memories will come back in time. What a great role model for marriage he was...50 years, wow. I wish you and your DH the same.

ETA: @mrsb8214 Uncles are the best! So glad you were close.

ahernandez16 · February 2016

I'm really lucky. I still have both of my maternal grandparents and my maternal great grandmother. So my LO, pending her continued health, will have a great great grandmother which is really special.

I never got the chance to be close to my paternal grandparents. My grandma and my mom didn't get along so we didn't see them very often, maaaybe once a year for a day or two. When they died (grandpa when I was 15, grandma just last year) I felt a lot of anger and resentment and I struggled with both deaths a lot, but especially my grandmother's. At her funeral, I vowed to my husband to at least do my part to make sure all of our kids' grandparents were a part of their life despite my own personal issues. I wish my LO had a chance to meet my dad's parents. They were a wonderful couple. My grandfather was one of the hardest workers I've ever known and my grandmother treated him like a king - and vice versa. They lived in the same house their entire marriage (55+ years). I don't have a lot of memories with them, the few I do have are limited to the last few months of their lives when we visited a bit more frequently but I always felt so loved over there and I know they would have loved this baby. I'm always really sad I missed out on getting to know them better.

splsmama2016 · February 2016

My Gramma (as we called her) was pretty much my best friend. She was cool, calm and collected, but also was beyond snarky that I think she'd have to teach us all how to play. Hah. She came to every skating competition, test, exhibition and show. Always sitting smack in the center so I could find her. My first out-of-town competition when I was 8, she got me this stuffed bear as a good luck present. It worked, as I won all my events that competition. The bear now comes with me because Gramma is no longer with us. It actually had its own seat at my wedding, as I needed to know she was with me that day. She passed away in 2009 from a stroke and heart failure. Valentine's Day is really difficult for me, as it was her birthday, and just the two of us would always go out to get In-N-Out burgers and get ice cream afterwards. She made it to see her first great grandchild, my niece, and meeting her for the first time you could tell that was the biggest accomplishment for her.
I wasn't really close with my other grandparents. One passed away long before I was born (I'm actually named after him), my Papa passed shortly after my 6th birthday and my other grandma when I was 12 (she had suffered many mini strokes that left her paralyzed from the chest down by the time I was 7, and her speech wasn't really all there). Obviously I loved them all and cherish the memories I shared with them.

Lyette1206 · February 2016

@sdLindenberg I love that you had such special memento of your grandma at your wedding. So special that you can share your memories and your bear with your LO and tell them all about their great grandma

HBamama2B · February 2016

@sdlindenberg I love that story! The bear at the wedding is lovely. I played 'Let Me Call You Sweetheart' during my processional to have my grandma included somehow and it was great to include a wonderful memory from her.

Emztron500 · February 2016

I only have one surviving grandparent (my maternal grandmother) but she has advanced Alzheimer's and all her memories and personality are just gone at this point. She was in excellent health and was very vibrant and independent before the Alzheimer's diagnosis so it has been hard to watch her mind deteriorate so far while her body is still pretty much ok. She did make it to my wedding 8 years ago which was special. She was confused and foggy and couldn't quite keep straight who I was, but she was happy and loved the wedding and kept calling me "the girl marrying the man with the beautiful blue eyes." We were never extremely close due to distance but it was so special having her there! I don't think we will ever travel to have my daughter (and the new baby) meet her, to be honest. I last saw her a few years ago and she was just so not there anymore. I don't think she likes visitors.

Thankfully we have large families on both sides and lots of people to love our kids and be close to them.

Scout27 · February 2016

Thanks for starting this and to everyone for sharing their stories!

My mom's parents died before I was born. Her dad when she was only 8 from lung cancer and her mom when she was pregnant with me from pancreatic cancer. My mom's mom was an incredible woman who raised 6 kids mostly alone. She was a post master general in the 1950s and from stories I've heard, a very funny woman.

My dad's dad died when I was 7 after a stroke and I only have a few memories of him. My dad's mom had Alzheimer's and died when I was 17. She was an excellent baker who always had fresh cookies for her grandkids. She was fiercely independent and didn't want to move to a home but eventually had to. I loved visiting her until the last couple years when she no longer recognized us and seemed scared. It was especially hard to watch my dad during that time.

My husbands grandma is still alive and well and I'm excited for our LO to have a great-grandma in her life.

The hardest part for me during this pregnancy is the loss of my mom. She died 13 years ago. In fact the anniversary was earlier this week and it hit me pretty hard. She and I were really close and I miss her a lot. She was warm, loving, goofy, and thoughtful. I wish my kids would have a chance to know her. My favorite memories are of the two of us sitting together talking about anything and everything. I know I'm the woman I am today because of her and for that I'm really grateful.

mamabird24 · February 2016

After my dad passed when I was 3, my mom didn't really do the whole mother thing well. My brothers and I lived with my grandparents for a good part of our childhood and their farm was always a safe haven from our not so great lives. She was my rock, the one constant in my life. She passed 6 years ago one week after I found out I was pregnant with DD1. I always wanted her to be around for my kids, but that just wasn't in the cards. I miss her every day but when something big happens (like getting pregnant) she's the first person I want to tell. It's gotten easier, but the pain of her not being here never goes away completely.

Lyette1206 · February 2016

@Scout27 so sorry that this pregnancy is bringing up new grief in the loss of your mother. I hope you take comfort in knowing that she clearly showed you how to be an amazing mom to your little one. Your relationship with her will live on in the special times you'll have with them.

m8881 · February 2016

My husband and I are total polar opposites in this area. 3 of my 4 grandparents died early (maternal grandma when my mom was 8, paternal grandma my dad was 15, pat grandpa when my dad was 21), but my remaining grandpa lived to 88 and was the most incredible person. We were very close.
My husband on the other hand, when we met and up until the last few years, he still had all 4 grandparents plus two great grandmothers that were well over 100 years old. Those two ladies have now passed (one at 103 and one at 108). As a result, my kids have 8 grandparents (5 grandparents and 3 great grandparents). It's pretty wild!

peaceinnature · February 2016

I only knew one of my grandmothers and she passed away over ten years ago. I still miss her and love to tell my son stories about her. I just recently told him how if I woke up from a bad dream in the middle of the night she would get up with me and we'd go out into the kitchen and have cookies and milk and talk. I have really strong memories of how special that felt and the warmth of her kitchen with just the stove light on and how easy it was to talk to her. I really do still miss her and hope I can talk to her again one day. After she died I had a dream that she came to chat with me and at the end she said she would see me again, but it would feel like a long time for me. And I remember holding her hand across the table and saying goodbye until then.

fishwife799 · February 2016

My grandpa passed away last May from CPOD. He would have been 88 in July. I was so thankful that he got to meet both of my kids and our son shares his middle name. I was bummed hen we found out we were expecting this one to think that he will never meet the baby. He only got to meet our son once but at least I have those pictures for him. This baby won't have that. When we went to go see him the last time he was in the hospital he told me a story about a book he had read. I knew at that moment that would be the last time I saw him.

Hbraun200 · February 2016

@m8881 my kids to have tons of grandparents. My parents are separated and remarried and H's paternal grandparents are separated and remarried. Our kids have 6 grandparents with my step parents and 7 great grandparents so a grand total of 13!! And up until a year ago a great great grandma! It's nuts DS calls them all grandma or grandpa followed by their first name or he could never keep them all straight! Lol and the worst part of it is SIL doesn't want kids my brother is 3 so it'll be some time before he has kids and my other brother doesn't want any kids so my kids are SPOILED since they are the only grand kids and for some great grandparents they're the only great grand kids!

but we defiantly are blessed

egirl1025 · February 2016

@HBamama2B thank you so much for this post. Grandparents are the most special people. I used to spend my summers with my maternal grandparents and they were the happiest times of my young life. My Grandpa was the most important person in my life next to my mom. He was everything my father should have been. He taught me all the important lessons in life, such as how to tie my shoes, color in the lines, ride my bike, how to save money and diversify my portfolio...lol. He based away five years ago this February and I have never felt a loss so physically before...piece of me was gone. My Grandma passed away a week before I found out I was pregnant. We like to think that our LO was a gift from her. My little boy's middle name will be after my grandfather, Edward. Like I said nothing compares to the love that a grandparent can give a child.

mkemommy · February 2016

This is a great thread.

I miss my grandmother terribly. She raised me until I was about 13, when I finally moved in with my parents (long story) because I switched schools/location. A month or so before my 14th birthday she had a series of strokes and I always regreted moving out of her house to switch schools because I think she stopped taking care of herself as well when I moved out. She then moved in with my parents and myself after her release from the hospital and we took care of her for 7 years (the strokes left her unable to take care of herself or walk around without assistance, etc.). I usually had the morning shift (bathroom break, quick wash up, feeding breakfast, etc.), the after school shift until my mom got home from work and then the evening shift if she woke up in the middle of the night (I'm a light sleeper). Even in her illness, was incredibly feisty and independent. She fought against the Nazi's occupation of Denmark, hid her Jewish friends in her trap door basement when they did inspections of homes, dyed her Jewish friends' hair to escape notice from the Nazis (she was a hair dresser), drove across Europe on her motorcycle at age 19, etc. I have SO many stories of all of the amazing things she did in her lifetime. She was a strong woman whose spirit lives on in me in so many ways. I plan on using her name as our daughter's middle name (it is also my middle name) and I hope my daughter will continue the tradition one day with her own kids if she has them.

@HBMama2B - Do you have anything of your grandmothers' to pass on? Other than my grandmother's name (my middle name too) that I plan to pass on to my child as her middle name, my grandmother made me two blankets for my future children before she had her strokes. I cherish them more than anything.

HBamama2B · February 2016

I love reading all these stories and the wonderful impact these people had! It's so very special.

@mkemommy your grandmother sounds like an amazing, outstanding person! I mean, wow!

I have an opal pin from my paternal grandma, (I used it in my wedding bouquet) that I will pass on, my parents had it made for her for taking care of me. But unfortunately, I don't have much to pass on from my maternal grandma. She didn't have much growing up and didn't want much as an adult and much of her limited special items were lost during her early Alzheimer's.

I am trying to figure out how to cook her B'noodles (beef and noodle dish from Ohio) so that I can make that for our kids and relearning how to knit since she taught me but I forgot. She use to cook the B'noodles for us and end with chocolate pudding. It was my hands down favorite and I'd peel so many potatoes at the kitchen with her for that meal. After eating her delicious homemade noodles and beef sauce on top of mashed potatoes, my sister and I would smear as much pudding on our faces as we could then go kiss our grandpa good night, trying to make the stoic soldier as messy as possible. They knew we did it on purpose and never once cracked a smile or ruined the joy of the messy joke; my grandpa just sat in his rocker and dutifully, seriously, accepted his chocolate goo infested kisses.

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